Tyrgal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6a_kRFt5dU "Ah, well I tried". I barely managed to meditate the last days and whenever I did, the sittings were a strain. There's no comfort or relaxation for me in it. When I started this challenge, I said: The former still holds true. Yet I find that meditation doesn't have that flavor to me anymore. It's not helping to calm down or relax, but it puts additional stress on me - both planning when I meditate as well as meditating itself. It doesn't create happiness but I feel uneasy whenever I sit down and relieved whenever a sitting is over. I tried to be optimistic about that but that's how it's been the last weeks. So I'm calling the challenge off and give up. Even if I'd continue to bite myself through day to day, I gain nothing from doing so. It's just adding stress and not doing anything for a more healthy lifestyle (neither mental nor physical). Anyways, thanks for sticking around @ everybody who's been reading this log. Needless to say I'm feeling down these days because of all this. I'll need time to recover before I'm ready to start something new. Until then I'll spent some more time in self-pity.

Journey Progress: 23,50h/100h 05.10.2016: 0,5 hours of meditation (2 sessions: 1x10 minutes + 1x20 minutes) Battle log summary: Managed to kick in 10 minutes in the morning, which was quite good!

Journey Progress: 23,00h/100h 04.10.2016: 0,5 hours of meditation (1 session) Battle log summary: Evening sitting was quite sleepy (probably because I covered myself in a big cuddly blanket. Cozy.).

Journey Progress: 22,50h/100h 03.10.2016: 0,5 hours of meditation (1 session) Battle log summary: erratic session. I was not looking forward to sitting and the session was filled with preoccupying thoughts. It's a small step getting back up but it's better than lying down and giving up.

Journey Progress: 22,00h/100h 25.09.2016: 0 sessions 26.09.2016: 0 sessions 27.09.2016: 0 sessions 28.09.2016: 0 sessions 29.09.2016: 0 sessions 30.09.2016: 0 sessions 01.10.2016: 0 sessions 02.10.2016: 0 sessions Battlelog summary: Not very proud of how the week went. I had an intense workweek filled with a tight workshop schedule, preparing my own lecture and socializing events in the evening. It was much, but it was very cool. However, due to this, tuesday and wednesday went from 06:00AM until midnight with only few and short breaks. Monday wasn't much better. I had great fun this week and love so many things about my job, but I felt like my level up goals suffered from it this week. Perhaps I could have made at least 15 minutes those days despite of all that was going on but I didn't feel like meditation would have helped to relax during my short timebreaks this week and would have added more strain on top instead. Hm so yeah. I'll give myself a day and will figure out how to proceed properly now.

Welcome dribilie You know how it goes: First you conquer the wasteland and then you continue questing in the outside world. There's less Nuka Cola Quantum here, but it can still be rad as hell. See you around!

Welcome Barghest Sounds like you'll feel right at home with the warrior guild here See you around!

Well, you could start by having one chocolate free day in the week and experiment with substitutes (grapes, oranges and clementines are back in season, soon. Tea sweetened with stevia. hot water with honey, awesome fruit or herbal tea,...) Perhaps something like week 1 one day without chocolate, week 2 two days without chocolate etc. ? That would give you some leeway to experiment every week on what works for you. By the end of the four weeks you would've managed 10 days without and may have made some good experiences with healthier substitutes (as well as the experience that you can do a few days without giving in to chocofever). I'm rather bad with moderation, too. If you have a good emergency plan, going cold turkey may also something worth trying I'd say. I personally find it easier than moderation, especially when you have a substitute ready just in case.

Journey Progress: 22,00h/100h 24.09.2016: 0,75 hours of meditation (1 session) Battle log summary: Got more time in but the sitting was very unconcentrated. Meditation feels drab these days. Which is less about meditation but what I bring to it. When I sit down with thoughts like "there is so much stuff I want to do right today" "there's so much I want to accomplish but now i'm loosing time from meditation" then that is going to reflect how I perceive the sitting and how easy it is to concentrate. This translates to all kinds of things: If I do something without clear intention, without standing behind it, without a clear "why", how can I expect great results? Well I can't. And that is something about not just about motivation (which is shortlived) but intention and vision, too. These things are not permanent but they too fade over time if one doesn't intentionally take the time to recommit and keep that fire burning. Good news is my bronchitis is almost gone so I may return to cardio soon again.

Journey Progress: 21,25h/100h 23.09.2016: 0,25 hours of meditation (1 session) Battle log summary: Had family visit and didn't plan ahead enough so I only managed 0,25 hours. Should have woken up earlier to get more time in.

Journey Progress: 21,00h/100h 22.09.2016: 0,5 hours of meditation (1 session) Battle log summary: Unconcentrated sitting.

Your Questlist is awesome! I see a slight risk of overextending but give it a go and aim for the sky! It will definately give a lot of room to learn and grow so i'm cheering for you!

Journey Progress: 20,50h/100h 21.09.2016: 0,5 hours of meditation (1 session) Battle log summary: Okay sitting.

Welcome to the rebellion!

Journey Progress: 20,00h/100h 20.09.2016: 0,5 hours of meditation (1 session) Battle log summary: 20%. Man, it's still a long way, but's been a very good lesson so far. I enjoy the challenge even with its ups and downs as it really is a challenge where I learn more about myself and have opportunity to grow. Sitting has been quite noisy today, but especially because of that it was good that I sat down! Couple of pointers for adjustment: 1. Meditating once I get home is working better for setting up the habit and meditation quality. Get home, change clothes, make tea, light incense and then just go (before turning on the pc or cooking etc.). 2. Other things that drag meditation down: Things I give attention to without actually receiving anything back to justify it. I've left some fb groups and duties (like free statistics support) because they are time wasters or immensively thankless (free statistics support). There's nothing against giving attention to things that improve my life, the life of others or both, but I feel like it's better to seek new and more emotionally rewarding ways to practice kindness and compassion for me atm. Stuff that is more align with the way I want to live my life. 3. Meditate regardless of how the day went so far. I'm pretty good with this so far (if I may say so myself *huehue*). I reduce my time a bit on bad days, but am usually pretty ok with 30 minute sessions now. Getting up to regular 45min sessions feels quite doable. Looking forward to the next days

Awww <3 I just gave you a nudge. Any plans for the next challenge yet?

Journey Progress: 19,50h/100h 19.09.2016: 0,5 hours of meditation (1 session) Battle log summary: Okay, no logging late from now on. Sitting was alright though.

Journey Progress: 19,00h/100h 18.09.2016: 0,75 hours of meditation (1 session) Battle log summary: Calm session that made me smile. Considering that the last sessions were rather tough it's quite amusing how quickly that can change

You did it! Congrats!

Journey Progress: 18,25h/100h 17.09.2016: 0,75 hours of meditation (1 session) Battle log summary: Chaotic sitting. Lots of racing thoughts, turbulent feelings and so on. A bit peace of mind would be preferable but alas! Also posting late. I'm seeing that I get that in order again.

Welcome Akari I hope your apprenticeship is going well so far and that you can leave the past behind. In germany, people often have this idea that one's vita should be flawless in order to have a future. It's something I used to find scary. Nowadays I find it just laughable. I had a similar fresh start like yours several years ago and it was one of the best decisions of my life So congrats on your decision to make this change, i'm sure it'll be worthwhile Regulary hanging around forums is a great way to improve one's english skills so you've already made the first step! I can also recommend reading books in english. Steven's book is well written and certainly a good start there, too. I think Steven's book will give you a pretty good idea which guild may suit you. The Rebel class is a solid choice if you are undecided (you can always change guilds later on.) See you around! Tyrgal

Journey Progress: 17,50h/100h 16.09.2016: 0,50 hours of meditation (1 session) Battle log summary: Posting a bit late. My throat is getting better and the coughing is a bit better now.

In my book, you are able to achieve just as much or even much more than the other rebels around here. It's up to you. Physical Fitnessgoals are just one category of many that rebels may choose to work on. There's a vast number of ways to embark on your journey, to challenge yourself and to level up! So welcome to the rebellion!

Journey Progress: 17,00h/100h 15.09.2016: 0,50 hours of meditation (1 session) Battle log summary: Not much to say today. Approaching 20% soon tough

Journey Progress: 16,50h/100h 14.09.2016: 0,75 hours of meditation (1 session) Battle log summary: Good and quiet sitting. I noticed I was very easily distracted during the sitting and switched to meditating on impermanence. It was a nice and soothing experience. Sometimes watching the breath can feel tedious to watch for people or they get distracted. Impermanence is a wonderful thing to consider then - unfortunately, most people nowadays don't get this kind of meditation taught by life-style meditation teachers. However, if one experiences that every breath could be the last, the breath turns from something boring or tedious to something one wants to cherish and spend time with before it's gone forever. So. Good sitting.