Severine

Good luck on the house!

You're not boring! I like the updates. CRUSH!

Not bad - it's Canadian Thanksgiving weekend, so we had a big special dinner tonight, and I am stuffed and exhausted. It was fun though, and delicious, and it was really nice to spend some time with my people. My bad knee is being a jerk (it almost went out on our after-dinner walk last night) and my GI system has been kind of unhappy all weekend. I'm not sure what that's about, so I feel rather decrepit with all these random, inexplicable health annoyances, but I'll live. The wrist is slowly but surely recovering, and I am trying my very best to baby it and not rush the recovery. I can't count the number of times I've rehabbed it to 90% and then overdone it and reinjured it. I need to keep babying it for a good week or so after it feels okay, which is incredibly counterintuitive and hard for me, but I've learned the hard way it's absolutely necessary. The housework point is interesting. I very consistently do housework, in fact more consistently than almost anyone I know. But it has nothing to do with habit and everything to do with the fact that having a not-clean-and-tidy house makes me unhappy and cleaning is a bit of a stress relief coping mechanism for me. So, at least in the moment, I do housework because I want/choose to, even though in a global sense I don't enjoy doing housework or particularly want to do it. And, like you, I do see applications for the break-it-down-and-do-a-little-everyday approach. But very situational. And, like you, I enjoy doing deep dives into something I want to learn. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it's really a matter of having a toolbox of different approaches and using the right one for the right thing.

Good luck!

That reminds me of this story I heard about Torpenhow Hill in the UK: When the Saxons arrived and asked the Welsh the name of that hill the Welsh said “pen” which means “hill” in Welsh. So the Saxons used their word for hill, “tor”, and called it Torpen (hill hill). Then the Norse arrived and the same process added their word for the hill “haugr”. So now it was Torpen Haugr (hill hill hill). Later the English called it Torpenhow Hill (hill hill hill hill).

Or awesome paintings OF jacked women doing deadlifts? 🤔 I had a similar experience - she definitely has a slightly different perspective than me. And for me, working on the same thing for 10+ hours straight is mostly a sign that I am hyperfocused to the point of neglecting my self-care or buried deep in something because I have left it until the last minute and have no choice. Neither of which are things I want to encourage myself to rely on. But I did like some of the ways that she framed certain things, especially normalizing and legitimizing sporadic effort and highlighting that taking a break from something doesn't mean failure or giving up. And I like the idea that dabbling in something (reading posts about it online, watching YouTube videos, collecting resources, etc.) can be a useful and valid priming and preliminary stage before embarking on something.

Posting this video for people who might be interested, because it relates to a conversation last challenge that a bunch of us had, I think on @Countess D'If's thread. People I remember being involved were @RES, @Harriet, @Mad Hatter and @spezzy Was definitely thought-provoking for me. Hopefully someone else enjoys it too.

Is it possible you're suffering a comedown after the adrenaline of the exhibit's launch? You were going going going and now suddenly there's time and space to think about the problems and issues you were too busy to think about before. Try to do something that makes you feel better and is good for you, like go for a walk in nature with the dog or bake something nice or whatever lifts you up that isn't self-destructive. Sending hugs and hope that things feel better soon.

Based on everything I know about durian, my reaction to that is

We're having the same issue with our fridge. We're in a rental house, and it came with one of those fridges with side-by-size freezer and fridge components, except it's not an extra-wide appliance, so the result is two very narrow spaces that are not practically sized at all. We have to do a lot of juggling and we've taken to shopping more frequently to avoid overloading the fridge. The one good thing is that, with space limited, we're a lot more conscious of what is actually in the fridge, which means less food waste. Glad to hear you're back at the piano!!

Sending hugs, and I hope that the money stuff can be juggled. Not sure if you can do some things on payment plans or talk to the local utility companies about assistance? Not sure if there are programs where you are to help with winter heating bills for people with certain incomes. Those programs are lifesavers over here.

How is you new plan working out? Just checking in!

Apologies for my absence, but here I am catching up. I am another person who experienced food insecurity as a kid, both due to poverty/homelessness and due to my mother's compulsive and unhealthy food behaviours that led to her imposing extreme restrictions on what we could eat. Like, we'd get a basket from the food bank and she would immediately throw half of it in the garbage for being "unhealthy," leaving us with not enough to get through the week. My brother and sister and I would wake up in the middle of the night and sneak food out of the garbage more often than I care to remember. Probably no surprise that I have issues with food. I have done a lot of work on this, both with therapists and by myself with books and such, but it's definitely still a journey in progress. I'm super interested to see how you tackle the issue in your next challenge and I will definitely be there to take notes and offer support and encouragement. One thing that has somewhat worked for me is an approach my old nutritionist called "celebrating the bounty of the healthy amount." I struggled with binge eating, which her and my therapist both thought was at least partially tied to childhood food scarcity, so we did a lot of work to reframe the ability to eat the healthy/appropriate amount of food as the true sign of security and plenty, because celebrating eating a just-enough portion was a way of recognizing that food scarcity was a thing of the past and I no longer had to hurt myself by overeating in order to hedge against uncertainty, because I was in fact certain of having food tomorrow. It's kind of hard to explain, and it didn't completely solve my issues, but it was a useful framing device. Not sure if any of this will be useful or interesting to you, but hopefully it at least gives you the reassurance that you're 100% not alone in facing this.

Just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. The loss of a mentor is a tough thing to deal with. I hope your recent work on mental fortitude and spirituality are giving you a good grounding as you work through it.

Just checking in. How are you doing? Have you been eaten by tadpoles?

Just checking in. How are things going?

You have all my sympathy re: your daughter's expectations. My sister is like that - her needs and problems are always more real and important to her than anyone else's, so she feels genuinely slighted when people don't drop everything in their lives to help her, because of course whatever she's going through is more important. I imagine it's very frustrating as a mother especially, since you do want to help her and see her succeed and all that. FWIW, I think Tank is right that you have to set those boundaries. Over the years my sister has learned that I will not drop everything to rescue her (from her often self-created problems), and while I am sure she grumbles to anyone who will listen about me being unsupportive or whatever, she doesn't ask anymore, so it's a win in my books. I hope the babies recover quickly and that the yellow jackets are dealt with smoothly. I also hope you're finding time amidst all this for your workouts and some relaxation.

Wow, a lot going on. I am happy you're getting the interview and I will cross my fingers it leads to an offer. I agree that this looming meeting doesn't sound great, but hopefully you can move on from this dysfunctional manager, so it won't matter in the long run. Is there any way to leverage the presence of the more senior manager at the meeting? You could maybe use it as a venue for bringing up your concerns with the way your manager is approaching things? No idea if that'd fly in your work culture, but I thought I'd ask.

I feel this so hard. In my bones, you might say. Let us all band together as stalwart allies against the encroaching decay.

I love reading your updates. China fascinates me, but I've never been there, so everything I know comes from reading books and news, and from people I know who are from there, such as friends and colleagues and former students. But the perspective of someone who grew up there and then left is definitely different than your perspective as someone who grew up elsewhere and then moved there. Your food dalliances, while perhaps costly as far as goal progression, sounded delicious.

Glad you're recovered. The loss of momentum thing is always so hard. For me, part of it is the all-or-nothing mentality - it's harder to motivate myself to stick to goals once I've "ruined" them or let myself down. Not sure if this is a factor for you. Congrats on the weight loss though. That is huge!! Clearly you're doing something right.

Catching up after an absence and I missed so much! I am sorry I missed your birthday, but a belated happy birthday from me. I am absolutely delighted (maxi-chuffed, as my friend would say) that your show's launch was successful and that the curator and other stakeholders are so happy with it. From the photos, it looked fantastic and I wish I could swing by and see it. Damned inconvenient boor of an ocean. I know what you mean about disliking praise/compliments and finding it awkward. I also understand finding it hard to be proud of yourself. But hopefully you know, objectively, that you've done an impressive thing and worked hard for the praise you're getting, even if you don't quite know how to enjoy it yet. Personally, I think you've pulled off a nearly superhuman effort, with the amount of work and stress you pushed through to make your vision come to life for people to enjoy and be impacted by.

You've been getting out there and doing some amazing stuff this week! And so so so much love to you for helping those kids. I have more personal experience with CPS/Children's Aid that I would like to go into detail about here, and I can say that anything that helps kids in those terrible situations is 100% a worth use of time and energy and resources. I also have to tell you how enthralled I am by this seemingly amazing community of bikers you belong to. Like, you just know all these people you can go and do fun outdoor activities with, and they all seem at least baseline kind and welcoming (LGBT-friendly, etc.) and it just seems to add so much life and colour to your life. I am absolutely terrified of motorcycles (family friend lost his leg in a motorcycle accident when I was a kid and since then they just freak me out - he still rides though), but I am still envious of the community you have! I hope it makes you happy. I'm sorry you still work for morons, but I am glad things are otherwise good. Fingers crossed for the real estate stuff going smoothly.

Catching up after an absence. I have missed a lot! Thank you for this delightful mental image! I have seen this in other contexts, notably my friend who teaches early elementary school (grade 2/3) and the condescension she gets from colleagues who teach high school and middle school. It's maddening, especially since early experiences are so formative and impactful. Yay for there being a positive payoff validating your work right after a frustrating experience! I didn't realize you were also in Canada. I am originally from Ontario and grew up in Toronto. Lived in Boston down in the States for just over a decade (American partner) and now back in Canada and living in BC. RIP! Pour one our for Jinjin! I am terrible about this too, but when I make time to take some, I am always happy I did later on. I am glad you have some nice ones. Long live Talthiel! Sorry to hear about your uncle. I hope you're processing the news okay ❤️

I am just mad at the universe that it keeps throwing this shit at you. You've really had enough, it's insane. I hope the FODMAP helps. And FWIW it kinda sounds like your experience is the middle part of one of those stories you read about someone diagnosed with some autoimmune disorder that was misdiagnosed for years.