QuietRiotGrrrl

Well, I'm not quite up to what I want to be doing, but I've been keeping up with running twice a week. I'm still not very good at waking up in the morning. And if my stomach hurts or I wake up with a headache, I've been letting that turn my third run into a sleeping in day. I will just have to keep working on that. I am still loving the running. I watched Brittney Runs A Marathon this past week and her running song has been going through my head a lot. That actually helps. Especially the doom chorus at the end. Makes me want to run more. My friend that has been living with us (that eats all the sugar and carbs and grease all the time) is moving out this weekend. He found some roommates that he also works with so he has a built in ride to work. I am so looking forward to having control of my kitchen back. And my person is looking forward to alone time and just us time. He is not such a social creature. Having another person there every day all day has kind of been driving him a little crazy. I'm most happy about being in charge of the groceries and cooking personally. As nice as it is to not be in charge of all the planning and buying and cooking, I am definitely feeling the lack of vegetables. Yarn is still going pretty good. A little slow, but I think part of that is that I just have not had the energy to put into socializing and participating online and advertising lately. I'm just feeling drained and exhausted all the time. Hopefully having our house back and eating better will help with that a bit. And I am looking forward to vaccines and lower numbers meaning we might even have an event or 2 later this year. My first yarn event cancelled for April already, but I'm watching things. If our county and the surrounding counties can go from orange to yellow, I will figure out some kind of safe masked tent event to do in it's place. My halloween watch along has started. Not much participation yet, but I still enjoy it. I always like new movies and I've already has several suggestions to watch. It's just more fun when other people watch and comment along. So hopefully at some point that will happen again. I think I've got the colors sorted out for this years release, I'm going to start working on the pattern this weekend. Making new patterns is always enjoyable. I miss people time. Knit nights and game nights and watching movies with friends. Even just going out to dinner with someone. I'm sure most people are missing people time right now. Hopefully we can have together activities again soon.

I'm going to re-do my workout schedule. I've been running but not lifting and I need to do both. I think I'm liking running a bit more right now because it doesn't require any thought in the mornings. Just get dressed and run. No math or cleaning recycling out of the liftin area or loading the barbell. I still love lifting though, so I need to just get back to doing it. I'm not beating myself up about enjoying a week of my new treadmill though. We bonded. Now she just needs a name.

I missed a couple lift last week. One I replaced with moving furniture around to make room for the treadmill (YAY!) but the other time slot was replaced with assembling the treadmill, not a lot of lifting much in there. This week, I have only missed today's lifting. Not replaced with anything yet. I did that thing last night where I'm just going to read a little bit then I end up reading all night. I slept very little. So I let myself sleep this morning rather than lift. I will be doing my yoga tonight before bed however and my second morning run is tomorrow. I was noticeably more energetic all day long after my first run. I am so happy to have the treadmill at home.

I did all my lifting last week and I'm up to date for this week as well. My sign with my lifting schedule keeps falling down. I need to remake that and stick it up there better. I did both my yoga's last week and I plan to do my first for this week tonight. Also, my treadmill will apparently be delivered Friday afternoon. Yay. So I need to spend tonight clearing out that space so its ready. Yarn was a lot of fun this past weekend, but I think I'll go back to a shorter event whenever I do another. It was fun to see friends and to chat with the other vendors though. Not much else going on, just that quick update for now.

OK, well off to a slow start. But I've cleared out the garage lifting area again - it keeps getting covered with tools and recycling stuff. I wrote out a lifting schedule for 3 days each week and how much to lift for the next 6 weeks. And I did the first lift Monday after work. Since I can't seem to wake up early I'm just going to start doing my stuff after work. Monday I started dinner cooking and then went to lift. Finished about 45 minutes later just as dinner was ready for the next step. So that was good. Me starting late means that I am having DOMs today and tomorrow instead of over a weekend as I had originally planned, but that doesn't matter. I did it and I will just keep doing it. Tonight I'm grabbing up a dry erase board and putting it up by the weights with my lifting schedule on it. Then I can just cross off the days as they go. I will either repeat the 6 week schedule or test one rep max's at the end and re-do my amounts. I suppose that will depend on how I feel doing it again. I'm not sure if I'll want another session to get back into it or if I'll be ready to do more. I did one thing that will hopefully help me get running again. I've realized that the thing I dread about running is other people being able to see me run. I don't really tend to care what other people think of me, but for some reason my brain does not want people seeing me run. I have been saving up for what feels like forever and I finally found a decent treadmill on sale. I'm not sure how long it will take them to ship it to me, but the wait will give me time to get a space cleared out in the office for it to live.I am very much looking forward to running from zombies again. I'm planning to add running 2 days a week and make yoga the other 2. We'll see how it goes once I've got it set up. For now I'm adding yoga to my non-lifting days. Tonight after work and after I get all the helping other people and figuring out lunches and dinner and printing things for my tent show this weekend, I will kick everyone out of the living room so I can yoga. My last scheduled tent event is this coming weekend and I am so excited about it! I was just going to throw up a tent and see what happened, but we have already added 2 other vendors (one on the street out front, one in the grass) and lots of people have asked about coming by. I've set up a drawing for free yarn and prizes for anyone who comes by in a costume and signs up. So that should be a lot of fun. And once I get a few labels and patterns printed I'll have everything I need ready for the show. I just have to put up a few Halloween decorations and get the right container for the drawing. I really hope this goes well. I have thought about doing another sometime before Christmas, but I can't decide when, so this might be my last event for the year. All of the 2020 yarn events rescheduled for 2021, but I'm still kind of worried about buying and prepping yarn for them too far in advance because I don't want to be left with all the overstock and not enough undyed skeins. It's a little hard to get new undyed skeins right now. So, well, hopefully this goes good enough that I can afford to not sell until the next event in 2021. But we'll see.

OK, I didn't lose my shoe, but I lost my motivation, discipline, whatever I was working on. I have been doing nothing recently and I really need to get back at things. In my obsession update, yarn has been going pretty good. All the shows cancelled this year of course, but I've had one tent event and I'm having a second next month. I love talking to other yarn people. Sales are a little slow off and on, but that seems pretty normal during a pandemic. Supply is also spotty to re-stock. It's the same for everyone I think. But I' still loving doing everything related to yarn and since it's not my main source (or even a big source) of income, I just keep enjoying it and try not to stress too much about it. In my home update, a friend who is a cook has moved in. Not a lot of cook jobs with all the restaurants either closed or at a low capacity. He moved to Indiana from Seattle and today he tours at a new job he will be starting soon. A factory, so nothing food related. But a good job with benefits. So that's cool. I never thought he would come here for more than a visit. He was born and raised in Seattle and little Bloomington Indiana is nothing like what he is used to. But its been fun to have him here. I miss my Seattle friends. My aunt also moved in with my mom nearby. She just retired and broke up with her person. Mom is having a hard time adjusting to having another person in the house, especially since they are apparently very different politically. I get enough of that at work. I could not imagine having that at home too. In health, not much has been going on. I've been slacking. I mean, I've been busy with yarn and housework and puppies and people. But I have not been running or lifting. Now that the weather is finally getting cooler, I have no excuse other than I miss having a running buddy so I'm not alone in the dark morning. I'm still saving but that's been slower this year and I still don't have quite enough for a good treadmill at home yet. Something always seems to some up that needs that money more and I put it off. I'm close, but just not quite there. I have the lifting equipment at home already though. So there is no excuse for that. I just need to do better. So, I'm posting here again and hopefully I will do better now. I'm planning to spend the rest of this week cleaning up and Friday lift again. I'm thinking Friday so that I can live through DOMs over the weekend (since I'm sure I will have some as its been so very long) and be good to continue lifting 3 times a week starting Monday. So, that's the plan anyhow. Do better. I can do that. Right?

I appreciate the support! Thank you. You guys are awesome. Been tired this week still, just due to general business. Lots of yarn dying, labelling, organizing and planning. Tonight and tomorrow I have social things I will just be knitting on my club pattern during. Then Saturday and Sunday back to dying yarn. I did run Tuesday and today. Both not my best, but Tuesday I ran .27 of the mile and today I ran .3. Not better, but not worse. Even if I'm tired after running in the morning, I feel better overall afterwards. I fell like I need to find a way to get more sleep but I haven't yet. I fell like I complain about being tired more than anything else and I'm kind of sick of it myself. I know I need to figure out a different schedule, I'm just not sure where to start yet. I suppose I can just be tired until after this show in April. Then when I have my days off to inventory and plot what needs dyed for the next show I can also use that time to look at my schedule. There must be something I can change that will let me get to bed sooner or something. I just have to find it. I'm sure it would also help if I got up early all days instead of just the 3 gym days. Everyday I walk past my weights in the garage and I miss them. Maybe just that will help. I'll change my alarms right now and get up early tomorrow to lift. No one will care if I'm tired at D&D. OK, changing alarms now. And I'll just have to struggle through the time change next week. Tired is almost a default state right now. IT's not going to hurt anything to be a little more tired for a week or so.

Jupiter - It's a real small office and 3/5 of them have been in it together since the business opened in the 90s. They are super close and have even made announcements that they would fire all the rest of us first if there were any business issues. It's not a good work space if you dissent at all. I'm just trying to keep my frustrations contained as long as I'm here. Finding something that has flexible hours and pays well is a little rough in this town. I'm looking. Tank - They definitely wrap themselves up in their own religious and political beliefs and completely dismiss anything outside of it. I was raised by a Lutheran minister but I'm not a church person anymore and haven't been for many years. The things they say and the things from the sermons she plays every morning are like nothing I've ever heard at any church I've attended. It's just frustrating to be around. Sorry for the ranting. I've just been so tired lately and some days my ability to deal with their behavior is low. Definitely not at peak patience this week.

Did the gym twice this week. Mom wanted to sleep in Wednesday and I went with it. I've been staying up dying yarn and organizing so I was good with a little extra sleep. I still ran the 2 days we did go. Tuesday I ran .27 of the mile. Today I can .30 of the mile. So a little better. Still very slow, but I'm not worried about speed right now. Just the actual doing it. I'm down to mostly semi-solids to dye for the show, which is good. I still want to do a few more duplicates of clubs and donation skeins and hopefully a couple mini skein sets as well. But I want to get the main colors set up first. I'm almost finished with the test knit I've been working on. Just 30 more rows and blocking. Then I've finally sorted the color I want to use and have the idea all sketched up. Hopefully once I get started knitting the club pattern it looks like I'm picturing. My days job is still frustrating. There is just this one person who keeps bringing up politics and events in the most exclusionary and hateful ways. Yesterday she started a conversation about closing the borders to keep out coronavirus. I don't even attempt to engage in the conversations anymore. I'm always "naive" and wrong no matter what I say or reference or lookup to show them. Even when I watched the the entire impeachment proceedings and tried to correct something they had only seen the fox news talking points on, they would not accept what I was saying. It's like talking to a brick wall. All they do is get upset that I've questioned them, as if I've just told them their very existence was wrong. One day I actually had to speak up and ask them to either just stop calling liberals stupid while sitting in the room next to me or at the very least let me know when they're going to start a conversation about that so I can put my headphones on and not have to listen. That ended up in a rant about Christians everywhere being held down and how I was telling her she was not allowed to have an opinion that differed from mine. So I tried again to explain, have whatever opinion you want, just warn me so I don't have to listen to the bashings because I don't want to come in to work and be called stupid everyday. And that response was "it's not everyday" and they're not talking about me. But you can't sit next to a liberal, say liberals are stupid and not expect some of that to sink in. Yesterday the words "can't tell you where I got this information but the source is to be trusted" were used in reference to conspiracy theories about the source of coronavirus and shutting the borders. Ugh. Just ugh to all of that. Ok, wow. That turned into a rant. I just meant to say, I have to hold myself back from trying to engage at all in those kinds of conversations. They don't want facts or other opinions. They just want to chit chat about conspiracy theories. I just make sure my headphones are always charged up and ready to go. I'd wear them all day long if it didn't give me a headache. And sometimes I use the specialness from work as inspiration for a new donation colorway. They definitely push me to be more political and make sure I have all the actual facts from reputable sources possible. But they are also just so exhausting some days. The complete inability to have a real conversation is just so frustrating. I want to get other people's opinions and new information I wasn't aware of. I don't want to live in an echo chamber. But I won't get anything real or worthwhile from her. I'm getting better at blocking it out, but some days its just harder. And this week I'm tired of it.

No running today, but I did go to the gym and bike. 4.23 miles and it took me 20 minutes. So, I went but I kind of slacked off. Hormones are hard.

Ran yesterday and today. Yesterday I only ran .2 of my mile and the mile took me about 17 minutes. When I say run, I really mean jog slowly. Today I did my mile and I ran .23 of it in about 17 minutes. I'm not going to worry about my speed too much, but I think I want to get to where I am running the whole mile. Then I'll just add a mile and work my way up to that. I'm not sure if we are going to the gym tomorrow morning and I won't know until later tonight. I'm almost hoping not just because shark week is supposed to begin today sometime. Day 1 is always hell. I'm not sure how much running I could do on a day 1. Maybe I'll be finding out tomorrow. My dying schedule is going pretty good getting ready for the show in April. My test knit is going slowly but as soon as I finish that I need to get on completing my club pattern. I didn't like my original idea, but I've completely changed it and I've got it sketched up. I know I have until the end of May to get the pattern finalized and sent to people, I just don't like cutting things close. I really like to have things finished way way in advance so that I can just worry about presentation and such. I'm hoping to have the test knit finished by the end of this weekend so I can ship it out and get back to my pattern. I've been a bit bummed about not selling too much yarn recently, but I know after holidays is always a little slow. Husband is back from his dad's. Surgery went well but he is still getting aftercare in the hospital. We have his dog while he's in and for an unknown amount of time after until he's feeling up to animal care. She's a sweet hairy little thing. And our dogs all get along. That's about it. My life is pretty much yarn and puppies outside of my day job. Not too shabby.

Quick update today. Only did the gym once this week. Husband is out of town taking care of his dad post surgery and that leaves me with more pup things in the morning. Not too much, just the stuff he usually takes care of so I can gym early. First gym day, I felt good. I didn't make myself run but just wanted to do my treadmill time walking and check out how I felt afterwards (first gym day post sickness). I felt fine, not even exhausted. Just a little tired. Second gym day, mom was behind on things she needed to get done for the DAR meeting that night, so we skipped the gym and made sure she had all her things ready. (She gets panic attacks and has been super stressed and on edge lately). Then she just wanted to skip today and since she is the gym membership and I'm just her guest, we both stayed home today. I just slept an extra 45 minutes and spent more time with our pups before work. But next week I will be running again and husband will be taking care of dogs in the morning. And hopefully moms stress levels will be a bit better. Tonight is mom's night (she gets one day a week where I spend the evening there) so I'm hoping to help her get anything else that's an issue handled if I can help with it. Friday her sister is coming to visit, so probably mostly house cleaning. that's about it. Friday I'll clean our house and package club yarns. Saturday and Sunday, I'm planning to dye yarn more of both days. Sunday husband comes home.

I'll take whatever support I can get! My biggest problem seems to be finding the time and energy to do things without stressing out to the point that it isn't fun anymore. I enjoy lifting and running and yoga. I just need to do it. On a regular basis. I was so sick last week that I missed 3 days of work. That's craziness for me. I usually get a cold once a year, but I rarely miss any work. This fever took me down hard. So, no gym last week. And I'm still coughing and really tired, so I let myself have this week to slack on the gym as well. Next week we go back to 3 times a week and I'll work on my running. Tonight I'm just going to try out some yoga. I always need more stretching. I'm also a little behind on my yarn dying after the sickness. But not too bad. I'm spending most nights after work this week cleaning the house up. Mike and I were both sick so its pretty much a mess. Last night was bathroom cleaning. Tonight is kitchen. Tomorrow is living room. I didn't want to touch yarn or knitting that would go to anyone else while I was sick and now we want to get everything all sanitized so I can get back to work. 2 months left to get all the yarn dyed and ready for the show in April. Plus, I think I have the yarn dyed how I want it so now I need to get the club pattern tested out. And I think I have recipes good, so I need to test my halloween kit colors and get that all ready. That pattern will have to be next. I have the yarn dyed up to test my fall wrap kit, but I haven't had time to write out the pattern so it only exists in my head at this point. And as soon as I get the correct needles, I have a test knit to work on. I have a designer friend who is planning to use some of my yarns in a new pattern soon. I'm excited about that. We are going to collaborate on some kits to sell and donate the proceeds. I always love that the most. She gets to pick who we donate to as its her pattern. I'm just glad she'll let me throw some yarns together with her to put it out. She makes such gorgeous patterns. Basically, many yarn things are coming and I need to get to work. On a non-yarn note, we are going to see the Princess Bride Friday. A local theater is playing some great movies and since we missed Labyrinth last week due to sickness, we don't want to miss this one. They played the Neverending Story before we got sick and I got so many color ideas watching it on the big screen. I love when they play my old favorites. OK, guess I should get back to work. Update soon!

Still going to the gym. We missed one day because mom has not been feeling great. But she's decided to go even if she's not doing as much as she wants to, so we won't miss again. I did week one of the zombies run c25k today. It was weird doing such short drills on the treadmill. I've never really run on a treadmill before, just outside. So it was weird anyways. But since week 1 is just 15 seconds run to 1 min walk, I felt like I was almost constantly pushing the speed change buttons. The running was good though. I missed it. And I did not plan ahead for breakfast, so I only had an english muffin. I need to prep some egg or protein shake options this weekend so I have real food after running again. I'm still worried about how much to purchase and dye ahead for the fiber shows, but I was able to talk with someone I know who has done them before and is doing them again this year. She gave me some tips. I don't think I'm going to get quite as much as she said was recommended to her, but I will get more than I was thinking previously. I'll sit down tonight or tomorrow and figure out how much I really want for sure of each base. How much I will need to sell to pay off the yarn purchase and missing work for a day and the cost of the show and travel. Then after I get ahead with my monthly and club yarns, I will get started dying for the April show. I just finished dying mini and half sets for a pattern that I want to release in the fall. I need some time to get it written up and tested before then. And I have started planning my Halloween kits, but I need to sit down and at least plan out the color recipes and make final decisions on the movies/characters I'll be naming and dying for, then I can start to plan the pattern to go with that. Ooh, and we are going to have a bonus puppy this weekend! We've watched him before and he is super cute and snuggly so we are looking forward to it. I am really liking the Rover app. Its especially great to use with friends so you don't have to ask them about money, the app just does all that. And they can just see your schedule online anytime. And I am enjoying test knitting. They pick the pattern and yarn and I just have to knit a fun new item. So, for side jobs those are my favorites. But they don't really make that much consistent money. I have been saving the dog sitting money towards Husband getting a new gaming thing next Christmas and the test knitting money goes straight into my yarn business funding. Anyhow, things are going pretty good. And I have that great feeling I get after a nice but not too hard run in the morning. My brain is awake. Some mornings even coffee can't help me wake my brain up like this. I definitely need to keep working on getting back into running. Plus, it would definitely be a good apocalypse habit to have going on.

Slacking on the posting! But still going to the gym 3 times a week. More bike and less treadmill, but that's mostly because I'm just not good at mornings. I've been letting myself slack and bike. Although any day I skip the treadmill and just machine and bike, I make sure I put the settings higher and go at least 6 miles, minimum. There is always sweat and out of breath times, so I'm thinking that is at least somewhat good. I've been busy getting ready for a much needed retreat this weekend. I thought I could relax a bit during the holiday week of work, but not really. The closet is (almost) finished. Just one shelf needs painted and installed. It is the last thing blocking my lifting area then I can start doing that again. I really need to get on that. Even keeping busy all of break, I didn't get everything finished that I was hoping for. There is always something else that needs done. Ah, well. My yarn club started and I'm still excited. No one is really participating on Instagram yet, so that is a little disheartening, but it's still early January. I'm just impatient I think. But I am still super excited about the coming club colors! I'm re-dying the February skeins next week because they just weren't quite right. I found out I'm in a fiber event in April! And I've got that one in June. I've applied to another in October but haven't heard back yet. I'm super happy about the first 2. I'm trying to plan how much yarn and what colors to stock. How much is enough that I won't run out but not so much I have way too much leftover? Tough to plan with no previous yarn event experience. Hopefully I end up in a good stocked but not over-stocked place. We shall see. We do still want to become foster parents and possibly adopt that way at some point. But my husband is dealing with some family stuff right now and for his stress levels, we have to wait a little bit longer. Hopefully not too long though. I've wanted to be a mom for so long. And not being a bio-mom, foster parent and possibly future adoptive parent is the next best for me. Also, as previously mentioned, I am terrible at waiting. I'm trying not to bring it up to much while he gets through his hard time right now. I don't want to add to his stress. But I don't really have anyone I can talk to about it here. Most of my friends have kids, don't ever want kids, or are trying very hard to use science to make a kid an not yet succeeding and definitely don't want to talk about children in any capacity. So, I contain myself. And wait. For now.

Been keeping up with my 3 times a week gym visits. I think I'm even feeling just a little bit less tired afterwards. I'm getting a bit more done after work even. Still behind as I hurt my thumb and haven't been able to knit, but I've been dying yarn orders and I'm only slightly behind where I want to be on housework. We still don't know if my father in law is coming for Christmas or not, so its a bit hard to plan that stuff. And the closet remodel is going slowly, but it's still going. Building took a bit longer, but its just about ready for shelves to get painted. After that, its just a little bit of assembly and we can actually use it again. My hand brace is kind of slowing that down a little, but not terribly. I'm really hoping I'll be able to use the week between xmas and new years to get things done around the house. It needs deeper cleaning than I've had time for recently. We'll see. Overall, going good, just a little slow.

Been busy with holiday stuff! I missed last week at the gym altogether, but this week is starting 3 days a week instead of just the 2. Since my lifting equipment is covered with closet remodel stuff right now, I played with the lifting machines at the gym. I definitely don't like them nearly as much as my barbell, but it's better than nothing. Today I cycled through trying out how to use them and how much weight on each. My other gym days look like this right now: 1 mile treadmill, however long that takes - hip machines since mom has had both hers replaced I thought I better take care of mine better - bike until it's time to go. Usually somewhere around the 3-4 mile mark but only at level 9 on difficulty. I'm starting out pretty simple. Just enough to get me doing things and then once my body is ready, I'm just going to add more speed then more distance to the treadmill and more difficulty on the bike. Right now, my brain is not ready to function that early so its best to just have a real simple habit in place to do automatically. I want to get back to running. It might sound weird, but I use the distance limit on the treadmill because in the mornings I just want to get that part over with. I know I'll be more likely to speed up to make the treadmill time end sooner. So for now, that's my plan to get back to running. I'm picking up the speed each week and I'm almost to the point where my fast walking will turn into slow jogging. I'll get there.

Forgot to post last week! It was pretty busy getting ready for the trunk show Friday. But I did make it to the gym two mornings. My lifting area is gone for the moment. We are re-doing the closet now and the tools table got set up in that area. So far we have demoed and this next Saturday will be painting and new floors. We might get shelving started but that involves shopping, cutting and painting before assembly, so I'm not sure. Got to work at Mom's pace. This is her project, it's just happening in our closet. The trunk show was awesome! I loved talking to people and watching them squish the yarn and laugh at names. And I really like seeing people who have come to other events. Everyone is always so nice and funny. The shop where I did the show wanted to run all the money themselves, so I'm still waiting on my half. I really loved it, but losing half of every sale is so huge. I'm not sure I'll do one like that again. It's much more affordable for my shop to do bigger craft shows or little events like Makevention. Just pay for the table space and the rest stays with my shop. I had to raise the prices a little bit just to break even on sales for this trunk show and I didn't really like doing that. I want to keep my stuff affordable. But no one complained or commented, it's just me feeling like I had to charge too much. We'll see. There were a ton of people who came through in just 3 hours. It was crazy and fun. Anyhow, I'm rambling about yarn again. We are getting a bonus puppy this coming weekend. That should be fun. Owners brought him over the other day to meet our pups and it went well. I really like this Rovr app. A little extra money and a bonus puppy every once in awhile. Nothing wrong with that.

My yarn club is out! I was so excited when I sold the first couple. I'm still super excited. I've been open for just over a year, but it really has only started feeling like a real business recently. Doing shows was a big difference. Seeing people squish and covet my colorways, getting to answer questions, meeting other dyers. Also, signing up for my first fiber-centric event next year. Opening up to teach/help with knitting. I still want to have my own little shop someday, but interacting in person with people has been so much fun. It just confirms how much I want this to be what I do, how I make a living. The only thing holding me back ight now is our personal debt. If we can get back to zero debt, I could focus more on the yarn business. That is going to be awhile, but we are working on it. Sorry for all the yarn talk, I'm just mostly obsessed right now. I've been walking every day still. And going to the gym twice a week. I've still slacked on the other things, but I'll get there. Monday I skipped knit to clean the house and wait for our bonus puppy to be picked up. Last night was dying yarn orders. Tonight cook, clean , help fix DH's tire that was flat this morning, clear out the closet, and go to pick out lumber/paint/flooring. As a holiday gift this year, my mom is re-doing our closet for us. She will build inserts and lay flooring, I'm just the labor assistance for painting and assembling. DH has been stressed out with overtime recently, so I'm trying to be the only assistant so he can relax a bit. It adds to my busy-ness but he gets stressed out a lot more easily that I do. I tend to only stress if I don't think I can slot a task into my available time. I'm trying not to stress out about not lifting yet because I end up swapping sleep or dinner with DH in my lifting-hopeful times. Priorities I guess. I just need to keep up what I've got going right now and add other things in where I can. I've noticed that since I've been doing the yarn business, my overall stress has gone down. I get to spend my time creating new colors and coming up with new patterns. Then I knit those up. All that is fun for me and fills this need to create something that gives me joy. And share it. AND I was feeling crappy about not having time to attend protests or events in my community, but now I can create donation colorways. Being able to give any kind of assistance to support causes I support makes me feel good. OK, maybe this was not the best time to post as my brain is feeling tired and rambling. Back to work!

I haven't been lifting but I've been doing some of the re-spawn tasks. Tracking food. Still stretching whenever I have a moment. And I've been walking twice a day. Dogs are good for that. I spend so much time stuck at my desk at work, and so much time working on color ideas, show planning, pattern creations, club/kit plotting...... yarn stuff. After that it's cleaning the house and making sure we don't run out of anything. Taking care of puppies. I just feel so tired all the time. But I'll keep walking for now. And I'll just work on lifting whenever I can squeeze it in. I know the more stuff I do, the more energy I will have to do more things later. So, walking. I guess it will have to be enough for now. I'm not going to beat myself up for being tired and busy. I just need to keep working on it.

Still working on it. It's a process. I was busy and then just plain tired, so I didn't do much more than walk last week and do some yoga. Not a yoga event, but I stretched whenever I noticed I was standing still. This morning I got up at 515AM and went to the gym with my mom. She has started going early and wanted some company. Which works for me. So, I will be going with her twice a week. And we will either hike or just take a long puppy walk on Sundays when we are both in town. It's not a lot but it's something. I'm also going to try to lift still. I enjoy it and I like feeling strong. So I'm going to get up at the same time every morning during the week. M/F will be lifting. Tu/Th will be treadmill at the gym with mom. Wed will be yoga. That should be good. And the only way I can wake up early is if I do it consistently. Otherwise it just never gets any easier. Should also be easier without feeling frustrated waiting for someone who doesn't show up.

OK, I haven't done much just yet. Friday I spend the first part of the evening loading the car for a last minute event; then I went to knit night. Saturday we had a tent/booth at a local art market. That was a ton of fun. Cold! But fun. Then after unloading and putting everything away, we fed ourselves and watched a movie. I was tired. I slacked. Sunday was nothing but chores and another knit. Monday after work I just had time enough to get another yarn order together, then went to knit night. I go to a lot of those. They are good for yarn business, but also good for de-stressing. I have been really hating my day job lately. I need the positive socializing and relaxation time. It was late when I got home, so I set up the lifting area and this morning I finally benched 5x5x75. Not much, but it was something. Tonight after work, I will be dying yarn all evening. I'm going to set it up for squats and if I have time between steps, I'll get that done. If not tonight, I'll do the squats before work tomorrow morning. Even doing one thing at a time here and there, at least that is something. And all stretching is good. Even just squishing in one move for each 2 minute rest between reps. Gotta start somewhere.

OK. Deep breath. It's been a very long time since I've posted or really done much of anything here. I have historically had a tendency to DO ALL THE THINGS and usually all at once. It can be fun, but seriously not sustainable in the long run. No matter what my excitement levels say at the time. So I'm going to start all over again. Right now. I've requested a re-set of my academy quests and re-made my character/quest lists. I'm starting with Mindset, so that's mostly all I'll be working through at first. I've just gone through and cleared out my garage so I can have my lifting area back. I've been running a few times a week with a friend, but I'm stopping that. Waking up at 545 every morning but only having her show up maybe once a week is exhausting. She never came at all this week. So I broke up with her on that this afternoon. Just the scheduled running part. I've told her I'm down to run when she feels up to it, but I'm not going to wake up and be let down anymore. But this is not her fault. I could have done other things those mornings, but I didn't. I stretched a little then laid down on the sofa and usually napped until my husband got up. I don't want to feel like I'm counting on anyone else to do things though. Thinking about it, I just don't think waking up early is working for me anymore. It seems to be getting harder and harder and I'm so exhausted every day after. I was trying to do morning because my schedule is so funtastic most of the time. But I'm just going to make it work. I want this and I've been letting my schedule be an excuse and her not showing up be an excuse. And I'm just done with that. So for now, I'm going to make a quick lift happen after work on Wednesday and Friday and another lift on Sundays when I can fit it in. I'm going to make sure I yoga once a week whenever I can do it, I'm thinking Monday or Friday, but we'll see. As long as it happens once a week, I'll be good with that. Otherwise I'm just going to run when we have time to go together and walk the dogs as much as possible.I'm going to work on my food and sleep and just do the best I can. So, Life update! If you followed me before. Some of you are still facebook friends, but I'm not a great poster when things are going on and things seem to be always going on. I opened my yarn shop. Rebel Purl has been going just over a year now and I love everything about it. I love coming up with colorways and names. I love creating patterns and knitting samples. I love talking to people about yarn and patterns and just the fun of creating. I spent the first year getting used to dying schedules and processes, advertising, and such. I'm spending this year checking out events and selling at a few. Next year I'm hoping to do many more events and some larger ones. My dream would be to grow this into a small business that could be my primary/only job. I would love to have a little workshop with a small retail space and an area where I could do classes and host knit nights and such. But that is a long time off yet. Right now I'm just lucky that it pays enough to keep itself going. I'm still working FT at a trucking company. It wears me down mor every day that I am the political opposite to everyone I work with here. It is exhausting trying not to argue about equality and white privilege and religion having so much influence on lawmaking and man am I tired of having to listen to their sermons playing every morning. I suppose its mostly just one person who is the most vocal and judgemental that wears me down (because there is absolutely no avoiding her) but I know the others agree with her at least for the most part. Being the only progressive atheist is exhausting. And it is so disheartening when voting time rolls around because its one of me voting for what I so passionately believe and (just in this one office) 4 people plus spouses voting against me. But it will never stop me from voting. Sorry, there is just so much going on politically and I spend all day with no outlet. I have been able to make several colorways that donate a small amount per sale to causes I support. That really helps a lot when I don't feel like I have the time or energy to do much else. I can always make another colorway and use it to get money to the people who can do something. Another reason to love yarn. It is still just my husband, me and our pets (2 dogs and 1 cat). But we want to become foster parents. We decided if we don't end up having our own by next year, in January we start the research and prep to start that process. That is coming up fast. I've already been slowly cleaning out the house to try to make room. My mom still lives 3 blocks away. I make sure to visit her one day a week every week, but sometimes her depression and anxiety are too much for me. I still visit her, but I might end up feeling bad if I'm ever short tempered or testy those days. My husband also has depression and anxiety but in a different way. But again, yarn saves me. There are several knit nights around and I love visiting with everyone at those. My husband and mom are both so very supportive of my business and I love them both so much. Anyhow, a full time job, a side business, a podcast, pets, taking care of the house, family time..... I end up feeling like the only self-care time I have should be relaxing. But I'm going to change that. Lifting and stretching at first. And making better food choices. Seems easy enough. I can do this, right? Feel free to help me with support or gifs or whatever you might have the time and capacity for. I could use it.

Foods been going alright, except I need to get some cooked for our lunches tonight. Lifted last night. DL 135x5x5 OVH 45x5x5 B 75x5x5 Sq 95x5x5 Think I'll up some next time. Got a good walk in this weekend with puppies. Only one skein of yarn left to dye then I can get the rest out for testing. I'm going to knit and wash whatever people Sunday don't want, so I need to finish my current project and get on that. I'm glad I've given myself a September store opening date. Having plenty of time takes the stress off of each step. And using money I've saved specifically for this keeps the money stress low as well.

I keep thinking about the stuff I'm not doing and letting that drag my motivation. SO I'm just going to post what I am doing and forget about missing anything. I lifted last night. Was feeling little baby DOMs so I kept it light but didn't skip anything. DL 115x5x5 OVH 45x5x5 B 75x5x5 Sq 95x5x5 I was very sore when I crawled in bed last night, but I think that was more due to running around the kitchen dying yarn for 5 solid hours after work and lifting. I finished and finally ate dinner at 10PM, the went straight to bed.