Sovellis

Ow ow ow ow ow. I lifted again, and now I am so sore... You'd think that this would be enough motivation for me to keep up on regular exercise, lol. Every time I slack off or fall out of the habit, I have to go through this initial intense soreness and stiffness yet again. At least I know it won't last!

Today I am being stupidly productive, and it's awesome! Even knocked out a couple of anxiety provoking things on my list that I've been putting off, like transferring some audio files for a school thing and checking what all I need to be able to switch my license to an Illinois license. With elections coming up and all, I really need to get this done. Unfortunately, I apparently need to wait until I get another round of bills in the mail and a statement from my bank (to prove residency). One problem of not having an up to date lease is that I now can't use that as proof that I live here. Oh well. I also did interview prep, and while the anxiety keeps popping up, I'm doing pretty good acknowledging it and then just keeping going. I hope I can keep it up. I honestly don't even want to get placed at this site, but I gotta try anyway. Still gotta lift, shower, pull runes, and read, but I did finally get around to finishing the wallet project from my leather tooling kit. Tooling is so tedious, but it looks really neat when it's done. The stitching was a PAIN though, and I wore a spot on my thumb raw. I pretty much haven't stopped moving all day, and I've gotten a bunch done, but I still feel like I'm not doing enough. Maybe I'll take my bike wheel to the shop tomorrow so I can finally get it set up on the trainer. Alright, I'm gonna write up a thing I promised Noor, cast runes, then hopefully my food will be settled enough that I can lift. Oh, and Shadri, it won't let me quote your post for some reason, but that pic is adorable!

I used pretty much every strategy I could think of, and you're so right about it being an uphill battle, but I made it through! Woot! It's rough for sure. It's amazing how you can get so tired that it's physically painful, but it's worth it! Now ONWARD!

Sov was tired, very tired, but he knew that regardless he would have to set out in the morning. He also knew that it would help to have some company, and immediately thought of his new halfling friend. He made his way to her door and knocked. "You still for hire? " the muffled voice beyond the door inquired. Some shuffling, then a reply from the other side of the door: "Depends. What are you hiring for?" "Simple enough, I need a guard, one to get me back to Sejabird Hill and possibly help with security once there." The door opens. "Oh, really? You're going... home?" She'd heard him mention the Hill, but wasn't entirely sure what his relationship to it was "Yes, I've been summoned, I think there might be something serious going on." He paused, unsure of how much to divulge. "The message was rather brief, but I do have duties to uphold there." Ed looked him up and down. He looked like shit. She didn't feel all that much better, herself. "Okay, we can travel. But first, get some sleep." She started to shut the door, then stopped. "My usual rates will apply." A grin spread across his face. "Of course, I would expect no less," he said with a nod and headed back to his own room, longing for his bed. Looking back over his shoulder, he said, "Be ready to leave at dawn, we have a long way to go." <------<<< Sleep resets suck, but I think it worked. I woke a little after 10 and actually feel functional. Already knocked out my duolingo for the day. The rest of today's to do list includes ACT work, interview prep, lifting, runes, dishes, reading, and feeding the snakes. Oh, and thanks to JMitch for lending her halfling character, Ed, to this little rp! What is it with Sov an halflings? lol

Bwahahaha!!!

WOW I am so tired right now. Hard resets suck. Ugh, come on, I can do this! 10 pm! RAR! I managed my duolingo, dishes, and took down the xmas tree. Kinda doubt I'll get my fitness goal met today,but I did go on an hour and a half long walk in the wee hours of the morning, so that sorta almost works.Oh, I also did some spiritual reading stuff, not much, but as much as my brain would allow. Now for bad tv and maybe another walk, anything that is engaging but doesn't require much brain work. Wheeeeee.... Time for more coffee. Gotta make it to 10!

Found you!

Woo! I did all the things I intended to plus some! Now I just need to stay up until 10 pm tomorrow at the earliest. Rar. lol, yeah, a perpetual struggle for me too Good to see you again! Aw, thanks. I'm not too thrilled with my first entry for this story, but my brain was just sorta refusing to make words be. Oh well, it's a starting point, hopefully following episodes will come out better.

New challenge thread is up! Do your job, Sov

The holiday season had been fun, and true to form, Sovellis had thrown himself into the festivities. Now, sitting by the fire in the inn's common room, he tried to recover from the consequences of his actions. Despite having slept until the afternoon, he still only got about 5 hours of sleep and so felt drained. He sipped his mug of hot coffee. Little light filtered in through the windows from the dreary, cold, winter day. Perhaps he should just go back to bed. The front door opened, allowing a chill breeze to swirl amongst the tables. The man who entered was wrapped in a cloak, but the armor he wore was visible beneath. It was recognizably Badroni style, a sash indicating he was an official agent of the kingdom. Being so far from the kingdom where he had pledged his fealty so long ago, this was the last thing Sovellis was expecting. Scanning the room, the newcomer's eyes stopped when they reached the elf and he stepped right up, giving a little nod. "SuleSuthrie Niallo, yes?" "I am." "Hetman RefSuthrie commands your immediate return to Sejabird Hill," the messenger stated simply, handing a letter bearing the Hetman's offical seal to Sovellis. Sovellis nodded, taking the letter. "You can tell him I have recieved his summons and will return as soon as I can." The messenger, seemingly satisfied, offered one last short nod, turned, and walked back out into the wintery evening. Letting out a long breath, Sov leaned back in his seat and opened the letter. The contents revealed little more than what the messenger had said, but the very brevity of the note was interesting. Could the Hetman be concerned about the message being intercepted? What had been going on since he had left the kingdom of Badronis? He shut his eyes and sighed. He was far too tired to head out immediately. That would have to wait until tomorrow. "Time to step up and fulfill your duties, Sov," he mumbled to himself. <------<<< Alright, time for another challenge. Definitely over indulged over the break, which is no surprise. I really want to buckle down and start living my life the way I want to live it this challenge. This means not making excuses to not work out or to put off working on my school stuff. I will be combating my fears and anxiety head on, utilizing an ACT therapy workbook. I don't know exactly how I'll be tracking things this challenge, but a daily post updating about everything I did is required. Also, daily update of the bank. Goal 1: 1 hour minimum of school work a day Goal 2: Bike/lift on alternate days Goal 3: ACT workbook Goal 4: Adulting This is a bit rough still, and I plan to tweak things as I go. I just really wanted to get something posted today, no excuses, right? Time for me to grow up and do the things I need to do. Period. This is the path I chose, and whining about the rock in my shoe doesn't get me any closer to my destination. Rawr! As for today's update, my sleep schedule is so completely messed up that I'm doing a hard reset. This means I am not sleeping until tomorrow night. It'll suck, but I'm not going to let myself use this as an excuse. I've already done my duolingo, pulled feeders for the snakes, and tried changing my bike tire so I could finally put it on the trainer. Unfortunately, I ended up tearing the tire. Grumble. I'll take it to a shop and have them do it. That means I can't bike, so I'll lift tonight instead. I'll also work in the ACT book and do some interview prep (interview is on Friday). I will also pull runes, and if my brain allows it I will read a while as well.

lol, omg, someone just tried to curse me on omegle. a self proclaimed witch who has been practicing an entire WEEK! lol Clearly her copied and pasted words are more powerful than my commitment to my gods and to this way of life that I've been living for years. wow baby pagans are such a pain in the ass! (usually, there are notable exceptions)

You know I'm up for rp pretty much any time. Esp with the holidays and some other stuff going on, dnd is gonna be a bit sparse, so I'll need to get my gaming fix somehow! lol

Alright, time to wrap up! I've been looking over my notes and such (I sorta log stuff on paper and then use that to update here), and it looks like I did better than I thought I did. It looks like I ended up completing my goals about 2/3 of the time, and my banking strategy has worked about half the time. As for the bank, I'm not too disappointed about this really, because even though it only worked about half the time, I learned from the times that it didn't. I now know that relationship issues are a big trigger for me, and that the day after I cash in some drinks is a high risk day. Knowing this, hopefully I'll be able to put safeguards in place and stick with the system better. I've decided to let myself level, and give myself 2/3 the points, so 10 to distribute. School, WIS (I guess): +4 Fitness, STA/STR: +2/+2 Self Care, CON: +2 I'm thinking about setting up a battle log thread to keep tracking stuff during the long break, because I do still need to keep up on things. Consistency is going to be a focus of my next challenge, as well as self image/ self confidence stuff, hopefully I'll have some inspiration for Sov's story. Hey Jym, wanna do a joint story?

Going off of the Tony Stark post, I actively avoid having my picture taken in poses that accentuate my hips. This is as close as I could come to a similar back shot: Very old pic, pretty out of shape, but it still sorta shows the proportions I generally try to hide. Not sure why I feel the need to show this, but whatever, transparency, right?!

Thanks, and yes, exactly. Like, starting with an email or a phone call or even a text would be better than random shipment of animal parts for my consumption. Though I will thoroughly enjoy their consumption.

Evidence that my body proportions are not weird/unattractive/unmanly/whatever. Hip to waist ratios are shit. #bodyimageissues

That dog, is it a tervuren?

It is really hard sometimes to not try to fix things. I should know, I'm training to become a therapist, what I'm supposed to do is fix people, right? lol But really, more often than not, people just want to be heard and understood. My specialty is actually in an approach to therapy that really takes this to heart, called non-directive therapy, where the therapist doesn't try to lead or instruct, but rather provide an understanding, empathic environment in which the client can more fully function. It sounds easy, but is actually insanely hard. As for my mom, I wish, but she's done this sort of thing before, more times than I can count. She thinks I make her look bad, so she tries to buy my compliance with material things. Sorry mom, but steak isn't enough to buy me into being straight, or christian, or pretty much anything other than making dinner. She has a long history of being manipulative and at times downright cruel. I have tried mending those bridges so many times, only to find there is no other side to the river at all. In the end, I have come to the conclusion that she is incapable of real affection or love. Too many years dealing with her toxic bs, I'm not going to put up with it any more. I am better off with her out of my life. Seriously, like measurably better. Heh, happy holidays, sorry for the mini rant.

... and my girlfriend just tried to defend my mother. I am so done.

On the heels of a great night, was a not so great night. Yesterday was a good day, productive, got all my stuff done, felt really good. Then my girlfriend got home from work, she did something that she's done before that really bothers me, and for once I decided to try this whole communication thing and actually talk to her, let her know that it bothers me. That blew up in my face like you wouldn't believe. Spent the entire evening trying to console her. Wtf. I was frustrated, bewildered, and felt like I was not allowed to have any needs in this relationship at all, so yeah, moment of weakness, last night was a cheat night. I got all my stuff done, but the bank is still empty (not going to charge myself overdraft fees or any of that banking bs). I am hoping today will go more smoothly, and it probably will, because I now know how incredibly unsafe it is to speak up about even the simplest things. I'll keep my mouth shut and get my work done. It'll be fine. Oh, and my horribly abusive mother, who I haven't spoken to in I think over a year at this point, is apparently sending me a box from Omaha Steaks for xmas. Why? Why does she do this? She doesn't like me, doesn't want me around, doesn't want to talk to me. She despises everything about me, and has been rather vociferous about that. Why does she pretend that we are still family? Why does she pretend she still cares? I am so confused, and kinda angry right now.

Yesterday was productive, if a bit aggravating. I did end up cashing in my bank, but that's okay, I'm allowed to do that (have to keep reminding myself of this), and when the bank was empty and I went to get another anyway, I was able to stop myself and make myself sit back down. So yay! And I have finally gotten an offer for an interview! Unfortunately it's from one of my throw away sites, and halfway across the country, and a phone interview. Ugh. But hey, I can't really complain. If it goes badly, I don't really want to end up there anyway, and if it goes well, I have a backup if the site I really want falls through. Win win! Even the runes seem to think I'm doing better finally. Let's hope I can keep this up.

Frustrating day. I got all my stuff done, but in the course of trying to help my girlfriend with her organization projects I guess I over stepped or something. She's been irritable and stand offish since and won't accept help. I am at a loss as for what to do now, because I kinda set aside a good chunk of the day to help her, in hopes that the apartment might be functionally livable again (and that I won't run into 5 different things on my way to bed). That will not happen now, and with my to do list done, I'm just kind of sitting here. I read a book for fun for a while, listened to spotify, had some mint tea. I can't do much until the chaos in the apartment is significantly reduced. Arg. Keep thinking that beer sure would help the evening pass, but I only have 6 banked so far. I guess I'll be playing skyrim again, and shimmying through a maze of boxes and piles of random stuff just to get to the bed. Grumble. Oh, and another rejection email today. Woo. At least I'm on top of my stuff for once, even if it doesn't seem to be doing any good.