Leego

Huuuuh, you sound like a very lucky woman. That actually sounds kind of similar to how I see my ideal partner. A sort of companion. As a matter as fact, I don't even like to use the titles "girlfriend" or "lover", but companion sums it up quite nice. To me, a companion is a best friend that you feel very passionate about, who will stick by you regardless of what happens, and will not intentionally do anything that they know would hurt you. But maybe I'm young and naive.

No, not really. I have a few friends out in the country that are slightly older than me by about 1/2-5 years. They are good guys, but two are off living their own lives with a job, girlfriend, and truck. One other still lives at home, but has been making plans to share an apartment with a cousin of his, and possibly getting a job. In college, I used to be good friends with this guy (Let's call him Dave) and girl (Let's call her Abby). Abby was a good friend, and a very sweet girl, but I was never interested in her romantically like that. She's actually engaged to someone (for how long, I don't even know), but she hung out with Dave so much on campus, some people thought THEY were a couple. I don't really know what that was about. After Dave changed and started hanging out with others, and Abby became close friends with this girl named Maria, we all kind of lost touch. Dave was a cool guy. Very friendly, kind of nerdy. I actually met him and befriended him through his brother, Well, and another friend, Luigi. We had a lot of fun together, but Luigi stopped going to the school, and Well said he was taking a semester off, and never came back. Then Dave asked me to room with him, but I got mixed up in things and accidentally forgot about meeting with the dorm masters (as I call them) to confirm our rooming together, so we missed the opportunity. I can understand if he was sore over that. Then I tried hanging out with Dave, Abby, her friend Maria, and my roommate Nique, but I sort of felt like a fifth wheel, since Nique and Abby were talking to each other, and Dave and Maria were talking to each other, and I was just following behind them trying to listen in. I don't think it helped that right before going to have lunch with them, I got a bit too excited and let it slip to Dave and Abby that I thought Maria was, "so cute". He gave me this sort of weird look and then changed the topic, and as soon as he gave that look, I IMMEDIATELY got this weird vibe from him that I never got from him before. I think he got jealous. And then after that, he just changed. I saw him more with Maria than Abby, and then I started seeing him hang out with a totally different crowd, and then I saw him having lunch with this other girl, and the last time we said hey to each other and asked how our semesters were going, he said his semester was "going great...better than great, actually". I myself was having a rough semester. After that, we stopped saying hey to each other, I haven't seen Abby around, and I last saw Maria talking to this Navy officer student I know named A.J., who I think is a great guy that I respect, but fuck that.. After that, I kind of just threw my hands up in disgust at the idea of friendships in college. I would talk to Maria since I still do think she's cute, and now I just don't really care if it bothers Dave or not, but I have this strange fear that she's dating or "getting it on" with this other guy that I know, who I highly respect, and that best case, she will be taken, and worst case, they will have had their fling, went their separate ways, and she will either not be interested, or worst yet, she won't take me seriously or want to be with me because she's still infatuated with her "first love". I mean, if I see her again, I AM tempted to talk to her. She did seem sweet, a little shy, though, and she IS friends with Abby (whom I don't have bad blood with), and she's a nursing student, so if I'm going to be taking my First-Aid/CPR/AED course this semester, I may see her around, but I'm really paranoid that she will (still) have a thing for Dave or A.J., and I end up heart-broken best case, in jail for fighting worst case. Over the summer, I've pretty much made up my mind (or at least have been trying to) that I just don't want to put myself through the stress of trying to date in college, and that I just want to focus on making myself respected, respectable, and getting the hell out ASAP. All other "friends" I had were more like acquaintances, mostly ones I know from groups I tried out, or class group projects. I still have a few guy friends in my STEM group that I talk to, though.

Well, the closest thing I can think of to a happy, fun, temporary, short-term relationship with someone would be having a really good friend that I can trust will not manipulate me nor use me, but with benefits. That's the only short-term relationship I can think of where I get to enjoy someone's company, and keep my pride. Besides, whoever I end up with later in life will most likely have had TONS of "friends with benefits".

I like the sounds of what you're telling me. I am a bit surprised to hear that kettleballs actually work really well in training everything. For some reason, I had the idea in the back of my head that kettleballs are a "chick thing". I don't know why I thought that, but no more. I'll look into the links and advice everyone offered, but right now, I've been busy getting things in order for moving back to Memphis. Is there any way to incorporate dumbbell use in any of these routines? For some reason, I feel better when working out if I have something heavy to carry and push, and I already have dumbbells. I can put those in my backpack and "ruck" with those.

I don't know. After my experiences and what I've been told, it's like I'm being taught not to go with instinct or heart, to not trust anyone, and I'm a bit skeptical about the idea that dating someone can change my outlook on things. It already sounds like a Disney movie. Still, I wish you two the best. How did you two meet?

I've noticed that a lot of members here in the Nerd Fitness Rebellion community either have children, are married, or both. Then again, it seems like most of us are somewhere roughly between the age range of 28-50. I'm just curious. Not entirely for the right reasons. Partially because of personal "worries", but I do enjoy hearing some people's stories. I'll be blunt: I'm in college, and single. But I still have a lot to work on about myself and a lot more to do. I don't plan on staying in the area that I'm going to college in, and neither does anyone else. Me not planning to stick around in my current state, let alone the US, everyone being super busy, superficial, and also planning on leaving, and me not caring for a shallow relationship that will end badly with drama (or worse: a great relationship that leads to attachment and settling down too early), nor meaningless hook-ups with other students that will lead to me getting a reputation I don't want, all pretty much means that I'm going to be single until my mid 20s, at best. And that wouldn't be so bad, if I had a good friend to hang out with, or if it didn't seem like everyone around me is having the time of their lives with their companions, and if I could travel and do more of the things I want to do. I can't get attached to people in college, but I wouldn't even think twice about it, if I traveled. Also, helping those in need makes me feel good, and helps me forget about my own anxieties, so I've been thinking about volunteering abroad some summer, or joining the Peace Corps after college, so I can continue to grow, learn, meet different types of people, and see how they react to me, all while helping others and building a good reputation and resume. So who here have kids that they love? Who has a special someone that they love? Who here is single and (not) loving it? Do you have any plans or goals or dreams that include your family or companion, are about them, or would mean having to put off having them?

And I bet they rarely, if ever, have dumbbells, and barbells, and muscle belts, and resistance bands, and smith machines (lol), and pull-up machines, and etc. But I digress.

Those sound good. I will check them out. I got an idea: What do military guys usually do? I know that they most likely also lift weights, but don't a lot of their drills focus around bodyweight exercises?

I guess there's only one question left (probably not) for me to ask, for now: What bodyweight exercise routine would be suited for losing weight and building/maintaining strength? I will continue waiting for responses, in the meantime, I guess I'll just research some of BaconHunter's stuff, and also see what I can find on the web.

OK, I did. I'm some-what relieved to hear that, but I still don't want to lose the strength I've gained so far. It may be little strength, but goddammit, it's strength that I earned, and I have noticed small, positive differences in my life because of it. I guess I'll spend my fall semester focusing on weight loss, and focus on strength training in the second semester. For the sake of comforting myself, I guess I will say that, besides the IDEA of fireperson work and the IDEA of having huge muscles (which will take a few years at the least to gain), most of my physical goals mostly involves being able to move fast, and handle my own bodyweight. Nothing is going to get my ass smaller and help me handle my own bodyweight better than losing weight, and that can only be accomplished through diet and any form of exercise.

19 5 foot 9 inches (175.26 cm?) 280 lbs If I remember correctly for my starting: Squats: 40 lbs Bench Press: 56 lbs OHP: 40 lbs Deadlift: 80 lbs Power Cleans: 60 lbs Current: Squats: 100 lbs Bench Press: 85 lbs (working on 90 lbs) OHP: 75 lbs Deadlift: 145 lbs Power Cleans: 90 lbs

Well, if it helps me any, I have realized that through a little willpower, and through counting a lot of calories, I CAN eat at a calorie deficiency (which for me is eating 1,840 calories a day, or something like that) while at home. The hard part is keeping myself busy enough so that I won't feel the need to eat out of boredom, keeping myself from stressing too much so that I don't start stress-eating (isn't that a chick thing or something?), and making sure that the foods I eat actually have things that I need. You know, now that I think about it, if not getting stronger and not losing weight bothers me this much, why give up entirely for over a month, just because I'm suffering from some knee pain that I CAN take care of while also building strength, and just because I missed two days, not in a row?

But if you think I could benefit in both form and strength with bodyweight exercises, I'll gladly do those instead for a month. I never really liked the idea of trying to have my mom take me to the gym. It always makes me feel like a child, and I hate the feeling of not having control over my life and course of action. When I first started, I really only liked the idea of working with things that I know are a sustainable method, regardless of being homebound, or going travelling, or being stuck in the wilderness. For this reason, I was almost considering to just use dumbbells and bodyweight exercises at home as my exercise routine, but then I started to read all of these things about how I need to do barbell training to get a full-body workout as a beginner so that I can begin to get a base of strength, and then I think either my parents suggested that I go to the gym or I suggested it, and then they started making plans for how I could go, and that's how I started.

Well, my two main goals for now are to: Lose weight Build strength I really want to lose weight so that I can be more agile, and run faster, and just look and feel better. But because of my family's life schedule and eating habits, it's kind of difficult to eat right. So I figured it would be easier to focus on (prioritize) building strength. I want to build strength so that when I do lose weight, I will have a more, toned look. Also, I am planning on playing sports next semester, and if college doesn't work out, I'm thinking of starting a career in firefighting or something related. But I don't want to hang out at the gym all day, and I'm running out of places to go after the gym, since I don't have a vehicle, and I have very little money. This combined with the issues I've been having with my legs and knees, along with a little bit of social anxiety and unintentionally wearing out my welcome at my mom's workplace, and I'm ready to just give up until I can get back into Memphis and go to the rec on campus, but that would mean not lifting weights for roughly 4-7 weeks. Also, if I accidentally oversleep, or my mom has a day off or has to go do something else, I miss a work day. Just like this week, Monday, my legs were killing me, so I did nothing but practice stretches. Then Wednesday, I did bench presses and power cleans, but I skipped squats for the sake of my knees. Now on Friday, my mom's got a day off for a doctor appointment, so I can't go to the gym to practice my deadlifts and OHP, though honestly, I don't think my deadlifts are gonna suffer much, and my OHP is already a bitch (in a bad way). I guess it's not all bad that I miss this many days of a workout if I'm suffering from an injury or something, but every day I miss one, I feel like I'm further from my goals, and like if something happens while I'm in Memphis (i.e. a robbery, a car accident, a riot), I won't have the strength to help others, or defend myself, and I also won't have much to show for when I walk into their gym, and because I don't have strength anymore and didn't lose a lot of weight, no one will ever respect me.

Starting Strength has begun to feel like it's taking a toll on my body: Particularly my knees and legs. Also, I still need to improve my form, improve my flexibility, and work on learning some good full-body stretches. Also, I'm beginning to get tired of going to my gym and compete over the weightlifting racks whenever this group of racist housewives come in, and I'm running out of places to store lunch and go to after gym because my mom's co-workers are getting tired of me staying at her work place after gym. I've also realized that if I want to see significant improvement over how I look, how I feel, and how well I can move, as well as take some of the pressure off of my legs and knees, I need to lose weight, which is hard to do when I can barely control what I eat and how I eat when living at home. I'm thinking that it would be easiest for me and my family if I just took a break from weightlifting. That being said, I don't want to stop gaining strength, and I don't want to lose the progress I've made in strength training so far. I believe that my strength will be just as important as my dexterity and stamina when it comes to doing whatever it is that I plan on doing. So I've got this to ask: How much strength would I lose if I took a hiatus for 4 weeks? Is it possible to retain the strength I've already built (in terms of lbs) through bodyweight training? I've been doing this for a month now. Will my body now remember how to regain all of that strength.?

Oh, so kind of like push-ups, bodyweight squats, and jumping jacks for me? OK, then.

Also, you said you were going to do 20 minutes of yoga and functional stretching as a warmup? Now, someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I've been told that stretching before a workout actually stiffens/exhausts/something your muscles, and actually makes you unable to lift as much weight, or even increase your chances of getting an injury. I've got source amnesia, so I'll provide a link to an article from Steve (which has a link to a more "scientific" article): http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/01/16/how-to-stretch/ That being said, you sound like someone who has been doing Yoga for at least a little while, and I myself have not been doing proper stretches like I should have been for the last month, and probably have a hurt knee from it, so I'm not that qualified to be talking right now.

Ah, so you know the feeling! Thank you! I've gotten to the point where I question whether or not if I should show sympathy or concern for others in real life, since most of the time I usually try to, people tend to respond with a cold shoulder or something. Maybe it's just my perception. Maybe it has something to do with my first impression or how I look or speak that makes me come off as insincere or creepy. I can honestly say that I don't get the same response here on the forums. Probably for the reasons you just mentioned, with the added anonymous status, and the added safety and lack of body language due to being behind a computer screen.

So, I'm trying to do quad stretches, hamstring stretches, and quad stretches, is it normal for them to feel like my legs are on fire while I'm doing them? Because I can easily lift weights without feeling much pain at all, even from it's strain, but when I stretch, I want to whimper. I was worried that I injured my knee, and I think I have lightly injured it, but from what I'm reading, and judging by how my left ankle hurts sometimes, and my calves, left leg, and lower back feel sore, it sounds like I've got tight muscles and am not stretching enough. And I'll be honest, I've been skipping stretches after weightlifting. Now I wish I would have paid attention in Yoga class. D: My thighs are poppin' and everything.

Good advice! Just what I was thinking of doing. I'm wondering if I should even do power cleans today. Quickly deadlifting and throwing up a bunch of heavy weight while jumping with it and doing a slight squat to give support for when I catch it, I'mma guess nah. And yet, I almost feel like letting my OCD kick in, and decide to not do any weightlifting until I can go back to safely doing squats, powercleans, and deadlifts, simply because I want my strengths and lifts to be as synchronized as possible, so I won't have to let them play catch up later, and I have to be cautious either way. I know that sounds silly, but I have to be cautious, and today, I can probably only do one weightlifting exercise safely, and that's bench pressing. Now I have to find a way to keep myself occupied at the gym for 4 hours. 0_o Are there any stretches I can do for a hurt knee and a stiff and sore lower back and legs?

Thank you for the links, everyone. And, no, I'm not entirely sure if my form is correct. I DO remember feeling stiff when I was squatting that day, and I think I was leaning over too much. Basically, what I got from James Wilson's video is: Ass out (no tail-tucking/butt under torso, back arched up), shoulder's stationary (staying put, not rising), knees stationary (not moving, not going beyond the toes), and squeeze the glutes (for extra butt-lifting power and workout). I tried doing what he said with my bodyweight just now, and even though I couldn't get a full squat because of limited space in my room, I did notice a lot of difference by putting most of my weight on my heels and keeping my knees stationary. My left knee didn't hurt at all...Not saying that I should now go and put 105 lbs on my back and do it again. I'm still not sure what to do about my knee, though. I feel like it's not the first time I've had this issue with it, and the last time I had this pain, it went away after a few days to, I guess, two weeks. Except then, I wasn't very physically active, and didn't pay it much mind. Then, I wasn't doing weightlifting. Then, the idea of not lifting weights for two weeks didn't bother me. I don't know whether or not if I need to walk more, lay down more, wear a brace, do proper bodyweight squats, do no squats, still do deadlifts and power cleans or not, stretch or not, what. Just walking around outside for awhile or even just turning around loosely when walking outside makes my knee feel a little funny, and I notice that if I walk too much, both my knee, upper leg, and lower thigh (right above the knee), all start to feel a little sore and stiff. But then again, maybe that's just from squatting, and is not an injury in and of itself. I figure that the worst thing that can happen if I play it safe and stop squatting or weightlifting for a week or two, is that I will lose two weeks of time worth MAX in building strength to recover and avoid risking a worse injury, and I will lose 5 pounds worth of strength in at least my squat, and I'll have to catch back up a little. The worst that can happen if I try and do heavy squats tomorrow even with a sore knee, is that I risk causing a tear or something that will lead to me collapsing with the weight, and end up with at least a much more serious knee injury that I can't afford to see a doctor for, and be out for a whole month, if not indefinitely. I still like the challenge and results of barbell training, but I almost want to say that I hope to switch to dumbbells or bodyweight training instead some day (even though I think it was bodyweight squats that hurt my knee to begin with), but that sounds like scared quitter talk. The only bad thing about barbell training is improper form. If I can get that right and take better care of myself, there's no reason to give it up.

You know, I just noticed that you post a lot in these forums, and that your title is "the Encourager". That's really nice.

Update: Today, I stood for 2-3 hours in the kitchen washing dishes and generally trying to think and keep myself occupied, and now the back of my knee feels sore and tired. Yet, when I did treadmill intervals yesterday for 1:30:00 (and burned 1,030 calories), my knee felt fine, except for when I would squat down. If possible, I'm just going to try and not walk or stand too much this weekend. I can honestly say, the squat is my 2nd least favorite exercise. I don't hate it, and I do think it's important, but it always feels so uncomfortable and dangerous. The only exercise I dislike more than the squat, is the overhead press, and it's not so much that I hate it for any particular reason, it's just the trickiest and most difficult lift to perform. Everything has to be done just right to lift that weight over my head.

So I just realized, that as of, I think either yesterday, I have now been doing weightlifting for a full 33 days. I have to say that, for a month of increasing weights by 5 lbs each time, I'm impressed with how fast I have been progressing. On my squats, I am about to reach 105 lbs. I WAS going to hit that mark yesterday, but for some reason, after I warmed up with body squats and was about to do a warm-up set, not only did I not feel entirely flexible enough in my legs and lower back to do a proper squat, but I began to feel a pinching pain behind m left knee. From what I've been told by one trainer, and according to what I've researched, it's either something called "Patellar tendinitis", or "Baker's cyst". Or maybe it isn't those, after reading. The pain is almost more like inside my knee, behind my knee cap, not actually behind my knee. Basically, it's where something in my knee is grinding against my knee cap because it isn't sitting right, and the best thing I can do for it is to let it rest by not doing squats for two weeks. It's so strange. It was so sudden, and my knee feels much better, now, but I'm a bit paranoid about squatting to find out, and I don't want to risk tearing something or popping a bone out of place. I might try to do squats again next Friday, but that's it. And I might use a knee brace, from now on. Besides that, I'm up to 145 lbs in deadlifting. I actually deadlifted before squatting, and instead of going from 135 lbs to 140 lbs, I went up to 145 lbs. I don't know if that had anything to do with my knee, but if it doesn't, I'm going to try and continue progressing by 10s on deadlifts until I hit 205 lbs. On my OHPs, I'm up to 75 lbs, and I almost did 80 lbs, yesterday. I did 1x3, and 1x4 with a push-press (or what's it called) assisting on the last rep. I didn't finish, though. I meant to, but I let myself get distracted and offended by someone at the gym. My bench presses and power cleans are up to 85 lbs, and I'm getting closer and closer to 105 lbs, on those. This was supposed to be a woot room post, but I've noticed that I express more concerns and failures here, rather than bragging. I mean, I really am happy to hit these milestones, but I'm more concerned about continuing.

So it sounds like you've found something that you like to eat that also is good for you. That is a good start!