Bleop

The surgeon took a deep, fat lymph node from my groin so I've got stitches in an unfortunate spot, right in a spot that makes any bending at the hip a bit uncomfortable. I may have to skip leg training until the stitches dissolve, or maybe just until next week. I'm also on a four different pills/antibiotics the size of small footballs (mild hernia and intestinal infection) so its probably a good idea to take it easy. Yesterday I trained back and shoulders. Seated narrow cable row - 3 workings sets of 15, 12, 10 DB lateral raise - 3 workings sets of 20, 18, 15 Pull-downs - 3 working sets DB shoulder press - 3 working sets DB rows - 3 working sets I would have liked to do more for shoulders but I felt like I was going to pass out.

I'm getting spit roasted this Thursday with one camera down my throat and another up me tuckus, and a quick groin lymph node biopsy while they're at it. Cancer symptom? She wouldn't say. The worryingly silent but admittedly good doc has instructed me to follow a very low fiber, low cal diet for the 3 days leading up to the day of admission, with the very day before consisting of nothing but Picoprep sachets and a date with Lulu the Lu. I'm also to remain relaxed (Ha! If she knew my mind...) and avoid exercise until then. Then, as if to hint her introversion as vampirism, she took 6 vials of blood from me in exchange for a hefty bill, during which I had a terrifying thought - Imagine having all of your blood drained from your body whilst you simply sit there and wait to pass out and die With all that said, I'm excited! Some hospital visits are like staying at a hotel, sleeping like the dead, waking up in better condition than I walked in with, a nice list of answers to the many questions that lead me there in the first place, and a bowl of jelly at my bedside. So this will be a prescribed "fast" blast. Maybe I'll get some fat out of it/of me.

Mozzarella. I don't know if its chock-full of chems or not, but I only use enough to make it interesting and I'm sure there are stranger things in the meat I eat.

I didn't train today because I was dead tired and my spinning partner/sis couldn't make it either. I calmed down a bit on the food today, having just four large chicken kebabs, one 6 egg omelette with bacon and cheese, and I'll be having 200g chicken livers and a big ass plate of veggies for dinner.

Bad day. Girl troubles. Enough said. I started the morning off with some back training. Wide-grip Pullups - 4 x body weight x 15 reps Narrow Hammer-grip Chinups - 4 x body weight x 15 reps Come evening I did 6 sets of 10 reps on the wide-grip pullups followed by a very light sparring session with a bunch of exhausted teenage feather weights who aren't willing to take advice. That didn't contribute much to my mood or total calories burnt. As for food, I broke fast with a meal far too large, sending me crashing into the foggy pits of digestion and insulin spikage. I had a 6 egg omelette with bacon, cheese and a large, fatty sausage. That lasted me all the way to 5:30PM when I had 120g brown rice and 3 whole eggs. Now, at 8:55PM, I've just chomped down on another 6 whole eggs with flax seed oil. So many eggs! Just love 'em Now, having just sparred and stuffed my face, I'm of course wiiiide awake and need to get up at 5:30. Stressful thoughts don't help much either. Damn brain...

Oh wow, so today I changed my diet quite drastically, bumping up both the total cals and switching to high fat/protein, and Cot dayum I feel like I've just smoked a joint or something! I actually feel... Good! I'm not sure on the total calories to be honest, but I can jot down exactly what I ate. Meal #1 - 4 whole eggs + 165g cauliflower wraps (with 10g protein per wrap I think they're more egg than cauliflower) + 2 tbs extra virgin olive oil. Meal #2 - Same as #1 Meal #3 - 500g skinless chicken breasts + 100g creamy mushroom sauce + 110g cauliflower wraps + 2 tbs extra virgin olive oil. Quickly adding that up it all comes to around.... 2760 calories Well, that explains why I feel so good. Hehe...he Is that even right? It didn't seem like that much food at the time. I forgot how easy it is to splurge. I'll have to watch myself! Hey Smaz, thanks I took a peek inside your log and it seems you're kickin' ass and well on the right track.

I'd say I'm a night owl. I feel energized by the night and the cool breeze that accompanies it, as if I'm an introvert by day and an extrovert by night. It just seems like there's opportunity and adventures to be had! No matter how exhausting a day I've had, I still find it difficult to fall into a natural sleeping pattern. I've been popping pills lately to knock me out because unfortunately I have a mouth to feed. My own. And like you, Rurik, I find my creative side exalts after sunset.

My short term goals for now are to make that final dash and slash away at a few more centimeters around my waist. Its measuring about 87cm in morning on an empty stomach. I'd like to get that down to 84cm. As I said in my rebel introduction, I used to weigh 120kgs, then yo-yo'd back and forth between that and 90kgs a few times, finally reaching 130kgs. I'm back down to 89-90 (height is 6'3") now and the long term goal is just to NOT inflate all over again. As cool as the idea of being a shape-shifter is, my body wants the hell out of that deal. I have no specific diet plan, but after eating ultra low calories for a while (1300-1500cals from mostly chicken, rice cakes and a ton of cauliflower) then switching to mostly brown rice with little fat and protein, my body seems to have given up on me. Muscles ache, libido is low, motivation is low, anxiety is high. I've switched back to a higher fat and protein diet with carbs consumed around my workouts only, and I've bumped my target calories up to 2000. I know that sounds low but I typically don't lose weight on anything higher and I'm worried that increasing calories too fast will just lead me back down the same path. Here is the weekly plan. Mondays - 7:30 AM) Back 7:30 PM) Muay Thai - 1 hour sparring Tuesdays - 06:15 AM) Shoulders 07:00 AM) Muay Thai - Fitness/Technique - 1 hour Wednesdays - 06:15 AM) HIIT Spinning Class - 45 minutes 07:00 AM) Hamstrings & Glutes Thursdays - 06:15 AM) Upper Body 07:00 AM) Muay Thai - Fitness/Technique - 1 hour Fridays - 06:15 AM) HIIT Spinning Class - 45 minutes 07:00 AM) Hamstrings & Glutes 07:30 PM) Muay Thai - 1 hour sparring Saturday - Upper Body (sometimes...) Sunday - Off

Hullo So a bit about me then, hu? Well, as far as fitness and weight loss/struggle goes, it all started when I turned 18 and immediately began the quest to rid the city of booze by apparently drinking it all. I gained a bunch of weight and my mother, who saw this and hoped I wouldn't stumble down the same path as my sister, deciced to buy me a gym membership for my 19th birthday. I didn't lose weight. Quite the opposite, in fact. With all the bodybuilding and powerlifting forums screaming "squats and milk!!!" at every newbie that rode in, I found myself following that advice a little too close to the letter. I still remember an old friend breaking himself with laughter when he used my toilet and found a couple of empty gallons of milk beside it. I clocked in at 120kgs by the time I was 20. In my mind I was hot stuff, but then one day I saw a picture of me and some mates at the beach and I realized I was just jiggly stuff. Vexed and haunted by that picture, I locked myself away for three months with a disturbing drive to lose the weight. And I did, and then life just got more complicated. I had a falling out with most of my best friends, met and fell in love with a girl I thought was the one, moved in together in another city and then a year and half later it all fell to pieces. I found comfort in food as so many do, and gained all that weight back, then lost it, then gained it back again plus interest. 10 extra kilograms of interest. So I was 130kgs(286lbs), sad and lonely. I'm 25 now and it still seems like I've spent the better part of my early twenties loosing weight and dealing with depression, anxiety and frequent panic attacks, which is something I've delt with most of my life. So thats kind of annoying! But I fluctuate between 88-90kgs now after taking a far more relaxed approach to weight loss. It took a bit longer but I've never been this lean before. Yet, despite that, I still don't quite feel comfortable in my own skin. Other than that, I love to read SciFi and a bit of Fantasy. I enjoy writing, playing the guitar, and I train in Muay Thai which contributed a bit to the most recent weight loss. Thats all for now. See ya on the boards!