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Posts posted by h3r0

  1. Training 


    Shin box with hip extension 

    5 Pushups 

    15 Bridges 

    2x12 BB Curls 40#
    Sphinx Pose

    Child Pose

    Pigeon Pose


    I am way past due for a update. Been exercising and did take the weekend off. Back is still not right and squats, even body weight ones, are putting a strain on it. So adjusting exercises accordingly. Still just nothing too strenuous just movement and using a lot of stretching. 

    Beard is coming in well. A bit itchy and now in that awkward phase where it’s way beyond stubble but not really a beard yet, just hair on your face. 

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    30 Day Workout - Day 3 COMPLETE 

    2x10 BB Curls #40


    Will do yoga tomorrow. I really wanted to do more sets of curls but forced myself to hold back. I didn’t want to overdo it on the first day.

    Back is hurting this morning, have a chiropractor appointment this afternoon. 

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    My back / sciatica still hurts. I spent the weekend stretching, foam rolling, and laying on a heating pad. No yard work, no home projects, no errands. It was really weird not to do anything since I usually can’t sit still but I needed the rest and it was nice. Also it seems to have mostly worked, I can actually move around. Not completely pain free but mobile. 


    This will be a rehab and reboot challenge for me. I really want to reestablish my exercise habit as well as try some new things. My meds and therapy seem to be working since I am starting to realize just how much of my mental bandwidth was taken up from dealing with anxiety, worrying about anxiety, and following rigid rules I made up to avoid anxiety. Opens up room to think and breathe about other things and even things that I might want to do and be. 


    This challenge will be Breath of the Wild themed since I feel like Link, just waking up after a long sleep, weak but starting to remember what a badass warrior I used to be and will be again. 






    I will be following a 30 Day Workout app. I have it set to Easy mode so the workouts are super short but the exercises are not the point. The point is the daily routine. Every 4th workout will be yoga for the back / sciatica. 


    • Finish 30 Days
    • Yoga every 4th day 





    My eating has been full ham lately. Going to dial it back a little and I have never lost weight with intermittent fasting but I do enjoy a little bit more mental clarity and morning energy while doing it. 


    • Finish water bottle by 10:30am
    • First meal after 11am






    A little bit of fun because I am feeling adventurous. I will grow a beard. No real reason other than I want a change and maybe this’ll be one. I’ve never had one before so not sure what it will look like. The longest I have gone was 3 weeks of a quarantine beard before quitting due to social pressure from my wife. Another vanity goal is biceps. Going to hit the curls with HFT after my daily app. May work, may not but we are doing this. 


    • No shaving for 4 weeks 
    • Arm work after main workout 






    Not part of this challenge, more of a forever challenge. I am doing so so much better and just want to stay mindful, follow the guidance I have / am getting and keeping up with my medication. If someone else is suffering from anxiety and you haven’t looked into getting help then I urge you to do so. I feel so much better and I can’t believe that I waited so long to do so. 

    • Like 2
  4. Way past due for a update. 

    Back has been hurting bad for a week. Varying degrees of bad but not better. I finally figured out it is sciatica acting up. The pain was in my low back so I didn’t catch it but after doing the yoga for it I felt almost instant relief. I need to add this routine weekly EVEN when it is not hurting!




    15m yoga

    jumping jacks

    step ups





    mental health 


    Met with my therapist and it went well. They gave me a nice formula / exercise to try the next time I get a anxiety spell. 


    I just discovered the concept of the intelligence trap. It’s “thinking” that your feelings and emotions should conform to your intellectual plan or goals, instead of them just being what they are. Then getting disappointed or ashamed or ignoring them because they don’t conform to the plan that you laid out. I’m pretty sure I’ve been doing this my entire life. Why I was so ashamed of having anxiety because I’m not supposed to feel like that. Probably in some way why I have anxiety because of something I’ve been ignoring. 

    • Like 1
  5. Way past due for a update. I hurt my back, angered an old injury that flared up on me and had to take it easy for a few days. 



    5x5 OHP 45/65/75/85#
    4x5 Bench Press 85/95/105/115#


    nice to get a little exercise in. 

    Mental Health 


    things have been going well. They upped the dose on my medication, no side effects so far. I have been writing down any episodes of anxiety as requested and so far no panic attacks in awhile. 

    • Like 1
  6. 14 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:


    This used to be 100% of my time. I was baffled and very confused when I was in my late 20s and learned that that this wasn't normal. That not everyone lived like this, and perceived reality this way. I thought this paralyzing fear of everything, all the time, was just a normal part of growing up.  It was very unsettling to discover that, no, it's not. It's just me.


    and me. So we’re probably not alone in that 


    14 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:


    EDIT: Correction, it's not a paralyzing fear of everything. It's a paralyzing fear of everything that's outside my control, or unexpected, or unfamiliar. 


    I think it’s control, at least for me. My therapist said it was trust. That it was that I don’t fully trust my decisions in certain situations. I don’t know if I believe  that. I’ll have to think about it more. 

    15 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:


    A suggestion, if I may? Try to break the habit of referring to symptoms of your anxiety as "ridiculous", or with some other word that has negative connotations.


    The words we use about things shape how we think about these things, and how we think about them shape how we feel about them. So when you call your anxiety symptoms "ridiculous", your teaching your brain to look at your anxiety as something that is embarrassing and stupid. That doesn't seem to me like it would be helpful for mental health, or for dealing with the anxiety. :) 

    You are correct. It is very much my default response and I do feel embarrassed by it. This is not something that I ever talk about or admit, even to myself. My coping mechanism has been to down play it, pretend it is unimportant, and doesn’t exist and march on. But obviously that doesn’t work so here I am. I will try something new. 

    • Like 1
  7. On 8/4/2022 at 3:25 PM, KB Girl said:

     I think maybe it's also a way for some of that big stuff to express itself? 

    idk maybe?


    20 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

    Dropping the cap to my hydrating toner bottle when I'm trying to get through my skincare routine, on the other hand....? Full-on, tear filled, rage-infused meltdown.

    mine is more paranoia induced. I obsessively obsess over some small thing and plot out a chain reaction from the butterfly wing flap to ridiculous extremes of jobless, homeless, etc. Then I sit for days or weeks waiting for the shoe to drop feeling doom and helplessness. Worse I can’t talk about it because that will somehow make it happen??? I don’t know, like I said I logically know that it’s ridiculous but it doesn’t change how I feel when it is going on. 

    20 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

    And yes, I'm embarrassed about it too. But it's not weird. It's the nature of The Flame to be unpredictable. :) 



    thank you 


    • Like 2
  8. Training 


    3x5 Bench Press 100#
    1x5 Trap Bar Deadlift 180#
    sphinx pose

    child pose


    short on time this morning so cut some corners. 

    mental health 


    so I have been writing down all my anxiety incidents as homework from the therapist and I knew strangely real things that I should be anxious about don’t bother me but instead I have meltdowns over imaginary things I make up but just looking at them in black and white it is just ridiculous what I allow myself to get so worked up about. It’s not the point of this exercise and they are very real and upsetting to me in the moment. Just feel weird and embarrassed about seeing them written out. 


  9. Training 



    Shin box 


    3x5 Goblet Squats 16 kg 

    3x5 OHP 70#

    1x5 Trap Bar Deadlift 160# 


    Sphinx pose 

    Child pose 


    I took a much more narrower grip on the presses than I normally do and it really seemed more comfortable in the movement. 

  10. Training 



    Shin box 


    I've lost a lot of flexibility. 


    3x5 Bench Press 95#

    3x5 Goblet Squats 16 kg 

    1x5 Trap Bar Deadlift 140# 


    Sphinx pose 

    Child pose 


    A very light break in workout to get started. Going to follow a basic starting strength template. 

    • Like 1
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    Hello all. I have missed a few challenges here lately but I haven't forgotten about everyone here. I wish I could say that the time away has been productive but the honest truth is that it has been rough. 


    I have struggled with anxiety for a long time but it has steadily gotten worse over time until it was really impacting my daily life very negatively. I have stubbornly resisted any professional help, medication, or really even admitting it is even a problem to anyone, preferring a stoic facade and suffering in silence. After having multiple panic attacks in a week I finally had to admit to myself that I needed help and couldn't do it alone. 


    I finally reached out and got councling and medication. The meds help immensely and my anxiety is not completely gone but it is at least not dialed up to 11 and I can put some distance between it and myself and be objective about things. A nice side effect is suddenly I am sleeping like a rock. Getting enough sleep has always been a struggle for me. I guess I should have guessed that my anxiety issues were a part of the problem but it never occurred to me. The councling has just started so TBD at the moment. 





    Challenge Goals 


    1. Mental Health 


    Obviously the main goal right now. Get dialed in with meds, councling schedule, and work with the exercises that she is giving me to help with anxiety. 


    2. Exercise 


    I haven't been completely sedentary but I have lost a lot of my prior strength and muscle. Goal is to get back into a regular routine. Barbells always make me feel better. 


    Sorry to puke out all my issues in my challenge but I am making a effort to be more open about what is going on with me here and in the real world which is terrifying but part of my issues. 

    • Like 4
    • That's Metal 1
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    Jump Rope 4x90:90s

    4 singles Chinups 

    3x5 Pushups 


    OK so that was actually a challenge. 


    On another topic. My old fencing club is still inactive and I haven't been able to find a new one yet. But I did manage to find a HEMA club in town that looks pretty active. Do I want to hit people with a long sword? I really need the socialization and even though I only got to do it for a few months I desperately miss having a sword in my hand. Strange how I have had other hobbies and activities that I used to do for years and I don't miss them a bit. Dang anxiety about new groups of people, showing up and not knowing what to do. They meet on Sundays and I am out of town next weekend so I have two weeks to decide if this is something I would want to do and to get my courage up if I want to do this. 




    • Like 1
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    Update for the week 


    1. Sleep 

    Hit or miss. I stopped stressing about it. I went to bed late last night but slept in really late which was nice. 


    2. Exercise 

    Getting back into the groove with 3xWeek target. Actually getting maybe add a little more vibes. 


    Tue and Thurs 


    Jump Rope 4x60:90s 

    3 singles Chinups 

    3x4 Pushups 


    3. Mental Space 


    I revived my weekly planner. Plot out my goals and tasks for the week and check them off as I complete them. I am a big planner and if I don't have one I feel lost and don't know what I am doing. I have also come to realize that I have a tendency to over plan and become too ridged, lost in the plan and not living, and beat myself up if I don't meet my goals and plans. I need space in those plans to breathe and take in my surroundings around myself and live my life instead of living in my plan in some future state. I am working on how square the circle between those two now. 



    • Like 1
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