Kvedulf

@Eirlys Thank you for that. Made me smile @EternalJourno Loving that quote. It feels like a combination of what I was saying about death and also the Miyamoto Musashi quote I have in my signature. I am taking this quote and using it. Thanks! So onto the final week update. I wasn't going to give a scoring system like I normally do after last week's defeat, but I decided to give a score in the end. I felt that to not continue was in a way, belittling what I had done this week. So here goes: MORALITY: Can't give a score here, but I think I'm doing pretty well. I'm more mindful of being considerate and polite in public. I know I'm much better at committing to doing things I said I will. And in terms of actual benevolence to people outside of my family, we did donate 15 garbage bags of clothing etc. to charity. I think that counts. And without bragging I feel like I've been courageous in getting back up on my feet after last week. COURAGE: Only got one workout done this week. Did a lot of yard work though, so I haven't been completely sedentary. Score: 33% BENEVOLENCE: Been playing with the little monkey and he now has a definite favourite colour: blue. He routinely gets all the blue balls from his collection of balls and lines them up. Super adorable. He also did the same thing with the food bag clips from the kitchen. While just as adorable it was mildly irritating as we couldn't seal up food packages POLITENESS: I've done really well with making time to meditate this week. I'm not doing it first thing in the morning, but I've finally set a habit for this: it's the first thing I do when I start to study. Score: 71% HONESTY: I'm really happy with this. 4 sessions of Japanese and I can now recognise all 42 hiragana! I've read every day as well but I haven't read any of the Hagakure. That's on the list for next month. Score: 78% HONOUR: Still haven't got my learner's renewed. Mostly because we can't afford it at the moment. Did get a theory lesson in though. Score; 100% LOYALTY: Work still progresses on the garden. Haven't been able to order the timber for the chicken coop or the raised garden beds, so they're on hold. Circumstances out of my control. That said, everything is cleared away and ready to go. And I've started studying for my diploma, much to my brain's disgust. Seriously, where the hell does ATP come from? Photosynthesis sucks! Score: 75% End score: 71.4% So all in all, a really good final week I think. I feel better, and most of the side effects have either stopped or are so negligent that I barely notice them for the most part. Onwards to the next challenge!

If it's any consolation, I get that feeling as well. I'm starting to think it might be all the brainweasels fighting your good habits because they don't really want to be dragged out into the cold light of day and summarily executed and replaced with good habits and self discipline. So long as you have the willpower to fight through these episodes, that's good. You've defeated the brainweasels and another one of them has been forced to commit seppuku. Look at how much you've achieved, how much more you're living. That is the point and reason to work out and lose weight. Remember, you are super-duper zero cool! (Currently using a random generating thesaurus to find alternatives to awesome. That's what you got. And before you ask, zero-cool is a compliment, even if it doesn't look like it at first. Plus it's zero cool to say )

Sounds like things went most praiseworthy (I'm currently using a random thesaurus to find new words for awesome. You get what you're given, even if it doesn't make complete sense) Decluttering is such a big job. Hopefully you do find that it was worth it. I know that we do, although it didn't take us eight months! Can't wait to hear the full catch up.

After reading that, I feel so happy for you. And inspired. And a little enlightened. I had to go to the thesaurus to find another word to use, because I realise I use awesome too much so I think your challenge went swimmingly and was dope (I had to use that word after an online thesaurus gave me dope as a random alternative. I thought it was too Kryptonian not to use)

Yay for happy dog. Awesome work on the Challenge. Enjoy the roadtrip!

How's things?

The Hobonichi Techo looks awesome. If I used a day planner, I would get that. Unfortunately I don't do real well with planners of any form. I think that may have to become part of next month's challenge now. Also, you're awesome!

I kind of want to say that your diet does actually make you superior, but I think that would make me a bad person

@Myrdinn I've heard of the book and heard how good it is. Also heard mostly really good stuff about the television series as well. Hadn't really thought about reading it to be honest but I'll definitely look into it. Unfortunately I haven't had a chance to read it yet and living in rural Australia makes it a little difficult at times to find books on the cheap. Also, there is nothing really lowbrow about your suggestion imo. I personally think that one of the best ways to know what a particular culture/philosophy is about is to read the fiction it inspires. It might be removed from reality but it captures the ideals of the philosophy better. It represents the ideals better. Just my 2c

I'm really enjoying it. I'm still only a little way into it, so I can't really do a review of it. But the general feeling I get is that Tsunetomo was the samurai equivalent of that grumpy old uncle at a party who has slightly outdated views on everything; routinely says "back in my day" and complains a lot but at the same time has crazy life experience and lots of valuable and useful advice on just about everything if you're willing to listen. Part of my goals is to adopt Bushido and it's in that light that I'm reading it. That said, there are some just plain awesome moments, like when he basically calls the 47 ronin a bunch of idiots

No need to apologise at all. I would quote the parts of your post that resonate with me but then I'd have to quote the whole post. But as a sometimes bug eating resident of Trolltown I know exactly what it feels like. All I can say is all those bad things you think of yourself as are not true. And I know this is really difficult to do, but don't stop posting here. We're here for the long haul, through thick and thin, and to support each other through the successes and failures. It looks like a lot of the problems you've had are things that were out of control, or resulted out of things out of your control. On the plus side, glad to hear the surgery went well and that you're seriously looking at going back to study.

I am, for the most part, feeling much better this week. Not motivated so much as I've drawn a line in the sand and now have that sense of not backing down and not giving up. And it's working. I'm not hitting my challenge targets but I'm doing a lot better. Two thirty minute sessions of Japanese and I can now confidently recognize 25 hiragana, have racked up about 6 hours of reading, done one workout, have been meditating, playing with the little man and even been able to do some horticulture study. I think I had a bit of a breakthrough with my head. It was something @EternalJourno said, And through my reading of various Bushido works and quotes at the moment, I've realised samurai are defined, more than anything else by three things. The first is a disregard for the possibility of your own death - a samurai is already dead, so don't let the thought of death or failure dissuade you. The second is unwavering loyalty to their lord; which I guess would be myself, making me a ronin. The third is absolute self discipline. And that is what I feel has clicked into place, even more so than before. I think what I'm feeling can best be described as the self-discipline required to be disciplined in specific goals. Hope that ramble made sense.

No treat/sweet for a challenge might be a good idea. Might also be worth looking at your calorie intake in general. I know for myself that if I don't eat enough and do lots of physical activity, I find myself craving sweet food for the sugary carbohydrate hit. Fortunately I don't have much of a sweet tooth so I don't need much sweetness, but I can imagine that if other people have a similar reaction but do have a sweet tooth or history of eating sweet food it would be a much worse result and could result in picking up some bad habits. I'm just kind of wondering if something similar might be happening for you? Is there any set of conditions that you find yourself wanting to eat something sweet? Like a certain time of the day or after a workout etc?

Awesome challenge! Enjoy the holiday!

Gorgeous dog is gorgeous!

Holy crap, I'm away for a few days and everything happens! And after searching for For the Greater Goat, this is what I found. It disturbs me slightly

That is super beautiful and sweet

Welcome aboard. And awesome to see another pulp reader about the place!

That is an epic clip. Gave me goosebumps. Surprising, given my love of samurai and Tom Cruise, I've never seen The Last Samurai. I feel like I need to rectify that. Thanks for the video EJ!

Currently reading Hagakure. Have read Bushido and the next on the list is the Book of Five Rings. Anyone have any other recommendations for "Feudal period" Japanese philosophy?

Currently reading the Hagakure by Yamamoto Tsunetomo, right off the back of Nitobe's Bushido

Because of the way I learn, and the fact that currently I'm more interested in being able to read Japanese than speak it fluently, I'm not a fan of youtube videos and audio learning. I prefer a text based approach and actually speaking to a Japanese speaker as opposed to listening to podcasts/youtube videos. My brain just switches off and phases out if the person isn't actually there (skype type things are ok, because the person is still responding and actually "there"). I really wish I could use the audio options for learning, because there are so many great Japanese resources out there that I can't study with I also like flashcards but I'm actually making them out of cardboard. Again, my brain doesn't do well if it isn't actively involved in the whole process. And I like repetitively writing the same hiragana until it looks acceptable over and over again anyway

@EternalJourno, @Dagger, @Bookish Badger and @Kiki Dee: Thank you so much. Seriously. I'm generally not overly emotional (I am a stoic, dignified samurai after all ) but every one of your replies, as different as each of them were left a warm feeling in my chest. So thank you, and everyone else who's posted, for your ongoing support. After the week I've had, I'm not going to try and score or track it. I'm just saying that this week was a defeat. But I have not been beaten. I took the past couple of days pretty lightly, just spending time doing things I enjoy and relaxing with the family. We went to the museum again and visited the dinosaur exhibit again. I did some reading about gardening. I've joined an online roleplaying community who RP Legend of the Five Rings. Did a lot of work in the yard. My parents visited tonight and I cooked a Japanese dinner. So now that I've had some time to reenergise, I am feeling a lot better about everything now. So in the words of Bookish Badger, "Stand Back - I'm going to samurai the shit out of this. So good to see you back Kiki Dee! You're right, I do miss those highs. And I've noticed that I've had a few moments between the lows where things feel better than they have in a long time. And I seem to be thinking quicker and not so much like my head's full of wool. And I've got a psychologist who is amazing and awesome. I've already used up my Medicare funded visits, but she said not to bother getting a new one. She apparently likes me enough to actually give me sessions without getting paid for it Thanks again guys. I'm not 100% yet but I'm ready to finish out this challenge and get ready for my next!

Hi Eirlys. How's things going?

YAY! My favourite Ranger is back Seriously, I was getting a little worried. There's a lot of good looking stuff there. Heaps of good work on diet and exercise. I know how hard but at the same time how rewarding in the long term visits to your psychologist (or as I routinely call mine, the head doctor/headologist or witch doctor. She's awesome) are. Keep up the awesome work. And seriously, so good to see you back on the forums