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Possibly! How did you get them? I am still just figuring everything out

I definitely think walking is key. I feel like walking does so much more for you than burn calories. We were made to walk. I think I might need some motivational quotes. I am naturally a very pessimistic and negative person. I think things would be easier if I could get used to thinking from a positive point of view. Thanks for the suggestions and the welcome!

Thank you! I am so intrigued by kettleballs. I'm sticking with bodyweight exercises right now, but I would love to learn how to use those at some point.

Thank you! Yeah, I don't think I will do a strict paleo, at least for a while. Right now our household is focusing on cutting down on carbs and basing meals around vegetables and protein. I feel like anything too strict would cause me to binge or give up. So I am not even going there for now. I love yoga and I try to incorporate it into my day, even if it is only doing neck stretches while breathing mindfully. I am going to start walking more too. Today was my first day back at the gym in a long time so I stretched, took a short walk, and then did a couple circuits of body weight exercise. Trying my best to go slow and steady.

Thank you!

This is EXACTLY how I am. I finally started with my beginner bodyweight workout today, and let me tell you, it was so hard not to beat myself up for not doing it perfectly. Thanks for your encouragement.

Hi y'all, My story starts off with a cliche. About a week and a half ago, my partner of almost eight years proposed and I accepted. For the first time in a long time, I felt so happy and excited and hopeful. Like there were things to look forward to again. I looked around my house and realized, I need to get my shit together. Suddenly, I wanted to be better, for the sake of myself, for him, and for our impending marriage. Let me back up a little. I've been seriously depressed since at least 2012, if not before. Around that time I was living with my parents, struggling to finish my degree, working a restaurant job I hated, all while my dad was undergoing treatment for colon cancer. I witnessed first hand my dad's suffering through harsh treatments and his disease while the rest of my family members grieved. I did my best to help out my family as a way to cope with my grief, but looking back that was one of the darkest times of my life. When my dad eventually died I was relieved. I finally felt that there might be an end to the suffering one day. When he died I was unemployed and living with my partner. For five months after that I did little besides lay in bed. I didn't go outside at all that summer. Eventually I realized I need to return to life and I went to the doctor to seek antidepressants. I got some medication and a month later I was hired with two jobs, both outside of the restaurant industry and in the job sector I really wanted to work in. For about a year now I've been working full-time, still dealing with depression, but managing it through medication and therapy. I didn't realize what a funk I was still in until we decided to get married, and suddenly it was as if the clouds had parted and I remembered what all there is to life again. I remembered that I haven't even hit all the good parts of life yet. And suddenly, I wanted to lose weight. I am a recovered overeater and undereater: basically fat person former dieter with eating issues. It has taken me so long to lose the diet mentality and even though I am excited about getting healthy, I am very nervous that if I start dieting and exercising again it will resurrect some of my old issues. The other piece is that I have failed many, many times to lose weight, and I am now at my highest weight ever. I am afraid of failing another time. Right now I'm still in the contemplation stage. I am interested in a paleo diet because it seems to be efficient for building muscle and losing weight, and also because I am all about cooking at home and using whole foods rather than diet foods. I am nervous about food restriction. I think for exercise I want to start with body weight exercising and move on to lifting, because it seems to be most efficient, but I'm nervous about getting started. Basically I am super weak right now, from years of being basically sedentary, and I have an old knee injury that I'm afraid of aggravating. I would like to eventually add some cardio, like running or swimming, but I feel like making all of these changes would be a tall order for just getting started. Writing this down is my baby step for today. I think it might make sense to take pictures and keep track of my weight and measurements--maybe I can work up the courage to do that later this week.