LD500

That's it Butternut. You have it. Takes a micro second - lasts a lifetime Thanks for the kind words - I am on it.

Just testing something.

Hi all, Is it ok to move to this forum - it seems more suited to me. The original forum seems to have slowed down. Many thanks in advance LD

Thanks Butternut, SORRY TO ALL FOR THE LENGTH - SORRY TO THE MEN THIS IS BORING FEMALE FEELINGS. Yes, I will do that - that's a very good idea. What really annoys me is that she will prevent me from getting to where I wish to be with all this mourning and stress and communication - but off she goes to have her hair bleached and trimmed every six weeks. Because she MUST. Then when I turn up at the house.........I get THE SCAN. Head to toe scan of haircut, nails, clothes and weight.......after seven hours on a plane and then a taxi. The scan! Believe me - I have never known a good scan. Then there is the "never mind, dear, tea?" With a look of pity. She has always said how I look reflects on her. So I joined so that I could go back and for once feel equal to my beautiful sister in law. (blonde - size 8 of course) when I have to be back to dress up for the anniversary of the death dinner. Mother a size 10. Blonde hair cut and trimmed to within an inch of its life every 6 weeks, leather jacket, beautiful clothes and.............................me a balloon. Now I have laid my reasons bare. I need to shock them when I go back to win back any credence. Wealth, lifestyle and clothes = success. Fat and out of shape = no self esteem and is to be pitied. Yes, I know everyone will say "do it for yourself" but in a way it will be. Just its their war, their rules.............and I have to win this time. This may sound twisted - but if I look as good as them (figure hair, nails and clothes) then I reassert myself and I get my way. I am equal. I thought I was paranoid but the better dressed you are the better you are treated. My family is entirely visual. My son has a beautiful Jamaican girlfriend for the last two years but won't take her around to see the family. You can guess why. I wish I had been born into some rambling, noisy Italian family. Lots of hugs and laughter. Not told to smarten up and wear make up every day. This is why I married a Greek. Now imagine my Mother in a charity shop sorting second hand clothes. lol So I am on a mission - I want to walk back in for May 14th. Pass The Scan.........and do you know how I will know if I win? They will say nothing! There will be a palpable silence or .................at the very most................I will be asked the price of my shoes or handbag. That is when I know I have won. I just have a lot to do. This must be SO boring for the men - sorry. . I do this by May and I will be back here laughing, happy and they will wonder where the doormat went. Thanks for the message Butternut........and sorry its long. At least I got it off my chest. LD

Thanks Fleaball, Thanks for all your kindness. I will make a day in the week to check in as its only fair on everyone else in the group - then build on that. I find small changes can be fitted in easier than large ones. Probably at the weekend. Things have got to change because if I don't start the catalyst this will never cease. In fact it will become the new norm. We are all advising seeing friends and neighbours who are widows (she seems to have annoyed a lot of them), we have tried the puppies and kittens route, there is no way she would work as a volunteer in a charity shop..........in fact that's laughable to even think about. The Dr has said she should talk to people and he carefully missed the word therapy. But NO. She won't even play scrabble with the neighbours as she does not know how to play. Doesn't like puzzles either which the widow next door loves. Basically she will not put herself out for other people. However, that is not new. I should have seen that coming. Best wishes to everyone and I will be back to write about what the group is up to and not my problems - which must be VERY boring. Very sorry for being awol. LD

Thanks Fleaball, She is English and its a moral disgrace to say you need help. Therapy would be akin to going out in her undies, no bra with a rose between your teeth and tiara on your head in a monsoon. Old school, posh and thinks the world revolves around her. A life where she did nothing but "be a wife and look nice" and now has nothing "to be". I got out quick and emigrated asap. I am coping. I might have joined too soon before I had sorted a lot out and I don't want people to think I am weak willed. So I have to deal with it - but I would like to say although I am not posting, don;t give up on me as I am doing the exercises and eating right. Its just all a bit overwhelming to write to everyone as well as my family and keep my health. Fleaball - you are a wonder and you see a weakness, you write, you enquire and I thank you for it,

I am a doormat - walked all over!

I am so sorry to be awol and thank you for contacting me. My Mother has been very down since Dad died last May and is leaning on me more heavily every day, They were married for 60 years - even had a card from the Queen which she has framed. I live abroad and seem to be her email therapist. My brother live 20mins from her and she doesn't like to bother him as she knows I will "understand". Husband has new job and works 12 hours a day and I seem to be everyones doormat. THERE is no time for myself from emails to whatsapp to texts. Thank you Fleaball - thank you

To The Spider, fleaball and Milo Thank you all for your kind words - they are very much appreciated. LD

Many thanks to you both for your kind reply and your lovely welcome. We lost both fathers in the first six months of 2016, My Mother is 82 and has never had to pay a bill (apart from buying clothes on a credit card) - so that was a huge learning curve to get her to learn to look after the fundamentals like a bank account ..........and pay the utilities. The Greek Mother in law lives in the UK for 50 years but can't speak a word of English and relies on the other son who lives with her and is deaf. The stress took a toll on my health and this year I have to get back some emotional and physical strength. I hope your year is a good one and you are both happy with your goals. Best of luck and again, thanks again for the welcome.

Fraid the photo is not on the phone - what if I was lost and someone found the phone and I put THAT photo up as missing. Can you imagine it on the news! GROSS! Deleted that then thought I should have saved it on my pc! No worries I will look just as bad tomorrow. There will be no great change overnight. I will take another photo No sweet stuff foods today. Urgh First day must be the worst and the cake is calling.

lol - thanks for the reply. I am think the no goodies bit is my downfall...................I have stuffed the biscuits / cookies in the fridge so that they are not so nice.

Good Morning, Newbie as of this morning and would greatly appreciate buddies to be accountable to. First time on a quest - I want to bring down body fat and start to lift weights and drop gluten (starting with bread) - generally I need to tone up and not see the fat. Would love to see some muscle on my arms.Preferably without injury! Would welcome a thread or pm.

Just joined............. Feel huge, ugly and frumpy. Something has to change. 2016 was the pits - everything went wrong. so this is a New Year for me. Would like to see a change before March 12th as it will be my birthday present to myself. 1) Take a photo of myself (urgh) and keep it on my phone every Sunday (I just hope I never lose the phone). 2) Cut out all bread, biscuits, cake, sweets as of today 3) Mon / Wed / Sat - Elliptical trainer - 1km and 10 weights / 10 squats / 10 lunges - real small I know - but I think that will be my limit - I can always add more. 4) Body Fat = 36.8% on my app - aim for 35% March 12th. Week 1 Sun - 1km / 10 lifts x 4kg each arm / 10 squats / 10 lunges Tues Thurs BF =

Hi to all I came across this site yesterday and found it very helpful. I am unfit, overweight, lumpy, frumpy, spotty (do I need this as well!) and sugar addicted. To be fair to myself the last year has been one to forget due to deaths. I have found solace in the kitchen and on the sofa. So although I am late to this challenge - here are my aims until Feb 4th. 1) Take a photo of myself and keep it on my phone every Sunday (I just hope I never lose the phone). 2) Cut out all bread as of today 3) 3 times a week - warm up on trainer / 10 squats / 10 lunges / 10 weight lifts. (I think that will be my limit but I would rather commit to less than give up) 4) Reading Body Fat = 36.8% on my app - aim for 36% by Feb 4th.