PollyannaAgain

Mine leans more toward the "Let's freak out about this" spectrum rather than being productive and dealing with it. I jealously guard my weekend time with them. It doesn't help my "rushing away" issue any, sadly. It also means I don't do a lot of social things outside of the house, which is problematic since I would like a human partner also...And it also means I have to be creative about when I work on my business stuff (usually during nap time). Thank you. I should spend some more time on this, and it's something I can do on my down time at work. ------------- In other news, I'm killing the meditation stuff, and even started meditating at work when I start to feel yucky! AND today, I stopped stress eating a candy bar and ate a couple of baby carrots instead! Three cheers for progress! *does happy dance*

!! I tried so hard to get stuff like this going when I worked at the public library. This kind of thing worked best for participation with adults, surprisingly. If the library doesn't have a book you're interested in, would it count for the challenge if you asked them to borrow it for you from another library through interlibrary loan? Also, your food pictures look super nummy!

Sadly, they're eliminating school library positions in my little corner of Coal Hell Country, and honestly, they don't really value someone having that credential. Or teaching credentials for that matter. They actually passed a law in my state to allow anyone with a Bachelor's to teach. Also, my dad was a teacher, and what he went through really destroys any desire to be involved with the schools around here. Though I have toyed with the idea of running for the school board so I could make people squirm and throw a wrench in their idiotic plans when I felt like it...However, I'd have to quit my job to do it b/c state employees aren't allowed to run for office... Thank you for both of these. I think my job being my identity is part of the problem. My work day and commute combo are so long, there really is no me outside of work. I have a whole four hours each evening before I have to go to bed and start it all over again, and that causes me a lot of anxiety. I only get to see my pups four hours a day, and their lives are so short. I feel like it's blowing by without me. This is my brain's specialty! Coming up with all the worst possible things that could happen...I like the thought of defining things. I suppose the worst that could happen with the dog training is not making enough money to cover bills or eventually move out of my parents' house. Plus losing my years with the state (influences salary, etc.) and possibly not being able to find another position after I've left... I think the best thing I could do is reduce my debt and build a client base. Perhaps work on getting multiple revenue streams set up. That was the plan when I started making collars--make and sell those to help with money when I'm low on clients (training revenue tends to decline during holiday seasons, but those are good shopping seasons so...). I've really missed the ball on my business stuff lately though. I didn't sell a single thing during the Christmas season, which was totally unexpected, and I got sick so I haven't assessed yet to see what went wrong. There's free business help through the SBA, but I'm afraid to ask because my plan is just pft, you know? And also, crafting and getting clients takes up that precious time I could be spending with my dogs, so I actually resent even the thought of it. It's kind of a rock and a hard place. I want to do something else so I have more time with my dogs, but I have to spend more time away from my dogs to get to that something else...

Oops! Sorry! Didn't mean to tempt you.

Yay, interview! I have such a hard time finding shoes that work for my needs that I always try to buy an extra in case something happens to the first. I don't know if that helps your shoe conundrum any, but there it is. I hope your toe feels better soon!

Congrats on halfway! I hope you feel better from your cold/flu soon.

Wow! Look at all that! Nice job. Also, you got this!

Hugs for your rough day, and good grief, do I hate this phrase! People who don't have their world limited by being "just shy" don't really understand what's going on. I'm not even sure the docs really do. I hope you'll be able to find someone with helpful answers.

Congratulations! I understand the "fluffbanter" stuff and love that word for it! And I hope everything turns out okay for your friend.

I've got a bachelor's in linguistics and a master's in library science. I'm getting ready to enroll in a dog training program in another week or so. I think I want to move into dog training and a dog daycare, but I'm worried it won't work, and, as evidenced by my previous degrees, I'm having trouble sticking to things... ------- Thank you all for your thoughtful responses! I really appreciate that about you guys. I haven't decided what to do yet, but I feel less panicked thinking about it. I think I might need a blend of goals and "see where it goes and adjust"-ness. Which sounds like a non-answer typed out, but I have thoughts that I'm mulling over so we'll leave it at that for now. I had a nice, relaxing weekend, except for the fact the puppies didn't want to do any school...That was unusual and I had time so I had time to think and worry about it. We did fun stuff instead, and I'm trying to chalk it up to them being unused to me training them daily. I've been sick for almost a whole two months, so we haven't been doing a lot. I'm a little worried that Iz will continue like this when I'm trying to do my KPA homework though. I also discovered that I am pitifully weak right now. I hope it's just "right now" and not for real. Since I'm still having trouble breathing and coughing quite a bit, I'm going to pretend it's b/c I"m still sick for now...Does your mind feel healthy before your body does after you've been sick? Right now, my brain is all like "YES! Let's do it! Let's go!" and my body is all *cough*DYING*cough*Please stop... Anywho, how was your weekend?

I think I might be feeling some light at the end of the tunnel! Can't see it yet, but something is happening. I counted up yesterday and realized I've been sick for a full six weeks as of Tuesday. I started using the meditation app again this week. I had quit while I was very sick. I have a few favorite meditations to do, and then I found one that I had to quit right in the middle the other day. Rant: The take away, guys, is your emotions are valid regardless of whether there's someone out there who is the same or worse off than you. You can have compassion for someone else without downplaying your own pain or feelings. In other news, I'm doing pretty good getting my points in Achievement, but I haven't started the self-compassion workbook yet. I'm stalling this week, but last week, it was mostly because I was so sick. Both bullet journals are set up, and I'm pleased to say that having a separate dog training one has really improved our training sessions. I jot down a few things to work on each evening, and then I try to go through them like a checklist. The puppies have been very cooperative and happy to work, and we started a couple new tricks this week. I had planned to record my Novice Trick video this Saturday, but I don't think our newest tricks will be fluent enough. I'm going to keep on training and maybe just record Novice and Intermediate next Saturday. Do you guys have like a life plan or anything like that? Meditating and journaling has highlighted how much I feel like I'm just drifting along in my life. I never really made any more long-term goals after high school, where basically my only goal was to get into college because that's what people told me I had to do to have a life worth anything. I got into college and then was like "now what?" And I don't think I've had specific long-term goals since. Even going to grad school was totally a spur of the moment decision. I'm finding the rapid passing of time where I do nothing productive to be extremely distressing. The only time I don't feel like I'm going to just die tomorrow (like, the future feels like a big blank wall or empty void, depending on the day...) is when I'm with my dogs. And not having goals is also making me question my current career. Is this what I want to do with my life? What else would I do? I dunno because my only goal in high school was get into college. I didn't really explore my interests like I should have, I guess. Maybe I'm over-analyzing this whole thing though. Are life goals just stuff they do in movies? Maybe just sitting at work until it's time to go home is all there really is in real life...Thoughts?

But those aren't main goals. Thigh they might be the only ones that get done at this point. They send their thanks. I have mixed feelings about it. It's basically a self-help book with specific exercises at the end of each section. I don't mind if they know what I had for breakfast. I've no idea what they're researching though. --------- So far my 2018 has been juuust fabulous. I have bronchitis "and/or something bacterial." Quality diagnosis right there, yes? I'm miserable, and I haven't started a single thing from my list. However, I have lost three pounds. Woo. Go me...

It's called "Stop, Breathe, & Think." It's guided meditation. I hadn't thought of using an app for this before, but this one wins me points for the Achievement thing, so I figured I'd give it a whirl. Not bad so far. Thank you! Achievement is a website that basically pays you for your tracker information. You can connect MFP and several other apps to earn points. Every 10K points earns you $10, which isn't a great payout, but it's better than $0 so... Oh, and for the Achievement thing, I have a referral link that gets whoever signs up, as well as myself 500 points, so if you're interested, let me know! It expires on the 31st.

Happy New Year's! Wooo! I'm still hammering out my goals for the year, so this challenge isn't exactly related to them...but it is sorta. This challenge, I'm working on getting my head and my heart back on track. I think stress is holding me back, preventing me from losing weight and also causing some other issues. I have other minor things I'm doing in the background that I'll note too, but my challenge is: Meditate daily: I've already started working on this, and so far, so good. I'm using an app that is linked to Achievement, so I earn points (that become money later) each time I do. Complete the exercises in the self-compassion workbook I bought: I tried to work on it a week or so ago, but it made me cry and I was at work, so I need to pick a better time to try to work on it. I already bought a small notebook to dedicate to the exercises. Earn at least 10 points on Achievement per day: I can do that by-- Track food in MFP--6 points/day--Maybe I'll tinker with meal planning/prepping again? Track activity (steps, etc)--? points/day (It says "up to 80" not what the increments are...)--Going to build up my steps again, work on Focused Flexibility, and maybe do a bodyweight workout every once in a while. The gym is going to be stupid for a while, so might as well work from wherever for this month. Take measurements--6 points/day (weight, body fat, etc.)--I'm only using this one once a week though. I was going to do once a month, but I think I need to pay closer attention to these numbers than I have been. Might change it to once a month after this challenge. Meditating--6 points/day One & Done Set up new personal Bullet Journal Set up dog training Bullet Journal (yes, they need a separate one, mostly cause me = dog geek) Make dog training card game Make dog training cookie pots Outline goals for the year, make SMART Set budget Might add more later... So that's it for this time. I think it's the first time I haven't had some sort of dog training as a main goal. But the puppies won't suffer. I finally ordered my trick dog instructor packet to motivate myself to finally record their darn tricks. Cross your fingers for me, and good luck on your challenge too!

Has anyone heard of Achievement? I have a referral link for 500 points if you decide to sign up. :-)

Ta-da! Last day! I did really good checking in on my training classes, and I worked harder at doing stuff I enjoyed. I read most of the Mindfulness book, but didn't actually make any effort to do the mindfulness stuff. I should have worked harder at that... I've been sick all week with a sinus infection that was so bad at the beginning, I thought it was the flu. It's the first sinus infection I've had in two years, which suggests I really need to take better care of myself. So I think my next challenge will be more mind and self-care focused. And dog training, of course. I'm really excited for the next term in my dog classes. There's a gun dog class, and my dad is dying for a gun dog...I'm hoping we can train the puppies to work well for him. I don't think we can handle another a dog. Dad called about one the other day. He really wants one that's just his too, though. The puppies love him, but as soon as my sister or I get home, they don't pay him much attention. I've tried to get him to do more with them, but you know. Anyway, he said he'd do the class with me so I'm excited for us to do something together again too. :-) Merry Christmas and Happy Any Other Holiday you celebrate!

I'm sorry to hear about your mother and grandmother. But what wonderful news otherwise...I hope it through!

Fingers crossed and prayers sent! More *hugs*

Hi! I just got caught up! I'm sorry you've been having a rough time. I hope things start looking up from here, especially for the kitty. *hugs*

That's a good idea! Thank you! I managed to get all my notes done for my previous dog classes and am keeping up well with the current ones. They feel very slow to start this time, so that might be helping me somewhat! I did get very...discouraged last week because Lady Time came back suddenly. It's been going continuously since July, with a day or two here and there. I got my hopes up when it vanished for a week and a half near the end of my vacation. I went to the Lady Doc while I was on vacation and wound up getting an ultrasound. She keeps reassuring me that it's not cancer. I'm still afraid it is somehow. But it could also be stress-related. I'm very unhappy where I am in my life right now, both at work and in general. That's the main reason I started working on the mindfulness stuff and trying to do stuff I actually enjoy. I've been tired for so long that almost all of my hobbies have fallen by the wayside, even reading for fun. I'm still struggling to pick those back up, but I'm starting to have a little more energy, especially since I started journaling each evening. Oh, I also completely randomly had a nice thought the other day. I think it was nice anyway. I was really depressed after accidentally seeing myself in the mirror (yes, also something I need to work on), and the thought that one day, my new stretchmarks would be just a mark of another tough time that I lived through just popped into my head. I have other stretchmarks on my hips from a drastic growth spurt related to my scoliosis, and I think my brain tripped on those when it was listing my faults and had it's little Aha! moment. Having the thought has been quite encouraging and even made me think that maybe I might get back to a healthy weight again someday, despite nothing going well right now. We're getting our first "major" snow here today. I hope you all are doing well!

Guys! My very hungry self just came out of the grocery store with berries and mouthwash (what I went in for) and a new planner (unplanned, ironically), BUT WITHOUT ANY CHOCOLATE! Woohoo! Also, opinions please--I need to purchase an exam, but I also need to film my dog re-doing the first two levels of titles before I can submit my exam. You can order the exam before you have the titles b/c it's a study package too. But I'm dragging my feet on filming b/c Little Black Dog is hard to pick up on camera! She's just a black blob! I had to kidnap every moveable light in the house to get her to even be recognizable as a dog last time I tried filming. So here's the actual question(s): Would ordering the exam stuff encourage me to get the filming over with and should I do it? Or should I badger myself until I finally film (a technique going on three months but not working so far)?

I'm back for one more challenge this year, fresh off a two week vacation. Sadly, a single day back at work feels like it undid all my relaxing, so I guess I should do something about it. Here we go: 1. Follow plan in Mindfulness book. Note whatever you do in journal. 2. Finish notes on previous dog classes before December 1st. Done! 3. Check in on new dog classes daily. 4. Do something you enjoy every day. Bonus Points: Dog training--2min/day/dog Stop hitting snooze by the end of the month (at two three right now) Detail resolutions I don't know if I'm doing points this challenge or not. Not doing rewards since everything I can think of is related to money and spending money isn't very rewarding or practical right now...

Ha, did I drop off the face of the planet, or what? Thanks for following, guys!

It's going! The week was okay. I was a bit down through most of last week, but this is the last week before my vacation, so I'm feeling pretty good right now! My sister and I took the pups to the pet store and the park this weekend. Neither was as enjoyable as they usually are. Both places were very crowded, and at the pet store, my dog kept barking at any other dog she saw. She did get to make friends with a cute little puppy, but only because I was able to get the woman's attention and ask for a meet & greet before my pup started barking. The others that we encountered were too far away for me to get their attention in time. It's frustrating for both of us because I can't get her to stop which is embarrassing, and she never gets to meet them because, well, would you want to let your dog approach one that's barking like a maniac? Anyway. I'm researching what to do about it now. I want her to be able to make doggy friends if that's what she wants (pretty sure it is since she doesn't bark when she gets to greet the other dog). Plus, it'll be awfully hard to attend our training workshops next year if she won't quit barking!

Nice job so far! Keep up the good work!