juliebarkley

I wish I could say that I came up with shiny fancy New Year's goals, but that would be a lie. What I HAVE realized is this:

- I will not start feeling less overwhelmed unless I deal with the causes of the overwhelm;

- I am terrible at time management;

- I am probably doing a lot of things that don't serve my ultimate goals;

- My life is going to change a lot once my son leaves home later this year;

- I have not really thought about what I want my life to look like for a while.

So I think, for this challenge, I need to deal with those things. I need to figure out what's really important to me. Start paring away things/commitments that don't fit in with where I want to be going so I can make room for things that will. What am I doing now that I shouldn't? What am I NOT doing that I should? Basically, I need to run a Level 50 process on my life again.

I'm going to be experimenting with this over this challenge to figure this out. Probably trying things and adjusting as needed.

For the beginning, I'm going to pay attention to what I do each day and how long I spend doing it, and looking at what "free" time I have and how I want to be using it. Not super SMART, but it's still necessary data collection and analysis.

On 12/28/2023 at 1:01 AM, Mad Hatter said:

Weird == social? 😄

Sure. Weird as in very outside of the normal routine.

I didn't really do any challenge stuff today. I put in some work on a long-term project that's not on my task list, did some reading, and had a very long (but I think important) talk with my son. I'm okay with that.

Just realized that I should be getting a new challenge together, and... thinking about what I want for the new year. Sounds like a tomorrow job.

Okay, where were we?

There was family time in which I actually did get some work done, because we do a lot of parallel activity when we get together. But there was also a fair amount of talking and socializing and board gaming and such. There was no purging or exercise (except for Squatmas).

Today was also a weird one. I went straight to a restaurant after work to meet up with my high school friends, whom I haven't seen in 13 years despite four of the five of us living in the same city. We really need to meet up more. After the meal, we went over to one friend's house and played cards for the rest of the evening. It was a good time.

Ongoing habits:

No exercise today.

No prayers were possible today.

I did not read a challenge today.

I also did not purge anything today.

Task list is at 847 at the moment.

 

New shiny things for this challenge:

Socializing was very much had.

I did not run out of Barakamon over the break, but I did finish up The Human Target and will be starting The Brothers Lionheart in a bit.

I'm exhausted and just want to read in bed now. It's been a long and eventful day.

On 12/26/2023 at 11:35 AM, Jarric said:

Anyway, I'm hoping I'll get a chance to go tomorrow, though I will now have to pay for a day pass 😕

Did you make it?

Got my Squatmas done one day late. I did not film.

Used two 12lb dumbbells for a little shy of 25% bodyweight. (I had planned on using two 15lbs, which would have put me just over 25%, but I got them confused. ). Squats were a mix of sets of 5 and sets of 10, and I huffed and puffed a lot but can still walk, so I should probably have gone with the 15s. (I rarely use weights and didn't know what I could handle.)

Merry Squatmas all!

Ongoing habits:

I did a Recovery session, because I really felt like stretching and my right arm is still being weirdly painful.

No prayers; work did not allow.

I read a challenge.

I got rid of a classical music CD that I have never listened to and must surely be on Spotify.

858 on my task list. I did email at work and added a whole bunch of stuff as a result. That number should actually be higher, as I had to email a list of things to myself when we hit closing time, and I haven't added those yet.

 

New shiny things for this challenge:

Socializing a little bit on hold.

I'm going to run out of Barakamon long before I run out of holiday. But I have plenty more things to read. I will never run out of things to read, just out of life in which to read them.

I only get one extra day off for the holidays, yet I am SO looking forward to this time off. It's like when you make an ambitious itinerary for a holiday, then also pack a ton of reading material and such, and then if you're lucky barely do half of it and are exhausted - I know I will not achieve all of the things my mind is telling me will magically happen in the next few days, but it's somehow very exciting to think about regardless.

I am here for Squatmas! I will not be doing 50x-50% bodyweight, because that's crazy with dumbbells. But I have dumbbells, and I just just got some kettlebells too, so something as yet undetermined will be done in honour of the day.

How's your challenge going?

Since this is a head start for next year, if there's anything that's not working out, this is a great time to look at why and adjust as appropriate.

Ongoing habits:

I did not exercise today either.

I did get a prayer in, despite my brain's best efforts to avoid doing so.

I got a teeny bit of challenge reading done.

I did not get rid of anything today. Just kind of forgot until it was too late.

853 on my task list. There was a couple of really fast ones, but also one really long one that took multiple hours. So I'm pretty darn happy with that number.

New shiny things for this challenge:

Socializing a little bit on hold.

Read a wee bit more from Barakamon, and doing to settle into some more reading for the evening.

I finally got around to picking out the books for a Christmas folktales program. The library's selection was actually a lot slimmer than I was expecting. I ended up choosing a version of the Ukrainian Christmas spider story, a story in verse about La Vieja Belén from the Dominican Republic, and a Québecois voyageur story about a flying canoe. Covers a reasonable spread of the world (that celebrates Christmas), and not overly religious. I'm okay with some religious content as long as it doesn't push the ideology in a worship-the-baby-Jesus kind of way (ex. the La Vieja Belén story has the three wise men as major characters). Partly because they are folktales about Christmas so it's just to be expected, and partly because I would like to do more folktales from other cultures in future, which might have some Buddhist or indigenous or other religious references that reflect the culture they come from. So I'm setting a precedent in case I get questions later.

Ongoing habits:

I did not exercise today. In fact, I went to sleep the moment I got home. But I did exercise yesterday, and my shoulder muscles are all achy to prove it.

I was at work or asleep at prayer times.

I got a teeny bit of challenge reading done.

I got rid of a recipe.

I am still at 870 on my task list. Some things were added, but the items I pulled from it today took way longer than expected, so I could not shrink the list.

New shiny things for this challenge:

Socializing a little bit on hold.

I am taking a break from the marathon reading of longer books I did the other day with a nice light manga (volume 4 of Barakamon).

All my chocolate gifts are distributed or waiting for their recipient to come back from vacation. All required gifts are purchased and have arrived (except something to accompany my brother's money, and that is an optional extra.). This task is complete.

It would be really great if the times I am excited to work on my work and feel all productive wasn't also 4am when I should really be in bed. 😅And yet here we are. Here's hoping it will carry over to tomorrow, when I have the day off work!

7 hours ago, Sepherina said:

That is quite a list. The data nerd in me wonders how many are duplicates/repeats or those that don’t need to be done anymore.  Maybe some

can be delegated or just ignored. I guess what I am trying to say…it may be worth spending 30 mins or so just reevaluating what is on the list. (With love from one excessive list maker to another). 

4 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

The list has parts of big tasks broken down into many smaller tasks that are more manageable to me when they come up. (Ex. if I have a pile of 37 things that all need to be checked, the "check x" task will appear 37 times.) There are certainly some that have gotten done but not removed, and I just take those out when they come up and that's okay. It's just that I know if I made the list shorter by having tasks like "work on x project" rather than "read this book for x project" or "find an activity for x project" then nothing would happen because I wouldn't know where to start or it would sound too big and I would talk myself out of it. Small tasks make the list super long, but trick me into actually doing things.

I am good with the number being a big one. I know that these are not 800+ separate projects. It could be longer or shorter if I had broken the tasks down differently. That much is okay and not overwhelming. I'm just not good with a list that never gets shorter.

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I had two books that really really needed to go back to the library today, so I spent most of my day reading them.

Ongoing habits:

I did a cartwheel-based exercise session today. It was variations on the cartwheel. I cannot do a basic cartwheel. Probably it would have been fun to watch.

I did not do a prayer. My bad entirely.

I got a teeny bit of challenge reading done. Still not on the computer much.

I got rid of another paper.

I am at 870 on my task list. I have been working occasionally but also dodging this. This is not a healthy way to deal with the overwhelm, as it only makes it worse for the future.

New shiny things for this challenge:

Socializing a little bit on hold.

A bit more reading, yes. Need to get this one done by the end of tomorrow.

I have a fridge full of freshly-made chocolates.

Today was my son's 18th birthday. I spent a bunch of time with him, just hanging out, taking walks, and making chocolates. It was a nice day.

6 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

And expected, of course.  

Thanks! It was nice to see them enjoying themselves. And I LOVE how fast combat is. They would roll and tell me if they hit, then I would roll mine, send it back to them, and they would just be like, already?! Yes dude, I attacked once and missed, your go.
 

6 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

Not awesome. Not awesome at all. 😠

Not really, no. Especially as I didn't even finish getting my stuff up on the website.

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Ongoing habits:

I did not exercise today other than walking to my errands.

I did do a prayer.

I did not read any challenges. I wasn't on the computer much.

I got rid of a paper, and drew another that I'm not sure what to do with. It's a list of things that I have always meant to learn and memorize, but sitting in a box it will never help me.

My phone is dead so I am not sure of the count. I did do some tasks, but not enough for the number to be lower than the last one.

New shiny things for this challenge:

Still no socializing plan. Honestly, I may have to let this go this challenge. I am already a bit over-stressed from work that the willpower to try to socialize might be beyond me. But I will continue to take advantage of any opportunities I run across, for sure.

The politics book has hit a point where it has become quite interesting, sort of grouping people according to motives as to why they stayed (or joined) the Trump White House and the Republican Party at that point. It is an interesting mix of people who just wanted their shot at power and career building (and who often knew that they were an accessory to bad things but were willing to look the other way), people who knew about the bad things but justified their participation by saying that if good people weren't there, it would all be much worse (which may have even been true), and of course the true believers (who seem rather fewer than their public positions might suggest). There are some really interesting descriptions of scenes like the "victory" parties in 2016 where there were cheers as the first few results came in, going to dead silence as they realized the scale of their win, because so many of the political operatives genuinely did not think they would win (and were afraid of it, even while working for it). There were people crying at the victory of their own team, for goodness sake. It's quite something to imagine the compartmentalization and mental gymnastics these people must have been doing to get to that point.

I have purchased the chocolate for my gifts, but have not yet done the making.

On 12/13/2023 at 6:58 AM, KeysMcGee said:

Some of us are born into Family Christmas, some of us achieve Family Christmas, and some of us have Family Christmas thrust upon them.

There are Family Christmases, and there are Family Christmases. I don't know what yours are traditionally like, but ours have always been: show up on a certain day (not even a specific time, though if you want to eat there is a rough time for that), hang out and talk to people or just do parallel activities in the same room, sometime after supper exchange gifts. Now that it is a small number, we also play a board game in the evening, and supper is roast chicken with some vegetables and potatoes. It is not super fancy or planned or "festive", but everyone seems pretty happy with it. That's the important thing really: that everyone is happy with whatever is done. Fanciness is optional.

7 hours ago, KeysMcGee said:

Add to that, we all feel awkward even just asking to hang out. As though it were some kind of imposition. We want someone to come ask us. But because the other person thinks it's an imposition to ask to hang out, no one ever hangs out. And so we just end up being lonely and isolated. And that's no way to live (especially if you're like me and Mrs. Keys and have chosen the no-kid life). So more on this later, but the short version is that even though I still don't have a clear goal per se for socializing, I at least have a compass that will point me in a general direction. And that's more than I had when I started this journey.

Even worse if your friends tend to be cross-gender, and inviting to "hang out" to get to know people risks misunderstandings or people talking. 🙄 It was so much easier when we were kids and you could just ask someone over to play. And you're right - adults need hang-out time (and people to hang out with) too.

I'm glad you're feeling out a direction.

On 12/12/2023 at 4:13 PM, Jean said:

It's been an eventful year but for the very better.

This is excellent news, and I'm so glad to hear that things are shaping up for the better!

Thanks to @Mistr and @Jean for the chocolate assistance, and to @Scaly Freak and @Mad Hatter for chocolate-related chatter.

I kind of disappeared there for a bit, didn't I? Sorry. Work threw a bunch more work my way (I now have six programs in the next two months and it is aaaaaahhhhhh) and also how is it the middle of December already?! I feel like the time is two weeks ahead of where it should rightfully be, which I suppose makes me feel two weeks behind. Which is probably why I've been avoiding everything because it is Too Much. So I have not done a lot of challenge-related things. A little reading. My exercise actually, was very consistent. The rest not really so much.

Which also means I don't have a ton to report. The One Shot program that I did yesterday went very well, and the kids that were there seemed really interested in doing another (we ran long and I sent them out to see if they were okay to continue, and I could hear them begging their parents to stay because it was "SO FUN!" ). That was an excellent end to a workday that began with desperate catchup on getting the advertising for the aforementioned programs ready and an incident of blatant discrimination from a customer (not sure if racism or sexism or both) that, combined, knocked my adrenaline into high gear for the rest of the day. I was quite glad to chill out and do nothing after such an eventful day.

Unfortunately, the new programs mean that my task list has grown again. But I am going to work on it for the rest of the day today, so perhaps it will not be too terrible.

1 hour ago, Mistr said:

Those look great. Does "de graisse de coco" mean coconut oil or cocoa butter?  From noix de coco or from les fèves de cacao?

 

I expect either could work, but they have different melting points.

Oh shoot, yeah. 🤦‍♀️ Mistranslated that on my read-through. If it's coconut oil, that should be a lot easier to get, too.

13 hours ago, Mistr said:

Do all of your coworkers exchange gifts? That seems like a lot. My boss brings in cookies for the team, but no one exchanges gifts

It is A Thing now, yes. We have a lot of talented people on our team, so most people make something.

12 hours ago, Jean said:

One of my go-tos are chocolate fondants (sorry, can't find a recipe in English with that kind of "chocolate fondants": https://www.fabiennejeanneret.com/desserts/fondants-au-chocolat/

 

Not biscuits, easy to batch cook, delicious. The alcohol isn't mandatory (I don't put any in myself).

This.... this could work! THANK YOU! I just need to find out if one of my local stores carries cocoa butter. And if not, I can totally look for something else in the same vein.

6 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

Oooo! For my childhood christmases these were called ischoklad. And they are delicious.  

Does it have Christmassy associations? It just looks like a delicious chocolate with the texture of the inside of a Lindor-ish.

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Ongoing habits:

It was not especially cold out today, but it was damp and very windy - my poor little shopping trolley kept flying into the air with the force of the wind! I had dressed for the temperature but not the wind, so I was pretty cold by the time I got back from shopping and a little exercise sounded like a good way to warm up. I did the next session of Literal Immortality. The toe lunges were indeed a good way to warm my frozen legs back up. And the "pick up and put down" activity is actually a really good way to stretch.

No prayers today. I only remember hearing one I couldn't respond to. I must have been out for the others?

I read a challenge.

I got rid of a little bit of paper. Nothing to get too excited about.

863. Yay for more forward progress!

New shiny things for this challenge:

Yeah, still no socializing plan. I did go out shopping, but since I talked to no one other than casual nods and hellos to people I passed in the street, I don't think it really counts.

I read a bit, but I need to get on with this book because it is now overdue.

I'm going to go to the store to see if I can make @Jean's idea work for me, because it will solve my problem and looks achievable. Either tomorrow or Friday.

Ongoing habits:

I chose not to exercise when I came home from my outing. Not because I didn't want to exercise; I actually would have preferred that to what I needed to do instead: sit on hold for an hour to find out why my credit card wasn't working. If I didn't do it right away, I would have forgotten, and I have those Christmas purchases I made about to be billed on it. So. Priorities. (Once I got through though, the bank was great, and the investigation team called back in only two hours rather than the usual 24-48 I was quoted, so the situation is completely sorted. I really like this bank.)

One prayer today.

I did a lot of challenge reading. I'm not sure how many challenges I read, but some whole ones and bits of at least one other. (This was my hold time activity.)

I got rid of a game I will never play.

867. Yay! Might do more later, might not. But it feels good that forward progress is possible.

New shiny things for this challenge:

I have still to plan my socializing. I'm pretty pleased with today though. My planned outing was cancelled at the last minute, so I was going to do nothing. But I saw a Facebook post for a last-minute Christmas market at a place I had been meaning to revisit for a while, that was only on for 1.5 more hours. So I went out just a few minutes later, poked around the very crowded venue, and took home some chili-infused honey that should make fantastic honey-garlic chicken. (This is how I learned my credit card had issues.)

Just a small amount of reading. Might do more of this as well.

I still don't know what to do about coworker gifts. No ideas at all. Sigh. I'm not very creative on demand.

I did quite a bit of work work today, much of which was the reskin of One Shot in the Dark that I talked about last update. I ended up with a backstory of the party finding a map on their last adventure that shows the location of a long-lost ruin, which houses a powerful item (they can decide what it is). They have to travel through 1) the wilds, where thieves lurk on the roads between towns; 2) the jungle, with thick overgrowth and dangerous animals; and finally 3) the ruins. It has a sort of Indiana Jones feel to it, and I'm pretty happy with it. Didn't even change monster powers or treasure or anything, just changed the descriptions. This game would be SO easy to theme in other ways for variety or to fit in with a special event, create new monsters/items/powers for, and so on. Its core dungeon-generating mechanic and super simple rules contain so much potential for fun.

All right. Time to settle down with some popcorn and watch the final event in the 2023 Marble League.

Get your study on, move your bod a bit, and rejoin us when you have those papers done!

23 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Oh wow even worse that it’s work things! Even if each thing only took 10 minutes we’re talking a month of full time unpaid labour. That’s A LOT.

Yeah. I really very dearly wish that work would permit us to have some work-from-home planning time, because realistically every single children's programmer works unpaid from home at least occasionally, but alas.

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Ongoing habits:

I did not. I forgot to bring my phone with me when I took down my laundry, and I got distracted talking to my son.

No prayers today - bad timing.

I did a tiny bit of challenge reading.

I got rid of a few recipe cards.

871. Back in the right direction!

New shiny things for this challenge:

No planning on the social front. Tomorrow's activity is set, but perhaps afterwards I should get this set up.

Just a small amount of reading.

I have to rethink my coworker gifts. I was going to save myself some effort and just make some cookies to package up individually, but 1) I am not an experienced or especially talented baker, and 2) my coworker just had a cookie social event where she packaged up small amounts of 12 different kinds of cookies for those of us who could not come (and I gather the spread at the event was most impressive). So it would be very underwhelming after that. But I also just don't want to put in the time to make seven tatted snowflakes this year either if I can come up with something else. I need something small and fast and more wintry/cozy than "Christmas" specifically. I'm drawing a blank though.

Today I got the kind of work that I actually enjoy bringing home. I will be running a game at work next week called One Shot in the Dark, but while I was looking forward to it, I haven't actually played it yet. (I spent my work prep time making cards for the spells, items, and characters so that it will run smoothly with inexperienced children.) So I took home a printout of the dungeon plans, and directed my son through a session as I intend to play it to see if there were problems and how long it would take. (Ideally, you find out how long the game will take BEFORE putting out advertising, but, well.....) It was a success, quite fun, and he won with barely a scratch on any of his people (a surprise; the games I watched all had deaths and near-deaths). And it's going to work within the time frame I set, just, as long as I don't spend too long on the "what do you see in this room?" flavour parts. I just need to reskin it to make it more child-friendly, because "evil cultist lair with torture chambers and unholy temples" is not really suitable for a seven-year-old. That should also be fun. I just need to pick a theme that sets them on a mission with three progressively harder "levels" where you fight things and have a boss at the end. Like travelling to a distant mountain to recover a magic item stolen by a dragon that will heal your village of a curse. Rescuing the dwarf king who was kidnapped to the bottom of their mine. Breaking the spell of a magician who has charmed the creatures of the land to fight you. Or something.

16 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Please don’t say that 873 is the number of tasks on your list? 🤯 if yes no wonder you’re overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed on your behalf! I get overwhelmed by more than 3-5 things lol.

Okay, I will not say. (It is the number of tasks on my not-super-urgent-work-I-have-to-bring-home-because-there-is-no-time-at-work list. They are mostly fairly short items like "evaluate a picture book" or "think of a teen passive activity for August", with some longer ones thrown in too. Some of them will become urgent if not dealt with eventually and everything would help me do my job more efficiently and with less stress right now, so I really want to actually make the list shorter. I know the list is long, but having the stuff out of my head makes it WAY less overwhelming than if I had to try and fail to remember all of the things I should be doing.)

Welcome back!

On 12/6/2023 at 12:03 AM, Mad Hatter said:

I also have forced myself to eat meals even on days I really didn’t want to. And I chatted with two people and reached out to an ex colleague who’s in Vietnam too in the hope he’ll want to hang out. 🙂

And hooray for both of these things!

Ongoing habits:

I was going to exercise, but got pulled into something the moment I walked in the door and was still working on it an hour later. I never made it back to exercise.

No prayers today.

I did a tiny bit of challenge reading.

I got rid of a very small thing.

873. I did not think I would actually progress after I added some things and got started late. Pretty happy with that.

New shiny things for this challenge:

I went out for an appointment, which was my social thing for the day, but still haven't made plans. Bleh.

I did some reading and am about to do more. This book is still very gossipy/confessional, but for now the perspective is interesting.

I have chosen the gifts I will buy, but I want to ask for a couple of opinions before I hit the buy button.

Update for yesterday:

Ongoing habits:

I did a respiration exercise, because I needed to destress after work.

I do not remember about prayers. I think maybe one.

I did a tiny bit of challenge reading.

I did not get rid of a thing, but I did make a decision about a thing in my maybe pile.

875 at the end of day. As expected, higher than before. Did not help that work during work hours proved impossible.

New shiny things for this challenge:

I have still not made up my socializing schedule/plan yet.

I did a small amount of reading - not quite a chapter.

I did small amounts of gift research. Need to make purchases today.

Work was extremely annoying yesterday. I had three hours of off-desk time scheduled, which I was hoping to use to prepare a program I'm running next week and haven't even begun. So I started up the computer... which took twelve minutes to finish to the point where I could open an email. (This is a recurring problem; I am seriously considering having reading or some small task available to work on while I wait for programs to open and such because it is so slow it can be almost unusable.) I caught up on my email and was about to start working on my program when the internet went out. This is a killer for us: our files are stored in the cloud, our printer is networked, our cash register is networked, and without the central database, we can't do any check-in/out/making cards/payments. We become a place to come in from the cold to read and not much else. We spent the rest of the day trying to get someone to answer the phone to give us any information on what the problem was and when it would be fixed and mostly failing. With my desperately-needed planning time now off the table, I did the only thing I could: five hours of condition weeding. My brain was numb. (I am still not done. But I might actually finish weeding this year now.) The internet was still out when I left.