tourennatrix

Tuesday: I ate breakfast (though I think I'm getting saturated on this particular breakfast and need to find a different texture to eat for a bit) I donated blood (woo! My iron is the highest it's been like *ever*) After resting for a bit, I decided I did have enough energy for some beat saber and I journaled the heck out of my journal before bed. Plan for Wednesday: Today I have off of work, so it'll be chill. I got a lot of veggies yesterday so I'm gonna try to make some healthy food. At this point it looks like today's "project" is going to be house cleaning because *yikes* but I'll throw in some quiet reflection and some slick dance moves in throughout the day.

Monday: I ate breakfast I helped a friend carry and assemble a desk, then played a fair bit of beat saber and I worked on a piece of art. Not too shabby for a monday. Plan for Tuesday: Eat breakfast (in progress) And then after work I have a blood donation so if that goes well (as in, if I have enough iron that they'll take me), I'll plan on taking the evening pretty chill. Hopefully eat some veggies.

Woah what happened there. Ok so. Breakfast is still proving difficult but I have eggs and english muffins now so maybe I can get something going. For some reason the roasted veg wasn't doing it for me. Perhaps because I had too much broccoli and not enough potato? Anyway. Yesterday (Saturday) I played some OhShape and Beat Saber and got nice and sweaty Today (Sunday) I went for a "run" (Zombies, Run! 5K training, week 1 day 1) And then it snowed. Thanks, Iowa. I convinced myself to bring my berimbau to camp, and have practiced it twice in the last few days, which is pretty awesome. And then today I found out I can't bring it to camp. But I sure would like to keep trying to practice. I'll see if I can decouple the act of playing it with the feeling of bummer. Decoupling feelings like that is hard sometimes. So, plan for monday: Wake up in time for breakfast, and eat breakfast After work meditation or something calming because it's gonna be a long day I'm sure. OhShape/Beatsaber if it's still fxing cold, something outside if it's warmer. Also, make a food plan for the week and actually go get groceries. I've been avoiding this and it shows 😅

Day 3 (4/13) Well... I didn't end up eating before leaving, so like everything I ate all day was bready/sugary carbs but portions were not as excessive as they've been in the past... 😬 And by the time I got home I was pretty whipped. I did end up finding clothes that felt good to wear! None of them were at the thrift stores, so I ended up paying full price for everything I got, but these are the first somewhat comfortable jeans I've had in months (years?) and a tank for Camp. Food: Breakfast? Brunch? Idk, I got it from a gas station and it was crackers. GG, self. Activity: Noooooope. Calm: YES. I had a good talk with my therapist, and some time for reflection before and after. --- Day 4 Intentions: If my apartment is warm enough for me to emerge from stasis, I'd like to get up and do yoga or somesuch in the morning before breakfast. I don't expect this to be the case, so I will be happy just to get up early enough to make some eggs.

Day 2 (4/12) Did not sleep well, despite trying to go to bed early. Something to do with the changing temperatures probably. Didn't get out of bed until closer to 7:45 which means getting just the basics done before leaving. Realized too late that this evening I have a continuing education class and as such won't really have time for exercise, so We'll see what I make with that Food: Gas station breakfast (breakfast pizza and pop tarts) BUT I had a "healthy" energy drink from yesterday, so I skipped the soda. Activity: Just chasing down the elderly, nothing intentional, boo. Calm: Nothing I would consider intentionally calming, but I was locked out of the building where my class was for a while, so I had dinner in my car with the windows down and enjoyed the weather for a bit before class! --- Day 3 - I took time off work. Today is Therapy Day, so I'll be driving out to see my therapist, and beforehand I'll be running all my "big city" errands, by which I mean hitting up all the thrift shops looking for clothes that actually fit. Yesterday right before I left work I developed some spontaneous back muscle pain which has lingered through and worsened overnight so I'm trying to figure out what to do with that. My plan for movement today was going to involve going for a "run" but with my breathing muscles hurting the way they do, I think some more gentle movement is in store. Plan for the day includes eating something, gentle movement such as yoga, and quiet time before and after therapy. yaayyyy

Day 1 (4/11) I stopped resetting my alarm at 7 and forced myself out of bed by 7:15. Not early enough for exercise, but early enough for a shower and making breakfast. Tired as all heck though. Work ran way later than usual, even though by all accounts it was a better day than I've been having. So I traded 'tired and miserable' for 'just extremely tired'. Food: Breakfast scramble, check. Stopped at a gas station for caffeine, but picked up a "healthy" energy drink instead of soda. Activity: Post-work Beat Saber. Kept the maps pretty chill though because heeeeccckkk I was tired. Calm: Worked on an art piece. Well, I made preparations for my art piece. One step closer to actually doing it. Went to bed early

Don't mind me, just sliding in under the radar for a little pre-camp accountability. As of this writing, Camp starts in 31 days. Oh the Antici- -pation. So what do I want to focus on between now and then? Aside from *literally everything*? Topic 1: Food This girl has been breakfasting on a diet of soda, donuts, poptars, and occasional breakfast pizzas for the last 6 months and I'm pretty sure that has a lot to do with why I'm at my heaviest weight ever. This is something I would like to snap out of and start building better breakfast habits. Topic 2: Activity My job keeps me fairly active, at least in that I'm on my feet and walking all day. However I lack *intentional* movement in my day. In order to be able to participate in camp activities as much as possible, and avoid camp-related injuries, I intend on incorporating some daily intentional movement. This may be some Zombies, Run! action, some OhShape and Beat Saber in VR, a sweat-inducing impromptu dance party in my living room, yoga, swimming, a surprise capoeira training session, or even a regular plain old bodyweight routine if I can get my body and brain to play nice with each other. The key is scaling with my available spoons, and avoiding all-or-nothing mindset Topic 3: Calm the Hex Down Between having a mental health breakdown, fatigue from work, and being ultra excited about camp, my nervous system is a little bit on fire these days. I'm not entirely sure how this particular focus will go. I think to go along with my intentional movement goal above, I'll have intentional silence. Whether this be between workout and leaving for work, or getting home from work and getting all the *ick* out of my system... Could be meditation, journaling, or (again) yoga. Not afraid to double dip if the day calls for it! Known Challenges: My biggest obstacles are morning mood and after-work fatigue. Since I have such *awful* after work fatigue, I want to try to get up earlier to allow for some intentional movement and time to eat breakfast before getting in the car. The problem here is that I have this habit of snoozing my alarm until 15 minutes before I'm supposed to leave. My job doesn't have a set start time so I'm not penalized for being late, and with all the various hacks I've tried to get up without resetting my alarm, it really just comes down to "If I don't want to get up, I'm not going to." So I think I'll make myself a big ole sign to put on my night stand that says "YOU PROMISED" lol. Setting up for Success: 1. prepping some roast veggies tonight to set up for an easy breakfast scramble in the morning. 2. deciding the night before what I want to try to do the following morning, and setting it as a reminder on my phone that I will hopefully notice when I try to futz with the alarm. 3. reinstate bedtime procedures to promote early and restful sleep Accountability: Maybe I'll have the wherewithal to use some of my extra time in the mornings to do a check in regarding the previous day? Maybe 😉

Here is an update on the Current State of Things (tm): ... I will be having surgery on March 15th. Yaaayyy.... =_= I am expected to have about a week in the hospital and around 6 weeks of recovery time before I get back to work hauling patients around. 1. Daily Movement >>> Work has granted me a non-zero amount of movement this first week, but I have not had as much as I would like. Tonight, after I write this, I will do some yoga before winding down for bed! Also need to get my cardio on so I don't make a fool of myself when my nurses try to teach me how to use an incentive spirometer.* 2. Daily Peace >>> Last night I finally re-initiated my bedtime routine which helps get my brain in the mindset of sleepytime. However I followed it up immediately by an hour of tiktok and 3 hours of tossing and turning. (Part of this might have been my midday nap too, but...) Time to enforce some bedtime phone rules and follow them. I also spent today setting up a peaceful space so I can sit and meditate somewhere other than my bed 3. Eat with your Gut Easing into mindful + intuitive eating. Step 1: actually log every meal for 1 week (forego harsh judgement on food choices) >>> Oof. As much as I love the idea of a pretty photo log of all my meals, I'm just not likely to snap a photo of my meal replacement bar while I'm at work, or my snacks that I'm snacking out of nervous habit or something. Learn & Adapt Step 2: actually write down every meal for 1 week. Check in with this log as part of the nighttime routine! Project for week 1: Begin tracking hormone cycles and research "habits vs routines" based on monthly cycles of energy. >>> I'm not quite sure what to do with this one, TBH. My cycle is going to get super thrown off towards the end of this challenge when I have my surgery, and really hard to maintain any routine of checking my temperature in the morning since I probably won't have a regular sleep cycle for a while. So maybe I'll table this until next challenge when I'm more on the recovery side of things. Project for week 2: Throughout the week, spend a total of 30-60 minutes looking for work, and submit applications for anywhere that looks reasonable. Do not spend excess time doing the searching. This will only compound stress (My mentor gave me a little mentoring and said that for her first job, the employer held a position open for 3 months for her to graduate and pass her board exams, so I should be fine to apply for a job I won't be able to start for like 2 months 🙄 ) * As freaky as this situation is, I'm a little curious to be a patient, now that I know a little more about healthcare. I'll be at a different hospital than the one I work at (thank goodness, I don't need my coworkers helping me learn how to shower). I'll probably have physical therapy, but the kind I've only practiced in school. I haven't had to teach the respiratory side of things- how to breathe so you don't get pneumonia, how to cough so you don't bust your incision site. I'm probably going to feel a combination of "yeah I know how to do this" and "wow, this is harder than expected" and also probably make a fool of myself and need to remind myself that I will be on a lot of pain killers so making a fool of myself is half the fun. As long as I don't fall down 👍

Sleepy start to the challenge 😬 1. Daily Movement >>> Movement has been ugh this week, but I have been working more hours (and thus, getting up and moving) a bit more than expected. Still not what I'm aiming for, but it's a non-zero amount of activity! Getting up and moving early in the morning or after work is so hard because I keep just... cocooning. Weather will be improving soon, so that should help! 2. Daily Peace >>> Nothing yet- see above about work and cocooning 3. Eat with your Gut Easing into mindful + intuitive eating. Step 1: actually log every meal for 1 week (forego harsh judgement on food choices) >>> I have been mindful of my meals, but it's really easy to forget to take pictures of them, especially since I don't have set meal times so I can't just set a phone reminder or something lol. But it's definitely on my mind! Project for week 1: Begin tracking hormone cycles and research "habits vs routines" based on monthly cycles of energy. >>> After I make this post, I'm going to draw out a cycle tracker and then set reminders to check in with it daily. I need to get back to my normal evening wind down routine this week when my apartment stops being so damn cold, this will be an excellent time to check in with my cycle tracker and do some "Daily Peace" activity

Just dropping in and read the turmoil of your first post. I get this so hard and I feel for you! I haven't caught up on your journey yet, but I hope you're getting some footing ❤️ I think one of the best things to keep in mind here is just self forgiveness and the permission to start again ❤️❤️❤️ You go girl!

Hey Hatter, glad to be back! I want to doctor that picture up in photoshop and add color and print it out full size to hang on my wall where I can see it daily Ok so now that I'm awake, here is a rundown of the Current State of Things (tm) I am currently working as a physical therapist assistant, which is awesome because that's what I've been going to school for for the last couple years. However, my current job(s) are "PRN," meaning they only call me in when they need extra help. This varies a lot and can result in situations like this morning where I wasn't planning on working and I get a text before I wake up asking if I can come in. The good news is I always have the option of saying yes or no. The bad news is I don't have a set schedule. *shruggie* Overall, I have been getting way fewer hours than I need, and my non-PTA job has decided that my project with them is done, so my backup is gone. Swell. Time to look for a full-time PTA position. Except... I have been having health issues. I found out in January 2020 that I had a cyst on my pancreas (happy new year 2020). The doctors weren't immediately concerned about it, but after monitoring it for a while, my local doctors referred me to a specialist. The specialist took a look at it and said "It's not cancerous but it might become cancerous, I'm going to refer you to a surgeon." So I have a consultation with them this Friday to see what my options are. Because as much as I really don't want to get cancer, I also really don't want to be completely out of work for a couple months... 🙄 It's not all bad news bears though! Like I said, I am working in my chosen field, and I currently have an adorable apartment with my lovely kitty, Monkey. And her biggest complaint right now is the weather 😅. Since I'm working in healthcare, I've already managed to get both vaccines, and when I (surprise!) tested positive for Covid at the beginning of December, I had a week of zero symptoms. So something in my body is working right! 🤭 Looking forward to keeping some amount of accountability through all of that mess, lol. Such as my meals :

Hello Strangers! I am entering another period of extreme uncertainty, and have had to step away from NF coaching, so I thought I might try the forums again as a method of accountability. But, also due to said uncertainty, this will need to be rather 'freeform.' Goals may change week to week depending on how things progress. I'm also super heckin' tired right now so not sure how coherent this introductory post will be, lul. The general theme will revolve around these thoughts I doodled down the other day... (I'm sorry I don't know how to make this not huge right now...) The actual things I will be focusing on to start with: 1. Daily Movement This can be yoga, capoeira, dancing, bodyweight exercise, going for a walk (once it's not frostbite within 10 minutes weather outside), etc. 5-15-30 minutes- Whatever, as long as attempt is made to be more active than a potato. It is tempting to consider work days as exercise, but I would prefer to have something more mindful and fun as my daily movement 😉 2. Daily Peace Meditation, journaling, or breathwork, Specific activities that help me be more aware of my body and how it feels. 3. Eat with your Gut Easing into mindful + intuitive eating. Step 1: actually log every meal for 1 week (forego harsh judgement on food choices) Project for week 1: Begin tracking hormone cycles and research "habits vs routines" based on monthly cycles of energy.

I spent the morning writing a cover letter and I submitted a job application and now I think I'm gonna go hyperventilate and pass out

Ok wow hi I exist. This was an interesting (emotional) week, and a few days just kinda... vanished on me. I took some stuff to help me sleep on Sunday night, so Monday involved sleeping in until noon, donating blood, napping from 4-6, and then being back in bed by 9. Tuesday I was rested and actually did some studying! Wednesday I was drowsy again and slept late and felt less ok about it, but tried to not be too hard on myself. Thursday I was a rockstar and did a lot of room cleaning (there's still lots to go)... Until I found a few photos of my former husband and I from when we were dating, and a mix CD he made for me... And then (slightly related) Friday I laid in bed until 5pm because nothing was worth the effort of getting up. Isn't depression GRAND I did have the honor of an extra phone call with my therapist on Friday so that was nice. As far as NF goals though, Not much happened. Ah well, it's been a lot to process this week. Lets look at Week Two: 🥑 Food: at least 2-3 meals from scratch per week, and no more junky snacks. -> Week Two: Make breakfast 3 times. Make dinner and don't let the leftovers go bad. (samesies) X: Surprisingly enough, I did manage to make eggs for breakfast a day or 2 this week. And probably the gold star here goes to the buttered spaghetti that was made after I finally got up on Friday. 🤸 Activity: Do something intentional each day: a walk, a bike ride, a yoga, a workout. -> Week Two: Make suspension trainer and establish a basic full-body workout X: I have the materials to make the suspension trainer. I have done zero workouts, but I did manage a bike ride to the farmer's market on Saturday, and a dog walk today. 📖 Study: at least 10 hours/week. The way it's scheduled should be closer to 16-20, but I'm leaving space for wiggle room. -> Week Two: Organize resume materials and review interview questions. (and try to not hyperventilate) X: I did get a few hours of studying in on Tuesday, including some anatomy coloring book which is a nice relief from boring quizzes and reviews. Today I added some info to my resume and uploaded it to Indeed. There's a position open that I'm trying to psych myself up to apply for. This may happen soon. 🧘 Mental health: A lot of stuff falls under this umbrella, so I'm gonna have my list in the background and just go by weekly tasks... -> Week Two: develop a morning routine that will be minimally impacted by roomies. LIMIT SCREEN TIME. X: Screen time pretty well resolved. I was pretty easily able to recognize when I was just scrolling because I was bored or anxious and to put it down. Morning routine is obviously still not a thing, but an evening routine is in the works since I've put together some homemade face wash last night. Trying again for Week Three: 🥑 Food: at least 2-3 meals from scratch per week, and no more junky snacks. -> Week Three: Make breakfast 3 times. Make dinner and don't let the leftovers go bad. (samesies) 🤸 Activity: Do something intentional each day: a walk, a bike ride, a yoga, a workout. -> Week Three: Make suspension trainer and establish a basic full-body workout (samesies) 📖 Study: at least 10 hours/week. The way it's scheduled should be closer to 16-20, but I'm leaving space for wiggle room. -> Week Three: Review interview questions, apply for one job. 🧘 Mental health: A lot of stuff falls under this umbrella, so I'm gonna have my list in the background and just go by weekly tasks... -> Week Three: Continue limiting screen time. Focus on evening routine to set up for morning success. Here's hoping for a smoother week ❤️

This is kinda random, but does anyone know of a small-ish business that sells essential oil diffusers at a reasonable price? I have one that works with a tea light that I enjoy but I want something I can leave on for longer. I'm also tired of giving money to Amazon and Walmart 😕 ETA: located in the U.S. in case that wasn't obvious