Pyralis

sorry if you've mentioned it somewhere but what colors do you use?

That painting looks great. Did you know green is known to be problematic in painting? Looks like you've sorted it out with making the background black, but for other pics, maybe you can go more into blue? That would create a contrast with yellow. Love your photos!

That fish looks like one of those that go on your wall and sing when you pass them Looks amazing with all that snow. It's SO different here. Just storm, rain, and plus temperatures. And clouds. Am a bit envious. Can you ice skate there? The snow looks so fresh and untouched, why is nobody ice skating? What are you planning to paint?

No feedback yet..

@Alanna I see, for a moment I thought she was the developer of the program 😁 Yupp, familiar with it. Worst DOMS ever I had from Insanity. Lasted up to a week. After that week all fine for months on end.. Nah, don't worry. I've even opened a thread about this topic years (*cough*) ago - I think the weight training helps a lot with bodyweight training goals, so I will not discard it. I might never get invested a lot in it (but who knows!) because currently I do not care so much about being able to lift heavy, but it helps with everything else. And if it doesn't take an hour or more, it's not as bad. Plus, as I mentioned, in 2018...yadda yadda. But I did feel best in my life back then and I did weight training then, so seems plausible to go back there and check what did not work then to not make that mistake again. Thanks, I've always ignored that box 😂 will try next time

pretty cool how you worded your challenge. Living with the ex sounds hard. Good luck with meeting your goals and welcome back!

This is such a great image. It did give me some DS vibes before you mentioned it. Are you excited for Elden Ring?

Thanks you all, but what I dont get: @Scaly Freak "yours" because you're doing it currently? I'm confused 😅 Did I mention that I'm despite the tiny weights ridiculously sore? My lats hurt, my shoulders hurt, my legs hurt, my stomach hurts, even my butt hurts, it's amazing. Yeah, you mentioned that in your other post, that I sound torn. I am (was?), but I do not want to make decisions without properly trying and I do think getting started with weights will help with all other stuff as well. Or you could say, I changed my opinion during our discussion I'll do it for a few months and then see where it gets me.

After checking all the beginner workouts provided by @Alanna (thank you again for all your patience and information and work to help me out ) and considering the pros and cons, I've decided to pick up Phrak's Greyskull Program. I like the idea of the plugins plus that the squats come last. Strong Lifts was also tempting because of the 5 x 5 instead of 3 x 5. Considering that I want to keep it as short as possible, I decided for Greyskull in the end. Then I felt like starting it immediately but my brain said: But it's weekend! Why don't you wait for Monday instead to make a REAL™ start? To my brain saying "Not today, Pyralis", I responded with "Not today, brain" and just did it. It took 30 minutes anyway, so it has the perfect length for me to actually do it. The weight I used was even below the weight of a gym bar. Last time I did a full body workout a few weeks ago, I was sore for a full week afterwards and I was using ~45 lbs. Since I am supposed to progress every workout if I manage the 3x5, I wanted to prevent being that sore this time and only used ~28 lbs. Guess what. I'm super sore today. Seeing the bar with those tiny tiny discs had me laugh out loud and point it out to my boyfriend but he just looked at me all seriously and said: We all gotta start somewhere. 😍 I love that the plan has a plan for progression, I never really considered this before, or let's say, didn't follow hard rules on it. When I could do my 4 x 8, I would not necessarily put on more weight next time, it depended on how I felt. Which seemed reasonable but also a bit comfortable. It is more comfortable but makes the whole thing a bit boring and open end, which is not that motivating. I'm really really excited currently, think I'll soon reach the point where the weights get more challenging. I never lifted very high weights btw., never near 100 lbs or something. Also never lifted long enough to get near such point. Also ordered some 0,5 kg weights for a smoother progression. Besides that, I cooked roasted buckwheat porridge today, added some frozen fruit (mango, raspberries) and topped with greek yoghurt. It was great, we have those sweet flavor powders which I like much more than the drops and they come in tons of different flavors. Boyfriend made fluffy cheesecake and I'm still working on the calendar. Might go for a bike ride later. Next step will be nutrition and I still want to come up with a more organized form, habit tracker, something like that. I'm still at the part where I am sorting through everything and making things happen step by step. I'd like to do the Ruby course again but I do not want to reset my progress just yet. Tomorrow I will learn if I got accepted into the bootcamp. Besides that, my part time contract has been signed last Thursday, making it final and official. Hope y'all had a great weekend!

@Rookie Oh here we mostly have slugs that do not crunch. Now I see what you mean with loyalty and what makes it so hard to quit, especially with Boss B, even though he already said he could understand a change if it suits you (the team). It stands out though how quickly others seem to quit. Why is that? Due to the company being bought? What would happen to your project? Not sure if this is too personal territority already, but I can imagine it takes a toll on motivation if you feel what you work on could get ditched. Haha, I have 2 reactions towards what you describe, my first is: oh my, this sounds like such a nice place with a nice boss where people get heartfelt Christmas cards, I wish our company was like this. My second is: Good my company is not like this, I would feel remorse for quitting and probably stay there longer than good for me. Got a new manager a while ago and really like him, and he pays attention that I get work that I want to do and gives me a lot of freedom as well, but in the end, I would quit anyway if it suited me, no matter how much I like him or how much he needs me. It's an interesting topic because actually I'm quite the Care Bear, believe it or not. I've read so many books on the topic, especially about women in jobs, and how they are conditioned early on to stay in positions that hurt them, take on more work because they want to be nice (not that all this necessarily applies to you, this is just the general tenor of those books), get exploited more easily because they're usually more social, communicate horizontally than vertically which means they often do not understand and/or value hierarchies or take it all personally, which men seem to do much less. For them it's a politics game. I'm trying to view my company more through this lens for a while, therefore my stance on it. I do have trouble letting coworkers down actually, especially in situations where I know they would struggle without me. But here I am aware I am making up for the mismanagement of upper management and bosses, and also sometimes wonder if I am stupid for it, because some other guy takes 2 weeks of sick leave after 2 weeks of vacation and nobody bats an eye. I have not missed 1 day of work since I started and it's not like I plan to do so intentionally, like, wow, has been 2 years, time to take sick leave, but these guys do not care. And nobody cares either. If you need or want to talk, always feel free to PM me. Love that bird quote! Got me curious here, could you elaborate what you mean with the speed? Yes! This is something I know with my brain but all the consumed cottagecore has me see it in a romantic light, still ❤️ Oh! Doesn't this make you a unicorn already? So far I've only ever heard the opposite. Perfect description, but on the bright side, now I know there IS a light. Stuck in a dead end I almost had lost hope there will ever be something else.. I think this is an interesting question and what matters. What happens when there is no pressure to do something that earns a lot and has a lot of prestige but you could do whatever? I wanted to go on with this in my previous paragraph but too much. Because the mentioned dev FOR SURE would not want to be a receptionist, neither do I, and what happens when people can suddenly do whatever? Or nothing? Discussions like these are being led in general, especially considering basic income being a topic every now and then. I have no answer to the question but I would pretty much love to see it answered. We have a huge organization here that does such experiments where they pay people a liveable basic income and see what happens to these people's health, motivation, life in general etc., this is super interesting. Especially because you mention people going in debt for their education and put lots of effort in, I think this argument is not entirely valid because I think many solely do it with the outlook of earning better. But what if this outlook was gone? Would they still rather want to be a doctor or go for garbageman now? And what if nobody had to go in debt for an education anymore? What would people now do? I think another interesting question is: If a job like doctor loses high pay and prestige, will there anyone want to be a doctor anymore? Neither do I, but I have worked "low prestige" jobs and people's reaction to me and my coworkers sometimes was abysmal, and it often came from people in suits, considering themselves to be better. Not all are like this but many are. I've also worked in a small store and there are so many people who think they are somehow above you for it because you have to be nice to them. lol me too I don't think I'd fall off the truck but whenever I see them, I wonder if that job would be okay. I did enjoy being a cleaner, I could work in peace and alone at my own pace and listen to music and podcasts without any coworkers around because I did it in the evening. Would love to be one again sometimes but the pay...

@Rookie Yes, love that though, and also how sometimes we seem to learn just what we need a short while later. Almost like No idea, it just came to my mind for some reason. Can't say I'm particularly fond of snails though. I'd remove them from the path as well, one reason being that I do not want them to die, the other reason that I would hate to see this gooey mess. Hm I can only guess here. In my company, I started in 2020, I was new and thought very good of the company but then witnessed how people were laid off and some of it didn't happen in a good way, the image of the company got ruined for me quite quickly by this. I understand your reasons for staying, even if I think it is a bit of golden cage syndrome, which I also fully understand. The thing is: You could look anyway, and interview anyway, and have high standards because you still have a job. I mean, always have high standards, what I wanna say is, you don't have to rush anything. I constantly switch between "Wow my job is the best that could have happened to me - or anyone. Home office, not so much work, so much freedom, the money ok-ish, there's definitely worse" and "I'm dead inside, my job is so terrible that I'd rather quit tomorrow and work in a barn to shovel horse shit than endure one more day of this treadmill" So I never really know how I feel about my job. Overall okay but then I applied for a position last year in a company that looked really good and has to do with games. I did not think they would call me back after handing in my application but I got 3 interviews. It all happened during 1-2 weeks and I tell you, I was EUPHORIC. It was a spontaneous idea to apply and I never thought I had chances but when I still thought I could work there (in the end, they rejected me), I was singing and dancing in the kitchen, to my own surprise, and overly happy and alive and not dead at all inside, despite the fact this job would have earned much less and been much more effort, would have included a daily commute, a ton of learning, intimidating new tasks and all. But I really thought I could make the switch to that company and work in games in a super motivated team and learn a whole new area. I did not know I would feel this way, I only found out after applying and when they invited me to the interview. The interviews were great, except the last one where I f*cked up the logic questions, but the team was pretty cool nontheless. I simply would not have expected it to be that motivating and that wave of fresh air, before applying I felt very meh about the whole process. I hate interviews usually and always think, why bother and have all the effort and anxiety for nothing or some lackluster experience. I'm also camera shy and obsess over lighting and make-up a lot so I love to not have this experience, but sometimes it can be worth it. So long story short, why not just pick something that looks pretty good and just apply and if it doesn't work out, whatever. Maybe, and here I want to quote what you wrote above, it's a case of: Having to go back to my golden cage job was a real bummer after the rejection. All the unknown new stuff, the exciting new position, vanished into thin air. And I'm not writing this to get a "sorry that happened" - but to say that I think stuff like this helps to gain a new perspective, so I'd try it. The loyalty is something I do not understand because I know, maybe your company is a rare exception, that companies never value their employees as much. I know when I am gone today, nobody will care tomorrow. Not because they don't like me, but that's just how it is. They would not bat an eye to fire me, so the same applies to me. Also they know it is not personal. Is it really loyalty in your case or anxiety/fear of confrontation/inertia, masked as loyalty so it does not seem so bad? What you write about your salary and how it does not even match the salary of new developers makes me angry. Doesn't make them seem very loyal to YOU. It's no shame if it's not real loyalty but anxiety/etc. from your side, I think everybody who claimed to not have felt like this would be lying. Sometimes I think we always consider the "what if things got worse" but hardly the "what if things got much better", even when life has proven us in various lectures, we are still afraid to try the new because it could become worse. In your case I would job hunt and then just see what would make me a bit scared and excited, in a good way, and then apply there and see how it feels. Got nothing to lose Yeah, reading this I can already feel both of it Agree on the animal work. I sometimes considered being a vet but when having to put pets to sleep, I would be the one crying the most every time, and then working with cattle and all, help farmers.. rather not. It's not that romantic. Think farmer's work is very hard in a different way. With jobs it really is "pick your poison". They all have trade-offs, can't be helped. Gotta pick something that doesn't have a nice image but is an activity you know you enjoy doing. Not sure how it is where you live, but here, the trades are paid not very well. Maybe if self-employed you can earn great but otherwise.. it's a lot of discomfort and hard physical work for not that much money, then I'd rather work the desk job and paint my own house in my free time and garden in my own garden and tend to my own horse. Maybe you can though take a week off and try an internship, or just 1-2 days. I was in love with the idea of being a gardener but a few internships fixed this pretty quickly I really think low prestige jobs should be paid much better. It is work that has to be done. Yesterday I wondered why we at work get paid different wages. They say it is because of different abilities and different education, but the bonus they pay depending on your time you spend working in the company, which means everybody got the same bonus who works the same amount of hours, the lowly supporter got as much as the senior developer. And I think, why not? I once had a talk with my brother which changed my outlook on this, I said disabled people can't earn as much for their work because they work slower and aren't as capable as someone not disabled. He asked me why and said they put in the same 8 hours, why should they not earn a worthy wage instead of some pocket money for the labor they can do? Mind me, I was young and stupid back then, and I have to agree with him. So, switching back to my company and in general, why is my support work valued less? The company hired me. I work 8 hours. Why are my 8 hours worth less? They obviously do need me. I also have a degree. You can still argue that a senior dev can do a support job but a supporter can't do a senior dev job, but is that so? And why does it even matter? We had a great receptionist, she was kind, did all kinds of work from back office to cleaning and whatnot, why did she earn only half of what the unlikeable senior dev earned? She was my first, very good impression of the company. He was my first bad impression of the company. And despite that, does she not also stay 8 hours and does she not also need to pay rent and make a living? I know my thoughts are half-baked and maybe not valid if thought through in greater detail but sometimes I wonder why it is how it is. The world needs farmers, the world needs servers and other "lowly" jobs, why are we pushed into bullshit jobs only to pay for basic needs or the WOWOWOW LUXURY of owning small property with some chickens? Stupid. Why are they even low prestige? I think a farmer deserves prestige, a cleaner and a garbageman. Do you like Stardew Valley?

@Alanna I got Mistborn. The more I think about it, the more I think Spinning Silver works so well for me because the first protagonist is VERY ANGRY and I HATE how she's treated and I love her spite, The other 2 are okay for me but the least interesting so far is the more passive girl. Following some thoughts about weight and goal weight. Yesterday I checked Stacis weight and height. I know Staci's story but it never seemed relevant to me, now it suddenly does. I always wanted to be thin but with definition and functional strength. I do not think Staci looks bulky at all, even though she does have notable legs. I got the weight from her first before and after comparison, when she had already lost fat and packed on muscle but was still at the beginning of her journey, 142 lbs, and it translates roughly to my goal weight (65 kg) - BUT I am almost 10 cm taller. So I took her BMI from that time (23) and compared that, so my weight (keeping in mind that my physique is completely different, she always had a comparably thin stomach) with that muscle and bodyfat could probably be 71-72 kg (157 lbs). My bf sent me a calculator https://mennohenselmans.com/ffmi-calculator/ to calculate genetic muscular potential. When I enter my current weight, with guessed 30% of bodyfat (I used the army bodyfat calculation method in the past at this weight and 30% seems legit, even though entering different bodyfat % does not change the outcome of the potential), it calculates 77.5 kg for me at my max. Since it then says fat mass left to lose 9 kg (and lean mass to gain 9.5), I assume without packing on the muscle, a better goal weight would be not at 65 but 68-71 kg. Then there's the last point, I do not care so much about being able to lift a lot. What I would consider goals is this woman: Olivia Vivian While she looks thin in a way that does not look like it's easy to maintain and also not exactly how I'd imagine wanting to look like, what she is able to do is amazing. Staci wrote about how she was super excited the night before deadlifts - I do not know what she's talking about. Lifting is okay for me, a means to an end, something I would be willing to do for the results. Excited though would make me a bike tour (can I do it?), possibly a hike, skiing, swimming, and maybe even running - the evil cardio stuff. Which is ridiculous because I think stamina/endurance is not even my strength. I think my mind loves it and the trance that comes with it, and sometimes the speed and adrenaline. Being merely skinny is not the solution, I am absolutely with Staci here. I've been at 58 kg and did not like how I looked, I was very insecure, I felt ugly, I had to watch what I eat all the time, no energy, it was terrible, the worst time of my life. I felt pretty good in 2018 when I worked out regularly. I did not look how I wanted yet - but I was looking thin, at 67-68 kg. Long story short, I think... I should stop wanting to weigh 65 or less. For some reason I had this idea still that if I workout "for real" now, I will pack on muscle, but also still have the fat, and therefore see zero progress, and that I should lose the fat first and then bother with "real" workouts. I feel super motivated currently to find something that works for me and get into it. The thought of going back to counting calories and having to go for long walks was a bit depressing and so far I've avoided dealing with it. So glad to have found something better now and that I do not have to wait until I have lost weight before getting started. No idea how to hit the protein goals though but hey, I love red lentils. Thinking about ditching the scale for a while. I'm not really bothered by it, for me it's merely a tool, but maybe the number is not that important. Must at least take photos + measurements (again). Just had a discussion with my bf again about the sweet spot when training. For now, Olivia Vivian would beat me at deadlifts, I am sure. But I think she would not beat Staci. Since I am not interested in lifting as heavy as possible, there must be a sweet spot where the weight training builds up enough strength and accommodates the other stuff I want to be able to do (climbing, pull ups) but where it does not make sense to keep packing on the weights to deadlift more, simply because for what you want to do you do not need huge leg muscles.

I'm not surprised about your estimation. Yes, exactly, I already had some backlash for him and we also had a talk yesterday again with me telling him that my goals and what I need might be different from what some buff dude needs, and his (my bfs) goal is packing on muscle mostly, of course he wants to be stronger but more muscle mass is his focus. While I on the other hand am more interested in getting strong quickly and while of course I do appreciate a nice physique - doesn't it come with that anyway? But it's usually all good-natured and a discussion, we never argue in a heated manner and I appreciate his advice and help, even if I do not always agree. I do not want to trash his ways, but our goal (and gender) does differ and needs to be accomodated for. The number of isolation exercises I already argued down. Some of them I appreciate, others I even forget all the time what they are 🤣 Before every workout I have to google some of them. The squats - I did ask the same (why do I have to do so many different kinds) and I think his explanation was my struggle with squats. I'm rather tall and struggle with back squats. We didn't agree if you have to stay as upright with the upper body as possible or if it is okay for a taller person to fold like a swiss army knife. I've even read articles on this topic alone. I simply can not stay upright during squats, a bit more during front than backsquats, and so I think he just incorporated a variety of squats into my routine to practice form and different kinds of squats. The band assisted squats for example are where I can lean back more because the band helps. I do like them to be honest, but I never take them that seriously as an exercise to actually get stronger, same as with the facepulls, they're also not even hard, so far I've seen them as at least addressing some muscles I'd usually not address, kinda like stretches, as compensation for sitting a lot of the day. The safety squats are misnamed, should have mentioned that - they are actually assisted back squats with a chair. Which feels like cheating to me. I would get more out of it if I did "real" squats, but with the chair assisted squats I could use more weight. Have to admit I got a bit lazy here and then only ever did the chair assisted squats. I just googled the Bulgarian Split Squats and can say I never did those, I also never do lunges, I can never get my knees right during them and always somehow hurt them. Do you think lunges can be skipped altogether? I do appreciate them for balance and ankle stability, but feel half moons (and variations) could do the same. Fun fact, usually my workout would look like this: 10-20 minutes airbike, or 30 minutes Box VR or Beat Saber, for warm-up, then doing what seemed reasonable, which translated into bench presses, sometimes overhead presses, deadlifts, pull ups with rings (the horizontal ones), sometimes glute bridges, push ups, squats. Never tracked, just done. The exercises I know and deem important. This is what I would stick to. Without it being very official. Just do it. Don't write anything down, no plan. It's not perfect, but it got done. I think I will need to borrow from this approach. Not gonna say I ditch a plan but it needs to be within certain boundaries, more like your approach with a lot less of the isolation exercises which also pull a programme to lengths I am currently not willing to go through. Usually after the Box VR I think I'll quickly do xyz, and then it takes 30-45 minutes, but if I have this workout plan where I know this is going to be an hour, I "ugh" myself out of the responsibility. I did not yet compare the programmes you listed but I will do so today. I got more about the last point, weight, but I'll put it in my thread, think it belongs there, I put enough here already. Thanks again for all your input! Much appreciated!

Wow 500! That's a lot. I'm sometimes surprised how high my TDEE can get, somehow in my head is the false info that women only need 1200 calories and when I repeatedly see I burn 2500 - 3000 a day with exercise (and that is not even much compared with women who lift and train hard).. wow. My current plan was made by my boyfriend, he made a long one (1 h 15 m) and a short one (1 h) 🤣 I do trust his expertise and thoughtfulness but of course he's no professional. I haven't done it in a while and it's a split, with 2x legs, push and pull, all done within one week. I never did the other leg exercises (there are 2 different for each leg day a week). The ones I did: Legs Pull Push I adjusted the weights on the go but did never enter them into the Excel since I never did this "programme" longer than for 5 weeks and could always memorize the weight without anything (I know, it's not perfect that way, I should write it down, used to do it in another life but last year I did not) The long workout he made me seemed good (effective, I did this in 2020 and noticed improvements quickly), the short one I can not tell, seems reasonable to me but if anything sticks out to you, feel free to point it out (besides it being a split which might not be best for a beginner)

I just had this epiphany, after the first epiphany when writing with @Rookie that it is unlikely that my interests will COMPLETELY change in a few years and therefore I need not be so afraid of going for things. Thought about how January is going and how I need to incorporate exercise into my day and the first thought that came up was, as always: Need to get my "general schedule" (guess work? or sleep? or just a diffuse feeling?) in order and my sh*t together, THEN I can incorporate a workout plan. When it suddenly struck me dude, you're putting the cart before the horse again. The schedule needs to be from the important things and then the other stuff will fall in line, the other stuff will not magically become scheduled and then you nicely fit in the important things, it will NEVER HAPPEN. it's like the story with the sand and the stones, the sand will go around the stones, not otherwise. Man. I love epiphanies, especially for the stupidest of things you have always KNOWN but never knew. is the horse really doing that? wow

@Keladris Yes, I love that for everything there's a tribe here, no matter how small How big was your deficit? I checked one or two of your challenges (nice gifs and photos! And congrats for the successful challenges and weight loss!) and read you struggled with going for walks but then started to take photos. Great idea actually. We got Randonautica last year as motivation but we did not even try it here after we moved. I was kinda motivated for walks last year autumn but now.. nah. So boring. The world is grey right now. I'm trying to think how I will manage to reach my 2300 calory goal daily without having to go for walks. What I wanted to still try is walk in rhythm with music. Usually I go with my boyfriend and we talk, or, I talk, and the topics often become unpleasant - politics mostly.

First Alanna, thanks a bunch - again - I'll check out all these programmes and see what suits me most and compare it with the program I got. Oh. It never occured to me that this might not be the ideal weight when also having certain muscle tone. Funny how one can think to have thought of everything and yet still something slips the attention. Yes, I've done that multiple times and this + the data from Fitbit and several spreadsheets to work with. There, fixed that for you.

@Rookie Just read your reply and have so many thoughts but I want to let it settle a bit and then will write back @Alanna So glad there are more books of her, I had no idea Naomi existed and never heard of her books. I'm lowkey in love with Chernabog for >20 years now lol and a few days ago searched for him on tumblr when a mention of this book came up after a lot of pictures I scrolled through. Closed tumblr here and then, thinking: "Ok this was the reason I had to search for him", got the book, read the first page and was hooked right away. I haven't felt like in the right headspace to get into a book for a long time and was browsing books and half-heartedly starting them every now and then. I also got a few other books which I will try afterwards (by Brandon Sanderson for example, no idea if his stuff works for me) but if it doesn't work, I'll read more by Naomi instead. It's SO GOOD to be back into a story and not being able to stop reading. I just remembered I also started "Confessions of a bourgeois" by Sandor but I didn't get past the first 5 pages so far.. ahem.

@Rookie But here you have framed it in a way that makes it absurd I doubt I would wake up and not like anymore what I did like, but where the struggle begins is (actually I think you have a talent of phrasing things in a way that feels like mirroring potentially flawed or "half-cooked" logic back to me without being aggressive or intrusive, no idea if you do it on purpose but I like it!) when investing heavily to go into a certain direction. Writing this it already seems ridiculous. What is there to lose? Also it's not like many experiences are so FUNDAMENTALLY different on this earth. At least this is how I feel. I mean, I like cake and my fav is carrot cake but if I get apricot cake or chocolate, I'm also happy. In the end it all goes into my mouth and tastes good How likely is that though? When I was 18 I would get overly worked up over thoughts like these, like, I do not have the opportunity to try EVERYTHING, how can I decide then?? What if my talent is bull fighting or I am great at breeding racing snails?? It didn't occur to me then that I would most likely have an idea of it already. On the other hand, I would have never thought driving a car would be so much fun until the day I tried. Scary idea that there are more things like this that I can not imagine to be fun but would make me enthusiastic. Isn't it always the same story? Did you look around for similar jobs already? Asked people you know? Maybe, if your team is great, you can mass-switch to somewhere else. Isn't there also a good chance a new job will pay even better? What would you like to do though? I hate that there is often this trade-off for many of us. It doesn't have to be this way but it often seems like it. That we all have to trade so much of energy and lifetime to afford things that should be easier to afford. Fair enough, still meh. Gotta say though that I meant with sturdy ship not the life circumstances but the feeling of knowing what you want and who you are. About the doctor's visit, oh well. I can see another doctor but it's a bit difficult here and comes with lot of effort, we're on the countryside and the city is a bit away and guess I'll just suck it up for now. I checked in this city for ADHD docs but they all do not have appointments anytime soon.

Quick update for the week so far. Reply to @Alanna with one thing or two 🐎 Clean my bike so I can go for rides again 🐎 Clean house this weekend 🐎 Finish Ruby course 🐎 Went to doctor's appointment 🐎 Besides that.. Started reading first novel for the year (planned at least 12) - Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik - love it. Went for 1 hour bike ride, my butt hurts Current mood: Waiting for final decision from bootcamp person if I can participate or not.

@Rookie Does it ever happen to you, or have you ever been afraid of, that the things you think you want now change drastically and suddenly you do not care anymore? I've never felt like this captain of a sturdy ship deciding he definitely wants to see this one amazing harbor, I've always felt more like the passenger on a paper boat who has many nice to see harbor destinations but then decides in the middle of the ocean to stay and become a mermaid. Maybe.

Hello, it has been a bit! Looks like your week is going well, according to the bells. I went through your last text regarding fitness/programming again and a few things came to mind. So if I am able to do sets of 10, the intensity is automatically low because the weight not high enough for the intensity to be high? You also say reasonable rep range for strength gain is 5 reps per set. I assume 5 reps and I can't do 6 determines the weight. How many sets is the minimum in this case, would you say? And what is the optimum? Or does it depend on upper/lower body? This is something I argue a lot about with my boyfriend. I found that with deadlifts for example I need to do at least 4 sets of 8 to even make the exercise feel efficient, feel right, find my form and warm up, so up to 6 sets are fine for me, but with many other exercises, especially when not compound exercises which I feel I have to practice, I despise having to do more than 4 sets with 5 – 8 reps each and would actually prefer 3 sets. My boyfriend claims I should sometimes do 15 reps even for 4 sets or so but I don’t see the point, besides doing it in the beginning anyway to get back into the exercise and sometimes inbetween for the form. You keep mentioning the eating enough part –I’m really pondering this. When I calculate my maintenance calories for 65 kg (goal) for a moderately active lifestyle, it says around 2200 calories, with 78 kg it says for moderately active around 2400. Would a 200 calorie deficit be recomposition? Bet it would take forever to see any change then, but I guess would make for better progress in strength training? Is there a certain value until which size of caloric deficit gains are still possible or does it differ a lot? Sorry if that has been mentioned already somewhere. I only read about recomposition when people have much less fat to lose, for the last few pounds. Not sure if it makes sense when you have 15 kg of fat to lose. yes please Wish you a good rest of the week, keep going strong.

Now week 1 of January is almost over. Even though work slowed me down, I managed to accomplish a few things. It was so weird. As I said, usually I do not have clear resolutions for new years but January 1st I was browsing reddit and started typing them out and could not stop, still in bed, and then this rush of urgency and "MAKE THIS YEAR COUNT" got me and it has not really left yet. I think many factors weigh into this. Every year I get a wall planner that displays the months of the whole year horizontally - don't ask me why but I hate the ones where the months are vertical. I then attach the planner RIGHT IN MY FACE on the wall in front of me, then I add all the vacation and holidays for the year, and 2021 was the year where I actually started to cross off months and days as they had passed just for the sake of it. Just for: Phew. This is over. This month is done. Only x months to go in this year. Originally the planner idea was because I'm a visual type and wanted to split the year into visible chunks for me to plan and have something to look forward to, I never intended it to be this "Can't wait until this year is over"-countdown. But I guess it has done something to me. The past year, and maybe also 2020, and maybe many years before, seemed like this tough, doughy mass of slowly flowing days that would stretch and extend forever. But not in a good "Wow I have so much time, the days flow like honey and I hope it never ends"- summer holiday kind of way. More in a groundhog day kind of way. The same day repeating endlessly, only the weather changes (sometimes, usually it's raining). Feels more like a stretch of tar I got stuck on. Simultaneously the time RUNS like crazy, it runs so much that I wonder, how could I ever suffer? It was over in the blink of an eye and tomorrow I'll be 80 and wonder how a bit of discomfort I have already forgotten about could stop me from anything. Maybe this realization, my age (which has time feel like it passes quicker) or the fact that things have gotten better and better over the years and I'm still not happy with where who I am, something has made me view this year differently. Lol I wish I knew what. Maybe also this video: It really stuck with me, even though it's not new, but it's true. Maybe a combination of this and what I mentioned above did the trick to feel more determined. Accomplishments this week: Started the application process for working part time in 3 months Almost finished calendar for 2022 (I want to design and print my own for 2 years now, got all the images for it but never followed through. Planned to finish this weekend. It's full of moodbards and motivational stuff) Applied at best bootcamp, had the interview today, it went very well and I think I managed to convey an image of motivation and determination The interview was super fast-paced, loved it 30% finished of obligatory coding course that is the entry barrier for the bootcamp, it's fun so far Applied at another recommended bootcamp just in case, need to book an interview next Made doctor's appointment for next week Made appointment for cat's upcoming vaccinations Checked job offers and available bootcamps. I list this as accomplishment because I'm known to avoid looking into anything that scares me Had first workout of the year. Yesterday did some Box VR, Beat Saber, and then full body lifting - squats, bench presses and vertical pull ups. Moderately sore today in shoulders, back, legs. Feels good. Yesterday was the first day in 2022 I actually reached the 2300 calorie goal again Going for first walk since Christmas in 15 minutes. Urgh. But hey. It's something Coming up: Reply to @Alanna with one thing or two Clean my bike so I can go for rides again Go back to counting calories Clean house this weekend Create a plan with action items from my resolution's list, break it down to some weekly tasks and goals Finish the calendar I'm still thinking about elaborating what it is with the horse because the original story is kinda stupid and even a bit embarassing but I might post it Feeling pretty good right now. Hope your week was successful so far.

Hello Alanna, I LOVE your answer to my post, thank you so much for it, there are so many gems in it. Not gonna reply to everything and say everything that crosses my mind but I'm really impressed by how much sense it makes and how well elaborated it is. It's almost like a missing puzzle piece, and it's so funny as well since my boyfriend is an avid lifter and consumes so much information and videos and often tries to help me with advice and still I feel like your post tackles so many more of my issues - could be simply because we're women and it's not as simple? For how you judge a program - you said it yourself a bit later - then I can take almost any program, especially currently, since I'm again at beginner level and will progress with everything. While reading that paragraph of yours about beginners/intermediate lifters, I had a little come to Jesus moment - maybe THIS is why I avoid progress, and not only in this area. I remember a time around 2018 when I felt great, working out regularly, got strong (actually the strongest I've been so far), made progress with deadlifts, had been climbing a lot before this period, made progress with pull ups, but then stalled and did not really know how to progress. I'm sure I was not advanced enough that it really was a training issue, maybe it was also my patience and the way would have been quite easy and just to keep following through, maybe someone with experience could have told me what to change when asked - but at this point I gave up. I remember one day looking at myself in the mirror, disappointed, because I thought my body did not look accordingly, and then remembered that I could not even do a full real pull up and then all motivation left me. Maybe I used to be like a small ball, a perpetuum mobile, rolling back and forth between the initial slope and the first obstacle on the learning curve . All my advice so far was: Keep doing the exercise, if you can't, do the modification (bands etc) and one day you will get there. But now I feel that there are SO MANY more valid and better tools to overcome that obstacle Absolutely true! I like to fool around in the beginning to lure me into something and develop the habit but then I'm better off with a plan. Thanks for the info and vid on undulating periodisation. I love there is a term and strategy for it I can actually look up and incorporate in a meaningful way. Yupp this is my biggest issue and I tackled it so far with the bands. Issue that I can't bend the arms from straight when hanging into the pull-up movement. The band made that possible for the first time. Now I'll look into scapular pulls, ring rows I am already doing, and you mention deadlifts in general - I love deadlifts but hearing they actually help with pull ups makes them even better. It gives me tons of info to work with. Especially regarding your paragraph above that - it makes me wonder though how to efficiently coach yourself through all of this. Can you even see yourself where your weaknesses are and what you need to improve? Is it possible to be efficient in working on yourself without a coach? I would not even know what programme to pick. Guess it's a lot of googling and self awareness? Have a good one! (whatever it is today) Edit: Did you see the first comment on the video?

I think the question is not why some people already know 5 years in advance what they want from life but why we think we should be this way and have it all figured out as well. For me there are things I absolutely know and some I am flexible with. I know I will never take up ballet for example. Now thinking about it actually I don't know what will happen but what I don't want to happen. Was gonna say never gonna live in a big city ever again but I can imagine certain circumstances where it could be necessary. I know I will always want to do certain things but I don't know if I will be able to. Isn't it admirable actually how secure some people feel with their planning? Anyways, I feel that setting goals within a timeframe often yields surprising results when it comes to our judgement if something is realistic in a certain timeframe or not, that's why for things I am relatively sure I want them I boldly set up timeframes even when I don't know yet how to keep it. Not like: I will be able to lift 200 kg tomorrow. But like: I will find a perfect apartment in October. I think it sets up our mind in a way more prone to reach a goal.