Korra

CONGRATS!!

Came out openly last night. Literally no one was surprised, but I'm still proud of myself. Thank you all for your support and advice. I like the version of myself that isn't hiding

Hey me too!! Feels great, doesn't it?? To everyone who offered their coming out and being open advice, I really want to thank you. I just moved back in with my university roommate, who was the first person I came out to, and tomorrow we're going camping with our friend group, most of whom don't know. And my roommate really subtly led the conversation to let me know it would be okay if I came out to several important people. Which is really nice. So yeah. I'm going to do the thing and be brave and live my life the way that I want, namely, openly! It's going to happen

I have a question: for those of you who are out and open, how do you decide whether or not to come out to people who don't know? I've been playing it by ear, but I mean, if I run into someone I used to know and they ask about my relationships, do I just avoid the topic of my ex-girlfriend for simplicity's sake? I know everyone is different and each situation is different, but how do you all handle these kinds of situations? I'd like to be more open, but it's a little nerve-wracking. I don't even mind telling random strangers, it's just people who are or are likely to be a part of my life. I'm going camping with some old friends this week, and the topic is sure to come up due to our one relationship crazy friend; I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance.

I feel you on the bisexual label dislike (not bisexual people! I am one, and I like me). To me, the emphasis always falls on the biSEXUAL part, which frustrates me to no end. It's not all about sex! People are multifaceted! To that end, I like the term queer. It's ambiguous, but that's a plus.

LEVELLING!!!! Stat Point Allocation: Q1: Lose ten pounds = +2 CON, +1 DEX Q2: Workout 3x a week for a total of 18 days = +2 STR, +1 STA Q3: Do a full pull up = +1 STR, +1 CHA LQ: Get prepared for moving = +2 WIS Mid Challenge Summary: Q1: B (90%) Q2: F (30%) Q3: A (100%) LQ: ~B (80%) [moving got sped up by two weeks, hence the estimate) Challenge Allocation: Q1: +1.8 CON, +0.9 DEX Q2: +0.6 STR, +0.3 STA Q3: +1 STR, +1 CHA LQ: +1.6 WIS I am definitely rounding these numbers at least a little bit. Can't say I like the look of percentages! Anything over a five goes up, anything under goes down, and if it's exactly five, I'm pretty sure elementary school taught me it goes up? Is this accurate?

I remember being on a high for the first day or two after I figured out that I wasn't exclusively attracted to men, because finally my life made sense to me. Then I realized that I was going to have to tell my friends, and freaked right out. Not because I thought they would reject me or anything, but because of my perception of myself: was I friends with people I was attracted to? Would they feel like I'd become their friend under false pretenses? And it hurt me to think that maybe the reason I was friends with my friends was because I somehow wanted something more from them. I went from being a very affectionate and cuddly person to someone who didn't touch anyone, ever. One of my best friends let me go through all of this with her: I would complain about this girl that I liked and how unfair it was that I had to like girls (I think this was more of a defense mechanism? Like, if I didn't like the fact that I wasn't straight, then none of my friends would feel uncomfortable... right?). In retrospect, this was not the best approach, both because it's not true-I like who I am and who I'm attracted to-and also because if I didn't like it, how would she? But she just stuck with me while I processed all of these things, and in the end we became better friends than ever. I can't say that this is what your friend is going through, or if it's even similar, but hearing someone else's story might help you figure out how to be there for him. Really, just continue being his friend and affirming him as a whole person. The best thing for me was when I came out to my roommate. I was really worried about it, so I sat down and said, "Hey, I have something to tell you: I'm pretty sure I'm not straight." And she looked puzzled and said, "I thought we already knew that?" For her, it was just another part of who I am, not even the most important part, and I loved that. I'm more than just a label of bi or pan or queer or whatever, and so is he.

Thank you! I've been better on that front, and have been taking steps to make sure it doesn't happen again (support network, back in counselling, etc).

Still here! Still alive! Just have had extremely limited internet access in the last little while. In the most exciting news, I DID A PULL UP LAST NIGHT. It wasn't a full pull up (didn't start from hanging all the way down, chin was just at the bar, not quite over), so that goal hasn't been met yet, but it was the most amazing feeling to be hanging and MOVING MY ENTIRE BODY WEIGHT WITH ONLY MY ARMS. It was surreal. There was definitely a little bit of this going on last night I measured myself on Sunday, end of week 3, and these were the results: Weight: 175lbs Waist: 32" Hips: 39.5" Chest: 38" I've lost an inch off my hips and my chest (success!!) and half an inch from my waist (which was always the slimmest part of me anyway). And I'm down four pounds over a 3 week period, and have six to lose in the next three, which sounds a little bit extravagant to me right now, so I would be content if I continued this pace and dropped another 4-5lbs. My workouts have not been going so well. I really got derailed, though I have still been climbing. I'm not going to count it as working out (though it is tough!) just because that's not what my initial goal was and while I understand having grace for myself and failing, I also have to hold myself accountable for this one. So workouts = 0. My life goals have accelerated. I'm moving in three weeks, not five, so everything I have to do is suddenly very, very compacted. I don't even know where I am on this one. Moving is hard!

Coming from the same background (very Christian family and area), I've got to say that the fact that Pride exists, in all it's excessive glory, makes me incredibly happy and hopeful. I am going to my first pride this summer, and maybe the fact that I haven't been yet disqualifies me from really critiquing anyone's position here, but I'm really excited to be in a space where being queer is celebrated and not shamed. And the fact that Pride gives that kind of space to people (not to mention the history of it), makes it relevant and wonderful in my books.

So week two had mixed results. Bringing balance into your own life, as it turns out, is a difficult task! I spent five days of week 2 in full travel mode with all kinds of meetings every day, and my exercise schedule/sleep was not really able to cope. And then the last two days of my week were spent in a depressive funk. As in, Baby Korra faced off against the Red Lotus and was brought low, but will someday come back so much stronger and ain't nobody telling me differently. Q1: 177lbs (that's two pounds lost! At this point it doesn't look like I'll be losing a full 10, but at the same time, this is a sustainable result) Q2: 1/3 days Q3: No clue LQ: 1/3 Considering all that week two threw at me, I'm still a little bit proud of myself for doing even what little I got done. I'm refusing to buy into this whispering depression that says week two was a failure. Yeah, I didn't met my goals, but I can and I will do better next time, having learned what didn't work, and more importantly, depression is not my fault. Even though I could have bumped up my exercise goal score and even though I could have accomplished a lot more for my life quest over that weekend period, I have to accept that sometimes I can't do things, but I refuse to let this become a depressive spiral. It's finding that weird balance between accepting that I have a chronic illness that recurs periodically, and personal responsibility. Plus, seriously, I travelled and ate out for literally every meal, and I still lost weight. Guys, that's a win! So this is me today: BUT WE WILL PERSEVERE. Thanks, I appreciate the support! It's been rough, but I'm optimistic about this week going better.

Nice, that sounds pretty awesome school really forces you to expand like that, I hope you continue to enjoy it. I was kind of a jack of all trades, but personally focused on Shakespeare, fantasy, and creative writing.

Week 1 over. Baby Korra is overwhelmed by her job as the Avatar and all the travel said job entails. Before bringing balance to the world, she's gotta bring balance to herself. Hard numbers: Q1: there's no scale at this hotel Q2: 2/3 days Q3: 9 30lb rows (yay!) LQ: 2/3 So I'm travelling. My sleep schedule is shot. My job is all-encompassing. GAH. But there are positives! I missed my workout yesterday, but got right back on it today! There are many more temptations here than at home, and I've stayed strong! Salads, grilled chickens, stirfrys, etc. Difficult, let me tell you, when you are having a business dinner at a sports bar. So week one was a little rough. And week two is dominated by the travelling work things, so it will be also hard. But after I get through this, the next four weeks will look so easy in comparison

I second this. Coming out to myself was the hardest part (woo, denial). I was lucky in that my close friends were very accepting and I knew I wouldn't have to worry about their reactions. So that went well. Parents, less so, but I knew that going in. I just knew whatever their reactions, it would be worth it to be honest with who I am. But if I hadn't had a strong support base of close friends, it would have been much harder.

DUDE, cosplaying Korra is also a goal of mine! We should compare notes and make this happen. My favourite thing about Korra is that she's so often afraid and uncertain of how she's going to live up to being the Avatar, but fights things head on anyway and doesn't let those feelings control her. Good for you on cutting yourself some slack in a busy time. Next week you'll kill it.