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PollyannaAgain

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  1. Ha! Hilarious...told you guys I was bad at this...At any rate, life has calmed down somewhat, and I feel like I've almost got a handle on things enough to really commit to my plans. I went to see a new GP who actually believed me when I told him about my migraines because he has them too. I went in to get my blood sugar checked b/c I'm still struggling to lose any weight. I'm not diabetic, or even pre-diabetic apparently. I was happy, but also at a loss for what to do next. After we talked, he recommended I start taking melatonin to improve my sleep quality, which he thinks will help with the migraines and weight loss, and then he also put me on a different acid reflux medication because that's been a big problem this past year. I'm supposed to go back to talk about my neurology appointment with him, but I haven't scheduled the appointment yet. I think I am sleeping a little better. At any rate, I've had more energy the last few weeks, and that's been nice. Cross your fingers for me! After that, but later in the month, I finally went to see the neurologist who confirmed that I did indeed have migraines with aura. He said that I'm at low risk for stroke overall so my migraines will only increase the risk slightly if I want to go back on my combination birth control. It's up to me whether I think that level of risk is acceptable...I haven't decided yet. I'm a bit torn on that point because in June, my period actually ended, and I've had two relatively normal (meaning with a specific start and end date...) periods. I think I'll just wait and see if that trend continues, which means I'd only have to decide between a mild risk of stroke and PCOS symptoms...Good times. On the reading front, I enjoyed all three of the Sarah Knight books that are out. I highly recommend them, especially if you listen to them. She's a fantastic narrator. I recently read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and enjoyed it, though some of her Type-A-ness made me cringe (possibly b/c I saw too much of myself reflected in it?). I think I'd like to do my own happiness project, so I've been brainstorming ideas on that front.
  2. I've added the book Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight to my list of how-tos. It's fairly entertaining. I also read her other two, but I think GYST is most applicable to what I'm up to. Yesterday, I brainstormed some habit loops for current bad habits and tried to build some for good habits I'd like to implement. I really struggle with the reward part for this stuff, just like I did when I was doing challenges on here. The loops devolved into points to exchange for future rewards, but I'm not happy with that. It didn't work for the challenges, and I doubt it will work now. Don't know what else to do about it at the moment. Also yesterday, I meal prepped! And then this morning left it sitting on the table...I did go to the gym today though, so at least one thing I planned got done today!
  3. Hello! This is likely to be quite boring to read for you, but I wanted a place to regroup. I've struggled the last few challenges, so I'm taking a break and working here instead. Once upon a time, I was a very kind and upbeat person. I'm not sure when or why that changed, but I honestly don't recognize myself any more. Both literally and figuratively. I'm looking now to find my way back to happy again. I recently listened to The Power of Habit by Duhigg, and am now listening to Unf*k Yourself by Bishop. I only just started the latter, but using the former, I've come up with a list of habits I'd like to change, and a set I'd like to get started. I'm going to start changes with 1) Stress Eating, 2)Negative Self-Talk, and 3)Drive Home Mood Drop, and I'm going to start new habits of 1)Exercising regularly, 2)Meal prepping, and 3)Regular Self-Care. I'm only going to work one at a time for now. I'm working on identifying the cue and reward for each of these behaviors right now. The first chapter of the second book talks about rephrasing self-talk to make the good stuff more assertive. His first phrase is "I am willing..." or "I am unwilling." I kinda liked the second one better for some things. I think it added some urgency to them. The phrases I've come up with so far include "I am unwilling to be unhealthy anymore," "I am unwilling to be sad," and "I am willing to be brave." It was an interesting exercise, and I think there's more to it, but that's as far as I got in the chapter before I arrived at work. But anyway! I'm working through those two books right now. I'm walking more, and I decided to go analog with food and workout recording and thus picked up a journal for it. I'm presently working through a professional dog trainer program, so you'll likely see dogs and training mentioned often. Cross your fingers for me! I'm hoping I'll last a lot longer with this thing this time around! (Which is probably not how the book would like me to phrase it, but I don't think I'm at that chapter yet...)
  4. I'm sorry you're feeling rough! I'm sending some positive vibes your way. *wiggles fingers*
  5. No worries! I haven't been participating much myself. Thanks for stopping by. I didn't make it to the gym. I was about to leave when someone I'm supposed to do a project with appeared and wanted "just a few minutes of my time." She wouldn't leave, so I had to stay. I didn't get much of a break at all yesterday, which was annoying, but I did take the dogs for a walk that evening so I didn't waste the energy I had.
  6. We survived our workshop! It wasn't nearly as all or nothing as they made it sound. We need to work on crating more, and on relaxing in the hotel room. I was so focused on getting her to enjoy the crate in various locations that I didn't even think about how the strange noises of a hotel might affect her. That coupled with the long car ride kind of stacked things against us this weekend, so she was very stressed to be separated from me. But now that I know, we can work on it, and I think I can set her up to have a much better time at the next one. Despite being upset about the crating, she was still able to perform all of her new behaviors and learn a new one from me and from someone else. She also didn't bark at anyone at all, except me (because I was working with another dog!), and a wheelchair that belonged to another participant when it rolled by. She'd never been around one before, and it was more of an alert bark than a freak out ohmygoshgetaway bark, and the girl didn't mind when I explained, so it worked out okay. She was a very good girl this weekend! I kinda put a pause on my de-stress stuff last week while we were making final preparations for the workshop, but it worked out okay because now that I know how the workshops are going to be, I feel like I lost a million pounds! And that feeling of relief even got me thinking I could go to the gym today. I have my bag ready to go, thanks to this challenge, so I'm going to at least change into my gym clothes today and walk over. I hope you all had a great weekend!
  7. My KPA teacher finally sent a basic outline for how the workshop is going to go this weekend. This would have helped me relax a couple of weeks ago, but isn't really helping now. Tonight I'm going to observe all the stress that KPA has created...It's an 8.
  8. Thanks for checking on me @zeroh13 ! I've been experimenting with things that help me relax in the evening. So far, meditation, hot tea, and a hot shower are very helpful. Reading would probably be if I didn't go overboard and keep going until 2am...I am picking out my clothes at night, and my gym bag is packed, though I haven't used it yet. I'm going to pack up my home workout equipment tonight and get it to my office this week in case I take a notion to do something. I'm struggling a little to increase my meditation time. I need to try doing it earlier in the day so I have less to do at night. I haven't addressed anything on the stress list yet, though after the nightmare I had yesterday night, I should probably get on it. In it, I somehow got chopped into three pieces, but I was still alive, and all my family had to do was put me back together and it would be okay, but they kept finding other things they "had" to do. Like, they would literally be reaching for me and then just wander away. So yeah. Gonna talk about my family tonight, which should be delightful. I'm sure there are things on that front that I need to let go, but the rest of it is going to need more work. Anywho, topic and rating for tonight: Family, 7-9 (depending on the day) Side note: My first KPA workshop is next weekend, and I'm SUPER nervous. Like, can't sleep (oh, wait, couldn't do that already) nervous. I'm both looking forward to and terrified of the workshop. What if I fail? What if Iz won't do any of the behaviors we've worked so hard on? What if she won't work with the other workshop people? WHAT IF SHE BARKS AND WE GET THROWN OUT??? But I'm looking forward to it b/c having a general idea of what will happen in the rest will likely cut my stress about this in half. Iz is smart and we're working hard, so the terror is probably uncalled for, but that's my MO--be incredibly hard on myself only to discover that I'm perfectly fine...
  9. I've been trying to lose weight for some time now, and nothing has worked. As a matter of fact, I've gotten heavier and more tired. The more I try, the less seems to work. I would like to give up, so if you're reading this, please be patient with me. I'm not in a very good place right now. The only other thing I can think of that I haven't fiddled with is stress. So that's what I'm working on this time. And probably for a few challenges after this. For this challenge, I have a list of tasks to work on to help me relax, but my main goal is to 1) explore my stress like a body scan and 2) let go of what I can't change. I probably won't be able to let go of everything right away, of course, but I'm going to put effort into it. I'm not going to post my explorations on here because with a body scan, you're just supposed to observe things and not try to change them. I will mention the topic I'm exploring for the day and give it a 1-10 rating for how much it feels like it's affecting me to keep myself accountable as far as actually doing things. When I come to something I need to simply accept and let go, I will post about it, if it's not too private. I appreciate encouraging comments, but I'm going to spoiler the "Let it go" stuff and ask that you not worry about providing helpful suggestions for dealing with them. Everything outside the spoiler is fair game though, so feel free to post on that if you want. As a baseline, I took two online tests (linked), and will re-take them at the end of the challenge. I don't expect much to change, given that I'm just trying to explore things at the moment. I got a score of 75 on this one, and a score of "High between 43-70" on this one. I went ahead and took two different ones because there's a lot of variation in what the tests ask you. I would have really liked to see a cortisol test or something, but the docs would probably just poo-poo me, so I'm settling for quizzes. And here is the list of stuff I'm working on to help myself relax: Health support: Multi-vitamin/probiotic/fish oil 1x/day; 64oz water/day; min. 7 hours sleep/night; min. 5K steps/day; MFP Increase meditation: Aiming for 20 minutes/day, can be spread over multiple sessions Yoga nightly Develop a wake up routine Develop a wind down routine Schedule and actually do self-care tasks (trim nails, lotion, etc.) Fix bedroom up (it's cluttered from moving stuff around, need to get rid of old clothes, etc.) Make things easier--pack the gym bag/pick out clothes the night before, etc. Thanks for reading and good luck with your challenge!
  10. We found out yesterday that my grandpa has cancerous tumors. One he's known about since 2015. I'm upset and confused, but I guess it's his choice. I know he feels he's ready to go be with grandma, but this is a horrible way to go. And what if grandma hadn't passed last year? Was he just going to leave her? Or has he been too sick since then to do anything about it? So yeah. Much sads. Much confuse.
  11. The puppy was adorable! He wanted to sit in the front with me, but I had him tethered in the back, so he just stood or laid on my center console until he decided it was nap time. He was much larger than my dogs were at 5 months, but it was mostly legs and floof. He arrived safely at the rescue after a couple more swaps on Sunday. I'll see if I can get the picture I took to upload later. Looking back at this challenge, I completed more bonus goals than real goals, but that's okay. I'm still hammering out some details for my next challenge. Stay tuned. It's sure to be hoot watching me try to relax...
  12. I'm okay! Thanks for checking on me. Iz and I are doing well with the training. Still worried about her barking at the workshop, but we're working on it. Yup! So far anyway! I think you're right about the gym. I have a whole bag of equipment I could use in my office, so I'm going to pack that up and bring it in. Thank you for reminding me. My OB referred me to a neurologist to "make sure my migraines are really migraines," which hurt. I thought she believed me. I had a nightmare last night that I went to him, and he refused to even talk to me and called me a liar. I know I'm not lying, and I know what I'm experiencing. And I'm really freaking tired of doctors not listening. I got a fraud alert on my new credit card yesterday. Someone tried to buy $3000+ worth of theater tickets and $1200+ worth of stuff at Best Buy online...The company declined it, thankfully, but I don't know how they got my numbers. So I spent five hours yesterday changing passwords, cancelling cards, and freezing my credit... I've done okay on my challenge this last week. I hit my step goal a couple of times, and my food goal several times, both of which are a nice change. I've been thinking about the gym and food and stuff and wondering why nothing seems to work, and I realized that I stress-eat (which I knew), and I've tried to adjust the eating, but I've never addressed stress. So that's my plan for the next challenge, and possibly a few more after that. I'm brainstorming my plan on paper at the moment, so stay tuned! I'm undecided on whether I should stay here 'cause y'all know me, or to test out posting with the Druids because they might have some insight on the stuff I'm working on... This weekend I'm going to help with my first rescue transport! I'm going to drive a 5 month old Malinois puppy for an hour of his very long journey to the rescue that's going to help him find a permanent home. I'm excited, but nervous...
  13. Still here! Dog school is going well. Everything else is just sad. I think next challenge isn't going to have anything to do with diet or exercise...Hmm...
  14. Thanks for checking on me! Things are going okay. I finished my inventory spreadsheet, so now I'm just testing and tweaking as needed. I'm training daily with both dogs and started KPA stuff, but I haven't videoed anything. I'm really nervous about KPA though. They don't want your dog to bark or whine at all during the workshop, and my girl struggles with that on entering an area with dogs sometimes. She does much better without her brother, and surprised me Sunday by not doing it at all, even though there was a dog barking at us from a nearby car. I was very proud of her for that! For the workshops, she also has to relax in a crate/kennel nearby for up to two hours at a time. That seems excessive to me for an eight hour workshop, but anywho. She's fine chilling in a crate, but she's never done it with me nearby or with another dog working nearby. So that's what we're working on! Last night, I crated her while I trained her brother, and then swapped them, so she could practice training while another dog was crated nearby. I put her in there with a fancy chewy that actually takes her a long time to demolish. She cried when I initially shut her in, but she was also working on her chewy at the same time...Once she got settled, she was good. The problem I really ran into, was that she wasn't done with her chewy when it was her turn to train and didn't want to leave it alone! I had to take it and lock it away in their food bin to get her to work and up the treat value to bits of hamburger. I have plans to take her and my giant stuffed dog to the park tonight to work with her on not barking at other dogs. We're going to start with the stuffy and work up to my brother's dogs. Assuming I can get him to get up off his patoochie and help me. If she does well working in vicinity of both of those, I'm going to start taking her to a training class I found on the weekends. It's a drop in class with an actual positive trainer, and you basically just work on whatever you want. If it goes well, we might even get a hotel room down there closer to April so we can practice working after sleeping in strange places! For my fitness stuff, I'm stuck trying to regularly hit 1500 calories a day right now. I always seem to be just over it! And I'm stuck at 7K on my steps too. I have no idea why that's been such a struggle, but there it is. I haven't made it to the gym yet. I had grand plans to go yesterday (even wore my sports bra to work to encourage myself to go!), but I got a migraine about 9:30 and it lasted all day. This one was unusual because I was dizzy and nauseous throughout. And my jaw, which has been hurting for nearly a week, quit hurting just after the migraine started and is now just sore...Anywho. Grand plans are on again for today at lunch. Gym bag is packed, and I left my laptop at home so I can't convince myself that staying and working on my business website is a better use of my time. Hm. More later, I guess!
  15. @zeroh13, I thought I mentioned attempting to cut back solely on sugar before, and I didn't handle it well, but I guess I was just thinking that when I typed these up! Thanks @Wobbegong! The tiny cuts were working well until this past week, but it was "Shark Week" as you guys call it on here, and I was woefully unprepared! I'm shooting for 1550 this week. In other (huge for me) news, "Shark Week" was normal this month! Well, pre-July '17 normal anyway (meaning it actually ended). So, yay! Happy dance! (Sorry if that's TMI for you guys, but it's a health concern I've really been struggling with this past year.) Also this weekend, I torqued something in my neck/upper back region when I slipped in mud walking with the dogs this weekend, so that's not cool. But is painful. Hmm. Oh, and I spent my vacation day at the local Honda dealer b/c they were the only ones who would do the regular maintenance on my transmission. I had to leave my car there all weekend on top of that b/c a thing that connects the muffler to the rest of the exhaust was broken. I'm thinking the culprit was a giant pot hole that must have opened up overnight, sinkhole style. Thankfully, I was going really slow when I hit it b/c there was water running across the road and a car in front of me, or it could have been much worse. It was a very expensive weekend... @Iceburner Thank you! Good luck with your goals too. :-) KPA is short for Karen Pryor Academy. I'm doing their program to get a trainer certification that will stand out in my area. It's for dogs, but the techniques work on lots of species. I'm hoping to offer training for cats and birds (like parrots) as well when I'm done.
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