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Maggie-Miau

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Everything posted by Maggie-Miau

  1. So this round of overtime was a game of "let's find our honest-to-god limit" I didn't think I was going to make it through the four hours. It is a genuine miracle my coworker didn't shoot me for going progressively slower and slower as time wore on. Actually did almost faint a couple of times *More bitching about brother with a side of self-loathing for being able to get so completely done with people* I really hope he does quit this job whenever he finally gets a vehicle. Carpooling with him and his angry teen style of dealing with things (literally slamming things around, "whatever", flipping me off when I ask him to simmer down ) is. Stressful. Meh. One more shift, a normal eight hour one, and then weekend. No plans except I think the boy is taking the car to the shop to get the mirror fixed.
  2. I know y'all have to be tired of hearing about my brother but oh my Lord Jesus i need this boy to get his license get a vehicle and get on with whatever he's going to do. I wish JobCorps didn't have the 25 age limit. As obnoxious as it was I do think that having to struggle through there helped me grow up a little bit. He could use that proverbial booster shot. Anyway. I'm still absolutely losing it over Wednesday, my January challenge will be Themed I love her, your honor. I don't know what you even call aromantic/asexual simping but I have it bad and yes I feel a bit weird about it. But Ms Ortega has the most beautiful eyes and her mannerisms and voice/tone/expressions as Wednesday just hit different than any previous favorite character. I might not have to go through with overtime tonight because I asked team lead if I could swap with somebody because broski was being a slamming things around kind of way about it, so it might be a normal length shift. Which is actually okay with me because despite cancelling the appointment I still only got like four, maybe five hours of sleep feeling okay though.
  3. SHELLO. I downloaded the free trial of the app and oh. my cats. it is Amazing. Thank you so much for telling me about this, i can already tell it's going to be so helpful!
  4. Oof, wound up cancelling i'm on overtime this week so, the timing for the appointment was right in the middle of sleeping hours and i realized that, knowing me, that wasn't going to end well.
  5. Heyoo Sal *hugs* counselor appointment is tomorrow. Actual doc can't see me til January. But I should be able to get insurance around that time too and switch to a different (hopefully better) doctor
  6. *lays on floor* depressed. Sick of myself. At work (shift starts in 15 minutes I'm not texting on the job or anything) i know I'll be fine when the wave is done but good lord i do get so tired of this.
  7. Got off early I feel a need to transform into a werewolf and ransack a small village or two. I'm having an Episode and need to get myself out of it.
  8. Depressed at work again not quite Crying In The Breakroom level but close. It's dumb bc I felt like I was doing so well and then team lead came and pointed out a mistake and it was an instant crash feeling like a failure. Which is also dumb because I have clearly improved since I first got here but ugggghhhhh I'm so sad
  9. I cooked today! I cooked some lentils (and discovered they don't actually take that long. by the time i completely forgot about them and then remembered they were on the stove, they were done cooking but not burned) i put some sliced onions in a bread pan and put them in the air fryer with a little oil and salt. it took maybe 15, 20 minutes to get those done? then mixed the onions and lentils with some microwave rice and some spices. Then microwaved some frozen spinach and also seasoned that. So now i have packed lunches. I am Sleepy.
  10. You're very cool but also, that hair belongs to you and nobody else, and you can do whatever you please with it Knowing you, i'm pretty sure you'll rock it
  11. Got super depressed toward end of shift but actually did really well at work today. I was dumb as hell and problem solving skills were lagging but my build speed was way way up. Also, hilariously enough. I went to HR to ask about the headphones. Everyone at the plant has been like "oh nope they won't allow that you'll probably need a doctor's note" the HR guy was like "are they OSHA rated? They don't have Bluetooth right? Yeah you can wear them I have no problem with it" I am very much afeared it'll rain on the way home today. Maybe is just cloudy and no rain. Stopping by the gym on my way home. Also, my appointment with the therapist at Samaritan's is on the 8th and I'm slightly nervous because naturally I'm immediately forgetting everything Ive ever needed to talk to a therapist about as well as the whole, this will be someone new to get used to. Ngl I kind of wish I could've stayed with Dr W after JobCorps even if things with him got rocky a couple times
  12. Today: I baked the ugliest cupcakes ever shgjsghjsghjs they will make good Work Snacks. I have spicy cabbage and rice for tonight's dinner. I worked on some furniture for mom (the world's slowest cabinet-assembly is finally reaching its conclusion. I finally put the back on and now just have to do the doors but have moved to other things for the time being) got my desk mostly cleared off except for some paintings that are still drying. Also did the laundry, waiting for it to dry so i can fold it and put it away. I will also vacuum before going to bed. I have been increasingly losing my mind over Wednesday because a) she is Adorable and my Daughter and an autistic aroace icon and i love her but also b) i was describing her to my brother and then showed him some clips and his reaction was "She's basically you when you were 12-16 in your edgelord phase" and i'm so mad because i did not have an argument i wasn't actually Goth or anything but i was extremely asocial and trying way too hard to be 'different' (not in the same ways as Wednesday. My thing was essentially to avoid openly enjoying almost anything at all costs unless it was something grandad supported) and wrote some pretty dark and frankly terrible stories which my traitor of a sibling snuck and read and has never quite let me live down. Will have to go to bed in a couple hours to be ready for work tonight but i have also been working on my goals for 2023 and drafting a writing plan because one of my goals is to finally make some concrete progress on a story i'm co-writing with my friend of nearly a decade. We've been tossing around ideas about this story for almost half the time we've known each other
  13. I did a paint forgot i had paint on my hands so now my hands, face, computer mouse, and keyboard all look like a clown warfare zone ngl the painting is the result of me scraping down the horrors previously inflicted (by me) upon a canvas with a screwdriver and then essentially hacking away with oils and acrylics also using the screwdriver and a makeup brush. then adding yellow because "i can't hecking see" the words on it aren't me being emo, they're from Willow Tree March by The Paper Kites
  14. There's So Much to safety laws and regulations, i imagine studying/memorizing it all could take at least multiple years. The little bit i got at Jobcorps (Construction Site Safety and Basic First Aid) was just a tiny bite of all our lord and master OSHA has to say about things Lear's main potential hazards are forklifts, raggedy pallets, and the folks who install the airbags risk accidentally activating them- which allegedly hasn't happened in a long while. The line i'm on now feels safer than the one i worked on last year, because this time i'm not having to actually lift pallets and risk them failing to lock/coming down on me. Verbal instruction is pretty much N/A now that i'm certified on the line. Rheem actually required hearing protection, and gave me a pair of headphones because i had to tell them the earplugs weren't going to work. . .i wouldn't be obnoxious bout it except that my skin genuinely hates me I don't always have to have the headphones (even though, with the noise level at Lear, technically they should be requiring hearing protection because it's well above safe levels, especially when they play music on top of the general manufacturing noise) but sometimes everything is suddenly A Lot and it's like "one of these senses has to go and since i can't work blindfolded it's gonna have to be the noise" i have to wear them on the dreaded occasions when the fam goes out to Cracker Barrel, which is somehow a different kind of Sound Hell than any other restaurant i got so disoriented the other night at work that my team lead actually noticed and told me to take a few extra minutes when we went on break. (also hi hello Sky i love you it's wonderful to see you gandalf )
  15. Hello and lol Saturday i got off work, watched an episode of Wednesday, and promptly passed away until 2am. Oops. I had meant to go to the gym my hands and feets are swollen i'm going to spend the day chugging water. Had a dream at some point that was just. Dozens upon dozens of black-and-white cats of all various ages, from senior down to itty-bitty. I don't even know exactly where it was taking place, just that there were So Many Cats and i was going "Where did all these cats come from" I pretty much immediately did not follow through on the frog thing but can say i've been to the gym .....thursday and friday? Maybe Wednesday as well? I'll go today too. For housework i know i've done stuff but honestly don't remember what aside from cleaning the microwave/stove/bar, hanging curtains and a few "technically this should be done every day" items. Today's goals are to look at what's in the kitchen and figure out what can be done with it laundry Clear the surfaces in my room, and take mom to the gym
  16. ...is it...legal...for a factory to not allow workers to wear hearing protection unless it's an earplug? I was just told he will require me to get a doctor's note to be allowed headphones. I'm usually okay at work but I'm in one of those "literally everything is too loud and it hurts" modes. Frustrated.
  17. It is a hard day so far. Went to the gym this morning and almost got into a car accident. To me it seemed like the other driver was coming over in my lane but broski thinks it was the other way round. Then on the way to work there was roadwork going on and there was a line of cones gradually leading into the lane I was in, but there was no room to move over, so to avoid hitting the cones (and workers behind them) I started slowing down to give myself more time to be able to move over. Broski started freaking out shouting my name over and over because he thought the car behind us was going to hit us. It scared me. And I was a bit disoriented because the vehicles for the roadwork had blue lights so I thought something had Happened and when I saw a Substance on the road I thought it was blood and was Alarmed. I've done pretty well at work today and I'm as feeling good but then Team Lead noticed an error that I don't even know if it was mine but neither I or the other two caught it before it made it to Quality. All she said was that we need to make sure we pay attention but the Nerves are like "oh god now she hates me i suck im barely doing enough to keep this job everyone is tired of me". I know(ish) that isn't reasonable but the sensation is still present I'm looking forward to Christmas break.
  18. I was asleep for maybe half an hour and then woke up because my feets were Too Cold. Went and got an extra blanket and have been Awake ever since. About to pray to the doxepin gods. Cats Eggy Roll and Chelly are sleeping on my bed. Cat Norrell is in a cupboard.
  19. a. the Feels are crashing and the weirdest things are making me Very Sad i was legit holding back tears cleaning the microwave stove shghjsghajghjaskg b. Thinks are also scattered to the four corners. I just got distracted no less than three times from trying to retrieve my phone from another room. Positively scrambled. The Brain is like "IT HAS TO BE ORGANIZED" and i'm like "WHAT DOES" and the Brain is like "ORGANIZE IT NOW. COLOR-CODED CHARTS. IT IS A CRISIS EMERGENCY" and i'm hideously confused trying to think about anything. c. lol i thought of a new name/theme for my challenge. *~ Maggie Kisses Frogs ~* There's an expression about doing Important tasks that you Don't Really Want To Do, something about boiling frogs, but i'm not here for boiling creatures so i will be kissing the frogs instead. My frogs aren't necessarily tasks i don't want to do (a few of them are) so much as tasks i have a tendency to either put off, get distracted from, or simply not do for no explicable reason. Going to the gym is a frog because the best time to go is right after work which is also the worst time to go because it's right after work. But it is Important and also i really do want to get Strong The school stuff is also a frog because it's something where just about every day i go "oh yeah i need to do my coursework" and then completely forget about it for the rest of the day. Same thing with Lingvago (ASL lessons) and Spanish. And Writing. Well, that one is both Chronically Forgetting and just being really, really, really, really really really out of the habit because writing words has become Scary. The finance stuff is a frog just because everything is due at different times and i get paranoid thinking i've forgotten something. I have a budget notebook with all expenses/bills listed but i feel like i need something more like, consolidated? Probably something like a wall calendar marked with when stuff is due and just check off when it's paid. But i also feel like, i need to split my bank account so there is an Emergency Fund folder, a House Fund folder, and a Bills folder ('folder' essentially just meaning savings account that's tacked onto my real account) idk idk i just like being able to See things. Food is a frog because eating is annoying. The goals are the same except in addition to going for the "Just Do It!" mindset i'll also be taking a look at what specifically is so unattractive about each frog and looking for what can make it more kissable. (With food, the protein shakes and clif bars are one thing, although sometimes it's hard to eat (or drink) those as well. But also making sure the kitchen stays clean so i'm not put off from foods-making by "ugh i have to wash a pot" or "the stove is dirty therefore i cannot use it") Right now though i'm about to go to bed because my eyes are feeling compromised and the blankets are looking great right now.
  20. Today: A. I can't sleep oh no oh heck. B. Hit a Big High yesterday and spent several hours feeling as though I could last at least two minutes in an arm wrestling competition with God. This led to a flurry of activity and going to work on four hours of sleep yet still being weirdly hyped. Started to crash toward the end of the shift but also didn't have overtime so got to come home. C. Except I woke up after two hours of sleep (I went to bed around 10 thinking I'd get up around 6) and have not been able to drift back off. I took. Two. Doxepin and they have done heck all. My eyes are sleepy but the rest of me won't follow. It's fine though I'll make broski drive and I'll autopilot through tonight's shift. I packed a lunch. D. But also also also also Ive been knocking out my household tasks. Still have to clean the microwave. And finish building a couple chairs but I have to find the parts first. And then fix the table and build a cabinet. Not today of course. E. My team lead is so sweet, she got a new Christmas tree and, bc she remembered me mentioning that i haven't got one yet, she gave me her old one I set it up already so momsauce will be surprised to see it. F. Had my 60-day eval, *tony tiger voice* grrrrrrAYT G. Brain is like having a vague notion that I'm going to say 2023's goal will primarily be to set up emergency fund + half a down payment for a house, continue saving and then try to be ready to for moving by the end of 2024 or going into '25. Broski is trying to be weird about it bc he wants to rush it but I think saving for longer is better because a bigger down payment will give us more options. He can do what he wants though I'm just vibing.
  21. One of my favorite low-effort meals is just any frozen vegetable + pasta or rice + hummus good point about the microwave potato! And thank you for your kind words
  22. Thanks my love, you too! The potatoes are a game-changer for sure I bet they'd roast up well, too.
  23. TODAY'S JOBS: 1. I'm working a partial shift this morning, leaving in a bit to get there. Working from 5:30am to 10:30am, swinging back by the apartment to collect broski and then heading to the gym, come home, sleep, go back to work. 2. CLEANING - I will clear off the bar in the kitchen and also fold/put away the laundry 3. FOOD - So far today i have had a cup of tea and a clif bar. so 30 protein done. The stuff i cooked yesterday made a metric heck-ton, so i'm pretty much good on real food for the week AND have some vegetables for snacking. I discovered a beautiful thing yesterday when ordering groceries for momsauce, too. I did not know you can get frozen, steamable potatoes???? Like it's literally a bag of peeled/chopped potatoes you just slam in the microwave for ten minutes and then you can mash them???? This is Very Important. I got four bags to keep in my No Spoons But Need To Eat Stash. 4. COURSE WORK I FORGOT ABOUT MY 5. Doing my dang coursework is, of course, also a Goal. I will finish these courses that i signed up for.
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