spooky

I've spent all day in bed and I still feel icky but at least I've been keeping bland food down. I had lots of comfort from the kitties. They've been good about snuggling today. I love my kitties so much, they're just the best. They always make me smile. There is only one goal today, taking it easy and letting myself heal. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

I got home from Pilates and was greeted by a kitten. He sat on my stomach and purred. Best heating pad ever. Blasted Fleetwood Mac's Rumors while driving, love that album. I'm going to give myself a free pass to just focus of feeling better. Productivity isn't so productive if you feel like crap.

Thank you so much for this! I totally focus on the negative stuff too. I like the idea of allowing myself to feel something and using that as motivation to make positive choices. I have to be careful the pushing past something doesn't turn into just pushing it away. It'll just come back like a boomerang. Honestly I'm super impressed that you wore those pants in spite of feeling self conscious about them. That's huge! I almost always wear loose clothing because I'm so self conscious about my body. Even at my skinniest I hated wearing form fitting clothing because it made me feel mentally uncomfortable. Still does. I agree that self acceptance is the ultimate goal. It's hard to get there but it's so worth it. We can do it!

I'm with you on the stomach rebellion. It sucks but is also a good incentive to stick to healthier eating. You're doing great! Hope you feel better! Sending you good vibes

I braved breakfast and medication. Took the stomach meds but not going to take ADD meds. Had a small (palm sized) baked potato with a pinch of sea salt for breakfast. We'll see how I feel, for now it's okay. I think my body might be rebelling against the crap and spicy food combo from two days ago. Curry + stir fry + somewhat chemically frozen yogurt= unhappy belly. In other news my dad liked the gluten free bread so yay! I made this recipe without the food processor and it turned out great. Well I haven't actually eaten any, don't think flax is the best choice for an upset stomach. But good reviews from the other eaters in the house haha. I'm going to meditate before Pilates. Then I'll have plenty of time to work on the paper and water goals. Plus time to lay in bed like a lump.

Thank you . I got a cheap used copy of the Tao Te Ching and I carry it around with me. It helps bring good energy into my day .

Feeling ~40-50% better this morning but still off. Not sure if I should take my medication this morning with how unpredictable my stomach is right now. Problem is that one of the medications is for my stomach (omeprazole)... . Going to do Pilates today, heavy on stretching/recovery since I still don't feel too great. I don't really want to eat because I'm scared it will make me feel awful again. I can still accomplish most of my goals though, water/meditation/exercise can be done, and I can probably revise at least a sentence of my paper. We'll see how the day goes. Goals for the day: Exercise: Pilates Meditation Writing Water Mindful Eating (this one won't be a problem with shitty stomach feels)

Ugh. Serious stomach issues today. I've felt horrible (physically) all day. Just going to try and relax, drink water etc. Did not work on my paper, still cooked (eggplant mini pizzas and gluten free bread) but not so sure that was the best idea. Even apples made me throw up . Stomach issues completely incapacitate me .

Meditation complete (40 minutes) C25K complete (30 minutes) I moved on to week 2 of the program where you jog/run for a minute and half then walk for two minutes. It's amazing how my body has started to acclimate to running. Three weeks ago I couldn't get through 1 minute without lots of puffing. Now a minute and a half is hard but totally do able. Yay for progress. Lunch in the works then to slay the Paper Beast.

Yeah my dad took it out, ate and then probably fell asleep :/. Oh well. At least he likes my cooking ! And it was night so it was at least cooler out. It didn't spoil so that's the important thing. I did an extra long meditation session (40 minutes) this morning to get past the emotional ickiness and I feel much better. I think after my run I'll be ready to attack the Paper Beast. As far as figuring out the steps to Done, it's complicated by the fact that all the papers are roughly written, they just need to be revised. I think the critical thinking part is hard for me because it so easily devolves into plain old criticism. Maybe I need to think of it like coding (not that I know how to do that either...) and just make a goal of word chunks to revise. It doesn't need to be perfect, just good enough to be done. So that's my goal after doing my work out for the day. I do feel much better after taking care of the emotional turmoil by forcing myself to calm down. Meditation has been a great lesson for me because it sucked so much in the beginning but it got a lot better. And now I really enjoy it. Nothing is really as hard as my fear makes it seem.

Week 3 Day 2 Goals Exercise (C25K)MeditationWritingMindful EatingWaterWoke up in a bad mood . My dad left some stuff I made sitting out last night (stuff that needs to be refrigerated) and it really annoyed me. I'm trying to get over it. It's not something I can control. It already happened and I can't do anything to change it at this moment. I just have to keep moving forward. Moving past the bad feelings is so hard. Embrace the suck. See what the universe brings. I can only control what I do right now. UGHGHHGGHGHGHGHGHGHGH. Skipping coffee this morning for decaf tea. I can still make this a good day. *CONTROLED RAGE EXPLOSION ALSJF:JESOFHDOISHJFGNLNEOIAH:OGIBEB* actually that helped a little. I think I'm also frustrated about my papers and channeling that into a smaller incident. I need to make a step by step plan to finish the Paper Beast by the end of this challenge. It's totally do able if I don't give in to fear and anxiety. Right??? Right. today's inspiration (Tao Te Ching) 30 Whoever relies on the Tao in governing men doesn't try to force issues or defeat enemies by force of arms. For every force there is a counterforce. Violence, even well intentioned, always rebounds upon oneself. The Master does his job and then stops. He understands that the universe is forever out of control, and that trying to dominate events goes against the current of the Tao. Because he believes in himself, he doesn't try to convince others. Because he is content with himself, he doesn't need others' approval. Because he accepts himself, the whole world accepts him.

End of day inventory: Exercise: complete (1/7) 20 minutes of walking, 60 minutes of pilates (including jump board) Meditation: complete (1/7) 10 minutes Writing: worked on essay for 30 minutes, need to do creative writing before bed Water: 2+L complete (1/7) Food: Kind of all over the place today 1/2 cup of coffee (going to skip this for a while, coffee seems to increase my anxiety) 3 hard boiled eggs1 minneola1 string cheese20 grapes1 cup red lentil curry (homemade) 1/2 frozen yogurt (I <3 Menchi's this was a treat for sure, I brought half of it home) 1/2 banana1 carrot1 cup forbidden rice with 1 cup vegetable stir fry (carrots, spinach, cauliflower, sugar snap peas, zucchini, onion, shallots, garlic) Actually my food wasn't too bad today, just a bit heavier on carbs than I would like. well and the unplanned frozen yogurt treat but I can live with that. I've definitely cut back on carbs a lot though. Under my calorie goal for the day too. Need to balance my fruit intake with more veggies but I'm on the right track.

appealing to the creation realm

Sometimes Real Life gets in the way of self care and that's okay. The important thing is you got back at it today and did great! Persistence is the most important part of the equation and you've got that down . A minor warning on the water, you will have to pee A LOT and also it is possible to over hydrate . Otherwise you look ready to rock week three! (also the quote in your signature always makes me smile)

Thanks It was delicious! I will probably have it again for lunch today. My dad was like "strawberries in salad what is this madness?". My mom chimed in reminding him that Chili's (CHILI'S!!) has a salad with strawberries in it. Not so unusual haha! I had to take some of his "green stuff" (aka spinach and lettuce) . More for me I guess Thanks for the encouragement! The Paper Beast is looming large this morning. A little pin prick (aka starting) should deflate it back down to normal size. Right?? Can't wait to read about how your weekend went. We will rock week 3! I have to keep repeating that to myself when the Fear Beast (close cousin of the Paper Beast) gets the best of me. Embrace the suck.

Template for Week 3 Day 1 (switching up the order to reflect increased focus on areas of struggle) Water Mindful Eating Writing Exercise Meditation

Wow week 3 already? Week 2 Inventory: Exercise: (7/7), did something every day though I did skip yoga. C25k: (3/3) 90 minutes totalPilates: (2/2) 120 minutes totalWeight training : (1/1) 45 minutesWalking: (2/1) 80 minutes totalYoga: (0/1 )0 minutesWe'll call this an A-, 335 minutes or 5 hours and 35 minutes of exercise this week Meditation: (7/7), A for the week 140 minutes total or 2 hours and 20 min Writing: 6 days of work on essay, 5 days of work on story A for the week Water: Had trouble with this one this week.12.75 L of water consumed this week. A little under my goal. Still pretty good though. Skin is looking much better. B+ Mindful eating: struggled with this one this week but yesterday i didn't have any chocolate so I'm counting that alone as basis for a decent grade C+/B- Not too bad, need to pay more attention to eating and water this week but overall pretty good. Now to rock week three. If I keep pretending I'm competent maybe I'll feel competent

cookin steaks dinner (steak and strawberry salad)

making taro chips right now, we'll see how they turn out. I liked them in terra chips so I'm making my own . I have so many veggies to cook and I'm excited! As far as today's goals: I exercised (C25K) earlier. Meditation still to do, will probably do it before I go to bed, we'll see. I'm taking a day off of working on my essay/writing. I've met my goals for the week, and it's nice to have a day to relax. 1 more liter of water needed today Food has been minimal-ish: 1 protein bar, 1 carved turkey sandwich. No coffee today.

checking in to say hello! Can't wait to hear how your weekend went. You got this

this forever and ever

Mini challenge 2 completed!

Mini-Challenge Week 2: Signature updated (still need to figure out my attribute points) joined (well...lurked) an accountability group, following + supporting wanderbound, Jennilovesryan, CarismaUMD (lurking and commenting on more too).

Daily Template Exercise: C25k Meditation: Writing: Water: Mindful Eating: Quote of the day: "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door" -Milton Berle

Early Evening Inventory Exercise: Weight lifting 40 minutes, 20 minutes cardio. Had a hard work out today. (6/7) Meditation: 40 minutes, complete (6/7) Writing: Worked on essay and creative writing (5/3) Mindful eating: Definitely some bored-I-just-want-something-to-taste eating today, but all healthy stuff. I like drinking the cocoa but maybe I just like eating my calories more . Should be drinking tea instead. Food today: 2 hard boiled eggs, 1 cup cocoa(with milk and butter), 1 minneola, 1/4 cup dried cranberries, 2 oz pepperoni, 2 pieces of cantaloupe. I can make the cocoa without the butter and get my fats elsewhere. Mega steak salad tonight. Delicious. water: 1.5L down (completed this later at night) I went to the market and got a bunch of meat and healthy food. I love going to the market! There is something soothing about markets and drugstores to me. Probably because everything is (mostly) usually in the same place. Learning to love discomfort is definitely my next major goal.