spooky

thank you! i was able to beat the writing block, now it's just about better managing my stress in general

HEY EVERYONE. wow it's been a busy couple of days, i'm gonna pop back in tomorrow for individual replies, but i'm about to fall asleep :/ but its so nice to see all of you and i'm hoping to have time this week to take a look at other people's challenges. i know i tend to overcommit to online presence sometimes so i'm trying to be mindful of that. very brief reflection on the last week: -feel good about joining the challenge again! -mediation has been happening daily, including today. i have two 10 min breaks at work and i find a quiet room for one of them specifically for mediation. so i'm trying to build that into my day -one indulgent thing: got myself mediterranean food on saturday just because i felt like it. -writing with a friend saturday went really well! i'm unblocked and writing without editing again, which means my flow is a lot better. sunday was a lot of meal prep. since it's just my mom and i, i prepare individually portioned meals for the week. this week was lentil soup, pasta with broccoli and sun-dried tomatoes, lemon garlic chicken w/ roasted carrots, brussels sprouts, and broccoli. diet/weight are not my concern atm. i'd like to clean up some of my dietary things (there's probably been too much sugar lately) but given my history with eating disorders, i think making sure i'm in a good mental space first is more important. i'm at...i'm gonna say a healthy weight probably, i haven't weighed myself in months. last time i weighed myself i was a bit underweight but i think i've gained since then. my clothes fit and i'm trying not to obsess about numbers. overall the first mini/partial week is looking good and my daily goal of meditation happened

bit of a weird mood tonight, stressed but it's just ambient stress and self judgement. which means writers block. meeting up with a friend tomorrow for coffee and a writing session, hopefully that helps. going to do a bit of meditation before bed and also before coffee tomorrow. my jaw is super tense, so i can feel that i've been holding on to a lot of stress.

thank you! i'm excited to be back. and if i learned anything about myself it's that small, achievable, is definitely the way forward

hello friends, it's me, back again, hanging out over here: https://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/113087-spooky-figures-shit-out/

hello!!!! i won't be participating in the doodlies challenge but i did set up a challenge thread, to try and get things sorted

just popping in for a quick hello! [emoji3590]

hey guys, it's been awhile, huh? 2018 was a really tumultuous year for me. i graduated from university! finally! but it was overshadowed when my father unexpectedly passed away a week before the ceremony. i'm doing the best i can, and i'd like to get my life moving in a better direction. but simple and achievable is what i want so: -1 minute of daily meditation -weekly reflection -1 thing that's solely self indulgent per week. this is a way to help me find a happier equilibrium, i'll see how i'm doing at the end of the challenge and either find new goals or repeat these ones if i feel like it's the best call. simple, small, sustainable self care. that's the goal

where's the lie though? actual goal of this challenge: treat myself like my cats. when my cats do something wrong or make a mistake i don't judge them. i treat them with kindness and deal with the results of whatever just happened. so...the same goes for me. also, taking things one at a time. cats aren't stressing about things that may or may not happen. they just do whatever is in front of them I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO CHANGE THIS CHALLENGE AS IT IS 12:40 AM. but i think the sentiment is right. measurable ways of doing this...is one of tomorrow's goals. gotta do a 2017 reflection in my last challenge and then, 2018 i'm so ready for you.

thank you, maegs <3 amen to that. it was...a lot of writing. but i did it! Thanks, Ensi <3 I took some time to enjoy hot chocolate and cuddle with my other cats. it helped a bit. i think trying to be gentle with myself is the way to go. it's hard but worth it. thanks, shello <3 it was, it's been a rough end to the year. but i think it's time to look ahead and see what i can do. thank you! <4 Thanks, Emma! I cried...a lot. On and off all day. I still get sad and expect to see him while doing normal things. imposing structure on myself can be so difficult! i have a tendency to get sidetracked. thank you x2! <3 thanks, heidi <3 rest and tea and tears were the game plan. i just had to let myself be sad, and i'm sure i will in the future too. it's been a rough ride, there have been good things so i may do a post trying to make a list of them. but i'll be glad to welcome 2018.

jury duty today. i wouldn't mind so much if i could use my laptop while they're doing selection but it's not allowed in the courtroom. handwriting it is. 2017 had one more gut punch in store for me, we had to euthanize my oldest cat, lucky, on saturday. he was diabetic and while we were able to manage it for a long time, but he'd gotten really frail recently. my parents were just hoping he'd have a good enough quality of life for long enough for me to make it home. but he wasn't able to stand on saturday to go to the bathroom, lost control of some of his bodily functions, and he was refusing food. he'd been moving around fine the day before and eating really well so it was just...a lot. i think this was a fairly successful challenge seeing as i got through my utterly packed finals schedule. adjusting to being home again has been difficult, since i don't have the sort of structure i do at school but it's been better the past couple of days. be by later

I WILL BE HERE LATER

i made it through the finals meat grinder and then needed a few days to just...sleep basically. today's the first day i've been somewhat productive, though the qualifying "somewhat" is definitely apt. more to come tomorrow!

Thanks shello! this is true ahaha. good point I MADE IT THROUGH FINALS BLESS. universe, pls find ur chill, asap thank you! i made it through finals and i'll have to take a look at hollins!

This Week:

Long time no check in. I barely slept from Sunday night through Wednesday so it's been pretty much sleep recovery mode since then. I'm hopefully starting to get back to being mostly awake today. we had elections on friday and i got the position I wanted, which is out of house chaplain. essentially, i'm an emotional health officer for the society and i've been thinking of ways I can help people feel supported without putting the pressure on them to reach out. because sometimes actually asking for help is the biggest obstacle. i have two take home writing finals and one that's a sit in short answer thing. So i'll be starting on those today and tomorrow. I think i've got the vet thing figured out but I will need to call a couple places on monday to make sure. but i have options and i know at least one of those places absolutely has appointment times. still very sleepy but trying to be okay with it since there was so much sleep deprivation earlier this week. hopefully i'll have a more detailed check in later today when the coffee kicks in a little more.

I'll send you a message!

I'm interested in the Iowa Writers Workshop! i've heard a lot of good things. but i'm interested in UC Irvine and a couple others as well.

the it's-almost-3am-update: Done: -Finish Romantic Poetry Reading Response -Artists Statement (45 min) DONE -Reading Response for Portfolio (30-45 min) DONE -Villarosa Essay (30-45 min) DONE -Revise poetry response Steps taken on other things: -Nailed down three act structure for story 1 revision -Nailed down three act structure for story 2 Still To Do: -Finish Story 2 -Finish Story 1 revision. -Finish drafting essay So I think having the structure was a huge part of revising for me, and I've got a sense of the scenes I still need to finish plus bits of dialogue and exposition that came to me while planning. I think I'm going to see if I can write a bit more of my essay draft and then sleep. I have a feeling that from right now until Wednesday night is going to be....very little sleep. Fun Times.

Progress update on The List (hahaha): Done: -Finish Romantic Poetry Reading Response -----> DRAFTED. needs to be revised but that shouldn't take more than 20-30 minutes and having it written is big! -Artists Statement (45 min) DONE -Reading Response for Portfolio (30-45 min) DONE -Villarosa Essay (30-45 min) DONE Still To Do: -Finish Story 2 -Finish Story 1 revision. -Finish drafting essay -Revise poetry response So going forward, because "revision" and "finishing" are sort of nebulous goals, I want to try and think about what concrete steps I can break these down into.

WOW I REALLY SHOULD. i love hockey games as background noise tbh

hey hey it's Sunday! I was definitely more productive yesterday. Am I where I hoped I'd be? No. But I got most of my reading for Monday and Tuesday done (just one more essay to read) drafted half of one of my essays, got close to finishing my second story draft, and started drafting my response paper. So I made progress on a lot of things! I have so many assignments that are due Wednesday that making sure I make progress on those now is extra important. So, here are my goals for today: -Finish Romantic Poetry Reading Response (~500 words, should take about 1.5-2 hours. This is what it usually takes me since these are short argumentative papers/analyses) -Finish Story 2 (approx 1 hour? I only have to more big plot moments to write as far as I have it right now) -Finish Story 1 revision. This has at least 3 scenes I still need to add. I want to prose outline them at the very least. That way at least plot matters will be handled and then I can focus on language over the next few days (time estimate: ???? maybe 1 hour for prose outline, more to finish writing it in full) -Artists Statement (45 min) -Reading Response for Portfolio (30-45 min) -Villarosa Essay (30-45 min) -Finish drafting essay (1 hour, based on the fact it took me 1 hour to write half of a rough draft yesterday) it's a lot but do-able if I use my time well and actually focus during the periods I'm working. this would put me in great shape for this week. I would have all of my tuesday reading done so I can focus on the essay revisions and story revisions tomorrow night. tuesday i'll have some more poetry reading but that'll be the only additional piece and that doesn't take that long. *cracks knuckles* i'll be checking in !

THANKS ENSI <4 honestly writing that critique was incredibly entertaining haha. thanks, maegs <3 IT FELT REALLY GOOD. it also helps that my professor was wonderful and supportive throughout the whole thing. he's going to advise my senior project next semester and i'm very excited. we've also chatted about MFA programs because he went to the one I've been thinking about for a while and it's been really helpful!

i didn't get anything on my list done/finished but i worked on my first story pretty intensely. the plan is to wake up early tomorrow and camp out in the library for a bit. i'm still doing a bit tonight but if i beat myself up for not sticking ot my plan then i'll get overwhelmed and get nothing done. so i have to accept what i did do and then go from there. remain flexible. i did still work on something I needed to today. so i'm trying not to lose sight of that.