Aθena

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About Aθena

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    Renegade
  • Birthday 07/01/1994

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    assassin

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  1. By the way, it's not that I did not already have these ideas, and views, but reading & talking about it (maybe also because it is without 10000 stuff going on around me) I finally feel like I am getting a more conscious/mindful approach about my to-dos. It feels like I am making progress in decluttering and making space for things that matter. And it feels like, once I do that, I will even have the ability to do the stuff that's necessary aND the stuff I want to do without procrastination just... being my default reaction to everything. Even when responsibilities "pile" back up. I have rarely had things that I let until the last moment but I do always feel like I am letting a lot of stuff for future me that I could be doing today. Oh, and I already feel like I have more breathing room even with sticking just under the average of my phone time. It will all come together this way, I know it! 🧐 One never stops learning. *** I did my posture exercises in the morning, and then went to the gym and spent 38 minutes on the stationary bike with the Virtual Scenery. I biked through Paris It was fun. Tomorrow I will have the municipality subsidised (I think) tae chi & will try doing yoga with a friend via Skype & Screen sharing an Y.w.Adrienne video. See if that works. I'm trying to remember to log my challenge goals in the table I set up in my bullet journal in the evening. Otherwise I have no idea about progress & also, it reminds me to do them the next day. Why am I so weird about logging things
  2. Oh yeah! Apprently 3 places is the new norm One on the cloud! No wonder cloudy services are so expensive 😅
  3. This story should be spread around anywhere people write work that takes a lot of effort and time Holy moly, I feel sad for this customer. Usually, I have a file of an assignment I am working on, on my computer & on the cloud. (University provided. I need to figure out what I will do when I graduate...) Though the auto-saving option lagged my laptop badly a few times when wifi was lost and it DID NOT save the last paragraph I wrote (lecture notes), and I missed a lot of info, but I just started backing up my lecture notes directly after a lecture. I use HARDDRIVES, not usb's for backups. Someone once told me:"If you have something saved on less than 2 locations, it's not important to you." I only had a problem with a lost assignment once, and I was really tired and scattered then I bought a 2TB harddrive yesterday (Seagate backup plus slim). Kind of an impulse buy so I will read reviews and google any issues people had with it. My WD that is 10ish years old died on me recently but luckily it was also just backups of files. My samsung harddrive has been GREAT, on there I think I have LOTS of things I have not backed up but super important stuff I think I can get otherwise, like via an email I have sent to someone or a government account (administrative stuff). I recently sent EVERYTHING I had on my mac to onedrive, which apparently was not as much as I thought. And deleted a lot of things on mac. I read somewhere that clouds corrupt audio files, and I have some recordings of lectures/seminars there I would ideally like to keep but I won't feel like lost a limb if I did. It just seems useful to have but I have got my grades for all those subjects so no biggie. And most of my notes are printed & additional comments I missed while typing my notes I have written on paper too, it's how I revise(d). I realised what I had done wrong is keeping folders I don't need to access or even just backups on Onedrive synced to my laptop, and THAT was what had made my laptop so full. Now I unsynced everything and going to only sync a folder with the files I am working on when that is needed. So for my thesis & when I have my last course in March-april. I am also going to use the harddrive as my physical backup of whats on Onedrive. Especially because I have music and stuff . I deleted a LOOOT of albums the other day too. I just don't listen to music like I used to. And if I am going to spend € on mb's, and risk losing data and hassle and time spent backing up stuff etc.etc. I might as well just get a Spotify subscription. I used youtube for that usually but the ads are getting worse and worse. Have not found a good Adblock for phones yet. Anyway. I rather spend that energy and time on files that I cannot get in another way. So that's my view on backups and so on. My mom is a hardware engineer and has an affinity with software so I am brought up properly in that regard Though I really need to set up a digital Mari Kondo & general upkeep like with a house. There are soooo many files I probably do not want to keep anymore. Like pictures saved that I know now I will rarely look at. From when I was a teen. I had friends that constantly changed their wallpapers everywhere but I don't bother with that too much. Did not back then either but it was fun to save pics and talk about them with people. And sentimentality did not let me delete them later on Ah. Something for a summer vacation. Now... To do some admin stuff!
  4. Thanks for the reminder! There's a lot I have to get back on, thank you and everyone else that has provided me with some awesome insights and are helping some things click in my brain. Today, right? I woke up groggy, tired, but the day started out and was generally different than otherwise. I am generally a positive person, or I try to be, but I woke up with deep breaths reminding myself I am doing to do add value today, etc. I remembered why I lost sleep last night: it was not because of electronics or other aimless stuff, which, more on that later. So I let go of the feeling bad that I did not go to sleep on time. It was because I was updating a laptop on which I had a program to edit PDFs, to help my mom with her cv stuff. This is something in line with my principles and values. I shook off any tiredness and went on with my day with, among other things, that to do in mind. (The other main to-do was my thesis topic, which I want to be a person that finishes things, and this is something I think is worth finishing.) This evening, still tired, I thought about what I would get most out of doing from my evening routine. Besides brushing my teeth. I made myself fill in the to-dos I am thinking of doing tomorrow and those I wanted to do today in an Eisenhower matrix. IT TOOK ME 3 TRIES UNTIL I ACTUALLY MADE MYSELF EVALUATE ALL TASKS. Apparently I was trying to chicken out of it, 😛 But, eventually, a few things clicked: Important does not have to mean. Life-Changing. It can mean: important to ME. Even if it's grooming stuff. Important is tied to that flipping the script thing. Not "I don't have the time" but "I am choosing not to make this a priority". Important does not mean: I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE THIS A PRIORITY EVER. It means: I am not going to do so now. Because of time,energy,drive, whatever. I am the judge of what the criteria are, and whatever I choose to the best of my current ability, is right. For now. I remembered "urgent" means, it has to be done within a couple of days. Not something that feels urgent because it is weighing down on me. It turns out that not understanding these things/how to use this tool & not puttiing ALL tasks in the matrix is why it I thought it did not work for me. Although I haven't tried actually using this set-up for a to-do list, I can see its potential. Moreover, the mobile app time tracking thing is working with motivating me. It was a bit harsh last week: "YOU DID NOT HIT YOUR GOAL ON BUT ONE DAY LAST WEEK." and that was all. But this week, I AM staying under my "average amount of time on my phone" from 2 weeks ago (which is what I made my goal). Usually just 5 minutes, but it's a start. WOOHOO!
  5. Hey! I started following but did not say so yet IT'S SO AWESOME TO READ ABOUT YOUR PROGRESS. AND HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL. And the abilities you've gained (back?) Interesting book and topics. Seriously, if I was not a member of NF, I would miss out on so much goodness. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
  6. I know why the guns are called Death and Taxes! I know why! Because people say those are the only certain things in life, just like the bullet hitting anyone that gets in the way of the scoundrel! Sorry, I got excited Hello, great goals, aesthetically pleasing challenge formats, so following. And I have been following as a lurker for a while so I figures it polite to say so now
  7. Just got caught up. Digital hugs. It sucks that so many of us can all relate to these thoughts. I know some people that should maybe relate to these thoughts, or at least their level of darkness, and get a wakeup call, but don't. They carry on on their merry way and do not, for a second, think they are not worth it. Why do we? It is what it is, and I agree they should come out, but yeah. What if we, with our principles and plans and character, had that unshakeable confidence that we have a right to this world's oxygen, and space and time, regardless of our abilities to realise them at this very moment, to shake off at least those thoughts that pull us down without ANY constructive feedback? 😋 Rooting for you, Countess.
  8. Speaking of hobbies, here is a picture of a flower (spoiler) I am getting into it again. It was very difficult to get this focused because of the wind. I held the flower in place with my hand after trying to for a while haha EDIT: I was wondering yesterday how some people have these "theme days" (I heard it on The Mustards youtube channel, and they only talk about themselves but I'm sure they're not the only ones). If I do my full evening routine, I'm going for 1,5-2 hours, I wonder if I can be faster but. I mean. It's the end of your day! Sooo... When would I add a themed element, like a movie day, or take-care-of-my-nails-time, or spending extra time on caring for my hair, or Idk. I will try to be quicker about it tonight! These were the first REAL TRIES to do my full "AM" and "PM" programs in a while, I should get faster as I do them more often. EDIT2: So, I could not focus on my laptop stuff so I went to help my mom put some holes into a wardrobe that turned out did not have holes for shelves. We got it almost for free second-hand, and got some shelves from... Ikea I think? Mid-project, the battery of the electric screwdriver went out. The other battery was empty. Apparently they're getting old. Oh well, she could do fine without! In other words, mom is going back to how I know her. With a less co-operative body but still. She enjoys re-arranging interiors, putting stuff together. Also sewing random stuff as therapy but we have enough bed stuff and table cloths and need new furniture arrangements so the choice is obvious Edit3: (at around 11:37) I found 36 possible contenders for the 36 missing files. HURRAH. Downside: it could be many more because onedrive is a bit weird with which ~$ it allows and which not, but those are non-relevant files. The problem is that I may have not searched enough to see if other files are not missing. Anyway, I did what I could, I'm just going to be careful with what I delete now, making sure imporant files are backed up and/or keeping them on my laptop if they do not take up a lot of space. CHALLENGE-RELATED (whatever I think of): The ballerina static stretch is almost not taking any effort anymore, yay. Idk if I'm still walking like a duckling when I do not watch myself but my awareness is up and it feels good to stretch while I meditate so. I'll keep doing it. The wall stand is taking a lot with regards to remembering how to keep my shoulders & hips, and breathe, but my shoulders are a lot more relaxed. Need to do more shoulder stretches/mobility stuff. I have not been good about thinking about the posture cues. I'm down to about 66,5 kg. Which is good. Not using MFP as well as I could but I've been telling my partner what I've been eating. And when I go hard in the first part of the day, trying to keep it to veggies or water in the second part. Stuff like that. Works for me apparently.
  9. It seems like I accurately predicted this would be Part 1 of getting out of the tutorial zone. I really, really do not even want to go on interviews before I have a thesis topic. And I have not even looked that closely yet. So the new plan is: to have found one in October. No excuses. That means not looking at side jobs, not wondering about traineeships or w.e. until I have one. For this I have to get into flow for at least 2 hours a day. Because all the other essays and thesis, I had SOME ideas ready-to-go. The topic for my notarial master thesis had been brewing for maybe 2 years before I picked it. Now I really have no idea and it bothers me In the mean time, other stuff will present themselves to fill my time (besides time with family and friends). I don't have to worry about that. I still have the career coaching thing. My own journal project. I will get on a commission for a student association and learn how to use Adobe Indesign. I can always get back on the neighbour mediation boat. I can learn German. I can reorganise the house as much as I want to. Sports. Passion projects. Hobbies. Yup! EDIT: And I have almost no regular costs. No rent to pay. And I probably won't get the paid tai chi since it turns out the plan's not what I thought I was. You DO get a monthly subscription. And the C.measures are getting more stern again, and they are talking about going back to the way it was in March if the current sterner measures (that are going to be for 3 weeks) do not bring the R back down under 1. Soooo.... Yeah.
  10. Sorry as well Lovely picture. EDIT: and congrats, Emma!! We really need someone to help teach my sis. Mom and I are both scaredy cats IUD thoughts:
  11. What happened was: I fell asleep (at 15:00ish) and only woke up shortly twice - for 10 mins at 19:00 and for an hour at 2:00- until 6:30AM this morning. So,like, what is planning the week and getting little things done in the weekend? No idea. :D It was truly great to see my friend and have a good walk & see some cultural stuff but it wiped. Me. Out. Apparently.
  12. "There's no way to go for a win in our own lives if we don't even know, in a deep sense, what constitutes a win -- what is, in fact, harmonious with our innermost values. And if we can't make and keep commitments to ourselves as well as to others, our commitments become meaningless. We know it; others know it. They sense duplicity and become guarded. There's no foundation of trust and win-win becomes an ineffective superficial technique. Integrity is the cornerstone in the foundation." ... Many people think in dichotomies, in either/or terms. They think if you're nice, you're not tough. But win-win is nice...and tough. It's twice as tough as win-lose. To go for win-win, you not only have to be nice, you have to be courageous. You not only have to be empathic, you have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you have to be brave. To do that, to achieve that balance between courage and consideration, is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win." -Covey 🤩 EDIT: when I finish this ebook I will probably get this in hard copy. Good stuff. Overview. I am at 64% now and kinda want to finish the book today but I'm tired. I will have a nap and see what happens.
  13. You said it perfectly, and I agree with Tank, and also want to know what you put in your bath! We don't have a bath tub, but I recently discovered I can still enjoy a shadow of the awesomeness that is a tub if I do a foot bath...With blankets/pillows to be comfy Going to try adding a face steaming component to the make believe sometime soon.
  14. OHHHH I HAVE AN IDEA. You know how students often go on 1 year trips around the world? And that's not very practical or safe atm, also I have never really thought seriously about it but still, I am sure it's a very enriching experience. What if I make challenges where I read Around the World in 80 days? (which I had started as an audiobook, then used as a go to sleep book, then stopped because I read several books at the same time spanning in years usually, that's how I roll.) I will follow the trajectory Fogg follows, and during the 80 days of about three challenge I will read something about the (current state) of the countries he visits in a 35 day period, and their culture and so on. And I will imagine what I would do there. Maybe, that will even get me excited and less reserved of doing it for real one day. Who knows. But even the "travelling using my mind" sounds like real cool and also enriching in a way. And let's not forget... Free. I might even get inspired try recipes or so or try to learn folk dances if there are YT videos or so. The possibilities are endless. I might also just put this idea in my idea box and never follow through with it. But I wanted to share. PS - anyone who is more initiative than me, feel free to do something like this in my stead
  15. Before I start getting ready for my trip to a friend, I want to say I am real happy with they way I handled yesterday's (albeit digital) firm tour. Naturally, my mantra was still "nothing makes me uncomfortable". And afterwards, I did not spend obsessing over how I spoke and what I said. It ís a thinking habit that I have, like I can learn from that by repeating what I said over and over again, but usually it spirals into me beating myself up and convincing myself I should just stop trying (and I cannot/do not want to. I KNOW deathbed-me will not be amused if I do so ) I think I started doing something like what I usually do but I thought of what the Friday tai chi teacher said: there is always something that is trying to pull you out of balance. Balance is dynamic. You simply have to breathe and get back to your center. And so I did. Also: I finally internalisased this thought/it sunk in: I am not going to look for (a) place(s) where I fit in. ESPECIALLY when I try fitting in, I don't. When I let go, things flow. And still, I don't fit in entirely, like some people seem to do. And it's human to want to do so, but it's not a very good idea to try to. There is only one me. And I know I have a lot to offer. Especially when my brain is not burdened with thoughts about how others see me or think about how or what I said. I will look for a place that has the resources I need to grow and bring value to others around me, my family and friends. And maybe reach further once possible. And to realise the material goals I have, second. [EDIT: does not mean I will find it right away haha, I need to start getting work experience and moneys asap but that is the "message I will be sending out to the Universe" ] And I will *manifest myself*. It sounds weird when I say it like that and I don't exactly know what that includes, other than taking space, unapologetically. Besides, in a previous post in another thread I concluded I don't like the commitments that "fitting into a group" come with. When I was younger I managed to kinda get into a group for a year, but then I got all weird and felt the need to make a demonstration when the group was not acting in line with my values, - I guess because I was now associated with them by all other kids and felt bad that I picked the wrong crowd - and they felt like I was saying I was better and above all of them. (Which, well, I did think my behaviour was above theirs. But not as a person? ) Not a good look. Self-knowledge is important.