Plazmotic

Update: hunger issues fixed! (mostly!) The solution: eat a banana riiiiiight before I go to bed. Presto, no more waking up hungry in the night! I still feel hungry in the morning, but not the moment I wake up. I take a few minutes to eat a muffin before getting on with my routine and it's working well so far.

The past couple days have been troublesome food-wise. I don't think I'm eating enough calories. I wake up hungry. I snack but still feel hungry until lunch (around 11am). Then I'm hungry again at 1pm and eat all the rest of my snacks over the next couple hours. By 4pm there's no food left in my lunch bag and I'm resigned to getting a bag of chips from the nearby vending machine. The drive home is tortuous and I'm tempted to do the McDonalds drive thru. Once I do get home, there's lots of healthy stuff for me to snack on like fruit and cheese and nuts. I cook a decent dinner that leaves me full. And yet, I still wake up hungry. Or worse yet, I wake hungry in the middle of the night. IDK how one gains weight healthfully. Every time I've gained weight, it's been due to loads of carbs, canned/packaged/frozen food, or eating too much junk like ice cream and pop. Every time I've taken on a healthy diet, I lose weight. I CANNOT LOSE WEIGHT RIGHT NOW. I have an appointment next week, will see how much I weigh and go from there.

Still around, still kicking. We announced the pregnancy to our families and on social media so most everyone knows now. Good: told our families on Mother's Day and there was much celebrating and joy and a few happy tears from my parents (who are not yet grandparents). Bad: the unapologetic policing of my behaviour has already begun, hooray for my feelings and needs being irrelevant because there's a thing in my belly. I literally told everyone they were being pushy and they responded with "lol too bad, this is your life now" :| Two weeks away from my next OB appointment... the lack of symptoms in the 2nd trimester is disconcerting. I don't feel preggo, just fat and bloated. My belly is basically flat when I wake up in the morning. There's a lot of mom-to-be things I should be doing but I haven't, mostly because my brain is still stuck in "what's the use, this won't last" mode. How does one sustain life when all you know is death? Believing everything will turn out fine and having hope for the future feels like the cruelest thing I could do to myself right now, because it will hurt that much more when everything goes sideways.

My parents have this in their master bathroom and have never used it. They've been in this house for 8 YEARS.

I think I'm having a similar problem, except instead of wanting to eat more I just want to eat badly. Example: last night I was for once content at the end of the day and I didn't wake up hungry... but that's because I'd eaten a crapload of crispy taquitos followed by a bag of dill pickle chips for dinner instead of healthy protein with vegetables like I usually do. The guilt was outweighed by my "MY CUP RUNNETH OVER WITH SATISFACTION" feelings haha.

Random infodump time... here's an example food diary for one day (since I started this new job): Breakfast - a tumbler of weak black tea with honey and powdered creamer - 1 fruit-to-go snack Morning snack - 5 mini cucumbers Lunch - mock turkey breast on multigrain bread with jalapeno havarti cheese - organic greens with seasoned croutons, shredded nacho cheese, and balsamic vinegarette - 4 cups of water Afternoon snack - small container of roasted chickpeas - 1 apple Drive home snack - 1 banana & dark chocolate granola bar Pre-dinner snack - cup of vanilla Greek yogurt/diced peaches in syrup Dinner - baked chicken breast with fajita topping & marinade/Mexican quinoa bake with avocado and beef - buttered cauliflower rice Post-dinner - a handful of salted cashews/diced fruit (honeydew, watermelon, cantaloupe) Even though I've added in a pre and post dinner snack, I still think I'm not eating enough calories. I wake up hungry and stay kind of ravenous all morning until I stop for lunch, but then I get the 3 pm munchies again and embarrassingly ask the dudes around me if they have any cookies for me to munch on. Anyway, here's a list of things I've been craving lately (fo the last 4 weeks or so)... kettle cooked salt & vinegar chips raw, unripe (but not green) tomatoes lemonade hot dogs with ketchup & mustard parmesan topped pigs in a blanket McDonalds BBQ dipping sauce I sense a very strong theme here of sour with a hint of savory thrown in.

Hiiiii I know I haven't been around but I want to say NICE WORK on your goals and also boo-ray for doing the audition. You rock!

HI, NF! Sorry for going AWOL again, life happened. 1. I had two weeks off after my last job ended. The first week I prepped for Vegas and second week was Vegas itself. Those two weeks (and the week after) were probably the worst of my pregnancy symptoms, unfortunately. Plus I caught a bad cold just as we were leaving for Vegas, so I couldn't taste anything the first 3 days AND I had such a high fever (that I couldn't take craploads of drugs for, because preggo) that I spent the first night in Vegas with icy towels on my forehead, hallucinating at the ceiling. And once my sense of smell did come back, I was nauseated by all the cigarette smoke smell. I mean, I'm glad we went, but that vacation was one of the more disappointing ones in recent times. It was my husband's first time in Vegas, and he was like "this was fun, but if I come back I'm going with my bros instead" and I definitely can't blame him. 2. New job is going well, so far it's my 4th week here and I'm enjoying it muchly. Commute being 1/3rd of the length definitely is part of it. People here keep saying "yeah you like it here now, but wait a couple years." LOL 3. This week marked the end of the first trimester for me, so it was time to see whether things were okay or not. GUYS, THERE'S A REAL LIVE FETUS IN THERE. I went for an ultrasound on Tuesday and got photos of teh bebbeh. My fertility doctor confirmed the baby was a good size, had a good heart beat, and was low risk for Down Syndrome. Then yesterday I went to my OB and they let me HEAR the heartbeat and record it on my phone so that I could show to my husband. OB confirmed everything looks good and made some recommendations for what to do/not to do until I hit 20 weeks. SO! I've been given the okay to exercise again but it looks like OCR is out for now, LOL. Leaning towards walking/jogging supplemented by prenatal yoga classes. Also I have a big list of Things To Eat and Things Not To Eat and I am having a Very Hard Time avoiding processed carbs like regular pasta and rice because my cupboard is FULL of that crap. Aaaaaand that's my good news update for the day!

Yeah it's because of my history. My doctor said this usually isn't required for pregnant women, but in my case she wants me to play it safe for the first trimester.

Hiyo NF! Sorry I've been AWOL, life's been busy and I steppes away from thr computer for a good while there. Some updates... 1. Had my final day at my job where they tried to stuff me with lemon cake and cinnamon buns. Got a goodbye card and lots of hugs. Will miss the people but not going to that place anymore, phew! 2. Trip to Vegas booked! We are going Sunday to Friday next week, can't wait to experience some warmth and revelry. 3. Had my first ultrasound and holy shit everything looks great so far. Embryo is bigger than last time (in fact, dating by ultrasound makes it 3 days ahead of schedule growth-wise) and the heartbeat is strong. My doctor has put me on thyroid medication just to be safe though, my levels are always a bit off. So that's my life right now. I've been told no exercise for another 4-5 weeks except walking, and I have to consume A LOT more water and freggies. Refined carbs are not recommended, daily protein and dairy are a must.

When I lived on my own I started out as wanting to eat healthy, then I realized if I didn’t eat healthy I wasn’t eating at all. So I started making concessions for my own health and taking shortcuts as needed: frozen, pre-cooked, or canned food are still all food… and are a better option than starving myself. Easiest way to be healthy for me was to try to be vegetarian most days.

This is gonna be amazing

Feeling pretty good today. I don’t have much of a sore throat or cough, and my preggo symptoms are taking a breather too. I’m at the point where not feeling nauseous is weird, haha. Tired though. Was coughing all through the night, it was so annoying. Tonight is the last chance to book our Vegas vacation! I haven’t been there in over 10 years, can’t wait to see how it’s changed. We’re only going to be there during the week so it shouldn’t be too busy either.

You're doing much better than I am, I keep brushing my teeth but not flossing! Maybe I should keep the floss out on the counter instead of inside the cupboard to remind me.

So it looks like both husband and I are pretty psyched to do Vegas, so that’s what we’ll do. I have vague concerns that there will be too much second-hand smoke there but all my research is showing that it’s quite safe for pregnant women, you just have to stay hydrated and make sure you eat/rest. Forgot my progesterone supplement for the first time last night, oops! Nevertheless, still nauseous af this morning, hooray. I’m doing a full morning of training this morning, so talking with a sore throat + no chance to snack makes me worry that I’m going to feel like total crap by the end of the day. Hopefully I am just being a pessimist!

Heck, if I have black tea after 3pm I can’t fall asleep!

I was just thinking that too. Have to work within whatever parameters I’ve been given, I guess. If that means a cool/cold vacation, I’ll just have to dress warm and suck it up. I too went to Vegas when I was much younger. I was initially caught off guard by how overindulgent and excessive it is, like… there’s so much poverty and grave issues in the world but this hedonistic gong show somehow still exists?! But it’s still one of those places you have to experience for yourself at least once, and my husband’s never been. ------------ Someone at work actually mentioned New Orleans as a possible destination, which might be nice. I’m just so annoyed that Miami is America’s Zika capital, I love that place so much.

Thanks for the tip! Been looking up some hotel/flight packages and am just getting frustrated because the site will give one price then I click on the link and it shows the package to be twice as expensive! O_O I really don’t want to spend a boatload of money on a pricey vacation abroad and then get stuck in the hotel for a week because I’m a tired and nauseous preggo, LOL.

Bubble tea rocks! But I feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t like the tapioca in bubble tea, I always get it without.

YUMMMM.

We <3 you toooooo!

So it looks like I will have 2 weeks off between my new and old jobs! \o/ We are trying to go on vacation from April 8th to April 14th and are not sure where to go. My husband wants to go somewhere warm (where swimming in the water is an option). I want to go somewhere local (if something happens with the pregnancy, I’d rather be close to home/in Canada). We both want to go somewhere cheap, and we both like each other’s idea of a warm/local destination. For warm destinations we’re looking at Vegas and Hawaii (non-Zika locations only). For local destinations we’re looking at Quebec only because travelling in Canada is disgustingly expensive.

That just looks like a regular badly made donut?

I had no clue there were two ways to make doughnuts.