Dragon_Lady

It's been a hot minute since I've been here. I have gained quite a bit of weight, had a few injuries, moved, lost myself, found myself, lost myself again, lost my precious furbaby, evaded Covid, and finally, have been awakened by something in the air. My main quest: Get to 145lbs and can bench 160lbs or higher. I want strength. Smart goals Keto (under 25g net carbs per day) Workout at least 2 times a week doing bodyweight workouts and walk 3x a week Meditate at least 4x a week. I guess I should re-introduce myself at this point. I’m 40 now, I’m still a dragon, I like nerdy stuff. I just got a new job, now doing tech support, I still draw, play FFXIV still, and sit in my rented room most days, having mini existential crisis..crisisis, crisises? Bleh I still ride, although now I ride an Indian Scout named Loki (of whom takes after his namesake by being extremely ornery and is why he got that name in the first place). I am now 311.8lbs. When I started this year I was 330lbs. Then, we had a sudden and life altering death in the family and despite the fact that I feel like it's an excuse, I needed to mourn. I didn't overeat to the point of gaining all my weight back, I had lost like 5 or 6bls at the time, and I stayed stagnant. But I didn't eat keto. I think the real reason why I kept that weight is due to VR being so absorbing. Beat Saber, Pistol Whip and Skyrim kept the weight down. Then, like an idiot, I did a squat challenge. Big fat me doing 100+ squats per day. My knees disconnected from my body, slapped my face and told me no. I am just now able to really be able to walk again, and I can't go out and walk a mile like I used to. I went from running up the stairs and walking a mile in 20 mins to not being able to go about a block before pain starts up, but it's going. My shoulder has always hurt so I'm just going to deal with that pain. My main goal of this life is to be strong. I want to be so strong that I can lift 200+lb people with relative ease. I want to be able to punch and fight and protect anybody that needs me. I want to be a warrior. But I am a mysticist at heart and soul and a martial artist in my head. So I don't know exactly where I belong yet. Maybe I'm a druid still, maybe I'm not. I'm still back on the Tai Chi train, since I don't really have the cash to afford to take a martial art yet, nor do I even feel like I could if I wanted to. Not with this messed up knee. But I will do it. I am old now, so my movement is limited. What I can accomplish is very limited. But I have been summoned and I have a job to do, and I have to be strong to be able to do it. I'm not exactly sure what my routine is going to be either. Right now I'm doing the Nerdfitness level 1 workouts, and just following along its recommended routine and replacing things that hurt until I figure out where I want to be. ___________________________________ How long it been since she fell? 4 years? Dragon years or human years? She had no idea anymore. She clutched her painful shoulder, and walked out of her cave, gently, with very bad and injured knees. So much has happened to her mentally, physically. She couldn't even remember the last time she flew. All she knew was that she received the call. She heard it resonate through her person, vibrating her soul and forcing her to move, despite her desire to remain stagnant. She huffed and sniffed at the air. The moon was full and magick was rampant in the air today. She wanted to test her wings, but knew there's no way she could fly like this. She had to work her way to being able to answer the summons.

Man I'm having a bad day. Like, a really bad day. I worked out this morning and with this stupid cough I couldn't really get through it without stopping a lot to drink water and stop coughing. I couldn't keep my breath. I know it's shark week for me, and I know what that means and yet...I can't help depressing myself. I want so badly to be thin and pretty. I try to say that I want to be healthy for me, and that is true, I do want to be healthy for me. But I also just want to be normal. I just feel like I'm not doing enough and I need to work harder. I need to punish myself more. Ugh. Today I had: 2 eggs, 3 turkey bacon 1 hamburg, 2 slices of bread, lettuce, tomato, mustard, mayo, pickles 1 bag of popcorn 1 sandwich turkey, lettuce, tomato, mustard, mayo, pickles 1 slice of cake 3 shortbread cookies I shouldn't have had: 1 slice of cake 3 shortbread cookies 1 bag of popcorn Oi.

Ok so the past 2 days I have had small but good victories. 1. I passed on pancakes. TWICE. 2. I started eating a salad a day. 3. I hit 1500 in calories the entire week. 4. I worked on and finished a starter website. GOOD STUFF! I shall continue this trend, and hopefully since I'm hitting my food goals I'll start losing weight. Now that the plague is mostly gone (minus a cough that won't go away) I'll start doing workouts again, starting tomorrow. I decided since everybody says it takes food I'm going to wait before I spend $40 a month on a gym membership. I'll just do my beginner bodyweight and that other stuff I been doing and just jog around the house.

Yes! I just finished a tiny project and man I have a loooong way to go. But I thank you and probably will be asking you for help lol.

I'm rather late on this, and I know it. It's what, Jan 8th? ugh. I wanted to start Jan 1st but yay me caught the plague from someone and I have been nearly dead for 2 weeks. Ok let me not start off being my normal grumpy dragon self, let me at least put some stats down and what I plan to accomplish. Age in human years: 37 Weight: 299-303lbs (depending) Human form height: 5'4" Ideal human form weight: 135 lbs What I want to accomplish in 2018: So I know we're not supposed to put in "lose xlbs" or whatever so I'm going to do it opposite. There's a number I don't want to be by the end of 2018. Under 280lbs Working out 2-3x a week Learn html5 Learn CSS Learn Javascript Learn ____ Learn ____ Get another job (preferrably as a Jr Web Developer) Be debt lowered by November (I has plan and realize I won't be debt free in a year, but, cc's can be gone...car will take many moons to be paid for) That's actually a lot of stuff but for the first time, probably ever, I feel like I can actually do some of that. The learning bit for sure, just takes time. The under 280lbs part...I dunno. I don't' really have any clue how to lose weight anymore. See, I've been all over Reddit, all over MFP, all over Mark's Daily Apple and blah and blah. Paleo will make you lose weight. Keto will make you lose weight. CICO will make you lose weight. Fasting will make you lose weight. All you have to do is workout heavy and eat lots and you will lose weight. 5 meals a day will make you lose weight. Hydroxycut will make you lose weight. Eating grass from your yard will make you lose weight. Getting your energy from the sun will make you lose weight. Nothing will make me lose weight. Except for...._________. That magical something that I have yet to discover. I more than likely, have to eat 1300 calories, and only when I'm starving. I also probably have to eat under 50g carbs daily. I also probably have to eat nothing but meat and vegetables. As much as it pains me, I'm going to have to go back to being paleo but very low calorie paleo. My body doesn't know how to run on anything more than that. Apparently I was built for starvation times. So as it is. So this is what I'm going to do, starting probably tomorrow (I need to go shopping today) 1400 calories (going to start here and just try to go under) 50g carbs Tues, Thurs, Sat/Fri Nerdfitness/Fitness Martial/Fitness Blender workouts 1hr or more coding everyday but Saturday Well, here I go. May the Force be with us all.

I feel like I failed myself. But that I didn't. I stayed around the same weight, but, I also started to do workouts, I started to really pay attention to my life choices, and I have decided on what I want to do going forward. That's kind of a 50/50 win/loss type thing. The only real reason why I think I "failed" this week, is because I got a viral infection and it's been painful to do much of anything. It's like I had the flu, with fever, coughing, sore throat, dizziness, all the works but it's not a flu strain. I managed to get a workout in on Tuesday, and even went up to 30lbs resistance too...only to have the virus really smack me in the face and make me practically sleep all the way through until Friday. I also have had mostly soups, which you'd think would make me lose weight but, who knows. Either way, next week, Anytime Fitness has their join for $1 program, which I was waiting for, and I'm going to join up so I can get some real walk/jog and lifting action. Hopefully I'll feel better by then and I can really get into the swing of things. I plan to have this year be my year. I don't have anything to stop me, except for me, so I think I can pull it off this time.

There's something about myself that I had an epiphany about. I figure it's something I should have picked up years and years ago, and despite what I've been trying it's just now donned on me. I don't need a lot of food to survive. Also that I don't really like OMAD. I need a bigger window of like 2-3 hours to eat foods and not feel awful. I guess the fact that fasting has become a thing for me lately that I even really put much thought into it. Well, much good thought into it. Sure I'd be angry at myself, yell at myself and cuss myself out because I don't have the genes to be able to eat whatever I want and just cut out soda and lose 15 pounds in 3 weeks. I'd look at posts on reddit, on here, on other fitness forums from people who did little things and immediately their body just focused in and the weight dropped off and I'd get so angry at myself about it. Because it's something that I can't change. Seemingly everybody else has a body that isn't so stupid as to hold on to everything I give it instead of using it. This morning, as I was half asleep staring at the coffee pot, wishing I had kept the Keurig hooked up it dawned on me. My body isn't stupid. It's efficient. My body is holding onto everything I give it because it doesn't need very much to run. I have been overflowing the gas tank of a hybrid electric that doesn't go on the highway to use the gas I'm giving it. Sure, everything says my TDEE is 1869 calories, and to eat less than that to lose weight would be around 1500...but I don't think I even need that many. I think I can honestly get away with about 800, maybe 900 a day. I think I am going to redo everything from trying to eat 1100-1200, and honestly strive for under 1000 or right at 1000. Not only that, but, I'm going to attempt to do one full 36 hour fasting day every week. From Tuesday night through Thursday until 1pm. I realize that's longer than 36 hours but, 36 is the minimum. So this is what it's going to look like: Sun: Free time day Mon - Tues: 1pm-4:30pm eating window Wed: Water fast (or broth if needed) Thurs - Fri: 1pm - 4:30pm eating window Sat: Free time day My weekends being free time allows me to have a nice big breakfast if I want and have dinner with the family. It feels like it's sustainable, since Mon-Fri I'm at home all day and don't usually go out, barring holidays. I'm going to try this for now through Feb. 1st and see if I lose any weight. If this fails, I'm going back to my water fast for 4 days, eat Friday after 1pm - Sunday schedule where I lost 15lbs easily. Edit: Also, check what the nutritional facts are of the stuff you go to get. I went to the store and found some paleo cookies that were supposed to be almond flour based (and they really are) and have dark chocolate chips in them. What I didn't see was the fact that they are 150 *^%$#% CALORIES PER COOKIE And I'm not talking some huge special sized cookie, no, I'm talking they are regular ass sized cookies. I didn't realize this until too late as I was going to add them to MFP before I went to bed and ended up having 3. I had 450 extra calories in 3 cookies. I could have had NESTLE TOLL HOUSE COOKIES AND HAD LESS CALORIES AND CARBS. sigh.

I have had a hellish week. Finals in the term have pushed me to the limit, at about 8pm every night I'm so tired I can barely think straight. Thank the Force for Halo Top. I can't even eat the whole thing in one sitting so that 260 calories gets stretched to like 2-3 days. Either way I enjoy the hell out of it. Saturday I made plans to go to the mall and get some stuff for my family for Christmas. This is something that's so huge to me, it's kind of crazy. Before, it took everything I had to be able to walk in Walmart without feeling like I didn't belong there. For me to think "hey I bet I could find something for my sister in law in the mall" and not feel any fear about going in is a huge thing. Not in all my 37 years have I ever gone to the mall by myself and not felt like shit about being there. Like everyone was staring at me, wondering why I had the audacity to walk in their space, and invade their lives with my ugliness. Now, I don't care about them or their opinions. I only care about what I can get on sale and finding a decent parking space. It's funny what a severe anxiety attack and some Reddit trolls can do for you.

Used my resistance bands for the first time today. Was great! I also did a full body workout with them and I am tired but not sore which is good. Cooldowns are ftw. I did fantastic in the food department today. I had a giant salad for lunch and meatballs I got from Ikea with Brussels sprouts and onions that I sauteed in some butter to go with it. I ended up with 1187 calories for the day with 48 carbs. A little more calorie and carb than I want but it's a big improvement over my mess up yesterday. AND the most important thing to mention here is that I ate when I was hungry AND waited until my fasting time. No nibbles here and there, just mindfulness and tea. Lots of tea. I've been craving tea for a few days and honestly I don't mind that at all. All in all a good day. And I feel zero guilt for eating!

Yes. Take today, i didnt eat much but god it feels awful putting all that in your face all at once. Some days I feel like being full would be awesome but some days it's really not.

I screwed up today. It's not really going to set me back or anything, but it for sure confirms what I need to do. I was supposed to fast today and I ended up not only not doing it, but I ate 2 batter dipped fish piecs and some of the chocolate pudding in the fridge. Feeling pretty upset w/myself. So tomorrow I'm contemplating a very small OMAD: 2 eggs, a bacon, 1 boiled egg and a salad and call it a day. It's going to be about 767 calories. I'm trying not to do that thing I used to do where when I messed up I'd go halls to the wall crazy about it. I'm also trying to rationalize actually eating since I know if I water fasted I'd be under 280 lbs by now. Matter of fact, I have full water fast still on my calendar. I should really just doit like I said I was. Full water fast until the 23rd, break for Xmas, go back on Jan 3rd, and don't stop for 14 days. Take a week off then do it another 14 days. Hmmm. Either way, my resistance bands have come in so now I have bigger ones to use to get stronger. Tomorrow I get to use them for the first time. kinda excited, oddly enough.

So today I did another omad. I am able to separate my body's hunger from my brain's desire to eat. Like right now, I'm 20% hungry. Just enough to feel it. My brain is trying to get me to eat something but I refuse. I can wait until tomorrow. My big issue though is that Friday, Saturday and Sundays are family days and I don't really know what they are going to be doing all the time. If I go omad those days, I may not enjoy it. So I think for the time being I'm going to just do it M-Th. I may even completely do a 24 hour fast on Wednesdays. Today I did my bodyweight workout, I upped the tension on my resistance bands, and decided to buy some more with higher resistance. So those should be here soon. Probably Sunday I'm going to go down to the Anytime Fitness and get a 7 day pass to see if their weights are worth paying $40 a month for. Also, next week I start tracking food again. I stopped for Thanksgiving, there was no way I was going to sit and measure out everything...most of what I ate was homemade so I couldn't even begin to think what was in it.

Hi fellow biker! I have been doing https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/beginner-body-weight-workout-burn-fat-build-muscle/ For the past 2 weeks, 3 times a week. Instead of using a milk jug I have resistance bands that I've been using. I do like this, and I'm breathing like I ran from Godzilla afterwards but it doesn't feel like I'm doing enough. I may switch out my 10lb bands for 15lbs and have a go, see if that works. I also have been thinking about adding some ankle weights and maybe a weighted shirt to keep on me on a constant basis.

My main quest: Get to 145lbs and can bench 160lbs or higher. Smart goals 1. Eat one meal a day (omad). 2. Eat paleo 80/20. 3. Workout at least 2 times a week doing bodyweight workouts I guess I should introduce myself since that’s next in the line. I’m 37, I’m a dragon, I like nerdy stuff. I just finished watching The Tick on Amazon and it was amazing. Go watch it. I also draw, play ffxiv and sometimes wow, and I’m currently going to college to try to become a web developer. I just bought a Kawasaki Vulcan S 650 that I named Leonard and I’m riding again for the first time in 2 years. It’s good to be back in the saddle. Nowadays, I’m in a place where I no longer give 2 bits about anybody’s opinion, and therefore am clear to, say, run or walk along the road. Find and go to a gym. Walk around the mall just for the sake of walking, things like that. So I think I’m free to explore what I need to explore in order to lose weight. Also, my main thing really isn’t about the weight loss anymore. Sure, I’d prefer to lose weight but I want to be strong more than anything. So my goal is really to gain muscle. If I lose weight while I gain muscle, great. If my body refuses to lose weight despite my attempts and I just end up as some weird creature that’s 200lbs of fat and 150lbs of muscle than great too. So today was my first of my omad. Pretty hard actually considering my mother decided to bake freakin bread after she got home. I could really go for some right now and the smell is driving me crazy. But I can’t. A couple of weeks ago I went 4 days without food (lost 15 lbs woo) so I think I should be able to handle omad. I am, however, going to have some white hot chocolate, which I know is so not paleo and breaks my omad rule but this history class is driving me slightly insane, and it’s too dark for me to ride so I’m treating myself. Horribly, yes, but I’m doing it anyway.

Damn. Thats some rough crap there. But you sound like you're turning that anger into something worthwhile. I wish you the best in your journey, and kick ass along the way.