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SkyGirl

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About SkyGirl

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    The Silver Archer
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  1. I'm very much in this space too, so you're not alone!! I think you've done great in this challenge AND you're setting up a good mindset. I'm so proud of you!!
  2. Henlo frens! Still dealing with depression symptoms, along with a surprise IBS flareup that made a couple of days pretty miserable, continuingly horrible dreams, allergies, a crick in my neck, a crazy work week, and unpleasant weather ... so - not a whole lot to report this week. I am feeling the "Everything Is Terrible And I Want to Change My Whole Life" mood today, so I've done some writing and chatted a little about my thoughts with a friend, and am now researching some new kettlebell moves to try (which is a bit like collecting underpants, but it's something) and crockpot recipes while also shopping for a couple new work outfits. I'm kind of somewhere between "be gentle with yourself, you're dealing with unexpected symptoms and it's okay to adjust your plan" and "you can't let your symptoms take over your life, adapt and find ways to keep going" this week. I was supposed to make some new goals after reflection and see if I could make my fifth week of the challenge a launchpad, of sorts, to start some good habits for the year. But really, I think I'm still somewhere back in the reflection stage, trying to figure out what I want to accomplish and work on, and what's reasonable to expect from myself. And, maybe that's okay. No one says I have to have all my ducks in a row by January 31st. The things I do know I want to prioritize are the very basics that I identified in the beginning: Movement, cooking, therapy, relationships, and spiritual disciplines and growth. And, prioritizing all of them at once feels a little overwhelming at the moment. So - maybe, if I can't pull together a big massive set of Goals for the next challenge, I could prioritize one of those areas in each of the next few. And at the baseline of each one is, just do something every day. Nothing has to be perfect, nothing has to be complete. More thoughts to come! But for now I'm going to watch Eamon play Portal 2 and rustle up a snack.
  3. I was talking with a friend about Harry Potter this afternoon, and went to wizardingworld.com to look something up; and I had no idea they had this portrait maker on their site. I think I would be an awesome HP character.
  4. Thank you my friend. It's still not my favorite thing to do, but I need my people when I'm not doing well, and they can't help me if I don't tell them I need them. I really enjoyed Ms. Marvel because I learned things!! There were a lot of things about Pakistani culture and history that I didn't know much about and am excited to research more, based on watching the show. Plus a lot of their messages about family, love, loyalty, and identity really resonated with me too. I'm excited to see Kamala in the next Captain Marvel movie!
  5. Ugh I'm so sorry Ghostess is sick! How are things toward the end of this week?
  6. Wow, that week flew by FAST! Short version, I didn't get a whole lot of reflection done because I was hit by a wave of depression symptoms and much worse nightmares as shark week wrapped up (I've noticed that happening several times in the last few months, which is interesting), so I had very little energy and mostly focused on taking small steps each day to try to feel a little better until they passed. Today I'm not fully out of the woods, but have definitely had more energy and positivity than the last few days. Accomplishments this week, then, include: 1 kettlebell workout 1 walk 2 days of food tracking (and staying roughly within calorie limits!) Stayed on track with my Bible reading plan, despite accidentally skipping a couple days and having to catch up Followed up and got on the waiting list for two therapists who specialize in phobias, OCD and EMDR Had a good session with my current therapist Opened up to my best friends and Eamon that I wasn't doing well and asked for space where needed Wiped up the kitchen and bathroom before bed Kept tackling little pieces of my Big Cleaning List Watched and loved "Ms. Marvel" and Thor: Love and Thunder So, it was a week of small wins, and I am happily accepting that. Tomorrow I would love to get another walk, I might run some errands, I'm planning to attend my church's women's prayer group, and possibly game night with my friends, though it may be game night with just me, which is also totally fine. I do still want to reflect some on my goals and what's working and not. And, I really will try to catch up on some threads tomorrow too. Love you guys!!
  7. Hi guys! Another super-speedy update because it's almost time for bed - the rest of this weekend was really full (we had a day off today, so we spent a lot of the weekend visiting with friends and family), so I didn't quite achieve all my goals, but I'm still happy with how the week turned out. I also intentionally took it a little easier due to shark week, which was a good call because this month's was rough. Here's how we're looking (things I completed are crossed off): Body: (3x): Go to the gym or walk around the neighborhood (2x): Track food intake to get a sense of my current calorie/nutrient intake and where might need adjustment (1x): Cook a meal I enjoy, which includes at least 2 vegetables. Spirit: (7x): Read daily Bible plan assignment. (1x): Write something thoughtful and/or creative for one social media platform. (2x): Listen to one "Live from Rest" meditation at some point during the day. Home: (2x): Wipe down the kitchen and bathroom before bed. (1x): Pick one section of my home master cleaning list to work through on Saturday. Counting this one because I scrubbed the bathroom floor and baseboards on Saturday, which I'd been avoiding for months and felt so good about afterward! Relationships: (1x): Tell Eamon honestly about something negative that I'm feeling. (1x): Schedule an outing with a friend (doesn't have to actually happen this week). I did have a phone date scheduled, but it fell through - going to try again this week! So definitely not as complete as I would have liked, but the important ones happened and I am pleased. Several others were completed less than the planned amount, but I did do them at least once, like wiping down the kitchen and bathroom. This week, I only have one task: Week 4: Reflect Pause to figure out what's working and what isn't, without judgment - if it's not working, either it isn't really a high priority to me, or else I need to try a different tactic. For things that aren't important, let them go! There are plenty of other things to focus on! I should have some time for reflection in the next couple of days, and will think through the things that didn't get completed and figure out why. (Obviously there's shark week and a holiday, so that was part of it, but were those things not super important to me? Why not? Or was I genuinely kept from completing them and would have otherwise?) For tonight, time to get some sleep (and maybe a meditation before bed! )
  8. Hey frens!! Quick update for today - I am v. sore from going to the gym yesterday, which is a good feeling; shark week is painful; I tracked all my foods today and didn't eat nearly as much as I thought I was going to; and I checked in with a few friends who are not doing great, which wore me out emotionally pretty quickly, but I bounced back after a hot shower. Updated log so far this week: Body: (2x): Go to the gym or walk around the neighborhood (1x): Track food intake to get a sense of my current calorie/nutrient intake and where might need adjustment Spirit: (4x): Read daily Bible plan assignment. Home: (1x): Wipe down the kitchen and bathroom before bed Relationships: (1x): Tell Eamon honestly about something negative that I'm feeling Oooo, might still be time for a meditation before bed. I'll see what I can do. Will try to check in on folks' threads tomorrow!
  9. ... why must the answer be so simple and yet so dreadful. Isn't it?? It's kind of been my vibe for much of the 2020's so far ...
  10. Henlo frens! I just got back from the gym and am scarfing down leftover Indian food, so I am feeling very much like this excellent meme (which references this Biblical story, one of the cases in the Bible where God literally told someone having a meltdown to go get a snack and a nap and they'd talk later): Today was the abrupt onset of shark week, which brought more than its usual share of physical and emotional discomfort on top of an already crazy work day; so after a dull day of lethargy and self-pity, I decided to chase a few endorphins and do a low-intensity workout. This was a good decision and I am feeling much better. I really need to bite the bullet and start working on my back and core muscles, but I put that off for today, and did a short but solid arm and leg workout. Yesterday I was feeling really low and lonely throughout the day, so I asked Eamon if we could go out to dinner; and that was lovely. We hadn't really slowed down for a solid check-in since Christmas, so it was nice to share some of our current stresses and worries and comfort each other. I was reminded that it feels much better to openly share my stress with my husband than to swallow it down and pretend it isn't happening, which - I'd love to not have to be reminded of that, but the reminder is still appreciated. He also had some good suggestions for reducing my stress around TTC, and I'm going to put them into practice too. So, so far I've got: Body: (1x): Go to the gym or walk around the neighborhood Spirit: (3x): Read daily Bible plan assignment Home: (1x): Wipe down the kitchen and bathroom before bed Relationships: (1x): Tell Eamon honestly about something negative that I'm feeling Which is pretty heckin' good. And now time for a little Slime Rancher before some sweet, sweet sleep. Goodnight frens!
  11. Soooooo as I sit here with a scrunkly-feeling arm that I twinged from playing "Slime Rancher" for too long (), here is my sorted and organized list of goals (spoilered just so it's not visually overwhelming): So just to review, these are NOT my 2023 goals, but rather, my "what does a maximally healthy life look like to me?" goals. I can't possibly achieve completion of these goals in a year. BUT, I would like to keep these goals in mind this year, and set smaller goals within these categories to guide my self-improvement this year. And my next planned step for this week is: Week 2: Break it down Organize my Big Goals into similar topics / areas. Select either a handful or all of the Big Goals and figure out 3-4 smaller steps to move me toward these goals. ... which I think I intended to mean, "make a road map of several steps that will move me closer to my Big Goal." However, I am going to modify that goal, for two reasons: Firstly, my motivation is sagging and I don't want to overwhelm myself. But secondly, because these are more of a journey than a destination, I honestly don't know that I can realistically map out a plan by which I'll know I have "arrived" at Maximum Health. Instead, I'm going to skip ahead to Week 3: Week 3: Take steps Select one small-step goal from each topic area and add to my daily habit tracker. Try to perform the small goals consistently for the whole week. Here are my Smol Goal Attempts for this week: Body: (3x): Go to the gym or walk around the neighborhood (2x): Track food intake to get a sense of my current calorie/nutrient intake and where might need adjustment (1x): Cook a meal I enjoy, which includes at least 2 vegetables. Spirit: (7x): Read daily Bible plan assignment. (1x): Write something thoughtful and/or creative for one social media platform. (2x): Listen to one "Live from Rest" meditation at some point during the day. Home: (2x): Wipe down the kitchen and bathroom before bed. (1x): Pick one section of my home master cleaning list to work through on Saturday. Relationships: (1x): Tell Eamon honestly about something negative that I'm feeling. Preferably in the moment and not the cleaned-up, two-days-later version. (1x): Schedule an outing with a friend (doesn't have to actually happen this week). And, I just added these into my habit tracker. This looks like a nice list, actually, and I'm kind of excited for the week now! Each of these will move me closer toward feeling better in 2023 and I'm for sure down for that!
  12. I immediately thought of this video: Tomorrow will almost certainly be better. Academic work sucks like this at times, and some days there just ... aren't sources or coherent arguments. Sometimes they come up later, sometimes you shift your focus a little and find something else. But it does and will settle into something helpful in the end. Thank you for being gentle with yourself tonight. I'm so proud of you for coming and venting here instead of ghosting. I know from experience that's tough to do. I think you're awesome today just like I do every single day even if the universe is pushing you to go back to bed and scream!!
  13. *birdlike beeping sound* I can't believe Week 1 is already over!! The week went FAST and I didn't get to all seven affirmations, BUT I did say some affirmations to myself on the fly AND I did a couple things that were really challenging. Wins: I did contact a new therapist who specializes in phobias, and asked if they have any openings for the coming months; and they do, and will get back to me this week on whether they think I'm a good fit for their practice. I'll be honest, I'm terrified and I don't want to do it. I would rather keep hanging onto my flimsy protective rituals and safety behaviors, than take the plunge and push through the fear to get free. But it's also not consistent with my values to keep hurting and inconveniencing other people by refusing to work on this part of myself. So ... we'll see how it goes. I'm also extremely proud of myself. I've gotten a lot more movement this week! I went to the gym on Thursday and it was totally empty, so rather than doing a routine I had some fun trying different equipment that I don't usually use and seeing what felt good for my body that day. It ended up being treadmill, shoulder presses, medicine ball throws and rowing. I've also taken a couple of longish walks, including carrying groceries home this afternoon. Small steps! On my checklist, I did organize my goals into groups and choose some value words to accompany them, even if I didn't get all the way to verses and affirmations! So I'm ready to move on to some goal-setting this week! Quick mental health update (spoilered just because I feel silly for having feelings again): I'm going to do my goal-planning tomorrow just because it's almost time for Saturday night game night (I'm really starting to look forward to these!!), but I'm really excited to take advantage of my little sparks of success this week and keep fanning them into some habit-building. Motivation is fickle, but that doesn't mean we can't harness it when it shows up. Love y'all! More tomorrow!
  14. Weeping is officially Allowed, being sick sucks. Love you and sending hopes for lots of gentle hugs, warm blankets, super effective medicines, kitty snuggles, happy movies and sweet distracting games your way. And also following for your awesome goals!!
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