Defining

Still cold today?

21 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

In calendar time yes, but did you factor in energy (mental and physical), unexpected headaches, bro time...? (enjoy btw )

Work/mother drama:

Why is it cold out again? I resent it being cold again. I am, also, perhaps, a bit overwhelmed by confronting my piles of stuff. It's like confronting yourself naked in the mirror, but with more sorting required. 

__________ __________
Feb 23 - They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. - Andy Warhol

__________ __________
Feb 24 - Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. - Suzy Kassem
Aaaaand that's 15% of the year gone.

Ooooh, zombie run! I've tried to start that before but couldn't get into it.

Also, don't put protein powder in hot water. Spoiler: you will never get it to dissolve.

21 hours ago, elisanns said:

🌟I kept catching myself when it came to posture today. Any tips for reminding myself (especially when standing/walking) would be appreciated!

I use a shoulder brace for a few hours each day - it feels like a dumb, 'as seen on TV' thing, but it's a constant physical reminder. Just be sure to keep your chin tucked in too! Shoulders back doesn't help much with head forward still.

You could try to DIY jerky to use less salt? Also, ask your doctor on their thoughts about salt replacements (which are typically potassium salts instead of sodium chloride). 

Could you prep/freeze breakfast sandwiches for yourself ahead of time?

On 2/19/2022 at 9:17 AM, 'BoutThatActionBoss said:

I'm interested in your point though, do you totally stay away from things? And have you done it for awhile? I sometimes wonder if that will be ultimately what I have to do. 

So, for example, for some people it's easier to simply not buy the treat when they're grocery shopping, rather than trying to regulate their consumption on a daily basis with the availability of it at home. When there's a medical/comfort reason to avoid something, it's often easier to cross something off the list entirely (eg. dairy, gluten, etc.).

If you've managed to stick with 'one day a week you can have a bit' though, that sounds like a good strategy!

Something else you could try: when you eat something that's a 'treat', hold it in your mouth for longer. Chew it a bit more. You might be surprised how much less appetising some of those foods are once you have it in your mouth long enough to taste everything, rather than only registering the sweet/salt/fat/carb initial impression.

5 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

 And now I'm what - a manager of all things??! Eww. 🤮 😆 

Thing wrangler is a cooler title.

I'm sorry you had a shit day though. 

33 minutes ago, Teros said:

?

 

 

Not really sure how to differentiate something like that.  How would you?

 

I mean, when I was 240 I jumped on a bed with one leg like a frigging cat and I had to pause and thought 'how the fuck did I do that so easily?'  Or like when I grabbed a heavy chair by the side and just carried it one-handed.  I didn't realize until after the fact that my grip-strength was crazy-good compared to where I was.  For me, that's sort of what being at 240 was like: I was constantly surprised by what I was able to do and so there was a steady stream of confidence. 

https://blog.ted.com/10-examples-of-how-power-posing-can-work-to-boost-your-confidence/

Those things though are other actionable goals, completely independent of your weight - eg. energy levels, jump height, grip strength, etc.

On 2/17/2022 at 8:50 PM, Jupiter said:

But also, you may not have gotten in all the hours you wanted, but sounds like you still got a lot done anyway. Sounds like a success to me.  

Suuuuure, spin it positive why don't you. 

On 2/18/2022 at 7:57 AM, Mad Hatter said:

No it doesn't (well maybe you feel superior for a second?). But on the other hand, are these people you want to connect with anyway?

 

Friendly reminder that your goal is bonkers.  

Not so much 'connect with', but the 'work with' part is kind of unavoidable.  My goal might be bonkers for someone else. For me, it's a stretch, but not out of reach or even unreasonable in context of my daily routines and time availability. So the only thing stopping me from hitting it is ME.
 

On 2/20/2022 at 4:19 AM, Jean said:

Being ok with failure and applying kindness to oneself in order to move forward is: "Failure is what I've met but it isn't who I am. I can gather my bearings and I will figure out a way forward. Maybe that means taking some time off for myself, or scaling down my targets. Maybe it doesn't and what I really need is to bite the bullet and push on through the storm. It is all part of the realistic plan to move forward, let's get to it."

That's a lovely way to look at things.

On 2/21/2022 at 12:21 PM, KB Girl said:

On humanity's general dumbness- i feel you... but i do think that it will extend to yourself. Thinking about people in general (or specific people) like that often means you also think of yourself like that. 

Of course I think of myself like that. I do dumb stuff too sometimes. I'm scornful of myself when I don't accomplish basic things that I have no real barriers to achieving. So obviously that's not helpful. The phrase that keep circling in my head is 'how's that working for you?', and my answer is 'poorly'. Which means that it doesn't matter if I WANT to be more kind, I have to work on it regardless because it's just simply not working well to not be. TL;DR - need to change my outlook on people, because my current tendencies are not helpful 

Weird cyclical thoughts:

My bro is apparently flying in to visit next week, so I also need to block out some time to do a deeper clean of the house (he's allergic to dogs), and make sure there's space in the fridge for whatever cooking projects he'll want to get up to.  Fun fun.
 

__________ __________

Feb 19 - Happiness can exist only in acceptance. - George Orwell (Eric Arthur Blair)
__________ __________
Feb 20 - Just be yourself; there is no one better. - Taylor Swift

__________ __________
Feb 21 - Gray skies are just clouds passing over. - Edward Kennedy "Duke" Ellington

__________ __________
Feb 22 - Learning is the only thing the mind never exhausts, never fears, and never regrets. - Leonardo da Vinci

Love the goals! A few things  I noticed:

1) 'until end of challenge', and 'when I fall off, I fall way off'. A thought for you: what if you gave yourself 5 freebies per challenge? That way you can have the occasional treat within limits, rather than saying 'I'll be able to go back to this after the challenge'. What I have to do, personally, is just cut stuff out altogether - no deadlines, no 'untils', because I am terrible at moderation and for myself it's easier to just say 'no'. I'm not sure that's as helpful for you, but either might be worth considering.

2) tracking to lose weight - while it's a great option to get a better handle on where your calories are coming from, and yes weight loss comes from burning more calories than you consume... and setting weight loss goals can be great! But you can't control how quickly you lose weight - that's an outcome. What you CAN control are your actions. What if you set your goals by what you want to see in your tracking, rather than by gauging progress by weight loss? eg. 1g of protein per lb of bodyweight, and 4-6 veggie servings a day.

Dares for goals. Genius.

On 2/13/2022 at 11:47 PM, Stronkey Kong said:

And Ninja blender acquired! -- I drank four smoothies today. This thing is awesome and just obliterates anything I put into it. I also put 2.5 lbs of raw chicken breast with some walnuts, flax seeds, and yogurt. It turned it into a paste that looked like pink mashed potatoes. I used the meat paste to make some chicken breast patties to eat throughout the week. They cooked up nice in the skillet and were super tender and tasty.

After you've blended it, best practices would be to cook it right away - that way any bacteria that was on the surface of the meat isn't mixed in with the rest for very long before being exposed to heat.

23 hours ago, Stronkey Kong said:

 

Ugh. I'm at the point I have to stretch in the morning before I sit on the couch and drink my coffee... I guess this is joe morning stretch routines start 🤣...

 

... but seriously tho, this is how morning stretch routines start 😐

You can stretch your lower body whilst brushing your teeth, and upper body during the wait for hot water.

Huzzah for you! I see you taking steps to address soreness with some movement, AND anticipating challenges for the weekend (do you have any strategies to address that?). Well done.

There are also urban crampons, with more of a compromise 'chain' style, or mid-sole only cleats which help on some ice and are still ok on pavement.

22 hours ago, Jupiter said:

 

That is a very cool saying.  

 

 

I'm sorry about the tension headache. Though I'm not too surprised by the the thoracic muscles affecting it. As my previous doctor told me, "it's all connected," so. 

The full saying: 
 

It's totally all connected! But previously the only thing that prompted the same type of headache from manipulation were head/neck things. But yeah, all attached n stuff.


 

This challenge may inadvertently end up teaching me something else: being ok with failure.  This week is pretty much guaranteed not to hit the hours again, DAMMIT.

__________ __________
Feb 18 - What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us. - Henry David Thoreau

On 2/16/2022 at 2:11 PM, Teros said:

I have a therapist but haven't talked to him for a few months because it turned into monthly progress reports and had nothing to really talk about so if/when shit hits the fan, I fully intend on contacting him again.

 

Him and I don't get along and it's the house my mom bought and it's also a matter of fairness - I don't think he should be in my mom's house and me kicked out; even if there is financial strain for a while if the buy-out option is even and option (no fucking clue if it is at this point).

 

I was surprising myself constantly when I was under 240 lb.  I felt like I was the person I *should* be.  I socialized more.  I moved more.  I was more motivated.  I was happier.  Bad things that knocked me down, I was able to brush off much quicker; like I didn't dwell on any negative shit.  My base level of confidence was stupidly high. 

 

I know we've had convos about this outside of NF for a while and I'm not disagreeing with it being a big deal but I'm still having a hard time putting the cart before the horse - at least that's how it feels.

A lot of what you've mentioned here about your weight, your living circumstances, your work, etc. all seem like they might be worth talking about, IMO. But you know yourself best, as long as you're not minimising the challenges in your head: you deserve support!

I also 100% understand what you're saying about fairness. All of the points of Aquarri mentions above are worth considering. Of course it's a good idea to ensure that your sister's affairs are in order, but I've seen the aftermath of people in really tough situations - because they made financial decisions based on fairness, rather than what would be best for THEM long-term. Same as above; you know yourself best, but give yourself the liberty of considering other choices, just to test them out in your head at least before making any firm decisions.

RE: Weight loss - again, I totally get what you mean, but I'm wondering if any part of that was 'acting like someone under 240lb', rather than the actual weight? It's like when people talk about identity based goals/habit/affirmations; rather than focusing on outcomes that we can't control, you focus on 'faking it 'till you make it' kind of thing'.  You've listed socialising more, moving more, and being more resilient to negative stuff. What if you made THOSE things actionable habits/goals to focus on? I understand the health implications you've mentioned, but again as the estimable Aquarri has mentioned above, a lot of that is countered by the healthy lifestyle choices you're already making. In the meantime focusing on weight loss first, before things like getting work, when you can't actually control the outcome (only the habits), can potentially limit your future security.

Getting a job helps with your financial stability, encourages more regular social interaction, creates a natural schedule/structure to daily routines, and contributes to helping you feel competent in your chosen area of expertise. A horse can't carry as much as a cart - with the awesome goals you have for yourself, maybe having some extra room to carry stuff is worth it? Our bodies can affect our emotions by using certain postures and breathing techniques - eg. the 'superman' pose improves confidence. That's another form of 'cart before horse', that works in a really constructive way - enabling the tangible mechanisms available to us to influence our mindset a bit. It sounds like you have the capacity to pursue more than one goal at once, so maybe this is one you can prioritise for yourself, along with your weight loss efforts?

Again, I'm not meaning to speak out of turn, and if any of this isn't helpful (or is harmful), just let me know. One of the things I've always found most helpful on these forums is when people challenge our assumptions about ourselves. It's not always comfortable, but it's typically useful to reconsider the 'other viewpoint' - even if you ultimately still don't agree with it.

On 2/16/2022 at 12:51 PM, Mad Hatter said:

Chatted with the occupational health therapist about getting evaluated. You convinced me...

On 2/16/2022 at 5:25 AM, Bean Sidhe said:

rather out of spoons with the world to reply.  That sadly happens of late too often.

Thank you for the hug and support with everything.

Out of spoons when dealing with hard stuff is 100% relatable. You're dealing with lot, hugs are always available to you here!

On 2/15/2022 at 10:42 PM, Scaly Freak said:

 

Definitely not. The Pyromancy Flame of Anxiety has been in my challenges, in some form or another, since before Chapter 7. I didn't actually reframe it and name it until later, but that's how long I've known about it. (Had it all my life though.)  

 

 

The Genesys Core Rulebook  

Oh, yes, sorry, I wasn't super clear, I had meant the racing heart part. 😅 But I suppose it'd be hard to know that without previous using a tracker, so... still a dumb question on my part.

I was thinking to myself 'I've never even heard of that one', and then googled it and realised why! 🤣

So, real estate is kinda bananas right now? Uh, yeah, work is busy. So I'm going to need to be a bit more intentional about carving out time, as well as fitting in 'microdose' sessions of decluttering between stuff. That's good! Sometimes the best thing to do is to make yourself MORE busy, not less. Right?(!?)

I also had left YT on autoplay this morning while I was doing stuff, and it fell into a ninja warrior/pro climber rabbithole.  I think one of the reasons I was originally interested in a spartan race or similar was actually as a reason to develop more proportional strength to be able to hold my own weight. One of my friends is a big climber in his spare time, and I've never discounted the strength needed to do that kind of stuff. Outside the need to lose fat to improve ratios though, I think the reason I've always balked is because of the need to literally push through pain for things like grip strength. Just thinking aloud, maybe that's a good/safe way to push my comfort zones though? 

Physio dry needled along my thoracic spine today, which she's done a couple times before and I think it's helped (which is why we did it again). But today she went one segment higher, and I've had a raging tension headache all afternoon since. But I'm almost hoping that I can recreate that side effect again, because the headaches that I've had since the accident have been worse and more frequent than what I experienced before, AND it feels pretty damned similar. I wouldn't have expected thoracic muscles to affect that as much as the cervical stuff though. Interesting.

__________ __________

Feb 17 -  Luck is believing you're lucky. - Tennessee Williams (Thomas Lanier Williams III)

That sounds like a very useful dress rehearsal for the event itself! Practice makes perfect?

On anxiety:

On environmental design for relevant goals, non-urgent, ignore until/unless you're in the mood to look at phase 2 or 3 strategies:

On sodium intake (also can be ignored until/unless you're well into phase 2 or 3)

In other, totally unrelated news: what are you reading right now?