Tova, Warrior of the Wilds

So petered out at the end, which I knew would happen. That's fine. PT: dug even deeper to find an even-more-basic issue. Staying positive in treating the actual problem, but frustrated that I'm still working. Hopefully will build strength eventually. 5K: SI flare knocked this down, but had a lovely hike to see fall colors and racked up 12k while hauling 30 pounds of baby on my back 14h: erry day! Working towards 15h daily, currently 15h 2-3x a week. Veg: meal plan complete, veggie eating commences Happiness: touch and go, but more better days than not Bedtime: trash fire. I need to do something different. Revenge bedtime procrastination rules my brain at night.

Week 2 in review: PT: going really well, got to see my fav PT for my SI. She's lovely, and reassured me that I will be moving normally again soon. 5K: 4/7 days, SI flared very very bad and was not walking much 14h: one 17 hour day, 2 15 hour days, and the rest over 14 Veg: much much better, I've got more in the house and a new meal plan for Tiny Human that will help me as well Happiness: reading, pumpkin picking, but there was still lots of numbing - pain does that Bedtime: mixed bag, but better Week 3 thus far: PT: restarted core work, no brace on ankle just k-tape!, trying to draw on resilience that I know I have 5k: 2/3 days so far, tried new trail yesterday - Tiny Human liked the bridges but it was too close to the road for good bird sound listening for me 14h: one 17 hour day, one 14, and the other 2 I cut short Veg: getting there, I even got the chance to cook dinner without much pain Happiness: repotting plants, seeing the counselor, present moment awareness with Tiny Human, Bedtime: consistently at 11:30 right now, going to try for 11 Other things: RA test is negative Autoantibody test is positive booo possibility of autoimmune Referral to rheumatologist underway Love my counselor Tiny Human costume option 1 too small, option 2 here on Friday

Week 1 PT: appointments completed, icing and stretching at home completed 5K: 4/7 days, rested the pesky ankle the other 3 days 14h: every day, Veg: not sure, but not well Happiness: very mixed bag. numbing behavior very much preferred for several days. Bedtime: thwarted by revenge bedtime procrastination and switching antidepressants Week 2 improvements PT: above, plus restart core work 5k: more than 4 days,, try new walking loops 14h: over 14h daily, check in with needs before eating Veg: work on meal plan and daily/weekly routine so that cooking can actually happen, keep veg in the house Happiness: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whatever I think will bring true, engaged, active enjoyment Bedtime: try - it's an ongoing battle

Hi! Returning CNF 2016 camper, and I can assure you it's amazing. We're all looking to find a friend. It's an incredible experience. I went solo knowing (almost) no one, and came away a different person.

PT ✔️ Ktape replaced 5k ✔️ Beautiful walk around a local lake, 40 min pushing stroller, minimal pain from either ankle or back 14h ✔️ Skipped a desired snack, super proud of myself No veg. Need to go to grocery store still. 🙂 ✔️ Started sorting pre-baby, work clothes so I can start operation new clothes aka momlife wardrobe Bedtime is still kinda shitty.

That's like me saying a pet's disease process which could be fatal is suboptimal. PT on the daily. Ankle is improving. Should have been a PT instead of a vet at this point. Skipped out on my 5k steps for ankle rest Su/M/Tu. 14 fasting no problem. If I can get my sleep under control, may try bumping back to 15. Goal is only eating when hungry. IF helps remind me what hungry feels like. Baked delicious sourdough, and often choosing that over veg. Playing puzzle game with my dad, starting new book. Bedtime is getting better, but sleep is still disturbed. Today's plan: Took a stroller walk with tiny human this AM. Will hit 5k. PT at 1. Grocery shop today to get more veg. Still searching for awe locally. Read.

My track record here speaks for itself. But I'm back again. I can't spend too much time here recounting things like a journal because #toddlermomlife Daily check ins only. I will not even think about keeping up with others. Sorry, but again #toddlermomlife So goals: Walk 5k steps a day, ideally including 30 min morning stroller walk with sidekick PT twice a week and daily exercises and ice at home IF 14+ hours a day MOAR veggies Do something that I enjoy, that's not a fracking numbing behavior. Bedtime is roughly 10:30 Other things: Shelf or other fabrication so laptop can be at eye level while I'm on the treadmill. Once built, CR watching limited to treadmill time or PT/ice time. Will be buying tablet and stand for treadmill. Plan weekend trip to state park for fall color hike. Plan/purchase costumes for Tiny Human. Plan/purchase costumes for self. Doctor appointments - GP for physical and bloodwork, also referral for hand pain - hand pain doc - psych for med check - counselor

I just don't even know how to move forward right now. Apparently I need to relearn how to walk appropriately. I got a gait evaluation at the end of my PT session, but no concrete exercise plan. I know I will get a plan, and I will make progress eventually, but hot damn if this is not the most frustrating thing I've dealt with in a while. I read about gait retraining. That just made my mood worse. I also need to learn how to relax my muscles, as I am relapsing into fibro tendencies. F. F. F. F.

Week ahead planning: I will treat myself with some kindness. Change takes time. Small change is lasting change. Lasting change is what I want in the long run. Today Squirrel will help me finalize no equipment exercise plan and I will post it in Baby Bird's room and the living room Sunday Today I will make a template in the journal app for food diarySunday I will finish notes for word workshop #2 by tomorrow afternoonSunday I needed to email a few folks and I did that this afternoonSunday Make a list of what is on the table, and determine a number of them that I want to finish in the next two weeks Make a list of high protein and high fiber quick snacks to add to grocery list ETA on Sunday Evening: I did a good job this afternoon working through these things, all while being in a bad mood. I'm going to add a few more things to the week Take some time for myself, alone and calm, active and present in what I'm doing Make a list of random internet things I want to get done Get in to see my chiropractor Sunday Routine: completed Walk: 2.0 mph at 2% incline for 10 min x 2 times Strength: no Meditate: about to after I shut down computer

My first thought about this week is that I've been a total asshole to myself. My second thought is this isn't entirely true, but it feels that way. Aside from Monday morning, hitting goals for the week was a mix of overdoing and complete trash. Wednesday I woke up early, and only did part of the routine so as to not wake Baby Bird and Squirrel. I did get on the treadmill, but then since the weather was nice we also went on a walk outside which was GLORIOUS but I ended up hurting afterwards and doing jack shit the next day. I've also been staying up late, even though I keep telling myself to not do that. When I'm tired, I eat, as if that will give me more energy. Fun fact: it doesn't. When I don't have the time - since Baby Bird has been a handful - I don't meal plan, so I don't grocery shop, so then we run down to very little food in the house. Very little quick food, that is - when I'm managing a fussy Baby Bird, I need quick eats. Also when I'm tired, I nap and tend to forgo my walks. I KNOW exercise gives me more energy. I know this. And then I don't and the cycle continues. I'm being an asshole, I'm not taking care of myself, and that is not what returning to the grove is about. What I know I need to do: eat less high calorie foods (especially easy to grab carbs), eat foods that will fill me up and keep me feeling full (protein, fiber), drink more water, move my body more, GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP What I want to do: wander around the effing grocery store like fracking normal and pick what I think looks good instead of fricking online shopping, buy all the vegetables, meal prep and portion size everything with all the time I don't have, restrict restrict restrict, push push push, ignore soreness and pain, and suddenly be able to do the things I did before like normal 😡 ok. What I will do instead: - make sticky note lists of my routines and put in bathroom and kitchen - set out a glass of water to drink every morning - portion out cereal - alternate days of cereal and days of homemade high protein oatmeal (I will find the oatmeal is more filling/satisfying) - Bolster breakfast with fruit, yogurt, cheese - Roast sweet potatoes or butternut squash for lunches - Make a list of high protein and high fiber quick snacks to add to grocery list - Drink a glass of water before snacking - Not confuse thirst with hungry or tired with hungry (at least try not to) - Not consider tracking food, because that results in Bad Thoughts - Consider using newfound journal app to write about how I feel before I eat - Talk to Squirrel about fitting in more treadmill walks during his breaks - Set additional bedtime reminders - Rethink how I'm spending my mental energy when I'm on my phone, the computer, or watching youtube

Truth I made my own categories just for this reason. Many of the reading challenge lists just don't do it for me. I do want to read outside my comfort zone, but I will not finish books that don't hold my interest. I am also more likely to stall out and just not read for a while if I have books I need to slog through. So far I've read my first graphic novel and then two more, two books of poetry, a novel in verse, and two actual novels. Now that I've got on a bit of a limb... back to sci fi ❤️ I really enjoyed the novel in verse, and need to find more books like that.

This is a legit solid question. I'm also working on my morning routine, and I've thought about what I had or need to do, but haven't thought about what and ideal morning would look and feel like. This is why I always come back to the forums. Ya'll are insightful and supportive as all get out. I feel this down DEEP.

Ugh. I'm so sorry she was feeling bad! And all the mess! I always feel bad for the doggos, too. They don't *want* to be making a mess. But they feel awful. Poor thing.

Trying to get caught up for more horsing around Hope your eye turns out ok Why do you *have* to be out of the barn??

Yes. He's not that Wild 🙄 😋 but it keeps with the new theme. He's mine until he's gone from this world, hopefully many more years before that. I have to be careful Baby Bird doesn't get his little fingers bit off, as he almost stuck his hand right into Wild Horse's mouth yesterday. 😳 It is equally difficult to explain hands are not carrots as it is to explain big furry thing has bitey bits that will trash little hands. Monday was the first day I've ever accomplished my entire morning routine in one go. It's all of 20 minutes, but Squirrel and I made it happen. Eating was on point. Walk was great. Baby Bird was bonkers, and it seems he is getting more teeth. Routine: HECK YA Walk: yep Strength: no Meditate: yes Tuesday I was so. done. with teething. I was tired and achey and UGH. Walk didn't happen, eating could have been better, but Baby Bird and I made it through the day. He is incredibly cute, even when miserable. Routine: half, no walk Walk: later in the day Strength: no Meditate: yes, before bed, but still struggled to settle down I've already finished two novels - one a delight and one a dismaying miserable slog - as well as a book of poetry, a novel in verse, and three graphic novels this year. I'm super pumped to hit new reading goal numbers!! Box of Holding is yet untouched, but will be divided into Two Boxes of Holding instead of One Overflowing Box of Holding this afternoon - if Baby Bird lets me....