Casbin

Still here, still working. Not MIA, just not as prominently posting as I'd like. And hi Harriet, thanks for stopping bye!

Hey Zeroh, I know you've been lurking, how are your days coming along?

That's an awesome win right there! Kudos for toughing it out under Stress.

The dreaded third week is here, let's tough it out we got this! Week 2 went pretty well. I didn't necessarily got one group each as planned but the setup is mainly there and I'm rearing to get started. There is no use in reaching a perfect state. All gears are in place, most distraction traps are dealt and I will incorporate the rest as a decluttering session over the next few challenges. Habitwise things have been a bit ambiguous though. I missed the foodlog on Monday and Sunday; Surfaceraid on Friday and Social Creature on Friday. Originally, the Setup was 5/7 to begin with but I've decided I'll be going with 6/7 with the loophole to cope with limited willpower and only that. No major surprises, no wiggleroom in any given week. Let's roll out the actual Challenge from here on: Habits to keep: No Judge foodlog x/7 Surface Raid x/7 Selfcare x/7 Joy/fun x/7 Social Creature x/7 Goals for the next 3 weeks: eat Breakfast x/7 - regular meals have always been a Challenge, especially having Breakfast Work out 2x a week x/2 - 5 Habits are enough, so do any workout, if it's allround or physio's routine it counts Declutter1 place a day x/5 - left overs and all that, I'm ok with how it is but there is more room for comfort bureau/jobhunt x/5 - well papers need to be dealt with and I need stuff to show to get my plan approved read on nutrition x/3 - Double the ressult here, learn for yourself and prep for the above at the sametime Be a GM x/5 - I've made some progresse, ideas started to appear but they need to be molded in a presentable form Be a Grownup x/5 - seriously, I'm back in control but the appartment needs some more work. I don't think, I've talked about goals and stuff just yet? Let me give a quick catch up on that. I'm a 34 yo guy from germany. My mainfocus is to Gain Weight in a moderate way, not necessarily muscle mass, with about 65kg at 185cm I can use a little more meat just fine. Fitness wise, well Sports should be fun first and foremost, I probably won't train more often then thrice a week if I include a weekly run. But winter is coming closer, I'll wait and see what's going to stick. But one thing I know is that I hate running on a treadmill. Tabletennis, Volleyball, a Martialsport, Dedication or some such are decent options, exercising weights with a mask on is not an enjoyable idea to me though. I've had my fair share of pittraps in challenges before, so I'll keep the steps as small and sustainable as I possibly can. See you in a bit, I'll go get some more stuff done before the chatting

I'm kinda lost for words here... but about this Besides being mindfull about it being awesome. It's already impressive that you are clinging on for dear life and keep coming back here. As I see it forcing those steps in midnightish or like 4am and pushing yourself past the breaking point won't help you either, will it? Even hiding in the bathroom for half a minute to calm yourself or acknowledge that you are hurting sounds like a decent win under the circumstances. Hope you are ok!

Week 2 Planning session ahead! Be a responsible adult Clean the remaining cupboard Clean cabinets 1, 2, 3 Livingspace & Batcave declutter the final corners 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 figure out stepcount error on MFP Give forest a full day testrun Planning stuff clear up leftover matters with boss Turn in final paperwork sketch out an actionplan in case you don't get called back recalculate budget bassed on paycheck Do the step by step tutorial for vistaprint 50% done contact insurance contact fitness club Game changers! Most importantly Habits to keep going Log what you eat on MFP (nonjudgmental) 6/5 Surface Raid 6/5 Selfcare should be a habit! 7/5 Do something joyfull or fun 7/5 Stay in touch with people (and NF) 7/5 There might be a few odds and ends missing but whatever I'll just add or ignore them as seems reasonable. About the weekend, taking those two days of worked great! I still took care of things without feeling like I need to keep things to do over the weekend for my goals. As a little extra, necessary clothes shopping got done, I went back to the workshop to run maintenance on my shoes & it was fun! It's been ages since I didn't feel stressed from simply entering that place. I'll have to come back to fix the lacing in a while but that's another story. Halloween was fun with seeing a mutual friend and spending time with good people. Without the whole no-paycheck-anxiety it would have been a great time overall. It took me all day yesterday to figure out that nonsense but it's done and hopefully I won't need to sue them due to further acting like a B*. The gruntwork is done, let's roll out and make this week productive AND fun! Cas

Ok, I've finally been back in the saddle this morning. The task list has been updated, I'm about to leave a quickrundown for week 1 and will keep moving down from there. Last week worked out surprisingly well all things considered! I've been dragging my heels all the way all day while moving along the trench but things got done. Looking back, I've stuck to the plan and did at least one thing for every category on each day and owned up to my habits. If I can pull off a semi-productive week Goal oriented habits should be ready to go by week 3! I originally planned to keep this out of here to not run down the path of venting here again but it's been getting in my way, so let me put this outand move on from there. My current employment just came to a personally disappointing end on Sunday. It's been a big part the whole exhaustion thing bc they didn't exactly act appropriatly but I finally had my paycheck on the account this morning. With this the worst anxiety ridden part is over and there are only a few meandering emotinal things to clear while I pursue a fresh start. Let's talk about the good parts though! The appartment is coming along just fine and I'm getting to a point were I feel comfortable being around all day. This has mainly been about getting rid of my roomies weird habits that bothered me when I missed the energy to fight it off. My own livingspace changed from surrounding me with things I enjoy or carry good memories towards a setup that entices grows and productivity as well. I need working space on the desk in the coming times if I want to actualise the path I see ahead. There are still a few corners to declutter and find the stuff I need to fix my workout gear but I am getting closer every damn day, even on shitty days. Most Gadgets are ready at the tips of my fingers and I feel like it is a feasable system. By the way, I checked out your idea of habitbull athousandwords and the simplicity is just perfect at this point in time! I'm keeping track of my tasks and dailies in a bulletjournalish style anyway and habitbulls yes/no style fits in very well to keep me from overcomplicating things. The only questionmark for now will be if I can get used to forest and if it can help me figure out how much time I spend on stuff. I am actually a bigfan of YNAB but a monthly paymentplan really is putting me off just fine. I eyed GNU instead but that's something I'll try again at a later time. For the moment I'm back to using a simple spreadsheet to fit my current whack necessities of using my income as a baseline of orientation and just putting it beside my account balance. Next step will be about figuring out which expanses to cut to gain some more leeway and work things out from there. On another note, there have been a few things about this challenge that turned out to be rather counterproductive and I will be changing them. For one thing, writing down increments for selfcare & hobbys turned them into a task rather then things I enjoy. Those things will be changed into a habit without the tasklist. Instead I will just keep a misc-list for things I don't want to forget about. And one more thing I noticed that's only halfrelated is that I enjoyed picking out 2 things for the categories to choose from each day but not crossing out both felt like an incomplete task... I'm not yet sure how I want to get the good part of both sides, guess I'll try a few things and see what sticks. First try will be an actual XOR mark inbetween, the subconsciese me tends to be weird like that and need it. Aside from that, I'm already thinking about how I want to do this when the list turn empty. Thanks for ready through all this stuff, I know I'm a wordy person but writing things out has alwaysbeen a great help for me. See you again in a bit Casbin

Uhm, this might be a stupid question but is ambulant health care an option in your area? Just yet another reminder, you are absolutely NOT a bad person and your mom is literally out to make you share her pain and helplessness. Be as good to yourself as you can, bc you deserve more then "just" that.

Just stopping by to let you know I'm still here. I'm freaking exhausted rn but progress can be seen and your comments have been appreciated and checked out. I'll be taking the weekends off and just work on what I feel like. But a proper update on how things are going will happen sometime tomorrow after shopping and workshop plans. See you soon with more brain capacity Casbin

Ok, after a pretty good start I've been in a lurch yesterday & the start today isn't that much better. Let me write out some things and see if this is gonna help to being focused again. responsible adult Batcave/Living space planning stuff Selfcare/Downtime social creature Gamechangers Habits in the making: Log what you eat on MFP - 6/5 Quick surface raid 5/5 There are quite a few things I've got done that never appeared on my list. But it should be the gist of it all. Here is to moving towards the starting line on proper fitness, eating and awareness! See you soon Casbin Progress edit based on week 1. Lists are marginally shrinking, they will move in a new post.

Hey, thanks for stopping by! I really, really like that a lot of us keep coming back here every now and then! For one part it says a lot about the community here. For another, Rule #2 is real! I may have been gone for a few years but I never stopped feeling like this place is a part of my life. Which is weird enough, considering we are talking about an online community, but being around is giving a feeling of unity. I'm not so sure but I really want to make this happen! Working around mental roadblocks will be quite interesting and challenging which may or may not lead to a liberating experience. Have a good time today! I'll try to get myself sorted and get around to posting some more concrete Infos.

Alright, it is day one and I already am behind schedule. Time to get the ball rolling! I was originally going to borrow the idea of lifeheads as described by TEMPUS and repurpose it here to keep a balance. But that would have led to a bit too much diversity and I've grouped a few of them. Let's have a look: Be a responsible adult - this is really just here as a riminder so I won't ignore life and end up with a mess Batcave/Office - Rearranging stuff and reestabilishing access to gadgets that will further my grows Administrative and planning stuff - getting in touch with people, figuring out were I am going, rarara Selfcare & Downtime - I am focusing on sustainable change, taking breaks, doing things for myself and catering to my hobbys will be a big part of that Be a social creature - Meet friends, stay in touch with family, posting in other peoples challenge, heading out for a good time - again, reminding myself to not ignore other things for sustainability Gamechangers - The Big stuff for this Timeframe, revisit what I've lernt about nutrition, keep learning more and be a RPG-GM - those are the breakthroughpoints that push me out of the comfortzone I'll keep a nitty gritty list of tasks for these Categories on spoilers from here on out, so I cann cross things off and add on as necessary. But here are the Finishline signs and other interesting remarks: Adult - I've taken care of the backlog and keep things going with good old habits - Overachievement: Cleaningplan agreed and useable for roomies, signs of Rainbrowprocrastination: Scrubbing the tiles, heaters etc. Batcave/Office - I've got the stuff I need at hand, workoutspace is created and most gadgets are linked and figured out; Overachievement: All files sorted and moved away; Rainborpro.: Tools are supposed to help! Planning - figured out the local customs, financing is cleared and I am enroute to learning new stuff; Overachievement: Already deep into learning new things; Rainbow: Move forward, don't dive into details Selfcare & Downtime - No finishline just do something every day and move on to new projects; Overachieved: Hat done, Shawl frogged, Pullover at hand; Rainbow: no being gone till 2-3 am Social creature - another area at the ready, just do something for it every day. The Gamechangers: Nutrition: Log your food on MFP - log only no goal hunting Weight-in for the challenge One item from the list every day Being a GM: Take a step towards your first Game each day And this should be a decent start to knowing were this is going. One sidenote might be appropriate, the finishline statements are not solely for grading but also to add habits/goals to work on once I'm past them! Have a good start into this Challenge Casbin

Tagging along to root for you. Being a caretaker is harsh but you git this, especially as you know she tends to get in your head. I love that you made it a goal to do a reality check! Will pop by occasionally, don't let life get to you Bean!

Hey fellow rebels, I am Casbin a former member of the Rebel Subforum. While I am not exatcly new around here I haven't been on for a few years but kept missing the Community around here. You know how it goes, priorities need to be set and my path had me occupied with another angle. I will do a proper introduction and layout for the challenge later on but let's get down to business first. The title says it all, I wasn't expecting for a new Challenge to start tomorrow but let's roll with it. As said already I am enroute to a reboot which is why this intervall is taged as a lifestyle-challenge. Why prep a reboot you may ask? Do Not Procrastinate - get on with it. Thing is, I have no effing clue were I am at or headed. It is time to take a look at the Journey of the past few years, count my blessings and clean up my turf. Or to put it nerdier terms. I am wrapping up an entire Campaigne right now, loads of things have happended and have grown and sharpened my PC. Rather then jumping head first into the next Adventure, I will review the spoils, refurbish the Fortress and move on to a new Campagne. Now you have been warned, my goals for this Frame will be fast and loose for subjective goals are hard to quantivy. A proper Framework is already in the making but I wanted to put this out there before I can chicken out of it and let you know that this might be a bit far out compared to the predefined Layout. If you are good with that, be my guest and I will accomodate you to the best of my abilities; if it's not your cup of tea, no hard feelings, we all take this endevour to the best ofour abilities. See you soon, there is more stuff to be done before Icanget the ball rolling Casbin

Hej Bean, It already been a weak, so I'll keep it as concise as possible. I never intended to get under your skin, besides nothing is wrong with what you said. Though you know me too, I still think that you are stronger then you realise. Sorry to hear that you had a Funk like that, hope you'll find your footing about the matter. But it is great to hear that you like the internship that much, it's the best sign that it's a step in a good direction. Show that code who's boss