spooky

i gotta get myself in gear tomorrow and call my psychiatrist to see if i can get a same day video appointment, i've been having passive suicidal thoughts again so uh.....mental health is my focus rn

new challenge is up!

i want to do a taoist inspired challenge, something centered around mindfulness and the middle way. i've found taoist philosophy inspiring for years, and with everything going on in my life, i desperately need to find my center. there's a book i read that contained the phrase "return to trueness" and that's exactly the vibe i'm going for with this challenge. taking time to check in, to be my authentic self. my adhd has been out of control hard to deal with, returning to the present moment and being mindful of distractions (both helpful and not) is a good way to help manage my stress and anxiety. i've been reading some articles about adhd management so i'd like to try and incorporate a tip a week. but ultimately this challenge is about staying present and listening to my mind and body. 1. mindful reading: read a page of the tao te ching every day 2. mindful reflection: daily to do list 3. mindful breathing: daily meditation 4. mindful body: continue with the doctor follow ups, trying to figure out the cause of my exhaustion and headaches LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!

bloodwork looks healthy, still working on figuring out what's going on, trying to get a physical appointment. giving myself a level up for this challenge since the exhaustion and headaches are really taking up a lot of my time and energy. will see everyone next challenge, link to come soon!

going to go get some blood tests this afternoon, literally so tired of being perenially exhausted

thanks shello! it's been an ongoing thing so i'm trying to get a doctors appointment this week, i have one in july but it's really interfering with my ability to do...anything...so to the doctor it is

I had my birthday this week along with migraines and chronic fatigue. Addressing this is going to be the focus of my next challenge. But I'm still here for the rest of this one so it's about making the best steps i can in the time i have left, and then planning wisely for the next one. And also not totally peacing out because I don't feel well.

okay i did an hour and a half of my course today so yay me!

okay i got up and showered this morning, went to the market, ran the dishwasher, helped with laundry, and have been playing genshin. that little sense of momentum helps. gotta sweep next, and do some of my course, which i've been willfully ignoring the past couple of days. still feeling overwhelmed but reminding myself procrastinating makes this feeling worse inspiration: It is never too late to be what you might have been. -george eliot

brain has been in rebellion mode the past couple of days. had to sleep to get myself out of an axiety spiral earlier today. playing genshin to distract myself.

<333

feeling very overwhelmed. just taking deep breaths.

did my course, been a lump all day otherwise. it's okay. each day is different. i did meditate! daily inspiration: What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

<3333 you always say the right thing

also i'd like to get around to more people's threads after the meetings tonight, it depends on how exhausted i am tbh. but i should have some more time tomorrow!