Stellakin

Theeee chaaallenge begiiiiiiinsss I can not wait to see how I progress, as well as all of my fellow rebels! Feeling great about having taken the first steps in my journey! I've also had some reflection since yesterday regarding my heart issues. Having read over and over my medical files and asked my GP a bunch of questions, it seems that yes, my heart is doing some strange things, but that the defect itself isn't in my heart. Ie. I don't have too many electrical pathways. I don't need a surgery. So yes my heart is acting strangely - but the source of those issues must be elsewhere, ie. exhaustion from something else, hormonal issues from somewhere else. So whilst the issue at hand could be anywhere in my body, I now know that when I feel tired and faint, I won't have a heart attack if I allow myself to push through it a little (which I was warned against before) This means that if I make sure to take things nice and steady, I can indeed begin pushing myself to do the exercise I want. Surfing? No longer off limits but must wait for a day where I feel strong. Bodyweight exercises? They'll tire me out quicker than the average person but doing them will not put me at risk anymore. Jogging or running? Might be crap at it since my body and muscles are so exhausted, but will not give me a heart attack. Yes there are the scary words in the mix; "chronic" this and, of course, the Big "C" word. It could be that. It could be so much less than that. I cant let the unknown be scary. At the end of the day, yes it causes me to be tired but I can take control of that even a little now; if I feel faint, the worst that can happen is I faint. That is a bucketload better than "the worst thing that can happen is cardiac arrest" I am going to look on the bright side. I haven't been freed entirely, but my mood is essentially just: I am going to begin walking. Jogging if I feel up to it. I am going to go swimming in the ocean, take my board, see what happens. I am going to start doing push-ups and what not, see how that goes. Even if I do one and then fall in a heap on the floor. I am going to be happy; no sickness or condition is going to take away what makes me "me". And whilst I haven't a clue what on earth is wrong with my body, I am going to just let this blissful ignorance take over for a little while. Because the future can hold whatever answer it wants, but I have the only answer I needed today; "Yes, you can push yourself moderately; just be mindful of what your body tells you" Low down; "if it makes you tired, carry on. If it makes you very tired, you can carry on. If it gives you discomfort, faintness or pain..." then STAHP. Okay, he didn't say STAHP. But you get me. And I can live with that, for now. Thanks for the support guys. Lets see how it goes.

Hehe. Hi there, I'm Stella. Welcome to the rebellion! Woah, a helicopter mechanic? That sounds so intriguing! I bet that was such an interesting job. I can only imagine how you'd get into doing something like that. Ahh, 9 pounds? I was just under that and my mother will never let me forget what I put her through, haha! Anywho, those seem like some great start-out goals, especially allowing yourself a little room for "whoopsie-daisy" days (we all have 'em). Although hopefully you'll still squeeze in some time for playing Fallout 4 (am-a-zing choice in games, by the way)! I like to treat myself after a day of adventuring and exploring by snuggling up in my seahawks blankie and doing the very same in the world of Skyrim Really hope to see you around on the boards! Best of luck! Your shield-sister, Stella

@Rosie's Riveter HAPPY CHALLENGE DAY INDEED! yeah, I completely agree; I love how pumped everybody is for their challenge; its such an infectious energy. But I hope that this will really come in handy when we all have those down-days, or slip-up and need a teency bit of encouragement from their fellow rebels

But in all seriousness, I could natter for days. I'm just so addicted to this bloody site, haha!

That photo.. just... wow... But seriously, kudos to you. That is some ninja-secret agent-superhero sh*t right there! I am so impressed. You're awesome. Those are some real fitness goals right there.

Thank you! And it begins tomorrow too, eep!

Going to write this down asap for the times when stubborn, future me tries to let myself off the hook by saying "but healthy recipes are sooooo difficuuuult"

Oh, eek! *hugs* I really hope that it all works out! Glad that the people from your enterprise are understanding though, haha! I'm hoping to get a new apartment soon too and man, the search can be difficult. Everything within my price range gets snagged up so quickly! Haha

Yup! So if all goes well, could definitely be on the table

Thank you, Akari. That was actually kind of comforting to hear. I hope I'll have answers soon, or at least a direction to go in. How did that apprenticeship search go, by the way?

Thank you, both of you! I just hate being in the dark, ya'know? Essentially I'm being sent to and from doctors and specialists in every field imaginable, all of which regard me with a kind of "ooh I feel so sorry for you and I'm also hugely confused by this medical enigma" haha! I've made a decision. I want to treat my body like a temple; put the right stuff into it, reduce any and all toxins, do consistent exercise, sleep at a good time; I haven't got a clue what "video game boss" I could be up again at the end of the day. I want to be well-equipped to deal with it. May or may not adjust my challenge quickly to compensate for that, haha..

So I wasn't going to post today, partly because my mind's a bit jumbled, but @PhysicsObeysMe, your comment reminded me that I probably ought to; after all, this thread is here for accountability, to put myself out there no matter what. Therefore... My appointment showed that my heart situation is going to continue, but that there are huge implications in my health elsewhere in the body atop this; basically the heart illness persists but is causing only about 20% of my symptoms. On the negative side, that means something else is causing 80% of my life-debilitating symptoms - and it could be anything. Except not anything, because almost every common or mild sickness was ruled out before they worked out to check my heart. There are a lot of scary words in the mix now and I've been rushed from scan to scan. My options now are; could be bad. Or could be very, very bad. Or it could, I am hoping and praying and crossing my fingers, be something silly that was overlooked and will magically be cured overnight. Maybe. I hope.. Struggling to stay optimistic at the moment despite how I usually do, so might not be on as much tonight and tomorrow. I have an appointment on Monday to just sit down, talk about all the scary options, and arrange where on earth to go from here. Wish me luck guys! I'll be back to my strong-spirited, happy self in a few days. Promise. x

Hey there! Sorry to hear that you're not feeling so great; but just think; you haven't gone back to square one again! More like square three or four. You may have put back on another 35kg, but that's still 25kg lower than you were a few years back! Sometimes progress happens in a lovely, satisfying upward curve... But the other ninety nine percent of the time it happens in jagged bursts, going up then down then up again. Even the best of us have experienced that. But just remember; you're still so much bloody further along than the past version of you, so don't feel too down! Personally, I think that overall, you've done pretty damned well! Glad to see you're respawning and wish you all the best in the world! Ooh, which 5k programme? I tried couch-to-5k a few years back when I first jumped into running and loved it. Your shield-sister, Stella x

When I'm running or free-running, video game soundtracks rock. No way to feel like the almighty dragonborn than to have the appropriate songs booming in your ears!

Also intrigued; I have absolutely zero experience with boxing or anything of the likes but in the future I would love to have, like another member mentioned, an "Agent's of Shield training" kind of thing going; in my mind I see visions of myself hitting and kicking a punchbag like a badass, but in reality I'd probably just take a few swings and wander off feeling defeated and clueless... Hope you get some responses soon!

That would be so, so horrible. Jeez. I can't even imagine. I mean, a rabbit; whether you suspect it to be fake or not, you think "either way, eh"; but dark figures? Were you scared or did you, somewhere in your mind, just know that they were tired-induced?

You, my friend, have some great perspective. I know myself so well by now that you'd think I'd work out not to over-excel myself only to crash and burn, but yet... This is one of those posts that I wish I could bookmark somehow, so I could come back to it when trying to make goals - and remind myself that slow and steady wins the race. Going fast and tripping over your own feet by rushing, not so much, haha. Best of luck on your quest to sort your going-to-sleep and wake-up times! That's a great idea. I mean, after all, waking up on the right foot can give you a different perspective on facing the day; I sure know that if I woke up nice and early, I'd be more likely to exercise than if I just said "yup, going to do that tomorrow" and hoped for a good day.

@Athaclena, I am so sorry but I just had to... But in all seriousness, I'm glad you found what worked for you! For me, I tend to make lovely, organized little plans and then completely disregard them, instead screaming at the top of my lungs "FIX ALL THE THINGS" (well, metaphorically, of course). Unsurprisingly, that never really works out well for me, so as much as I'd love to make mounds and mounds of progress with each challenge, I'm going to try and take baby steps and then build up habits overtime, like you said!

Naw, thank you! Not beginning officially until the 25th but trying to start a little early to make it more of a habit beforehand, haha.

Hey there! I'm Stella. Welcome to the community! I've always been skinny and now that I've found myself in the midst of some heart complications I've wasted away further, so I know what you mean about people saying "oh no, must be so hard to be *too* thin" haha! Nobody means bad by it though, of course. But hey, I can relate! Hm... a clove of garlic? As an italian I love garlic but even I would find that hard to stomach. My immune system is *down for maintenance* at the moment due to my health problems, but have you tried talking to your doctor? Feeling faint when your blood sugar dips could also be slightly low blood pressure (which I get sometimes, I think a lot of underweight or borderline-underweight people do), or anaemia. On the other hand if you want to try garlic for enhancing your immune health you can get plain tablets with nothing but ground garlic in them, or tasteless garlic; I think most chemists sell them - just incase you have as weak a stomach as mine, although if you're finding it easy then kudos to you!! Anyways, looking forwards to seeing you around and hope you find what you're looking for! Yours, Stella

Did you say... zombie apocalypse? But in all seriousness, your goals are great and you've made a lot of progress already! To second PhysicsObeysMe, that is some pretty amazing weight loss! Following to see more awesomeness

Thank you, @VintageCustard! And phew, so I'm not the only one! So another short entry today because I am so bloody sleepy; * What even is energy? * On the plus side, had a pamper day! * Restarted Black Flag for the lolz; forgot what an amazing game this is! The graphics still hold up! * Currently look like a ghost with my hair-mask, face mask, lip mask and under-eye masks on * My dog took one look and ran away.

Haha. I'm Stella, fellow newbie. Welcome to the Rebellion! Oooh, golden retriever x lab x great dane? I bet he (or she) is a handful! Haha! I work with dogs and I've never come across one of those before! I have two spaniels myself; my little princess and my baby boy, so if you've "lost all control of your life" then count me in! Those sound like great goals to me. I'm hoping to build some muscle over the next few months (mainly through bodyweight exercises) and am also including yoga in my challenge! Hope to see you around the forums! Your neighbourhood dork-next-door, Stella

@Bookish Badger That is possibly the most useful thing I have read in a very long time. *Must remember to somehow bookmark that so I can come to it when I get "FIXEVERYTHINGNOW" syndrome