Happienumber

I just mailed my brother a potato and an exploding box of glitter my depression is cured.

i hope sometime soon. I took a hard core med to sleep last night with hope of sleeping ten hours but the dog — and this is SO weird for him— woke me up every hour on the hour to let him outside and because that’s so strange (I’ve been housing for this dog on an off for half a year now) I actually did get up to let him out, but half the time he just stood on the porch for a minute and looked around. honesyly if I had t had three lorazepam in me and was kneeling at the door 80% asleep trying to get the dog back in, I would have been freaked out by this. It was almost like he kept hearing things outside he needed to inspect. My panic side would have said hired assassin swat team, but my logical side especially in The light of being not killed last night says bear or moose, maybe coy dog pack. and of course now he’s asleep lol Other than that that at least I had no nightmares despite sleeping in only 45 minute intervals and the meds made me fall back to sleep unrealistically fast every time I got back in bed.

Probably electrolytes and fake sweetener respectivly? The sports ones I think are a little salty because of the electrolytes, I like that though LOL. AWW YISSSS

PRobably right as I messed with it for ten minutes and bonked myself on the head pretty immediately. The thing is LONG and HEAVY holy moly. It's going to need a different skill set for sure, and I'll need to be on my game to do it. This was a really good suggestion, I didn't realize how much I was a solid knot and how much everything hurt until I started stretching. All I've wanted to do all day was sleep, I even tried to take a nap but my heartrate went sky high and I couldn't get it down for like a half hour after. So frustrating.

80/180 minutes so far for the week, planning on doing some saberstaff this afternoon after work. That is if I don't fall asleep but I am excited because I haven't played with the saberstaff yet since the blades came for it.

LOL nice Do you know if they actually make that? because that would be my new favorite mio. OMG.

Went out to play in the woods this morning, I couldn’t let this opportunity go when I’m staying at this house. yes I got out there at like 6:30 so it was dark enough for this LOL.

Ugh that is so frustrating. But you might find out that one is causing the other or visa versa, I used to think I had bad hips but it was only lower back actually. Or I had a friend who thought they had back issues and it turned out they just had one hip issue and once that was fixed their back didn't hurt anymore. So maybe it still might be a one-off repair. But I suppose only time will tell. Once you get the knots/muscle tightness sorted, you can see if there are still alignment issues.

If you check the thickness with a drill you should be fine. My education in this was to use your hockey stick to brace over the hole LOL but that was sport specific haha. I have used a stick from shore for this when my brother fell through. Maybe bring a long stick with you if you're going a ways from shore? Ski poles maybe? Can also be used to hand to someone who's fallen in.

Sorry I fricked off into oblivion, I fell into a bit of a depression cave and watched so much television. I am NOT a huge tv watcher in general but I think since I posted last I watched all of stranger things, all of squid game, and the first 3.5 seasons of the blacklist. Like....that seems like too many hours. I mean, not even in the "wow I watched too much tv" way but in a "I posted on saturday and it's wednesday how did I actually do that that's like almost 100 hours of television. " sort of way. I MUST have watched some of that last week and didn't realized it was on Thursday or friday but STILL. Too much TV. And I didn't even enjoy myself. 45/180 minutes so far for the week, I emerged from my cave this afternoon for some reason and decided to practice 9-count lightsaber attack form basics. First time trying it, so my form is sloppy, but boy it doesn't look like much yet I was sweating after 45 minutes of this: I want to start practicing these in very slow deliberate moves like every day if I can motivate myself to do so. I can usually get around to this way of thinking after a nights sleep but it seems to have derailed me a few days this time.... And I honestly think THIS has a lot to do with it. Honestly the issue with this particular spiral is that the closer the people are to me the worse it is, so the people I would normally trust more are the people I'm suddenly the most convinced hate me. It's a pretty textbook symptom of my BPD and something I need to write down to discuss with my therapist on Monday. If I had thought of it, I could have talked to her about it TODAY but of course it didn't cross my mind LOL. I'm enjoying my time house-sitting, although it's going massively fast-- possibly because I dissociated most of the last three days lol. Instant time travel. I can't belive I'm leaving this job tomorrow already. Pingpong is fruit ninja and I'll die on this hill LOL I just have to learn what bombs to avoid. Today, at least this afternoon, is better. Thanks. The last three days: At around 3pm today: For no definable reason. But I'm hoping it sticks lol.

Ending week one at 225/180 for training minutes. part of this is sort of a cheat but I’m counting it. because I’m house sitting I’m no longer in the “fully no contact with outside world” COVID bubble so I’m took this opportunity to visit some friends who are fully vaccinated and also work from home so I felt safe doing it. I discovered I’m both extremely good and horrifically bad at ping pong. I apparently have better reflexes than I thought, yet also don’t know the rules at all. My one friend was like “holy crap, you’ve gotta give it to her, she’s hitting everything.” But I guess there’s a whole lot of them you’re not supposed to hit because it was out of bounds and the other team loses a point or you get a point or something if you DONT touch it. But my brain was like “single track, fruit ninja GO!” The others were staying in like their own 5 foot radius and I was running all over the place, jumping up to hit ones way over my head, drenched with sweat lol 😂 I somehow made it into a major workout. We played for two hours and I’m counting it as training because some of the movements were very similar to staff work, and it’s good hand eye coordination training.

that sounds like it could be really debilitating if it continued on. 😬

Thank the trees. Would they have even had a treatment for you if it kept continuing?

It seems we have near-identical reactions to medical malfunctions that are supposed to be concerning. "Oh it seems I didn't. Interesting development." "Moving on."

And THAT is a scary kind of headache, those are literally all the symptoms that drs say "don't ignore this go to the ER" because of like aneurisms and stuff. Holy yikes. I'm so glad it wasn't something more serious. I do wonder if it's something sort of genetic, if you sister and mother get migraines and you get these ice-pick headaches, the correlation there makes me wonder how connected they are. Aquarii's sound scary, but mine I just kind of find annoying LOL. Like "ugh I'm trying to type and I lost the use of half my fingers. Inconvenient."

And it's been like at least 6 doctors now. I'm like...do none of you find this curious???? There's always something you need at home depot. It's a wonderland. This is so terrifying! I can see how everyone would assume stroke. I've had this happen a few times with migraines, CRAZY stuff migraines can do. But the entire-side-of-body thing has only been one or two times, usually if things go numb it's three fingers on one hand (and half the hand) or three toes (and half the foot) idk what's so special about three. That happens sometimes even when the migraine isn't even very severe pain-wise. OMG that must have been so frustrating! There's nothing quite so irritating as going to the ER and finding out it was exactly nothing. But I mean...biologically speaking it does make sense doesn't it? Because migraines have something to do with restricted blood flow and/or chemical/hormonal imbalances, and if certain areas of the brain (like motor control) aren't getting enough blood or are overwhelmed/starved for chemicals they need, they would malfunction. I can assume almost anything could happen from a migraine, it's in your central processing unit after all.

I want a cartoon about these two. Black cat is a supervillian but a la "megamind." Grey cat is is one-braincelled henchman who takes no convincing to do any ridiculous thing asked of him.

This is why my measuring stick for "should I be concerned about this" is very distorted lol.

YAY!! That bread LOOKS AMAZING!!!!

It probably is. I'm so used to having so many headaches -- I get them from Stress Not drinking enough (which is always) Some chemical scents but not all it's soap roulette Lack of sleep (which is always) Getting too warm Reading too long I forgot to breathe Head just felt like it today -- that if I ever do have a brain tumor or an aneurism I'll almost certainly just lay down and try to sleep it off. One time when I was visiting my friend in Albania and had just avoided being human trafficked so I was kind of stressed and hadn't drank enough ect, I had the worst migraine of my life and went blind, and instead of like, calling the dr, I just laid on their living room floor and was like "lol I hope this passes because it will be very inconvenient for my friends to find my corpse in the morning. If this turns out to be not a regular migraine, sorry guys haha."

135/180 minutes for today. I did a little more kali stick work. Rewatching the video I'm seeing that I'm not chambering the stick at my hip low enough. It went from bad > better when I started thinking about it as circles like basic flow got my sliding the stick up and down the side of my body smoother, but still not low enough.

Just 15 minutes today, although I'm going to try to do a little more inside now. My gloves were just NOT cutting it and about halfway through they were horrifyingly painful from the cold. It's been two hours since I came in and my fingers still hurt. I was rewatching my old videos and the tutorials on whip blind and I realized I had my throwing hand near my shoulder, whereas she has it starting from the hip/mid torso. So I've been trying to practice starting the throw from lower down. But since I've been doing that I'm whacking my shoulder-- somehow it's not interfereing with how I'm catching it and you can't even see it in some of the videos but I could feel it. I'm guessing it's because I'm not moving my tossing arm enough into my back plane, which is almost definitly due to crappy shoulder mobility as that's my bad shoulder. More reason to stretch?? I'm kind of disappointed that the double throw on the knife is barely noticeable. For the difficulty increase, I was hoping it would look flashier.