spooky

Sending lots of good vibes your way, the universe needs to find its chill, but until then, you've done an amazing job finding yours even in the midst of a ton of obstacles. 

what sort of stories are you submitting for publication? (i'm 100% cheerleading this, and it's also inspiring for me). 

I love the dress, and it looks fantastic on you. 

Most of all, I love seeing you dealing with what comes while always reaching for the things you want. 

<333

32 minutes ago, Ensi said:

Ohh you handled the Drama(tm) like a queen x__x And your teacher sounds awesome!

 

... I would be very interested to read the text, please :>

 

The most accurate gif tbh

I'll send you a message now!

My To Do's. This got long so...spoilered. I have a lot to get done this weekend so that I'm in good shape during the week. I will be working in small pomodoro sprints because I don't need to spend as long on everything as my brain convinces me I need to. Take baby steps every day, get things done gradually rather than all at once. I want to check in quite a bit today so I keep myself on task. But also so I remember to take breaks. 

This Weekend:

The Week Ahead: 

Just thinking things: 

IT'S DECEMBER. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???

Anyways, I got a bit caught up in the rush of the week but I'm here! I don't have any classes on Fridays so I'll be doing a lot of productivity sprints and general life housekeeping. That's what my weekends end up being most of the time. I did use yesterday to mostly catch up on sleep though, which I needed. And then I had dinner with a friend which was really nice. We went over a big Drama(tm) thing that happened this week, details below: 

Got some essays back, did really well on one, pretty well on another. I'm going to put upcoming stuff in another post because this is my reflection bit, and the next will be "moving forward." 

On 11/25/2017 at 10:48 AM, NeverThatBored said:

Wow, that is QUITE a week. 

Yeah it was certainly...something. But I'm getting by, and getting my stuff done. That's all I can really ask. 

On 11/26/2017 at 1:46 AM, Ensi said:

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother passing. As for toughening up: You have a whole lot more going on than I currently do...! As in, things you don't have that much control over. I've had stress during the past few weeks, but I've been mostly in control of what's going on. You've done wonderfully with getting everything done - just allow yourself time to take it easy. No need to be a trooper here: get help, if you can! Ask for the extensions for papers, if you need them  My toughening up isn't as much about blocking the pain out, but it's all about embracing it - I try not to shy away from uncomfortable feelings, like I have in the past. I've had this thought that being uncomfortable and struggling means that I'm doing something wrong, or that I'm stupid/weak. Just remember to stay open and allow people to help you

 

You're always welcome to PM me, if you need to talk about anything! I'm only partially Ron Swanson, so...

 

 

... even if he isn't interested, I am 

thanks for that, Ensi. I do think sometimes i let myself get worked up about small things, so it's more that I want to try and put certain events in perspective. Still acknowledge them, but also remember that I've found my way through worse. 

I will definitely take you up on the PM <4

On 11/26/2017 at 4:00 AM, deftona said:

What a stressful week, Spooky. I'm very sorry about your grandmother. <4

thanks, def <4. it was....a lot. there's a really bit about it though where i feel like the compressed time frame forced me to deal with it sooner than i might have otherwise. so i sort of had to deal with the feeling as it came, acknowledge it, and keep going. like there wasn't time to put it off. 

On 11/26/2017 at 7:01 AM, Heidi said:

This right here is what being a Druid is all about.

Lots of love to you, @spooky. I understand the grief and am holding your hand through these days of Balance and Acceptance.

You are doing very well indeed. 

 

The house and chores will get sorted.

Much love,

H

thank you so much, Heidi. As I saw this week, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to be here Monday-Thursday since that's when all my classes are and I get caught up in the rush (though that probably means checking in here is more important) but I'm still making it a goal to check in throughout the challenge. And to be kind to myself if I don't check in every day, but still make an effort to check in here when I can. This is supposed to be something to help myself, not another source of guilt. 

house is cleaner but there's still work to be done. i'd like to do 10 minutes or so of cleaning every day, but finals are coming up so those are my primary priority. 

<333

On 11/26/2017 at 7:04 AM, Heidi said:

You can't edit what you don't write.

 

Let it be awful, as long as you write it.

THIS IS TRUE. I have a full draft of one story, but it needs significant revision (which i've made headway on) and the other one I have plotted and will be finishing my draft today. My portfolio is due wednesday, so I'll be putting in a lot of extra work this weekend!

get it written, and then get it good

On 11/26/2017 at 10:41 AM, Terah said:

I'm sorry about your grandmother  

((hugs))

thanks, Terah <4. 

She as 96 and had a long life. She travelled the world and remained independent until the end. I think her quality of life had declined so much in the last year that she was just ready. I just wish I could have been there. 

On 11/26/2017 at 2:03 PM, DrFeelgood said:

You have my fond wishes and prayers, spooky.  May your grandmother's memory be a blessing.

Thank you <4. She was a special person and I'm glad I got to know her as well as I did. 

On 11/27/2017 at 10:40 AM, LadyShello said:

What a week Spooky.  Sorry to hear about your grandmother.  

Thanks Shello <4. It's a bit easier to deal with now, with some time. I'm sure I'll visit her as soon as i get home. 

Big things: 

• what to do with Nancy 
  • either find someone to take care of her/stop by over break
  • or figure out how to fly with two cats, one who is an ESA and one who is...not currently an ESA (and might not be able to be one? i'm really not sure. this was not planned)
• local vets (need to do this very soon!)
• writing portfolio due december 6th
  • speaker reflection
  • revision
  • finish 2nd story
  • artists statement
• story submission due december 4th
• healthcare enrollment
• CLEAN YOUR HOUSE

Today's things:

• write more of second story (literally if you spend 30-45 minute that is fine, just some time!)
• start revising 1st story (ditto the above! don't feel like you need to spend all day or it doesn't count!)
• read 3 keats poems
• tbd, some cleaning i hope
• today is probably a good day to actually use your bullet journal on the weekend, self. 

7 hours ago, Ensi said:

I I really like the idea of toughening up. I don't want to perform well only under perfect circumstances - I want to be that person who adapts, survives and thrives, no matter what life has in store. 

Ensi posted this in her challenge and I'm thinking about it a lot this morning. Especially in the context of my life these past couple of weeks. 

It's been a pretty tough time personally. Two weeks ago I had a Wednesday through Tuesday that was just...absolute hell. A constant stream of small and big things going wrong. in chronological order below the cut:

if you read that list...it was A Week. somehow i still got all my homework done and found time to be sad. under some of the shittiest circumstances i managed to deal with being overwhelmed and accomplish the things i needed to. is my house currently a mess? absolutely. am i overwhelmed with work? you bet. but...clearly i've figured it out at other points. i honestly don't know what this post is doing other than providing myself a reminder. 

i've got a lot to do today and tomorrow so i'll be trying to think through that in my next post. just a heads up that that's probably a lot of what's going to happen in this thread. me, working through things. 

7 hours ago, Ensi said:

It was definitely a good mental boost, as well. I really like the idea of toughening up. I don't want to perform well only under perfect circumstances - I want to be that person who adapts, survives and thrives, no matter what life has in store. So, from now on, I will take a short dip in the ice cold sea from the ship every morning  Winter is here, and the sea be cold and unpredictable! I hope you will all have a strong weekend

i love this <3.

and i'm going to think about it during my challenge because man is it timely. 

On 11/23/2017 at 12:02 AM, DrFeelgood said:

 

The Kings were my first team and they'll always have a place among the top of my list, but I'd have to move to L.A. for them to take top spot (over the 'Hawks) and that will almost certainly never happen.

 

But I am also now conflicted in that the Chargers (awk, spit) are dead to me and I was missing a hometown connection.  But the San Diego Gulls have resurrected themselves as the AHL affiliate of the Ducks, and I was fortunate enough to attend (fifth row, home corner boards) their recent shootout win--on Star Wars night no less--over the Tucson Roadrunners.  So now my list starts with:

 

- Blackhawks

- Gulls (AHL)

- Kings

- Quad City Mallards (ECHL)

- Stars

- Ducks (only by extension)

 

I understand the tenuous position this puts you in, and I accept that you may well consider me to be legitimately insane; but I hope this doesn't preclude you from posting dancing gifs in my thread when called upon.

 

Also, I'm softening on the Flyers because @Sylvaa is so flippin' cool.  Who even am I anymore?

ah yes, your Hawks allegiance. well that rivalry isn't quite as bad as it was a few years ago and since you're a doodlie i GUESS i can let this slide

AHL GAMES ARE GREAT. so much fun! it's cool to see prospects come up through the system *cough* when your team doesn't trade them for rental veterans *cough*

as for the flyers...i'm interested in what they've been doing with their young d-corps so there's definitely some casual interest on my end haha

On 11/23/2017 at 12:22 PM, Ensi said:

 

Just remember to book in some rest days. They're super important for ze mental health!

 

I'm taking trigonometry and probability classes. After finishing them, I will probably be able to tell if some shape is a triangle or not.

Ah yes, rest days! i took one wednesday and some of thursday . of course now with two days of weekend staring down at me and not that many of my assignments done i'm starting to feel Regret (tm). 

On 11/23/2017 at 8:30 PM, maegs said:

Spooky!

How was the cake you made?

maegs <3! it was good! i didn't have solid chocolate and i used extra cocoa powder with sort of messed with the texture a bit but it was still tasty

On 11/24/2017 at 12:48 AM, NeverThatBored said:

SPOOOOOOOOKY!! Hello!! Welcome back!! 

NTB!!! HI!!!! thank you! <3

2 hours ago, Ensi said:

Phew! That's a lot of studies  I hope you find the energy to enjoy them! I'm currently on two math courses, and I have a lot to learn. I try not to think about the amount of all the assignments too much, I just try to learn one thing at a time. Enjoy your Thanksgiving turkey!

it's a lot so small steps are key! i want to enjoy my thanksgiving but i also...feel the need to start some homework today  

what kind of math courses are you taking?

thanks ensi! I hope you have a lovely day. 

oh just other whatever:

i've been using a bullet journal for school this semester. i really like it, but i'd like to make more of an effort to write out what i'm doing in a day even when i don't have classes. something about the structured "must do" of classes inspires me to think through the rest of my day. so i'll be trying to think through that in this challenge. 

one thing that's not so good: i've been really bad about prioritizing eating. i've gotten good at having a quick breakfast (generally yogurt with granola since it's super easy, sometimes cereal, or eggs if i have time) but lunch is...not great, and sometimes i don't end up eating dinner till 8+ hours after i have breakfast. i've been packing a little snack box in my backpack some days (cheese, crackers, dates, pumpkin seeds, sometimes a bit of fresh fruit) and i'm thinking of adding a savory one with veggie sticks, hummus, and hardboiled egg(s). but it's been an issue. when i got sick with a stomach thing earlier this semester they insisted on weighing me at the health center and it wasn't great. but i also know the more i think about that part the more likely a relapse is. so if i can try to think of food like...homework, or something that i need to do as just a task/to-do than maybe i'd be able to be more consistent. 

on that note: today's food was a mess. no breakfast, weird junk food snacking, and then hot chocolate. which i am currently drinking. i don't want to think about food all the time but i want to make better choices so the struggle is real. 

school things that need to happen over break:

• Terrence malik film essay
• pick up Paratexts from the library (probably can wait until after break)
• romantic poetry response
• revise short story, finish other short story
• brainstorm queer times essay
• reading
  • keats
  • queer times (four readings)
  • 3-d film
  • story workshop critiques

There's a short story prize and submissions are due december 4th. i have nothing to lose by submitting, and class portfolio's for my fiction class are due the 6th so...that's something i need to do tomorrow around cooking. 

yay school....ha ha...ha...

(it always looks like a lot listed out. this is what happens when you take four writing intensive classes)

9 hours ago, Heidi said:

HI HI HI, @spooky!

*tacklehug*

glad to see you again.

HI HI HI!!!

*hugs*

glad to be back!

it looks like you ended up getting a lot done, but the real victory was leaning into a feeling and finding your way there without pressure. #goals. 

8 hours ago, LadyShello said:

I had to buy them when I saw them but it was the middle of last challenge so I never opened them.  It made me feel better to buy them even if I put off eating them but now I am not finding a good time to open them.  I'm pretty sure they will not survive the weekend though.  Unless they're gross... then they'll live in the cupboard with the Mystery flavored (Fruit Loop) Oreos for eternity. 

a couple (?) months ago i saw swedish fish flavored oreos. which tbh, just sounded like a terrible idea

8 hours ago, DrFeelgood said:

 

And the Year of Resurrections rolls on!  Awesome to have you back, spooky.    I need a refresher regarding your NHL teams since my support list recently changed.  Are we allies or frenemies?

LA KINGS 4 LYFE

*whispers* choose your allegiances wisely, dr. f....

I went to the grocery store today since all the meal options on campus are closed for the holiday. thankfully i have a full-sized kitchen with a fridge, freezer, oven, stove, and a microwave. and cooking skills.

i've been doing a little writing this evening. and i napped after shopping. i wasn't great with my sleep this past week (why did my professor make my essay due at 11am on a sunday WHY) so it was time well spent. I'll probably try to get to bed by midnight (sadly, this is early for me, insomnia has been a factor) and then have a solo thanksgiving tomorrow. well me + cats. who are great company. i mentioned i'd adopted my neighbor's cat and she's sitting in my lap right now

i bought a turkey breast which is about 3lbs so definitely fine for one person. and i'll have leftovers!

i'd like to make butternut squash gratin and roasted brussels sprouts. maybe mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes but i'm also trying to remember i'm one person HAHA. and i like leftovers but i also like variety. 

a pre-emptive happy holidays to everyone!

18 hours ago, DrFeelgood said:

Spooky!  So glad you're not a ghost.

HI!! I am very much corporeal and glad about it!

17 hours ago, deftona said:

Yay Spooky! Great to see you  

YAY DEF! Great to see you too! <4

13 hours ago, Terah said:

Spooky!!!!

Glad to have you back <4

And smut already.... I 'm impressed

Terah!!! i'm so glad to be back! i made my return with style smut

8 hours ago, Ensi said:

This is weird...! Just two days ago, I thought to myself, "where's Spooky? I hope she's doing OK." And now you're here  Welcome back!!

universal synchronicity! and here i am! summoned  thank you, i'm so glad to be back! <4

8 hours ago, Heidi said:

Always a good time, here!! 

 

So glad to hear about school, the space, the funds! It sounds as though you're set up well. I know there are plenty of obstacles to navigate.

 

Keep posting!

thanks! it's been really great to back, and i've been loving my classes. definitely some obstacles but i'm not overwhelmed to the point of being incapacitated, which was the goal of medical leave so success! 

i'll be around  

6 hours ago, Emma said:

Spooky!

Glad you're back.

thanks emma! 

5 hours ago, Korranation said:

WELCOME BACK SPOOKY!!!

thanks korra!

5 hours ago, JessOfAllTrades said:

Welcome back!

thanks jess!

i feel like i just got a big internet hug 

HIIIIIIII. you did AMAZING. and i'll be keeping an eye out for your next challenge

HELLO FRIENDS I AM BACK AND YOU CAN FIND ME HERE SHOULD YOU WISH

/slides in with support

*reveals self as a stow away*

hello Ensi! <4

*slides in in her socks*

I'M HERE

AND I'M SO READY

*sighs in contentment*

inspiring as always, heidi!

Just now, LadyShello said:

It certainly didn't take long.


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something something quick to the draw something something 

cc: @SomeGuyFromScotland

2 minutes ago, LadyShello said:

Tits (almost) out in Spooky's thread.


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MY THREAD HAS ARRIVED.