Dagger

2017-10-13 Daily NY, Daily Practice, 3/7 Movement every day, 4/7 Weekly Scheduled Writing, five days a week, 3/5 UB, Work on weekdays or five days a week, preferably at the co-working space but not a must, 5/5 IE, Emails (Mon, Wed, Fri), 3/3 ~*~*~*~*~*~ DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Monday, 7/7 — Last week's videos DW, Assignment, Monday, 1/1 — "Last week's assignment" UB, Family dinner, Monday, 19:00, 1/1 FS, Magic Monday FB, Mondays (some time), 1/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ PC, Coaching call, Tuesdays, 18:30, 1/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ UB, Weekly lunch, Wednesday, 12:00, 1/1 FS, Wednesday Card Readings FB, Wednesdays, 23:00, 1/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ THURSDAY ~*~*~*~*~*~ IE, Coaching call, Friday, 18:00, 0/1 — Skipped it intentionally AC, Last coaching call, Friday, 19:00, 1/1 FS, Fireheart Friday FB, Fridays (can also post during the weekend), 0/1 — Not showed up yet ~*~*~*~*~*~ SATURDAY ~*~*~*~*~*~ DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Sunday, 7/7 DW, Assignment, deadline Monday try for Sunday, 0/1 Weekly review of tasks, Sundays, 0/1 Weekly Tasks (Unscheduled, aka without a fixed deadline) Read book on Vellum, 1/1 Finish re-formating of YCWYRWaL, Oct 15, 0.8/1 Upload YCWYRWaL to BR, Oct 15, 0/1 Email curator R about YCWYRWaL being available, Oct 15, 0/1 Transcribing notes, Oct 11, 1.1875/3 notebooks PUBLISHING, Send the two finished novels for copyediting, 2/2 STUDYING, Strength workshop on Business 1 & 2 (SwB), 0.15/2 Read more of Health at Every Size, 0.5/1 Read to the end 1 magazine, 1/1 Contact little brother or parents, 1/1 Norway pic stuff (add other's from dropbox, add K's photos, upload mine), 0/3 ~*~*~*~*~*~ Self care tasks below, just do one after another, not ordered ~*~*~*~*~*~ AC, reflection, before call on Friday 1/1 AC, letters part 2, 0/4 NY, Physical Module, 0/1 NY, Physical Module ritual (complete, all three parts), 0/1 NY, More perfect woman questions, 0/1 NY, prio questions from Kate, 0/1 NY, coaching call #3 replay, 0/1 NY, what is my baseline for physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being?, 0/1 NY, next step in physical area (see Notes), think on the questions, 0/1 IE, body externalization meditation, 1/1 Tarot reading body exercise, 1/1 PC, journaling questions #1, 0/1 PC, learn about energy mapping, schedule when to start, 0/1 PC, questions about making my mind work for my body, 0/1 PC, spend time connecting with my phoenix, 1/1 PC, spend time connecting with my red dragon, 1/1 PC, questions before call, 1/1 PC, journaling questions #2 (from call 2), 0/1 PC, listen to the part of the call 2 where I lost the connection, 1/1 PC, after call questions, 1/1 PC, video about coaching advice, 1/1 PC, read about Artemis, 0/1 Around 9:30-40 today. I started walking to the co-working space at that time. Didn't get as much work done as I hoped. I was waffling is the wrong word, but using poor techniques with my studying. And this was the first time I realized it. So when I study certain things, I find it hard to do a lot of it in a short time, instead something that in video time is less than an hour will take me three hours or so to go through. And it isn't really because I need breaks as I thought. What my brain actually needs is time to assimilate the information, and to do that I'd be better off either just sitting and thinking about it or at most doing a very simple game that doesn't take much thought. That isn't what I was doing, I read blog posts in between, did other things and yeah, time flew away on speedy wings. I still got a fair bit done. Enough for my satisfaction, I have however been neglecting transcribing for a few days, and I'm getting so close in certain manners! I have two notebooks left, and sitting down and applying myself would get it all done and out of my hair. Well, I'll get back to it this weekend. Yes, I plan to work this weekend, I've been enjoying work a lot and want to keep doing it. EDIT: This morning I found several things I did yesterday that I forgot to fill in above in my list. Doh! For example I was studying mostly yesterday and I forgot to fill in I watched all the videos for this week's workshop week! And that was because I put it as a Sunday task although Sunday was more the deadline than the day I meant to do it. So next week, I'll put it among my tasks instead of the day.

Thank you. I've been working on this for all of this year actually. Slowly I'm coming up towards the first year of focus on self care. It was actually here in October last year that I first connected with Kate Marolt. I didn't really start the work until January though. So you can get there. It can become more natural and easy to notice resistance and constriction when it happens. The major thing I've changed is that I've more or less stopped struggling, although I'd have to write a whole essay to really explain it. It isn't that I don't feel struggle, but that I don't try to fight against it or through it. I question it, I sit with it, I try to release it, I try to find the root cause if none of the first ones work. If I'm feeling resistance or struggle, that is an indication I need to look there and see where I am not aligned. If it is something I want to do, that I love to do, then I'll look and ask what isn't aligned anymore, what isn't working. If it is something I don't want to do, then I look and see if I can stop doing it or what I can do to ease the struggle or what the smallest I can do to finish it off is. I want to learn intuitive eating, I've known that for months, so when methods that is working for me suddenly feel like "no no no no", I knew I needed to look at that and see if something had changed (perhaps the methods weren't working for me anymore) or if something else was making that reaction. And it was something else, it was that I wasn't aligned with the program at all and as long as I tried to be with the program and also do it on my terms, my struggle with the program would taint anything else I do with that energy.

I'm grateful for life and everyone here, and everyone outside of here in my life. Thank you. And hugs!

2017-10-12 Daily NY, Daily Practice, 3/7 IE, Food log every day with every meal/snack, 3/7 — Ignoring this one right now IE, Mindful moment and check-ins with every meal/snack, 2.5/7 — Ignoring this one right now IE, Distraction free meals/snacks, 0/7 — Ignoring this one right now IE, Reflect on food log, 2/7 — Ignoring this one right now Movement every day, 3/7 Weekly Scheduled Writing, five days a week, 3/5 UB, Work on weekdays or five days a week, preferably at the co-working space but not a must, 4/5 IE, Emails (Mon, Wed, Fri), 2/3 ~*~*~*~*~*~ DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Monday, 7/7 — Last week's videos DW, Assignment, Monday, 1/1 — "Last week's assignment" UB, Family dinner, Monday, 19:00, 1/1 FS, Magic Monday FB, Mondays (some time), 1/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ PC, Coaching call, Tuesdays, 18:30, 1/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ UB, Weekly lunch, Wednesday, 12:00, 1/1 FS, Wednesday Card Readings FB, Wednesdays, 23:00, 1/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ THURSDAY ~*~*~*~*~*~ IE, Coaching call, Friday, 18:00, 0/1 AC, Last coaching call, Friday, 19:00, 0/1 FS, Fireheart Friday FB, Fridays (can also post during the weekend), 0/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ SATURDAY ~*~*~*~*~*~ UB, Tentative day for intimate dinner, 0/1 DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Sunday, 0/7 DW, Assignment, deadline Monday try for Sunday, 0/1 IE, Reflect on weekly food log stuff, Sunday, 0/1 — Ignoring this one right now Weekly review of tasks, Sundays, 0/1 Weekly Tasks (Unscheduled, aka without a fixed deadline) Read book on Vellum, 1/1 Finish re-formating of YCWYRWaL, Oct 15, 0.8/1 Upload YCWYRWaL to BR, Oct 15, 0/1 Email curator R about YCWYRWaL being available, Oct 15, 0/1 Transcribing notes, Oct 11, 1.1875/3 notebooks PUBLISHING, Send the two finished novels for copyediting, 2/2 — I only planned to do one this week, then I did both. Yay! STUDYING, Strength workshop on Business 1 & 2 (SwB), 0/2 Read more of Health at Every Size, 0.5/1 Read to the end 1 magazine, 1/1 Contact little brother or parents, 1/1 Norway pic stuff (add other's from dropbox, add K's photos, upload mine), 0/3 ~*~*~*~*~*~ Self care tasks below, just do one after another, not ordered ~*~*~*~*~*~ AC, reflection, before call on Friday 0/1 AC, letters part 2, 0/4 NY, Physical Module, 0/1 NY, Physical Module ritual (complete, all three parts), 0/1 NY, More perfect woman questions, 0/1 NY, prio questions from Kate, 0/1 NY, coaching call replay, 0/1 IE, body externalization meditation, 1/1 Tarot reading body exercise, 1/1 PC, journaling questions #1, 0/1 PC, learn about energy mapping, schedule when to start, 0/1 PC, questions about making my mind work for my body, 0/1 PC, spend time connecting with my phoenix, 1/1 PC, spend time connecting with my red dragon, 1/1 PC, questions before call, 1/1 PC, journaling questions #2 (from call 2), 0/1 PC, listen to the part of the call 2 where I lost the connection, 1/1 PC, after call questions, 1/1 PC, video about coaching advice, 1/1 Not so clear a starting time today. I think I did something at around 10:20, but didn't really start working until around noon or 1 pm. Oops... Haha, well, it is fine. For the next few days, however long I need, I will ease back on the mindfulness and such around eating. My disconnection with Amy, basically her program does not fit where I am, her group coaching grates rather than helps, so I'll step back. I'll let any energy and emotions around that release and ease. Then I hope to go back to easing into being super connected to my body around food and such. Getting back to reading about intentional/intuitive eating by myself instead of following the program. It had three practices that I'll probably come back to, but right now I feel so not like doing anything connected to that, so I'll honor those feelings and honor my body by connecting with her instead of following the program.

2017-10-11 Daily NY, Daily Practice, 2/7 IE, Food log every day with every meal/snack, 3/7 IE, Mindful moment and check-ins with every meal/snack, 2.5/7 IE, Distraction free meals/snacks, 0/7 IE, Reflect on food log, 2/7 Movement every day, 2/7 Weekly Scheduled Writing, five days a week, 2/5 UB, Work on weekdays or five days a week, preferably at the co-working space but not a must, 3/5 IE, Emails (Mon, Wed, Fri), 2/3 ~*~*~*~*~*~ DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Monday, 7/7 — Last week's videos DW, Assignment, Monday, 1/1 — "Last week's assignment" UB, Family dinner, Monday, 19:00, 1/1 FS, Magic Monday FB, Mondays (some time), 1/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ PC, Coaching call, Tuesdays, 18:30, 1/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ UB, Weekly lunch, Wednesday, 12:00, 1/1 FS, Wednesday Card Readings FB, Wednesdays, 23:00, 1/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ THURSDAY ~*~*~*~*~*~ IE, Coaching call, Friday, 18:00, 0/1 AC, Last coaching call, Friday, 19:00, 0/1 FS, Fireheart Friday FB, Fridays (can also post during the weekend), 0/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ SATURDAY ~*~*~*~*~*~ UB, Tentative day for intimate dinner, 0/1 DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Sunday, 0/X DW, Assignment, deadline Monday try for Sunday, 0/1 IE, Reflect on weekly food log stuff, Sunday, 0/1 Weekly review of tasks, Sundays, 0/1 Weekly Tasks (Unscheduled, aka without a fixed deadline) Read book on Vellum, 1/1 Finish re-formating of YCWYRWaL, Oct 15, 0/1 Upload YCWYRWaL to BR, Oct 15, 0/1 Email curator R about YCWYRWaL being available, Oct 15, 0/1 Transcribing notes, Oct 11, 1.1875/3 notebooks PUBLISHING, Send the two finished novels for copyediting, 1/2 Read more of Health at Every Size, 0.5/1 Read to the end 1 magazine, 1/1 Contact little brother or parents, 1/1 Norway pic stuff (add other's from dropbox, add K's photos, upload mine), 0/3 ~*~*~*~*~*~ Self care tasks below, just do one after another, not ordered ~*~*~*~*~*~ AC, reflection, before call on Friday 0/1 AC, letters part 2, 0/4 NY, Physical Module, 0/1 NY, Physical Module ritual (complete, all three parts), 0/1 NY, More perfect woman questions, 0/1 NY, prio questions from Kate, 0/1 NY, coaching call replay, 0/1 IE, body externalization meditation, 1/1 Tarot reading body exercise, 1/1 PC, journaling questions #1, 0/1 PC, learn about energy mapping, schedule when to start, 0/1 PC, questions about making my mind work for my body, 0/1 PC, spend time connecting with my phoenix, 1/1 PC, spend time connecting with my red dragon, 1/1 PC, questions before call, 1/1 PC, journaling questions #2 (from call 2), 0/1 PC, listen to the part of the call 2 where I lost the connection, 1/1 PC, after call questions, 0/1 PC, video about coaching advice, 0/1 Started work at 9:20! Getting close! I took a walk along the beach for the first time since getting to Barcelona. Obviously if I live in a town with a beach I can walk, I should stay closer than 40-60 minute walk away. Today was a day of a lot of self care and a lot of meditations that I made up or imagined. I also did the Unsettled Barcelona workshop about creativity so I spent about two hours sketching and drawing, because it was more of an art workshop than creativity, but anyway. Today I felt somewhat in defiance since I've more or less decided to drop IE, eating today was not bad. I don't put judgement on it, but it was interesting. I came back from the workshop and part of me was like: I feel like eating. Another part of me was like, am I hungry? Nope, and who cares? It wasn't in a rebellious way either. More a: it feels good to eat now, so I will eat. Also connected a lot with my body this morning, so in certain ways it felt like the best meal I've had in a while. I didn't anxiously wait to feel hungry, or feel a need to feel a certain way or be a certain way to eat. I just prepared food because I felt like having a meal and I ate it. Neither good, neither bad, just different. I'm still waiting for the Wednesday tarot card reading to show up. I'll come back and edit I did it if it shows up and I did it. Strike through it if it never came and leave it alone if I manage to go to bed before it happens and miss it. Haha. EDIT: Card reading FB post showed up. I made my choice of card.

Sounds like it is going well for you, @J3NN! And that meet and greet and opening sounds like a fun time.

2017-10-10 Daily NY, Daily Practice, 1/7 IE, Food log every day with every meal/snack, 2/7 IE, Mindful moment and check-ins with every meal/snack, 2/7 IE, Distraction free meals/snacks, 0/7 IE, Reflect on food log, 2/7 Movement every day, 1/7 Weekly Scheduled Writing, five days a week, 2/5 — Brainstorming releasing more of the block UB, Work on weekdays or five days a week, preferably at the co-working space but not a must, 2/5 IE, Emails (Mon, Wed, Fri), 1/3 UB, Workshop, 0/0+ — No workshops for me this week ~*~*~*~*~*~ DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Monday, 7/7 — Last week's videos DW, Assignment, Monday, 1/1 — "Last week's assignment" UB, Family dinner, Monday, 19:00, 1/1 FS, Magic Monday FB, Mondays (some time), 1/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ PC, Coaching call, Tuesdays, 18:30, 1/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ UB, Weekly lunch, Wednesday, 12:00, 0/1 FS, Wednesday Card Readings FB, Wednesdays, 23:00, 0/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ THURSDAY ~*~*~*~*~*~ IE, Coaching call, Friday, 18:00, 0/1 AC, Last coaching call, Friday, 19:00, 0/1 FS, Fireheart Friday FB, Fridays (can also post during the weekend), 0/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ SATURDAY ~*~*~*~*~*~ UB, Tentative day for intimate dinner, 0/1 DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Sunday, 0/X DW, Assignment, deadline Monday try for Sunday, 0/1 IE, Reflect on weekly food log stuff, Sunday, 0/1 Weekly review of tasks, Sundays, 0/1 Weekly Tasks (Unscheduled, aka without a fixed deadline) Read book on Vellum, 1/1 Finish re-formating of YCWYRWaL, Oct 15, 0/1 Upload YCWYRWaL to BR, Oct 15, 0/1 Email curator R about YCWYRWaL being available, Oct 15, 0/1 Transcribing notes, Oct 11, 1.125/3 notebooks Email Lyn about 1st copy editing novel project, 1/1 Read more of Health at Every Size, 0.5/1 Read to the end 1 magazine, 1/1 Contact little brother or parents, 1/1 — Called my dad Norway pic stuff (add other's from dropbox, add K's photos, upload mine), 0/3 ~*~*~*~*~*~ Self care tasks below, just do one after another, not ordered ~*~*~*~*~*~ AC, reflection, before call on Friday 0/1 AC, letters part 2, 0/4 NY, Physical Module, 0/1 NY, Physical Module ritual (complete, all three parts), 0/1 NY, More perfect woman questions, 0/1 NY, prio questions from Kate, 0/1 NY, coaching call replay, 0/1 IE, body externalization meditation, 1/1 — Only did part of it Tarot reading body exercise, 0/1 PC, journaling questions #1, 0/1 PC, learn about energy mapping, schedule when to start, 0/1 PC, questions about making my mind work for my body, 0/1 PC, spend time connecting with my phoenix, 0/1 PC, spend time connecting with my red dragon, 0/1 PC, questions before call, 1/1 PC, journaling questions #2 (from call 2), 0/1 PC, listen to the part of the call 2 where I lost the connection, 0/1 Started work at ca 9:45. Inching my way there. I'm really enjoying my work days and finding them interesting at the same time. I'll do transcribing and then go read in a magazine or play a game and then go back to work. Since my work is ultimately about stories, any immersion in stories is in some ways also part of my work. In any case I am enjoying myself and getting enough done according to myself. However I am more and more realizing that IE is not for me. It seems Amy's program is for someone who has a lot more problems than I. I wanted to gently ease into listening to my body more, but this program feels like more of an attack plan than easing into a new way of being. Also some of the messages she says and writes implies I have problems I don't by her use of "all of us in this group". And that feels... icky to be honest. So there is some judgement there, but there is also the feeling that I don't want people to say things about me that isn't true. Basically my integrity and my right to step in when I feel it isn't right. I'm not ready to pull the plug or completely quit. I'll see at this next call how I feel and if I still feel the same with the live call as I did last week, I'll talk to myself what I want to do and then to Amy when I know what I want to say and express.

2017-10-09 Daily NY, Daily Practice, 0/7 IE, Food log every day with every meal/snack, 1/7 IE, Mindful moment and check-ins with every meal/snack, 1/7 IE, Distraction free meals/snacks, 0/7 IE, Reflect on food log, 1/7 Movement every day, 0/7 Weekly Scheduled Writing, five days a week, 1/5 — I looked at my writing and had epiphany. I can make this strictly writing when I'm back in the swing of regular-dom UB, Work on weekdays or five days a week, preferably at the co-working space but not a must, 1/5 IE, Emails (Mon, Wed, Fri), 1/3 UB, Workshop, 0/0+ — Might or might not have one to go to this week ~*~*~*~*~*~ DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Monday, 7/7 — Last week's videos DW, Assignment, Monday, 1/1 — "Last week's assignment" UB, Family dinner, Monday, 19:00, 1/1 FS, Magic Monday FB, Mondays (some time), 0/1 — Haven't seen it yet ~*~*~*~*~*~ PC, Coaching call, Tuesdays, 18:30, 0/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ UB, Weekly lunch, Wednesday, 12:00, 0/1 UB, Walking tour, 17:00-19:30, 0/1 — Apparently same one as last week is happening, so no walking tour this week FS, Wednesday Card Readings FB, Wednesdays, 23:00, 0/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ THURSDAY ~*~*~*~*~*~ IE, Coaching call, Friday, 18:00, 0/1 AC, Last coaching call, Friday, 19:00, 0/1 FS, Fireheart Friday FB, Fridays (can also post during the weekend), 0/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ SATURDAY ~*~*~*~*~*~ UB, Tentative day for intimate dinner, 0/1 DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Sunday, 0/X DW, Assignment, deadline Monday try for Sunday, 0/1 IE, Reflect on weekly food log stuff, Sunday, 0/1 Weekly review of tasks, Sundays, 0/1 Weekly Tasks (Unscheduled, aka without a fixed deadline) Read book on Vellum, 1/1 Finish re-formating of YCWYRWaL, Oct 15, 0/1 Upload YCWYRWaL to BR, Oct 15, 0/1 Email curator R about YCWYRWaL being available, Oct 15, 0/1 Transcribing notes, Oct 11, 1/3 notebooks Email Lyn about 1st copy editing novel project, 0/1 Read more of Health at Every Size, 0.5/1 Read to the end 1 magazine, 0/1 Contact little brother or parents, 0/1 Norway pic stuff (add other's from dropbox, add K's photos, upload mine), 0/3 ~*~*~*~*~*~ Self care tasks below, just do one after another, not ordered ~*~*~*~*~*~ AC, reflection, before call on Friday 0/1 AC, letters part 2, 0/4 NY, Physical Module, 0/1 NY, Physical Module ritual (complete, all three parts), 0/1 NY, More perfect woman questions, 0/1 NY, prio questions from Kate, 0/1 NY, coaching call replay, 0/1 IE, body externalization meditation, 0/1 Tarot reading body exercise, 0/1 PC, journaling questions #1, 0/1 PC, learn about energy mapping, schedule when to start, 0/1 PC, questions about making my mind work for my body, 0/1 PC, spend time connecting with my phoenix, 0/1 PC, spend time connecting with my red dragon, 0/1 PC, journaling questions #2 (from call 2), 0/1 Suddenly so tired. I spent longer at the dinner than I meant to. Didn't leave until 11 pm. I meant to at latest stay until 10 pm. That is what happens when you're having a good conversation. Did decent amount of transcribing/studying today, so pretty pleased. EDIT: I started work at 10 am. I also finished the book about Vellum before going to sleep, so I get to add that. Yay! Work will begin now for Oct 10, 9:45. Closer!

So happy to hear this. ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

So concise for something I needed so much space for. This exactly. This is why I put the words fault and justify in quotation marks above because while people will tell you you have done X faults or you need to justify doing Y, it isn't true. Sure, don't throw in detrimental stereotypes just because it is easy or convenient, but also don't feel like you need to not have them. It is your story.

I'm going to be a bit blunt. If your stuff is read, you will offend someone. Someone will say you depict this horrible thing and never tells anyone how to fix it or get help. They'll say you make a mockery of Y and say demeaning X. They'll say your fiction promotes everything from violence to abuse or whatever. The main thing is that you can never get away from it, and the more popular you get the more readers you will have who will find "faults" with your fiction. Take J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series and her as a human as she shows herself in interviews, social media, etc. She does not condone abuse. But she's not writing a book about abuse, not really. I'll only take one example, the Dursleys. They are far, far, far too common in our society. We call them abusive, and they obviously are. I don't know much about the situation in the UK about taking children away from their parents/guardians, but I can't imagine that it would be easy if they can present like it isn't as bad as it is. There are far too many stories of children in these situation not getting help even if they've asked for it. So if Rowling doesn't condone abuse, why did she write about it this way? Part of the answer is probably this: Harry Potter is a wish fulfillment / power fantasy. A place to escape for someone in a bad situation. We've all had bad teachers that still taught when we left that school and who'd taught there for ages (This would be more about Snape and his abuse). It is the same for real children; they are in these situations and only as adults do they get out of them. As Wobbegong said, these books are written for children, perhaps even in some ways especially for children in bad situations who can't get out of them. Because the truth is that our world, however much we as adults wants to rage against it, far too often looks like it does for Harry. It doesn't make you irresponsible. I as an author (I have 8 short stories published and soon two short novels), I want to be inclusive. I'll be writing about all kinds of sexualities. I'll be writing about all kinds of humans. And I will get it wrong at times. I'm human. I'll accidentally write about a very negative stereotype without commenting on it or twisting it or doing anything new with it that might "justify" me using it. I might write about a lesbian couple where one is butch and one is very girly (as we define this right now, so into clothes, make up, dresses, etc.) and I'll manage to write them like human beings and everything, and I'll get criticism for writing about the stereotypical/trope version of lesbians, as if all lesbian relationships are about girly lesbians wanting a manly lesbian. And while that wasn't my intent at all and I know that lesbians are as diverse as all humans are and it isn't about wanting a man who is a woman, or whatever. But I'd still get shit for trying to write inclusive from some readers, because I wasn't inclusive enough according to their standards or what they want to see in their fiction. Maybe they just want to see a portrayal of themselves or someone very like them and I got close, but not close enough. What I'm trying to say is that you can't try to write everything right and have all the nuances of everything you mention. You can't say everything about everything. And any time you do, you'll get backlash from that too. Hagrid cares that Harry is abused, but also perpetuates abuse when showing his anger over Harry's treatment. So on one hand we have an adult actually showing Harry that everyone doesn't just agree with this, but he also does it in a way that isn't right according to our moral/ethic standards. Basically, I'm not disagreeing with anyone above, just trying to show a few more sides of it. And the end point is that if you write something people care about, you'll have people who love it and people who hate it. People who looks past all its flaws (and all writing, no matter how edited, has flaws) and people who examines the flaws in minute detail. Some will even find flaws only a very small sub-set agrees are flaws. Some will praise how well you handled X and another group will say you handled X poorly. One last thing: Fiction imitates real life. That means it is just as imperfect, flawed, tragic, abusive, corrosive, and damaging. But it is also just as beautiful, lively, just right, fantastic, wonderful, and healing. It can also be more of a fantasy or less of a fantasy by choice of the author. (And I'm not talking about the genre. Contemporary fiction can be more realistic or less so. Just remember that life is stranger than fiction, because in fiction you often have to justify things while real life never have to.)

Sounds like you have a plan and you're getting/finding good advice.

Week #2 (#41), Oct 9 - Oct 15 There is a long list of events and other things this week. Plus so much work I want to do. Not sure how it'll all happen and most likely everything won't happen, but then I don't beat myself up about those things anymore. Daily NY, Daily Practice, 0/7 IE, Food log every day with every meal/snack, 0/7 IE, Mindful moment and check-ins with every meal/snack, 0/7 IE, Distraction free meals/snacks, 0/7 IE, Reflect on food log, 0/7 Movement every day, 0/7 Weekly Scheduled Writing, five days a week, 0/5 UB, Work on weekdays or five days a week, preferably at the co-working space but not a must, 0/5 IE, Emails (Mon, Wed, Fri), 0/3 UB, Workshop, 0/0+ — Might or might not have one to go to this week ~*~*~*~*~*~ DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Monday, 0/7 — Last week's videos DW, Assignment, Monday, 0/1 — "Last week's assignment" UB, Family dinner, Monday, 19:00, 0/1 FS, Magic Monday FB, Mondays (some time), 0/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ PC, Coaching call, Tuesdays, 18:30, 0/1 UB, Tentative day for intimate dinner, 20:30, 0/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ UB, Weekly lunch, Wednesday, 12:00, 0/1 UB, Walking tour, 17:00-19:30, 0/1 FS, Wednesday Card Readings FB, Wednesdays, 23:00, 0/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ THURSDAY ~*~*~*~*~*~ IE, Coaching call, Friday, 18:00, 0/1 AC, Last coaching call, Friday, 19:00, 0/1 FS, Fireheart Friday FB, Fridays (can also post during the weekend), 0/1 ~*~*~*~*~*~ SATURDAY ~*~*~*~*~*~ UB, Tentative day for intimate dinner, 0/1 DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Sunday, 0/X DW, Assignment, deadline Monday try for Sunday, 0/1 IE, Reflect on weekly food log stuff, Sunday, 0/1 Weekly review of tasks, Sundays, 0/1 Weekly Tasks (Unscheduled, aka without a fixed deadline) Do tutorial project on Vellum, Oct 8, 0.1/1 Finish re-formating of YCWYRWaL, Oct 15, 0/1 Upload YCWYRWaL to BR, Oct 15, 0/1 Email curator R about YCWYRWaL being available, Oct 15, 0/1 Transcribing notes, Oct 11, 0.7/3 notebooks Email Lyn about 1st copy editing novel project, 0/1 Read more of Health at Every Size, 0.5/1 Read to the end 1 magazine, 0/1 Contact little brother or parents, 0/1 Norway pic stuff (add other's from dropbox, add K's photos, upload mine), 0/3 ~*~*~*~*~*~ Self care tasks below, just do one after another, not ordered ~*~*~*~*~*~ AC, reflection, before call on Friday 0/1 NY, Physical Module, 0/1 NY, Physical Module ritual (complete, all three parts), 0/1 NY, More perfect woman questions, 0/1 IE, healing mantra, 0/1 IE, body externalization meditation, 0/1 NY, prio questions from Kate, 0/1 NY, coaching call replay, 0/1 Tarot reading body exercise, 0/1 PC, journaling questions, 0/1 PC, learn about energy mapping, schedule when to start, 0/1 PC, questions about making my mind work for my body, 0/1 PC, spend a day/some time connecting with my phoenix, 0/1 Ooooh, I have two days with no specific plans! During the weekend, I hope to either go visit a park of some kind or do some other exploration. Probably on Saturday.

2017-10-06 and Week 1 (#40) Review of Last Quarter Goals Daily NY, Daily Practice, 5/7 IE, Food log every day with every meal/snack, 4/7 IE, Mindful moment and check-ins with every meal/snack, 3/7 IE, Distraction free meals/snacks, min 3/14 IE, Reflect on food log, 5/7 Movement every day, 7/7 Weekly Scheduled UB, Welcome dinner, Monday, 17:00, 1/1 FS, Magic Monday FB, Mondays, 1/1 PC, coaching call, Tuesdays, 18:30-20:00, 1/1 UB, weekly lunch, Wednesday, 12:00-15:00 (co-working space) 1/1 FS, Wednesday Card Readings FB, Wednesdays 23:00, 1/1 UB, dinner "party" (three people), Thursday, 08:30, 1/1 UB, Walking tour, Friday, 11:00-14:00, 1/1 IE coaching call, Friday, 18:00, 1/1 FS, Fireheart Friday FB, Fridays (can also post during the weekend), 0/1 — There was none this week NY, coaching call, Saturday, 19:00-20:00, 0/1 — Forgot and wouldn't have gone if I remembered, I'll add a task to watch the replay UB, Maxi adventure to the country side, Saturday (8:00) to Sunday (ca 16:00-17:00), 1/1 Weekly review of tasks, Sundays, 1/1 — Very soon (next post) IE, Reflect on weekly food log stuff, Sundays, 1/1 IE, emails (Mon, Wed, Fri), 3/3 Writing, five days a week, 2/5 UB, do work on weekdays or five days a week, preferably at the co-working space but not a must, 4/5 Weekly Tasks Update travel budget spreadsheet, towards end of month, Oct 4, 1/1 IE, watch replay of 2nd coaching call, Oct 5, 1/1 DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Friday 0/7 DW, Assignment, deadline Mon(?), Friday, 0/1 PUBLISHING, finish copyediting the story I started last week, Oct 6, 1/1 AC, rewatch a part of the latest AC call and explore the point that stood out to me, Oct 6, 1/1 Do tutorial project on Vellum, Oct 8, 0.1/1 IE, healing mantra, Oct 9, 0/1 Transcribing notes, Oct 11, 0.7/3 notebooks NOMAD, Book a place (through AirBnB) for USA next spring, 1/1 NY, Yoga video, 0/1 So I didn't do much additional things on Sunday except for normal Sunday tasks and a bit of daily things. Mostly I woke up, took a nice walk around the old monastery Unsettled took us to for the weekend. Then it was breakfast, cleaning up and off in the bus we went. We visited Girona for less than two hours and then back to Barcelona where I've spent my time catching up on things and right after this I'll do the plan for week 2 (#41 of the year). Onwards to how I felt the week went: I didn't get nearly as much work done as I'd hoped. I hadn't quite accounted for all the self care tasks I'd have, but beyond that the socializing have eaten up a lot of time and energy. Unless I get work done before them, there is no time for them after. From this I've thought of some things I want to change for next week. I'm setting a start time for my work: 9:00 (am). I also want to get back into doing IE deeply. If I want to connect more deeply with my body and really eat from hunger, I need to do the work. I can do it while having a lot of socializing, so my intention will be to follow my hunger more and be more mindful when I eat. I also told Amy (the person behind the course) that I'd commit to doing one distraction free meal a day and I can do that and I'll learn even more from that. Another thing I really want to do is actually dive into the publishing since that was a main goal for me while being here and I'll be holding a workshop on beginning knowledge on publishing week 3 (42)! It would be awesome if I'll closer with stuff by then! Maybe even do something fun like clicking publish on a piece during the workshop... Hmm... haha, that would mean some definite work! Anyway, so my focus will be on work starting at 9 am and following my hunger and being mindful and distraction free while eating. In my work I want to finish off my transcribing and towards the end of the week I want to be back in publishing in some way. But just wait until you see the weekly plan, lol lol lol. So basically my above points for next week are the places I felt I did a weaker job than I could have this week. But at the same time, there was a lot of adjusting and such things going on. And thankfully next week there isn't a weekend adventure that'll take two of the days of my week.

I get that. Like, I don't know how much of a business you want to make it, but you could potentially use stock photo sites as loss leaders or discovery tools, aka so people who want nature photos can discover you through them and then you can make other deals with those people if they reach out. Just a very loose thought I probably shouldn't even post. I don't know enough about these things. Patreon is a very cool site. I am a patron of a few people. One thing about it though is that it tends to work better / grow into something useful in a timely manner if you already have an audience. But I'd go looking for advice how to make money with photographs if that is what you are interested in. There is bound to be a lot of free advice via blogs, podcasts and other such things.

2017-10-06 - 07 Daily NY, Daily Practice, 5/7 IE, Food log every day with every meal/snack, 4/7 IE, Mindful moment and check-ins with every meal/snack, 3/7 IE, Distraction free meals/snacks, min 3/14 IE, Reflect on food log, 4/7 Movement every day, 6/7 Weekly Scheduled UB, Welcome dinner, Monday, 17:00, 1/1 FS, Magic Monday FB, Mondays, 1/1 PC, coaching call, Tuesdays, 18:30-20:00, 1/1 UB, weekly lunch, Wednesday, 12:00-15:00 (co-working space) 1/1 FS, Wednesday Card Readings FB, Wednesdays 23:00, 1/1 UB, dinner "party" (three people), Thursday, 08:30, 1/1 UB, Walking tour, Friday, 11:00-14:00, 1/1 IE coaching call, Friday, 18:00, 1/1 FS, Fireheart Friday FB, Fridays (can also post during the weekend), 0/1 — There was none this week NY, coaching call, Saturday, 19:00-20:00, 0/1 — Forgot and wouldn't have gone if I remembered, I'll add a task to watch the replay UB, Maxi adventure to the country side, Saturday (8:00) to Sunday (ca 16:00-17:00), 1/1 Weekly review of tasks, Sundays, 0/1 IE, Reflect on weekly food log stuff, Sundays, 0/1 IE, emails (Mon, Wed, Fri), 3/3 Writing, five days a week, 2/5 UB, do work on weekdays or five days a week, preferably at the co-working space but not a must, 4/5 Weekly Tasks Update travel budget spreadsheet, towards end of month, Oct 4, 1/1 IE, watch replay of 2nd coaching call, Oct 5, 1/1 DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Friday 0/7 DW, Assignment, deadline Mon(?), Friday, 0/1 PUBLISHING, finish copyediting the story I started last week, Oct 6, 1/1 AC, rewatch a part of the latest AC call and explore the point that stood out to me, Oct 6, 1/1 Do tutorial project on Vellum, Oct 8, 0.1/1 IE, healing mantra, Oct 9, 0/1 Transcribing notes, Oct 11, 0.7/3 notebooks NOMAD, Book a place (through AirBnB) for USA next spring, 1/1 NY, Yoga video, 0/1 I didn't have a chance to update on Friday. I went to bed early. Then early on Saturday I disappeared into the country side with Unsettled. I only came home less than 2 hours ago. I'll do the update for Sunday later (I hope to check off a couple of things!). I'll also do the review/plan for next week!

I find this story both funny and endearing. I'm glad you have students that seem to really care about you.

Have you thought about putting up your photography on stock photo sites? I don't know how good those are photographers, but they are a great thing for indie publishers to make book covers. Although nature scenes aren't used much for book covers. There are also blogs and other places that use stock photos!

Welcome! I'm currently somewhat list heavy, but my method tends to shift regularly. Just a FYI.

2017-10-05 Daily NY, Daily Practice, 4/7 IE, Food log every day with every meal/snack, 4/7 IE, Mindful moment and check-ins with every meal/snack, 3/7 IE, Distraction free meals/snacks, min 3/14 IE, Reflect on food log, 4/7 Movement every day, 4/7 Weekly Scheduled UB, Welcome dinner, Monday, 17:00, 1/1 FS, Magic Monday FB, Mondays, 1/1 PC, coaching call, Tuesdays, 18:30-20:00, 1/1 UB, weekly lunch, Wednesday, 12:00-15:00 (co-working space) 1/1 FS, Wednesday Card Readings FB, Wednesdays 23:00, 1/1 UB, dinner "party" (three people), Thursday, 08:30, 1/1 UB, Walking tour, Friday, 11:00-14:00, 0/1 IE coaching call, Friday, 18:00, 0/1 FS, Fireheart Friday FB, Fridays (can also post during the weekend), 0/1 NY, coaching call, Saturday, 19:00-20:00, 0/1 UB, Maxi adventure to the country side, Saturday (8:00) to Sunday (ca 16:00-17:00), 0/1 Weekly review of tasks, Sundays, 0/1 IE, Reflect on weekly food log stuff, Sundays, 0/1 IE, emails (Mon, Wed, Fri), 2/3 Writing, five days a week, 1/5 UB, do work on weekdays or five days a week, preferably at the co-working space but not a must, 4/5 Weekly Tasks Update travel budget spreadsheet, towards end of month, Oct 4, 1/1 IE, watch replay of 2nd coaching call, Oct 5, 1/1 DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Friday 0/7 DW, Assignment, deadline Mon(?), Friday, 0/1 PUBLISHING, finish copyediting the story I started last week, Oct 6, 1/1 AC, rewatch a part of the latest AC call and explore the point that stood out to me, Oct 6, 1/1 IE, self care list art project, Oct 6, 0.5/1 Do tutorial project on Vellum, Oct 8, 0.1/1 IE, healing mantra, Oct 9, 0/1 Transcribing notes, Oct 11, 0.7/3 notebooks NOMAD, Book a place (through AirBnB) for USA next spring, 1/1 NY, Yoga video, 0/1 Worked from home but turned out to a pretty slow day. More things coming up for me to look at in self-reflection. I had to quickly arrange one of several intimate dinners I will host here in Barcelona. (Intimate as in max 4 people, aka close connection, not romantic/sex.) One person is leaving on Tuesday and the weekend and Monday is spoken for and Friday is general party night isn't it? So didn't want it then. Well it turned out really well and I enjoyed myself.

And apparently necessary with this machine. It was like I didn't run the dryer at all. O_o

2017-10-04 Daily NY, Daily Practice, 3/7 IE, Food log every day with every meal/snack, 3/7 IE, Mindful moment and check-ins with every meal/snack, 2/7 IE, Distraction free meals/snacks, min 2.5/14 IE, Reflect on food log, 3/7 Movement every day, 3/7 Weekly Scheduled UB, Welcome dinner, Monday, 17:00, 1/1 FS, Magic Monday FB, Mondays, 1/1 PC, coaching call, Tuesdays, 18:30-20:00, 1/1 UB, weekly lunch, Wednesday, 12:00-15:00 (co-working space) 1/1 FS, Wednesday Card Readings FB, Wednesdays 23:00, 1/1 UB, Walking tour, Friday, 11:00-14:00, 0/1 IE coaching call, Friday, 18:00, 0/1 FS, Fireheart Friday FB, Fridays (can also post during the weekend), 0/1 NY, coaching call, Saturday, 19:00-20:00, 0/1 UB, Maxi adventure to the country side, Saturday (8:00) to Sunday (ca 16:00-17:00), 0/1 Weekly review of tasks, Sundays, 0/1 IE, Reflect on weekly food log stuff, Sundays, 0/1 IE, emails (Mon, Wed, Fri), 2/3 Writing, five days a week, 1/5 UB, do work on weekdays or five days a week, preferably at the co-working space but not a must, 3/5 Weekly Tasks Update travel budget spreadsheet, towards end of month, Oct 4, 1/1 IE, watch replay of 2nd coaching call, Oct 5, 1/1 DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Friday 0/7 DW, Assignment, deadline Mon(?), Friday, 0/1 PUBLISHING, finish copyediting the story I started last week, Oct 6, 1/1 AC, rewatch a part of the latest AC call and explore the point that stood out to me, Oct 6, 1/1 IE, self care list art project, Oct 6, 0/1 Do tutorial project on Vellum, Oct 8, 0/1 IE, healing mantra, Oct 9, 0/1 Transcribing notes, Oct 11, 0.4/3 notebooks NOMAD, Book a place (through AirBnB) for USA next spring, 1/1 NY, Yoga video, 0/1 The lunch and workshop wiped me out today. I let myself sleep as long as I need and woke up around 9.30 again I think... I don't quite remember. So I didn't get to the co-working space until 11:10ish. It took me 50 minutes. I guess next I'll let my map app decide my route and see if it is faster than going as close to the route a bird would take (basically zig-zagging). So I didn't get much work done, neither self care nor transcribing, writing or publishing. I was surprised to see it was only my third "work" day here. It feels like a lot longer. Not always in a good way, haha. Tomorrow, I think I might work from home just because I'll gain the ca 2 hours I spend getting to and from the co-working space. Which should allow me to get a lot done, but I'll see. I'll decide tomorrow morning. Hopefully I can get in bed before midnight today. Although washing and drying in this apartment takes 1:40 and then 2:40 (DRYING IS FUCKING LONG!), so almost a 5 hour commitment to wash and dry things... perhaps next time I'll just hang my stuff.

2017-10-03 Daily NY, Daily Practice, 2/7 IE, Food log every day with every meal/snack, 2/7 IE, Mindful moment and check-ins with every meal/snack, 1.5/7 IE, Distraction free meals/snacks, min 2/14 IE, Reflect on food log, 2/7 Movement every day, 2/7 Weekly Scheduled UB, Welcome dinner, Monday, 17:00, 1/1 FS, Magic Monday FB, Mondays, 1/1 PC, coaching call, Tuesdays, 18:30-20:00, 1/1 UB, weekly lunch, Wednesday, 12:00-15:00 (co-working space) 0/1 FS, Wednesday Card Readings FB, Wednesdays 23:00, 0/1 UB, Walking tour, Friday, 11:00-14:00, 0/1 IE coaching call, Friday, 18:00, 0/1 FS, Fireheart Friday FB, Fridays (can also post during the weekend), 0/1 NY, coaching call, Saturday, 19:00-20:00, 0/1 UB, Maxi adventure to the country side, Saturday (8:00) to Sunday (ca 16:00-17:00), 0/1 Weekly review of tasks, Sundays, 0/1 IE, Reflect on weekly food log stuff, Sundays, 0/1 IE, emails (Mon, Wed, Fri), 1/3 Writing, five days a week, 1/5 UB, do work on weekdays or five days a week, preferably at the co-working space but not a must, 2/5 Weekly Tasks Update travel budget spreadsheet, towards end of month, Oct 4, 1/1 IE, watch replay of 2nd coaching call, Oct 5, 1/1 DW, Watch videos and take notes on anything that catches my attention, Friday 0/7 DW, Assignment, deadline Mon(?), Friday, 0/1 PUBLISHING, finish copyediting the story I started last week, Oct 6, 1/1 AC, rewatch a part of the latest AC call and explore the point that stood out to me, Oct 6, 1/1 IE, some kind of plan for when I feel like binging, Oct 6, 0/1 IE, self care list art project, Oct 6, 0/1 Do tutorial project on Vellum, Oct 8, 0/1 IE, healing mantra, Oct 9, 0/1 Transcribing notes, Oct 11, 0.2/3 notebooks NOMAD, Book a place (through AirBnB) for USA next spring, 1/1 NY, Yoga video, 0/1 After the alcohol I had yesterday, I let myself sleep as long as I needed to and I had a slow day overall. I worked from home, focused on self-care habits and tasks. I had a lot of realizations around work and cyclical nature of my life (like how after alcohol I need more sleep and a slow day, how after I've had a lot of social interaction I want to focus inward afterwards, etc.). I'm getting so much support in the self care area right now, that I'd just be repeating what I've been writing in different places today if I added it here. Suffice to say that I had a great day. A slow, lazy kinda day where I still got some good work done, but even if I hadn't it was a great day.

Sounds like you have a plan of attack and yeah, I hear you on the not really owning the furniture that is in your room. I'm cheering you on from here. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible, knowing that there will probably be some drama in there, so I'll wish for as little as possible. :3 (Realist I am.)

Ooooh, that seems like a cool book. You'll have to tell us/me what it is like.