Maris Stella

Been totally MIA from NF for....wow, MONTHS...But just wanted to pop in and wish you all the best of will on your 6-wk challenge!

I'd much rather run my hands through soft hair than over acres and acres of stubble ><. Have dated guys who shaved everything, as well -- it wasn't for me.

My point was only that neither of us speak for all women. And I didn't want dudes that were reading the thread to think that all women want men a certain way. There's enough of that going around as it is. 

manscaping... no one wants to play in the amazon forest?? - baseball diamond?  definitely.  golf greens?  definitely. yeah- little trimming/maintenance make that shit happen. 

I was referring specifically to shaving/waxing, and not trimming...but I am totally ok with the amazon forest (literal and figurative), as long as it's kept clean (just the figurative). Not necessarily my preference, but I don't consider it within the realm of my influence. Different strokes for different folks.

My personal feeling is that we're mammals and mammals grow hair on their bodies, especially the male ones. I don't see hair as inherently weird and dirty. A waxed dude can still be filthy and gross, and a hairy dude can still be clean and fresh! But I'm also not freaked out by things like back hair, so, grain of salt?

Things I love about men (starting with hair since we were on that topic):

- Facial hair. Dear Jesus. It's so cool. Clean-shaven is cool, too, but I totally dig a beard.

- Chest hair is great. 

- Defined upper bodies. A man's strength is really impressive to me, and not just on a "ur hott" level. (Ok, so far the theme is "things that make men different from myself," ha)

- The deliberate gentleness that happens when a man is aware of his strength and is careful with it

- Big strong hands; callouses

- Deep voices

- Subject expertise. In my experience, boys are driven to be subject experts at a really young age, whether it's a trick with a soccer ball or kicking ass at video games, and I really love when this carries over into adulthood. I like when a man can geek out about something, and want to know everything there is to know about it. My man is obsessed with sports, for example. I don't always know what he's talking about, but I love how passionate he is about it.

- Extra props if the subject is something like scotch or cigars or shaving with a straight blade or building things or any scientific subject.

- An un self-conscious sense of humor; the ability to be as free and adventurous as a kid

- TAILORED SUITS

- The occasional hint of cologne. But not every day.

For Mr. Cyborg Ninja. If human communication were limited to just words and nothing else, you'd have a point. But we all know there's waaaay more going into it: body language, voice inflection, tone, eye contact or lack thereof, touch, you can even use time to communicate a message about yourself to people. The way you dress, carry yourself... The majority of messages you send out to the world take place before you even fix your mouth to speak.

Also, using all caps sends a message before I even interpret the sequence of letters you used.

Check.

^ This.

Also, as soon as you pick up a conversation with someone you have ever spoken to before, you're adding in memory. Verbal progress may be linear, but you're building upon the conversations you've had in the past. Like adding a line to a drawing. Or a wall to a building. This is a huge topic that I can't even begin to do justice in a forum, but when we're talking about something as broad as "human communication," we can really talk about the sum of human oral- and written- history. Our language has a huge impact on how we think, and it is the product of thousands of years of conversations.

...

But I really jumped in here to express astonishment that so many people think men should shave or wax the fun-zone.

My eyes near bugged out of my head.

Dudes, I know I'm not alone when I say that as long as your body- and facial hair is clean, it is a-okay.

Hey Vian, how are they doing? I'd love to see an update!

Wow, what a beautiful place!!

ALRIGHTLET'SPLANROUND2.

Feels better, thanks!. I worked through it and the numbness went away, so I am still not sure why it happened in the first place, but I'm glad it's gone! 

@Substix, yes, my lower back is very sensitive so I am extremely careful with it. I don't think it was that. But it definitely could have been pigeon. I should probably go to an actual class and seek the advice of a pro before I attempt pigeon again...I'm just really not sure what it is supposed to feel like. It sure feels awkward as hell, the way I have been doing it. 

That is awesome, substix. I still have a bit of a "thump" but I can get my foot up there without a problem. Just working on grace, now.

My goals are going. I've got 3 hours of yoga this week, and been working on the pushups. I have decided to adjust my diet goal because the problem with limiting eating out was that I ended up skipping a lot of meals if I hadn't prepared. We dropped that this weekend and just made a point to eat non-processed, non-cheesy, non-bready things, and stick to our banned foods list (still going strong!)

Part of the problem was I doubled a chili recipe so that we could take it to work, and ended up really messing it up in the process >< WHOOPS.

Still battling writer's block, but there is time left today.

You know, it is finally starting to resolve itself, but it's from a yoga session on Monday. I can feel my feet, but I have tingly numbness down the back of my left leg, like it's asleep but on the verge of waking up. Really weird! I get the random numbness too sometimes but this is definitely the first time I walked away with it.

I dunno...does LorenWade have a distortion pedal for his?

 

I was trying to creep LorenWade out by describing his bedroom from a picture that popped up when I clicked the side arrow when he showed me his beard.

 

I hope he is sufficiently creeped.

Derp.

<--- Ruining jokes since 1987.

I didn't really give much thought to WoW, but I have to agree. The music in Storm Peaks is just perfect IMO.

 

This made me think of another game, albeit, short lived.... Age of Conan has some great music!

ALL the music in Northrend. I love that it varies from really traditional sounding strings, to really eerie modern stuff. 

I also loved the music from the first Guild Wars, particularly in the Catacombs. But I'm a sucker for a violin. 

Oh, geez, I'd have pages upon pages of my favorite music from video games, lol. I used to have days worth of music on my iTunes before I lost the data (hard drive broke and my back-up hadn't the room on it for all the music).

 

Here's some that come to mind:

 

 

Most Zelda games (Ocarina of Time and Wind Waker especially). I actually modded my Skyrim game to play Zelda instead, lol.

Skyrim's Dovahkiin chant: How BA do I feel when a dragon shows up and that amazing piece of music comes on? I made it my ringtone as well, lol.

Final Fantasy 6-10 and Tactics have some of my favorite pieces of VG music in them.

Metal Gear Solid - The Best is Yet to Come. I used to listen to this for hours, such a beautiful piece of music.

Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow has some great soundtracks.

Mass Effect; The orchestral main theme is great.

Devil May Cry 3: That song that goes between a beautiful melody and hard rock is great.

Portal 1&2: Still Alive and Want You Gone are pretty amazing.

 

Anyway, those are just some of the ones that come to mind that I love.

I like the Elder Scrolls music in general. The Skyrim music is so atmospheric. But that is awesome that you made the chant your ringtone hahaha. Do you chant along with it, when people call? That would be a unique way to answer the phone

I decorate by painting my walls a purplish-grey, having a bed in the middle of the room, with tan sheets, and lime green blanket at the end, and a monitor on the right of my bed, and a lazy black and white cat. And pictures of spacemen. and I what may possibly be an electric ukulele. because that's how cool kids decorate.

YESSS ELECTRIC UKULELE! Do you have a distortion pedal for it!?!? 

Vian. This is the coolest, coolest thing. 

About how long does the dart frog metamorphosis normally take, from egg to frog? 

I am SO CURIOUS to see when they start turning blue!

Some of those were surprising to me (the balsamic, hershey's kisses and peanut butter, in particular).

Good God, that's a big pile of celery. 

This might sound ridiculous, but the idea that an unhealthy lifestyle is like an addiction is actually comforting to me...because my mom is a recovered alcoholic. She quit cold turkey (which was not advisable and certainly had its own laundry list of problems, but did demonstrate a lot of willpower) and has never looked back. My dad actually quit drinking as well, to be supportive. They also both gave up cigarette habits many years ago. So I know they can do it! For addicts, they have a pretty good track record!

But you're right, UberT.  The time my mom tried to get sober before this success, was when I was a pre-teen. She said she was going to get sober for me, and it only lasted two months. It wasn't until several years ago that she finally decided to do it for her.

I read something not too long ago about how being overweight and unhealthy is the kind of addiction people have who want to self-destruct without inconveniencing other people. It was an interesting idea. Unlike alcohol and drugs, unhealthy people can really convince themselves that, since their habit doesn't prevent them from working or cause them to be violent, it's their prerogative. The argument hinged on this idea that it's the least selfish of addictions, and the most closely tied to poor self-esteem.

This is making me thing of the situation really differently.

In my experience with my parents' addictions, it was about presenting them with very non-judgmental support, while at the same time not participating in their bad behavior. But this is sort of different...those chemical addictions are much more obviously slavery to a habit, whereas eating and not exercising seem more "normal." You do have to eat, after all. Unlike with the booze and smoking, they can't just remove all food from the house and never buy it again.

If obesity is, at it's root, a lack of self-love, I wonder if I shouldn't just focus all my energy on building them up. I think I could probably sneak in suggestions like cooking classes, charitable 5k's and other positive activities, but under the umbrella of fostering their sense of worth.

Thanks, Sericite! You'll get there with the transitions. It's amazing how fast it starts happening

In other news...

Damn, girls:

Hmmm, do you have access to a pool? It doesn't *not* use the lower body, but it wouldn't be weight-bearing?

When I was a competitive swimmer we also did several warm-ups where we tried to keep our lower bodies as stationary as possible, if you're trying to avoid moving it at all. There are slightly buoyant foam things made specifically for that purpose if you're just starting out, or you could hold a very small inner-tube between your knees. Hell of a cardio work-out, and would work some of your stabilizing leg muscles, which might help you out in the long run. (There's my amateur medical opinion, for you.)

Derrrrrp I have made 0 progress so far D:

This is always the hardest part of my 6-week challenges. I am the worst sort of creative person, in that I both love and powerfully despise the process. (For example, when my outlet was about 50/50 writing and visual art, I destroyed every single visual art piece I finished. Every last one.)

It's just so...ugh, personal. When I write I look at my work and am filled with misanthropy, as embodied by myself. It's always "BEHOLD the COMPLETE and UTTER ABSURDITY." *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

But anyways.

@Hearthsinger, your story is really inspiring. 

The thing of GREATEST value in your life is YOU. And if you share YOU, whatever that means, that's what people will love

.

And that made me want to hug you.

A little late to the party, but are you starting by pushing with your legs? I find when I get into wheel, my quads and my feet are doing a lot more work than my arms and hands. I'm pretty sure I engage my lower body before my upper body to get into the pose.

So I'm on this quest to be able to do a full forward fold, head-to-knees. I'm ALMOST there! 

But um, after my routine on Monday, I had numbness down the back of my left leg, and it has not dissipated. 

Has anyone else had this happen to them? Should I be deeply concerned? Is it more likely a result of doing, say, pigeon pose wrong, or is it most definitely from working really hard to fold?

It's real awkward feeling. I'm not really sure what to do.

Hi DoubleOrNothing! How is habitmix.com working for you? I'm very curious what you think of it.

Hi Margie! How's your challenge going so far? Is your adjusted writing goal working for you?

Hey m12lrv! How's it going?? Any progress on the back walk-over?

Sounds very lovely! How long is your holiday? It's been a long time since I played in the snow, your posts make me want to plan a trip.

Congrats on your headstand, that is SO COOL!

Your earlier posts definitely made you sound like you were going to DO SOMETHING no matter whether or not they were ready, which is basically death to effectively helping someone make changes.  Your later posts make it sound more like you're being receptive to their level of readiness.

I am sorry to hear that is how I came across. I didn't think the initial advice to do nothing had to do with readiness, but rather with the impossibility of accomplishing anything by talking to someone -- the "nobody does anything unless it is their idea" premise. That was where I disagreed.

I really think the soda suggestion is a bad approach to take.  Generally, taking away comes across as more combative than suggesting an addition.  I do think sending recipes to your dad who loves to cook is a great idea.  Does he have a special occasion coming up?  Maybe you can buy him some fancy-and-healthy cooking classes as a gift.

 

If additions are going well and your suggestions are still sought after, then start suggesting subtractions.  Obviously, you know your parents best out of us, but I've seen both my parents react to well-meaning suggestions that they stop something -- and it was never pretty, ESPECIALLY when they knew the suggestion was the right thing.