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Defining

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  1. Started tidying today. The new meal plan makes me feel like I'm always eating, but never full. Isn't protein supposed to make you feel more full?!? Blargh. Might play video games for an hour before bed. ____________ ____________ Jan 20 - You are growing into consciousness, and my with for you is that you feel no need to constrict yourself to make other people feel comfortable. - Ta-Nehisi Coates
  2. Food prep is done - I'm happy with all of the recipes for now (I think), and they don't actually take that long to do. Didn't do much tidying today, I chickened out. But I have finished all my books, and I refuse to get more until I've started. So that should work.... right? ____________ ____________ Jan 19 - The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do. - Sarah Ban Breathnach
  3. This may be totally out of left field, but have you looked at different work options? Eg. I've been browsing through technical writing remote jobs recently, and it seems like there are a TON out there. Could something like that, and/or editing, be a good option to consider? I only ask because your job sounds like a horrendous environment.
  4. New/old physio has a few new ideas. Fingers crossed! Also no tidying today (fail), I got distracted. I didn't even do the timer thingy. BUT, I did socialise a bit, and took care of the dogs, and kinda sorta ate like an adult. Got food and did half the prep (again: distracted). Is it weird that I'm a bit excited to get started dumping all my crap into a pile tomorrow though? ____________ ____________ Jan 18 - It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end. - Ursula K. Guin Today marks reaching 5% of the progression of the year.
  5. I have a physio appointment tomorrow, with the first one I saw when I was initially recovering from the accident (insurance isn't covering this stuff anymore, so I may as well work with whomever I prefer). Will be interested to hear what her impressions are, to see if she'll recommend continuing with the same strengthening stuff, and/or look at other potential causes. Even if she says 'no idea, we could play around with it but this might be your new normal', I'll feel better for having asked for a second opinion. I did zero tidying today, but Sundays are pretty much always a write off anyway. One of the things I've been contemplating is the practice of thanking the inanimate objects in your life for their service (either as a daily practice, and/or at the end of their useful life). It's a lovely way of integrating gratitude in your life, in a way that might bypass my natural resistance/resentment that I've struggled with in other gratitude practices. Worth a shot, I suppose. I think I might also like to try making Monday a prep day. So will give that a shot this week. My time audit only made clear how much I've been avoiding reality; so what that tells me is that I have plenty of time (which I already knew), and losing time in the day is just a matter of reminding myself of reality (which sounds decidedly unfun). One other thing I've been debating trying is to try using an egg timer for more than just 'get up and stretch' reminders. So, every hour I have to do, say, 10-20 reps of an exercise on my list, for at least 12hrs a day. I've been thinking of these, but they feel a little biased towards lower body right now: Bear Crawl | Turkish Get Up | Supermans | Donkey Kick/Clam/Knee Circles | Push Ups | Band Pull-Aparts/No-Moneys | Reverse Plank | Reverse Lunge | Lateral Lunge | Dead Bugs | Bird Dogs | Ass to Grass BW Squats I'm officially at the 'throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks' stage of 'no idea how to make constructive changes'. Guess we'll just see how it goes! ____________ ____________ Jan 17 - I have decided to stick with love. Hate it to great a burden to bear. - Martin Luther King Jr.
  6. I read the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up today. Which fulfilled a goal of mine to read something new, as well as trying to jump start my brain. The point about 'doing a little bit at a time doesn't work' really resonates, since I also read through my old challenges today and can very clearly see that in a lot of ways I haven't made ANY progress since I joined in 2017. The work/job/life decision stuff is super stressing me out right now. I might take a break... and instead make a plan for a more drastic 'deep clean' of all of the stuff in the house that's definitively mine. Work is quiet right now, the dogs are doing well, and I need a big change to shake things up. So.... konmari my space for the rest of this challenge? ____________ ____________ Jan 16 - Try and fail, but don't fail to try. - Stephen Kaggwa
  7. For sure! My problem is that I tend to stall on the reality of any given 'shit sandwhich' that exists with ANY job. This week I've actually been listing the BAD things I can tolerate, rather than focusing on the 'dream job' - my though process is that I can find some interesting parts in any jobs, but there are some tradeoffs that I just can't deal with. But I'll try to see if I can figure out if there's anything in the back of my mind that I've been rejecting before even considering seriously first. ____________ ____________ Jan 15 - Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th. - Dame Julie Andrews
  8. Reading, a bit of work, some extra dog time, and then more reading. No wonder I don't get much done. ____________ ____________ Jan 14 - Don't count the days; make the days count. - Muhammad Ali
  9. You are 1000% correct on all counts. My mother isn't trying to sabotage me, she just wants me to find something I'll enjoy and can keep up with - my brain just twists that sometimes, for no good reason. And my blah feelings are ABSOLUTELY related to my work (I'm a realtor, not trying to be coy about the industry, which I realised I didn't mention in my last post) - but changing the job kind of feels like moving a marble (job) attached to a bowling ball (everything else): it's easy to wiggle the marble a bit, but tough to actually pull to a new position. As for the confidence in my abilities to do other stuff - I do hugely appreciate that, truly. I don't necessarily share that confidence though, since historically I've leaned on my intelligence to the detriment of developing literally any study skills or self discipline. It's really that core lacking skill that I struggle against, in many/most areas of my life.
  10. Oh, interesting. So they're like a zero drop compromise between running shoes and full fledged barefoot wear? Nifty!
  11. "Starting strong is good. Finishing strong is epic." - Robin Sharma
  12. So. I, uh. I read for about 8hrs today. Apparently that's where my time is going? But it's not even useful reading, it's just self-soothing with stuff I've read multiple times already. I'm still in limbo for work stuff; torn between the 'easy money' with a job I hate, vs doing something else entirely and running the risk that I'll hate it just as much, with less lifestyle flexibility to go along with it. Even to retrain for something I THINK I'll enjoy better is probably just going to be trading one shit sandwich for another. Also family bullshit. I'd say that maybe I just need to change up my environment/rearrange stuff, to prevent me from falling into the same habits which cause me to lose half a day - but I've done that so many times now that I know it only works for a few weeks. I like the idea of 'following a bad habit with a good one', but sometimes it feels like a real effort just to get myself up and moving (or trying to do something useful, like decluttering), and my brain just kind of short circuits a bit. Breaking things into smaller pieces doesn't work. Deadlines definitely don't work. Bribing or rewarding myself doesn't work. Trying to use affirmations or identity statements hasn't worked thus far. Setting a 5min timer for 'that's all you need to do' didn't work. Telling myself that these things are necessary for future happiness doesn't work. I've already curtailed virtually all of my social media usage. Putting money 'at risk' (ie. spending on stuff to get me to use it) hasn't done anything. Competition means nothing to me. Joining social groups didn't help. And I technically have most of my 'wants' on my lifestyle list, so it's a real struggle to try to motivate myself to improve to reach some ephemeral 'goal' for the future, when comfort & complacency has created a seat so ingrained that it feels like a giant beanbag chair you can't get out of. Brainstorming is clearly needed, to try to determine new methods of change. Change is necessary because this isn't sustainable long-term, I constantly have this feeling that something is going to fall down and smash into my life, since I have so few tenable pillars of stability. I'm unhappy with my body, my home, my work, my hobbies (or lack thereof right now, due to lack of focus), and I'm even only doing the bare minimum for my dogs right now (though they are very well taken care of and in good spirits). ____________ ____________ Jan 13 - To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life. - Robert Louis Stevenson
  13. I'm not actually quite sure what keeps throwing my days off. It feels like I always start out well and then somehow look at the clock and it's 3pm and I don't know what I've been doing. So I'm adding a task for week 2; I'm going to do a time audit every hour for at least three days this week. Belated reminder for me: Week 2: - BUJO and check ins - C25k 2x, weights 2x - spend at least 90min decluttering - go shopping and try meal prep for at least 3 days of food - morning Sun Salutations, whenever I wake up - bedtime alarm - TBD, re: work ____________ ____________ Jan 12 - Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are. - Marianne Williamson *note for myself to think about: this is actually exactly why I struggled so much with the last time I tried gratitude journaling - when I think of ALL of the awesome things in my life (and there are a lot) I find myself just feeling resentful at the 'obligation' to feel grateful (which is messed up, I know) - so I need to think about why that might be, and how I can change my perspective on it*
  14. +1 for steeping away from the underpants; perfect is the enemy of done/good, and when it comes to nutrition there IS no such thing as perfect anyway. You experiment to see what works best for YOU, and go from there. I'll also add that there's nothing wrong using supplements if the whole food sources aren't working for you. Just don't rely on them for EVERYTHING. Speaking as someone who shares an interest in the minutia of nutrition and health, it's still worth it to just step back and let it ride for a bit. The more you delve into the nitty gritty of nutritional science, the more it becomes obvious that almost everything we know comes from 'best guess' conclusions from flawed studies. Which is just another reason not to worry about finding 'one true gospel' of food.
  15. Ok, Fri night - Mon night seem to consistently go off the rails. Task for tomorrow: try to figure out how to mitigate that. ____________ ____________ Jan 11 - Make a difference about something other than yourselves. - Toni Morrison
  16. Weekends. They kick my ass. ____________ ____________ Jan 09 - The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible. - Arthur C. Clarke ____________ ____________ Jan 10 - Confidence is half of victory. - Yiddish proverb (hot dang if that one doesn't hit home today)
  17. Thanks guy! I forgot to post last night (family dinner and drama, UGH). ____________ ____________ Jan 08 - The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Ellen Parr
  18. Guys, don't cook. It's dangerous. I splashed hot oil on my freaking face (which is a first!). Not recommended. Plus side: it missed my eye, and I don't think it's going to blister. So. In other news, today was simultaneously busy and absolutely unproductive. I did start of a list of things I do/don't want for life/work though - which is surprisingly difficult! ____________ ____________ Jan 07 - You can't be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute. - Tina Fey
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