purplehonu

Okay, so it's been 10 days since I've posted an update on how I'm reaching (and not reaching) my goals. I'm gaining insight as to how both my body and my emotions are affecting my fitness goals. 1) weight training. I only got in 2 days since my last post. I've discovered that when I really do the reps and follow the correct form and try to get the full range of motion that MAN I'm sore for 3 days after the workout. So, I feel it best to back my hopes and expectations down to two days a week for strength training. Even doing the BBWW is having me be sore for 3 days and I'm not even doing three full sets yet. So I feel like I'm at a respawn point, but that's okay. Sometimes retracing steps is important and NO I'm not throwing in the towel. I'm at 3 X 18. BUT that's a big part of what wisdom is about - learning, accepting and adapting.... Sooo I'm going to call my workouts a fail with a respawn. remaining four weeks of challenge goal of 8 for 8. 2) Avoiding Sugars 32/39. I seem to get about 3 days in then I crumble to a craving or a need to not "hurt" someone's feelings by saying "no" to a homemade goodie. Hmmm....my codependency has flaired in the familiar world of "I am responsible for how others feel during this _________ (birthday party.)" OR " I don't want to hurt or disappoint due to the amount of TIME that went into that __________(cake)." I think I've got more baggage with food, eating, love, acceptance than I thought. The truth = I can't and don't want to attempt to control others feelings. It isn't up to me to attempt to manage their feelings for them. If I need to say "NO" then that is what I need to do to be healthy and happy. I can work thru the baggage of the emotional aspects of food in my world. I also found a couple of slips due to MY feeling that others around me were trying to police my foods - so that speaks to where I was at emotionally. I need to continue to be aware of my emotional eating and it's many correlations to my toxic scripts and find ways of correcting the flawed messages. So, here's a huge pat on the back for the huge amount of awareness I've gained this past 10 days. 3) I've discovered that #2 & #3 are intertwined. If I get too hungry, I have the tendency to get a quick snack of bread and almond butter or the cravings kick in and I'll grab snacky type foods (for me that's semi-sweet choc or dark chocolate or dried fruit or nuts) We make freshly milled flour, whole grain, hand crafted bread but NOT a real, sit down and eat it mindful meal. I have discovered I need meals - not just snacks. My body does tell me " FEED ME." or "QUENCH ME." I need to fuel & water my body so it can continue to more easily meet the demands I place on it. Accept that my food needs are real and that it's okay to stop and eat a meal when needed. I'm important enough to take a lunch break. I also have discovered that I have a really strong inclination to All or Nothing thinking around food, sugar and meals. I feel like a slip with eating sugar is a character flaw. It sucks me into the toxic place of "I am___." as opposed to "My behavior is _____." That under sever stress that when my coping methods are exceeded, I want to turn to chocolate to change my brain chemicals. I successfully consumed two chocolate chip cookies and a half cup of ice cream Saturday night, instead of reaching out to my girl friends. We learned Friday that my DH, who is only 55, has the knees of an 80yr old. He'll be in for knee replacement surgery no later than August with a 10wk recovery period. I'm feeling the stress of managing our brick and mortar by myself and then wondering how I can support him in his recovery process. So realizing all of this is huge progress and will help me correct the toxic internal script that "I''m not enough. That I'm weak and have no will power. That I need to be able to do it all." and that's a huge script I need to correct. Positive affirmations are helping - so it will come. Seeing my ratios for how successful I am being is a huge, positive step forward. I'm not being perfect in my goals for this challenge but I'm not failing. I am enough. I can let go of anything that I have no control over. What I can do in a day is enough. I have a voice and I can ask for help and delegate. Update my goal page sooner this next week. LG - Journaling 13/14 days. Insighful! Hard to do but Insightful. Plus I was successful for packing meals for my two long days this past week. Got much more veg consumed. Yippee!!!!

Thank you for the support. This has been quite the learning week for me,. I'm hoping it translates into wisdom about my strengths and weaknesses. I hope that we can build a connection. It feels like we could very easily be kindred spirits. That brings me added hope on this journey.

K, I'm three days in. 1) I'm struggling with making the time to exercise I'm 1/2 so far this week. I'm not giving up - so I need to schedule it in like an appointment an honor the commitment to myself. Whether at home or at the gym - it matters not. 2) For avoiding obvious sugar I'm at 8/9 ---- Yippee! This has been harder than I thought. Hopefully it eases up in the next few days. 3) Honoring my hunger - I am doing this and making choices as they are available. What I have learned is that I need to prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner ahead of time for Wednesdays - as I'm out on the road for the day and that way I can get the veg I need to consume and not just eat protein & fats & safe grains. Yet realizing that I'm not sure how this goal is "measurable", but I feel it's to important to me to remove or modify. I have to score this goal as Pass/Fail. I think what I learn about myself and my signals will be invaluable. I've ignored my own needs for way too many years. if children can eat or not eat when food is around - I can relearn how to do this. Stop when I'm satisfied and move onto playing/participating in something much more fun than food ( and I like food so this will be easier said than done). Playing to children is much more fun than eating. LG- Journaling - harder to make time than I thought to journal the foods as I go. I need to just do it as I need the record of where I'm at. I'm paying much better attention to the signals my body sends. 2/3. keep on keeping on.

I will admit. I think my epistle was a pep talk for myself, too. At 53, it's still weird, a year later, to walk to the weight rack and look at the image in the mirror that looks nothing like myself. It seems strange to glance up and see my more distinguished face in the mirror. I struggle with fear of failure and in an unhealthy way feel that if I don't even try then I don't have to worry about "failing". Completely irrational, I know it and yet hard to correct the toxic script. Yet I feel like I "have" to go to the gym, and lift weights and I do, but not as often as will benefit me in a better way. I just wanted to reassure myself and hopefully others that these kinds of feelings are fairly typical 'cause I've had this conversation with myself and others. I love your quote - It's NOT MY MONKEYS. That applies perfectly to the guys being rude. Obviously they don't understand boundaries when it comes to someone's phyical body. Just cause you can see my body doesn't give you the right to be rude about it. BUT I need to move past a measley one day a week of weight bearing exercise to see real health benefits. So I press on, I stumble, I fall, I get up, I try again, I've taken to journaling my feeling to try to weed out the messages for correct, accurate messages - that there is no failure in lifting ANY kind of weights, in any place, at any time. You are ROCKING this! You are doing what you need to do, in a fashion that works for you and you are getting stronger and have great goals. You don't have to lift weights at the gym to do it "right". You and I just need to lift weights. @ peelout. You are totally right. I think I've always felt uncomfortable going into a new gym. At this season of my life I'm finding myself surprised as to how long it's taking me to accept that nobody cares what I look like. I think compliments are great - you look stronger, leaner, fitter - are all appropriate at a gym. Sometimes the inner person needs to be acknowledged by a kind soul on the outside. I sought out an online forum so I could feel not so alone on this journey and I'm totally stoked to have found NF. I LOVE finding real people to connect with.

Thanks I really love the quote from the blog too. Truth in it's purest form. I think allowing myself to be wrong is also one of my greatest freedoms. As another author has stated ( I think Melody Beattie - but I could be wrong - or is it Pia Mellody? ) is to allow ourselves and others to be "Perfectly imperfect." - I love that one.

I've neglected my fitness too much over the past 20 years. On again, off again. Desk job packed on the pounds. Chronic stress with being self-employed has made it hard to drop weight for me this past few yrs. My two cents (or in this case a big, fat epistle) for why women won't lift is - Beats the hell out of me!!!!! I get the intimidation of it all, but I got over it in my 20's. I also had 3 older brothers that played sports and if they could lift weights, well then so could I. I joined a gym and asked staff to show me how to do weight machines correctly. I'm coming to realize not many people do that. Okay seriously. I think it's a possibility of several things: Fear of looking stupid; being judged by others as being - weak, lame or _______ - somehow not being good enough at it, or strong enough or coordinated enough. Or even instantly "perfect" at it. We live in a society where perfectionism is king and perfectionism demands that things look easy, be easy. and that makes the learning curve impossible. Embarrased to ask. Comparison will kill the movtivation. Not feeling like they will ever fit in with the people who hang out by the racks. The "not enough" phrase dips into who we are and what we feel about ourselves. Yes, a two pound kettle bell is worthless and insulting on a cover of Shape. So how do we talk to friends that are hoping we are going to say: ":Oh me? I got my strength by thinking positive thoughts", taking (name current fav supplement), Following current diet fad, or just wishing that it was something other than weight lifting. I even think sometimes they do it to try to be polite and sound interested, but actually aren't. You can even ask them if they actually want to hear the answer, and be open to getting the answer they might NOT be hoping to hear. Nuff speculation on why... since I can't read anyones mind. Just ask them why they don't want to do weight lifting? Listen to both the words as to what's being said and more importantly what's not being said. Then repeat back "sounds to me like your feeling ___ about weight lifting. I can see where that would be_________. " ( scary, facing the unknown, intimidating or whatever emotion you think fits). Let them respond. If you feel you've connected in this aspect, ask them what you can do to help them discover if it's something they can try. Respect either a yea or nay. But only do this if you are able to go with them and support them as they learn the weight lifting ropes. Support from a friend while learning a new behavior is humbling and amazing in many aspects. I'm almost 100lb heavier than when I first got pregnant in 1992. BUT I regularly stand at work. I walk during work anywhere from 2.5 to 5 miles a day in a 2400 square foot space - my UP24 tells me so. I can walk up to 10 miles with no problem and no major issues the next day. Running - not more than 45 seconds per "sprint" before gasping for air and slowing down. I AM the PERFECT specimen for adaptive behavior. Yet, I love lifting, squats, lunges, etc because I SEE actual improvement and NO it never getting easy. Just the numbers get more impressive. I am in the place of stating - I'm out of shape, I'll help spot you - you help spot me. It's okay. You don't have to impress me and hurt yourself. Listen to your body during recovery and honor that. or whatever seems to be appropriate.

Good to know. I'll go looking there. Thank you.

It looks like it's been a while since anyone has revisited this topic. Yup. Brought a smile to my face reading all the stories. "I remember when I was a young whipper snapper and I actually got to see Star Wars in the theater at the time of it's original release. Now have a seat and I'll tell you how it and Indiana Jones changed my life. "

Good job on rowing in the Masters Level. That's impressive! Yep - I get the struggle with sugar. It is addictive to many and I include myself in that catergory. Sadly, there's too much science out there to rebuttal that it doesn't have addictive properties. I'm behind you as you press forward in your challenge.

Good work. You are strong. You are doing this.

Good job stating your needs and goals. Thanks for sharing your fears, too. That is really hard to do. You can do hard things and facing emotions is the bravest of all. Keep on posting and checking in. You are going to succeed.

Hi everyone, My name is Leslie. I am 53yrs of age. I'm ready to get fit...again. I need to lose body fat, regain muscle, improve balance & coordination and stay connected. I'm a Ranger in the making. I'm self-employed and (still) work 6 days a week up to 12/hrs a day. The worst part is - I have no desire to work this hard at work... so that is a long term goal for me too. I've two wonderful sons, 19 & 22, a loving husband, a cat and a dog. I don't get everything done in a day... and I'm good with that. I feel like I've earned a Masters Degree in the school of hard knocks and have many favorite mantras, including: Get knocked down 12 times - get up 13; Life is HARD for everyone - Be kind; This too shall pass, and many more. I love the concept of 'surrender' & 'surrendering the outcome' as learned in recovery. I'm pretty dang good with accepting how change can occur with how scary, overwhelming, angering, and sad it can be. I've got healthy tools. I am always seeking new friends to help support me in the process of change and be supported by me with their own changes. I also have peace and often feel joy after walking thru those uncomfortable feelings. I feel like I'm the master of "Plan B" many a day. I connect with my Higher Power daily (or more often). I've overcome many obstacles and I'm prioritizing to overcome more of them (one lifetime won't be long enough). I am back at the place of baby steps with fitness: Yet - walk I must. One behavior - one goal - one day - one moment - one decision at a time. I am here to face my fears of accountability in a public forum. So here goes.... (deep inhale - slow exhale) I will strive to: Long Term goal: to lose approximately 65# of body fat. (I don't really care about the scale anymore, as it just shows my displacement on Planet Earth. It isn't accurate to strength, speed and agility when one gets lean.) I will enter the arena and dare greatly to show up and pick myself up - again and again. I will continue to seek toward balancing all the areas of my life. I will accomplish this by completing challenges - and this is the first of many. For the next 6 weeks my goals are: 1) weight training or bodyweight training 3X a week. To be posted as X of 18 days 2) break the sugar habit - consuming no obvious sugar products . To be posted per meal as X of 126 meals. I have discovered that if I eat something sugary I have a tendency of throwing the whole day to the wind and wanting to reboot "tomorrow" and I know that tomorrow never really comes. 3) Honor my hunger while allowing the cravings to pass - Practicing mindfulness. Doing sensory "check-ins" to see if it's physical or emotional hunger and then determine what I really need. Plan ahead for stressful, uber busy days. Life goal: Daily Journal - both food and emotions. Try to discover triggers, consequences and old, recurring negative messages while looking for physical and emotional reactions. Seek support from inner circle to help me rewrite said negative messages. ( Do you want to join me and create an inner circle? Knowing that the posts will be read by many.) I don't really care how long this takes. I didn't get here over night. It won't resolve magically. I build muscle easily, I lose fat fairly easy. I do get frustrated when I do step on a scale - so I'm not going to use one this next six weeks. I know that as I shift the balance, of building muscle mass and reducing body fat, at some point the number on scale must go down. Plus the clothes I wear will confirm that I'm remolding my body. I currently have a fat body, and that's going to evolve into a fit body. I can do this. I am doing this. I have done many hard things. I am doing hard things. Bring it!