analoggirl

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About analoggirl

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    Malcontent
  • Birthday 07/01/1994

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    assassin

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  1. analoggirl

    A. Redefinition

    Oof, no exercise for me this week it seems. Genuinely sad. And I ate a loooot of chocolate. Family went to a chocolate factory and brought home delicious stuff. Buuut writing this assignment is even more 'meh' than the other. So I indulged and 1 pm I stopped myself and have not snacked yet so I should make it until tomorrow! Also had veggies and fruit. The assignmemt makes me feel incredibly incapable. This is not my area. The system of this law does not make sense to me, even though when someone explains it to me I understand why it is the way it is. Although I know I am not aiming to specialise in this subject matter, and I expected this. family law (and therefore inheritence stuff too) stuff always makes me overthink and feel less than happy about people being people. BUT it serves a purpose and I will make it. It is a group assignment too and my team mates get it. See that also makes me feel bad. I am usually able to contribute a lot and usually take a leading role but now I am just doing stuff in order to justify me getting the same grade as them. I feel uncomfortable but oh well. This weeks battle may be a Pyrrhic victory if any at all, but I am not going to give up.
  2. analoggirl

    Osu

    In that, Scripture is just like any other literature [EDIT: correction: any written piece. I am of the camp that finds that no words are clear as they are. Words require discussion, and agreement/consensus. Meaning depends on context, can very from person to person, family to family, micro to macro societies, cultures and so on.] As much as I try to look at it objectively and have tried to read commentaries that take in account, without ad hominems or straw men etc., dissenting views... But then again, awareness is important. When you realise you are bound to be partial, your views colored and so forth, you can take measures to minimalise the effect of that subjectivity Fun times, thanks for the conversation. Am looking forward to when I will have time to do more again than just read some verses and then move on.
  3. analoggirl

    Osu

    Well, I do enjoy reading about interpretations. Almost feel inclined to study some form of theology. However! I was not referencing the bit about the (by some, proclaimed and necessary) submisison of men to women That bit can be discussed indeed, and viewed through patriarchal lenses or not. (One could say it's a bit unequal to have wives submit to their husbands IN ALL THINGS, while the husbands submit to their wives like they do to the church, cleansing her and whatnot, but that's semantics anyhow.) I was referring to the fact that the man is the head of the family, he stands in front of God, if I understand correctly. The woman needs the man (or her father) as a medium between herself and God when it comes to responsibilities. So the man is basically the manager, although the woman speaks and converses directly with the Director, she has to answer to her husband. I don't know, for some reason I feel like I'm setting myself up for trouble if I start living according to a philosophy where my partner is responsible for my good or wrong doings. You can have a real informal and equal partnership with your manager, however he is first in the ladder and gets reprimanded for by the higher up if you mess up. Also, I kind of like my relationship consisting of two persons that are not submitting to each other. Because in my experience, being submitted to places quite the burden on someone. We're both responsible for our own actions, and need to own up to it when we make mistakes. If someone is so hurt by my actions he feels he cannot suffer being in a relationship with me, then I would not want him to stay because he has Submitted himself to me, and vice versa. That kind of thing. I'm still working it out :p Not to say I am so mischivious that I would have my man constantly worrying for the lord's smite haha, but I think it's just better if we're just our own people.
  4. analoggirl

    Osu

    Yeah I also get why it happened the way it did. And why sometimes it still happens. (EDIT: deleted two paragraphs of musings that I do not feel like ordering in a coherent manner ) Being concious of the problems and striving to be the best we can be with the knowledge and experience we have (and not giving up when we make mistakes or feel like it's a drop in the bucket) = breaking the cycle. Stil does not unmake the harm that has been done but I am learning to just take everything a step at a time.
  5. analoggirl

    Osu

    Yup! The reason I mentioned the religious upbringing factor is because the abrahamic religions sort of... make it impossible to be a Godly Woman without a man, which would put pressure on me to find a man and therefore make it more difficult for me to just Go with The Flow. At least as far as I have studied the bible until now & the various views on godly womanhood and manhood. That is what I got from it. So, although I am seeking "the truth", and as a christened European I find a lot of wisdom in Christian texts, I feel free to form my own view on that topic which gives me freedom to act from a place of abundence and not fear to end up alone. Again, that is all my interpretation and understanding. But I believe a relationship of mine cannot work if I absolutely need a man to live according to my life philosohy (and/or religion). Or if the man feels obliged to stay with me because that is the word of God. Because then I would have felt quite the phobia everytime my ex threatened to leave me, not only because I loved him but also because I would not have a man to rapport to? (Or is it not, man is responsible to God, woman is responsible to husband who is responsible to God?) I do not know. Luckily I have a lifetime to study about it/meditate/pray etc. And I would not know for sure my partner is staying with me for us. And that is kind of important to me? I just cannot reconcile the thought of that just being my human arrogance or me "insisting to rely on my own power instead of submitting to the Lord." I do not MIND depending on a partner. I would not mind being a stay at home parent, even. I would treat that "occupation" with the utmost care. Just have this pesky idea in my mind that both my partner and I must have the choice to leave whenever we would truly want to. So staying together is a concious act. (and that involves motivating each other to stay involved, have some emergency finances, have a social life, etc.) But that is again, background and not seeking to be convinced
  6. analoggirl

    Respawned: Building the Habit

    I'll add my stance to the mix. The toddler is the one bugging you about not getting enough care and not having enough fun. The negative self-limiting belief is quantifying what you WANT to (playing the piano) as useless or serving no purpose. You get to shape your reality! And some things are just meant to be done. Like learning how to play the piano. I cannot help you with the workthendie paradigm though. We just have to find a way to be the change we want to see. Dunno how yet.
  7. analoggirl

    Digital Battle Log

    Bah, for some reason I have avoided doing anything with my down times to make my life easier. There is so much to study. I feel good when I read summaries or cases on the train after my seminars. Looking forward to having some fun with Zumba on friday...
  8. analoggirl

    Digital Battle Log

    Yeah. Think women usually moving to where the men live, having kid(s) & not being able to go home because they cannot leave their kid nor take their kid with them. Cause it is unreasonable to have the dad to travel hours in order to make use of his right to visit his kids. (And obviously would be awful if it was the man wanting to leave with the kids as well.) Makes sense, but tough stuff.
  9. analoggirl

    Digital Battle Log

    I have less than 4 hours left to sleep.
  10. analoggirl

    Digital Battle Log

    These few days have been getting me off on philosophic tangents. It is also partially the material of my course. Talking about inheritences and of course divorces and new spouses and such. And international divorces and such. Just gotta give my head to read about some company law articles or so soon. People are interesting, and I like to do good, but ahhh human relations...
  11. analoggirl

    Osu

    Can imagine. But I have also seen some marriages where the 2 people are perfectly happy that way. They call the wife the neck and the man the head and all is good. I just like discussion and do not find satisfaction in getting my way just for the sake of it. And I do believe people miss out on a deeper more satisfying connection when they avoid discussion just for the lack of knowledge how. There are so many online resources about effective communication, effective discussion, not using fallacies in arguments and how to decide what needs to be said and what will solve itself with time. Communication. Clarity. Not necessarily talking out evrry detail but the core issues before they become a problem. Not just (in my view, and I know it sounds judgemental) lazily accepting we are like Venus and Mars and not even trying to understand each other and adapting Around our seeming differences. But yeah. Life is not A textbook and some dates & relationships are simply meant to be lessons. About yourself and others. EDIT: I do sound like I am bragging like I am special (to my own eyes) but I have found what works for me & I am still learning. Just giving background info and in case anyone sees anything useful at all. To share. Otherwise feel free to ignore my novel about myself up there.
  12. analoggirl

    Osu

    I second @Urgan , I wish you a future person that you can just relax around and have a "click" with. Based on what I have read you aim to treat people with respect & care and are not afraid to have a long conversation in order to reach understanding. (Eff that advice that men have to learn how to say "Yes darling" in order to have a happy marriage. My opinion, will not judge people that think that way.)
  13. analoggirl

    Osu

    Oh nooo I totally missed the socialism vs.capitalism debate. Will have to check it out! Yeah, I also see your battle log as a safe space. However, I do not want to abuse it haha With regards to courting rituals, I personally do not like being won over with fancy dates and gifts over good conversation, similar views on (home) finances, similar ideas about a potential future generation, similar sexual interests & strength of character because I am not afraid I will not be able to provide for myself and/or a family. I know how to provide stability for myself (and a partner who maybe has not learnt how to but is willing to, because a relationship has to be team work) and budget and manage taxes etc. However, good conversation can also be had with a good friend so to avoid misunderstanding & to act with understanding towards guys that are afraid to take the first step due to the current social climate, I opt for taking the first step. And luckily where I live that is not seen as unwomanly or whatever. It is also completely within the culture to just split bills with your best friends and even when you are married here so there is that. Also, I have not been brought up religious so my views are probably again, colored by humanist points of views, in combination with moderated hedonism (avoid pointless displeasure, strive for pleasure and joy in life in moderation. Aka eat cake but not one or two cakes because you do not want your stomache to hurt.) So all of that probably colours my views. maybe as a bit of background? So again, I do understand your dilemmas and unwillingness to give up on the idea that there was nothing. Communication is necessary! (EDIT: Though of course we need to take care of & protect people that are not outspoken, and correct once we realise we are wrong, we can also not take all of the blame if we simply could not know. But that is why I also take the bold step of asking a guy where "we are" without an ultimatum, just informatively so to know whether we are on the same page or not? And it is okay not to know. But then I know he is on that page and I get to make an informed decision whether I want to keep going or not. Rinse and repeat. Communication!)
  14. analoggirl

    Digital Battle Log

    Hmmm well, when I have actually made a grave mistake I do always admit I have and understand if someone gets angry with me. After all "the road to hell is built on good intentions" :p Though I do get what you mean
  15. analoggirl

    Digital Battle Log

    Aha. Good to hear another perspective!