Morag

RPGs (mostly pen&paper, but not exclusively) have been a massive part of my life for two decades. I mean I did marry my Shadowrun GM just over 18 years ago and we are raising children together. Sure we broke up a little while back, but thats just us coping with each of us changing. He's not a bad person. He really isn't. So. I'm to pick up the mantle of GM this week. I am working through Easter Weekend and after that I have most of the month of April off work, because I am lucky and blessed. Vacation-time for the win. The garden is calling me, or is that me jonsing after some green-therapy, either way, that'll happen. Plus some posture practice to get my back issues under control... lots of good pt happening.

Morag slinks in, looks around, eyes going wide for just moment, sighs just enough to alleviate some of the chaos-induced stress. "Hey Everyone", she greets the room at large. Then wanders around the room a bit until she finds one of those comfortable chairs she's sat in for years when she when she had taken a breather between or during her adventures in months past. Hey guys, been a while. "Barkeep, a round, it's been too long. Don't forget to pick a drink yourself as well."

Some. Not as much as I'd like.

I'd like to get into this. Mental conditioning is just the thing.

Hugs! Hope you feel better soon. I so get the annoyance with that fragility, hugs and more hugs!

Hey fellow rebels, so I typed in "r" into the tag list while thinking about which tags do apply and it gave me the option to add druid, and I went straight to "naaaahhhh I'm not a druid!" but then I kept thinking about it, and maybe that knee-jerk reaction is old info? I have been a Ranger from the very first challenge way back years and years ago. I added the barbarian when I followed my crush and did meet the barbell for the first time and it was love at first sight. But in the last... year - year and a half - my life changed so very much. And I have gotten a garden allotment and I tasked myself with taking good care of this piece of land. So maybe Druid, as in steward of the land, is a thing I'll endeavour to incorporate more actively and more consciously into my life. Yes, there's the pandemic, but everyone has to deal with that. But my life changed, a lot, and not (just) because of the pandemic. My husband and I did separate in June 2019, first family vacation EVER July 2019 camping with the kids, just the 3 of us for 5 days. I started at a new job and joined a gym in September 2019. Spend days and days on the ice rink with the kids January 2020, started looking for a garden February/March 2020, the world started to go mad in March, I signed a lease for a garden allotment in April/May 2020. My garden. It's not all that has happened, obviously, and people deal with all kinds of shit everywhere, but I feel like my desire to connect with the land, spend time with my kids outside yet not around random people... that's a thing. The tendency to not go outside, because out there be monsters, it's not healthy, the goal for this coming year, and I am potentially heavily applying the Never Not Twice In A Row rule, I want to be in the garden with my kids every day from March to September (at least). We've spent the entire last week cleaning up the shrubbery and trees and did the cuts and things, we have a lot of wooden things lying in a huge pile on the yard now, but we'll cut the smaller stuff down in the next weeks and sort the thicker branches away after that. I have seeds in germination module trays over-taking my kitchen, waiting for spring to come, and it Will come. I'm practicing my habits. Some need more work, a lot more work, quite a few actually fit quite well already. This month I want to practice doing shit when it pops up on my radar, not carry to do's until I break under the stress. Keep habits going. Keep mental health and weight under control, in that order. Maybe find a place to intern for a few days a week or in the summer or whatnot to learn basket weaving... Other adventures. Happy Spring Returning Katrin a.k.a. Morag

So today os Friday, still out of the grinder, BUT there may be a silver lining visible now. I spoke with someone, and I think I got one of the threasholds between me am me fixing my situation out of the way, kinda. Difficult to explain without going too much into detail. I spoke to someone fessed up to my burnout/neurasthenia/depression/whateverIamgoingthroughrightnow and how that lead to my paperwork not being done on time. It feels like I am moving again at least. And I have a flyer and a letter headed my way to get me access to a single session or a few sessions with a counselor free of charge. Yay proper health care system!! Today I just need to head into work before 10am this morning to fill out different paperwork to get covid vaccinated possibly, maybe even as early as this coming Sunday. Depending on vaccine availability, obviously. So far so good. After that I'll Kick the kids to do their chores, start a load of laundry and then hit that big pile of massive paperwork waiting for me. And maybe I'm lucky and have an actual free weekend on my non-work weekend, how about that?

Week 1 was not bad, but I am still in the grinder until noonish Wednesday this week, once I've breathed after that I can report back properly. Hope you are all doing ok. Speak soon.

Hey Ellis, nice to meet you, thanks for stopping by! I wouldn't be able to get up at 4:45 for early shift if I didn't have the lamp going from 4:00 or 4:30, it's SO BLASTED HARD to get up before the light, I'm sure glad I found light to be the best alarm for me. Today I have paperwork to fill out and get ready to send out. Existential fears in high gear. Yesterday's dinner experiment looked a bit like a sad, deflated, stranded blob, two portions eaten last night (first born and I) but it tastes fine, so I had some leftovers for breakfast, did not go for seconds, and am putting the rest away for later. The little one tasted a teenytiny bit made quite the show of how disgusting it was... we amended the agreement: he has to try a tiny amount I put on his plate, not make me feel bad about cooking or else he doesn't get ANY electrics until next meal, and next try. Harsh, but he is borderline underweight, not because we are poor or there'sno food, but because he's refusing to try anything. And I will not give up this power struggle and only make sauce-and-cheese puzza or pasta with no sauce. He can eat basic starchies when he tried the other stuff. Sorry, parental rant done. For now. I will go for a walk with my mum later today, buy new batteries for the smoke detectors, the one outside my bedroom door beeps... at night... explains why I'm edging on cranky today. Anyway grey and awful outside and the spawn are still asleep in their beds. Boo. My mind is scattered, I apologize for my detoury posts.

In went for a walk yesterday. I did go by my garden allotment today after work, that's two habit-building compliances. I created a rewards jar and drew only blanks so far ( ) I did cook a new recipe BigBoy and I agree on some improvement possibilities, BabyBoy tasted a fork tine's worth of it and cried and dry heaved and was overall the brat that he usual is. What did I cook (Spinatstrudel, the recipe calls it, a roll of spinach-parmesan-almond flour-and seasoning covered dough, baked up in the oven with tomato sauce Napolitana out of a jar.) So far that's not awesome, but who cares. Little boy is being I Don't Like Any Of This recently and refusing to even try a tiny tea spoon worth, so I'm trying to reach him. Somehow. Work was work. No drama, no highlights, just a normal day. My feet hurt and my back is ... tender? But overall I am ok, and so was work. Sleep was okay as well. Hydration needs more work, but I had some Sirupe in carbonated water when I got home that I didn't properly track, so I am not 100% where my hydration stands. I moved outside, during daylight hours, it was good, but it's dreary and grey, so not ideal. I did have my lamp on for waking up, so some fake daylight was had as well. I weighed myself. I ate two meals and 5 things that were not meals today, we ate one pot rice cooker meal twice yesterday and once today. It was plenty. I did the things I rememberd planning. I wonder if I forgot anything (I have no spreadsheet yet). So far so good.

Hey Terra, I finally found my way around the forums, looking up people's threads, loitering for a bit, but I decided Enough Of This Go Say Hi. So here I am saying hi. Let's get back on our feet. You got this!

You are right of course, but at 54° N and two weeks after winter solstice... there is not a lot of sunlight to be had. Not here not with our weather not with our location... but if I work on the other goal (going outside every day) I will, eventually, get access to more natural sunlight. Good to see you, Elastigirl, how have you been? How are you doing? Happy New Year ☆!

Hi, my name is Katrin, I go by Morag on the internet. I'm 37yo, single mum of a 17 yo and a 10 yo boy from the north of Germany. I'm a gazillion kg overweight, I started my journey April 6th, 2015, I came straight here, and even during that first newbie challenge I joined the Rangers and have been a ranger ever since, though admittedly in 2019 and 2020 I've been more offsite than on. Even though I have been flailing about lately... I've had a hell of a ride so far: ran a very slow but steady 6km mudrun with friends from Aus and NL, got licensed to be trainer for fitness classes in fitness club, fell in love with the idea of aerial silks, did nothing about that, played some hobby volleyball, got another license, had to stop dancing oriental belly dance because studio was closed, trained elderly in a nursing home for fall prevention amoung other things, had to stop being a trainer, picked up a barbell after two years of lusting after that kind of strength work, seperated from the husband, had first family vacation ever, started a new job, started learning Korean, got a garden allotment, shovelled 6m³ of compost... then covid hit, work in a nursing home environment isn't particularly fun these days. It could be worse, but work is hard. I'm heavier and unhealthier than I have ever been, I'm more stressed and coping less well than ever before. But I must say: I'm actually so very curious about this next stretch of road through my life... I actually typed this out yesterday, but forgot to post it. So here we go: new year's plans: keep adjusting the plan, keep figuring out where I'm headed. 2021 □ Loose some weight (yeah I have numbers and plans how to get there, I'm just not going into detail here right now, maybe at a later time) □ Be someine who gets her mental health under control: ◇ go to bed by 2230 - never later twice in a row ◇ daily morning lightlamp and vitamin D ◇ do some moving around every single day be a person who puts on her shoes and leaves the house ◇ get shit done - stuff on my desk and other things that pop up □ Be a person who stacks her environment in her favor, makes her goals as easy as can be and masters the entry points first □ Be a person who is connected to the land and grows her and her family's own food year round and last but by far not least: □ Be a person who leads her children to become good men by showing them not telling them. Be the mom they can talk to but also who's example they can follow. So far my first braindump of the year. I intend to build a levels based plan for all skills I want to learn, but I must admit it's too much cerebral power needed for me today. I know I need to formulate what I want to achieve, please be patient with me.

Thanks everyone for the tapatalk feedback. I think Imma migrate to the new forums, feels like a good place to cut off 2020 and go start thinking about 2021...

Glad I spot another familiar name in the forest of new threads. Hope you are well. Do take good care of yourself. Bestest wishes! Let's see how long I can keep up with your thread! Morag aka Katrin