juliebarkley

It is done? If so, hooray!

Congratulations! A lot of people do find the first trimester the worst. And it's so awkward, because when you, say, get too tired and need to take a seat on the bus, you look like a healthy young person with no bump who doesn't need it so you get dirty looks sometimes. But I know for me those first 2-3 months (and last three weeks for different reasons) were the worst physically. I found it really helpful to remember, when things were bad, that you just need to get through this day, or this hour, and tomorrow could be different. Everything changes so much when pregnant; whatever is the difficulty of the day probably won't be there in a week, or a month. If no one has told you this today, you're doing great, even if it doesn't feel like you are.

Touch the land. My head did not feel right and I couldn't seem to cool down all day despite it not being super hot, but I also didn't want to miss a session. So I went with a session of Respiration, and did some breathing variations. Visit the land. No. Didn't feel right and also just really didn't feel like it. Discover the land. See above. Just not in the mood today. Spirit of the land. A little. I decided to do a meditation session after the Respiration because I still didn't feel like moving. It was just okay, half lecture half meditation. Purify the land. Got rid of an old (OLD) homeschooling resource. Also did some cleaning and took additional steps to get an item back to its proper owners. Walk with the people of the land. I did an eensy bit of reading. My posting has really fallen off. Talk to the land (bonus). Not today. I had already put a bunch of time into Duolingo, then still managed to not advance to Diamond. I have been spending most of the day knitting. I have a commission that is due to be delivered at the end of August (though the purchaser has said the deadline is really Christmas now, it was August in the contract that I myself wrote, so I am going to try to honour that if I can). I still have a ways to go, so I am going to get on with that.

Sorry to hear that, shaar! I hope you are managing the business and stress well, even if that does mean collapsing in front of a computer from time to time. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No update for Friday as nothing much was done that day. (I created a D&D character, then played a game with her. That be all for the day's accomplishments.) Touch the land. Yes. The tabletop frogger variation we did today seemed an awful lot like the regular frogger, but with more attention paid to form. At least it didn't feel different to me. I have been rolling physio exercises into the workouts instead of the prescribed cooldown, and I am noticing real improvements since last time. (Though man, I still get pain in certain positions after how many months? Wild.) Visit the land. Thought about going out to find a good stargazing site, but it's just a little too late for that now. Discover the land. Nope. Spirit of the land. Not so great today, I'm afraid. Purify the land. Moar paper. Also sent out a message to try to get an item back to its proper home. If no one responds, I guess I keep it. Walk with the people of the land. I did quite a bit of reading actually, but I did not post. Talk to the land (bonus). Going to do this now! Also downloaded a ton of apps (pretty much everything that came up in my app store search), so I'll have to check them out eventually. Didn't have any task in particular in mind for the day, so I just kind of chilled with my list of Piles That Need Going Through, rolled my dice, and worked on them as they came up. That got me some cleaning done, some reading, some email.... A motley assortment of things. I remain boring.

Two days in one today. Touch the land. Ehhh, no. It's been a little while now, hasn't it? Visit the land. Yesterday, just breaks at work. Today, both breaks AND a nice walk at midnight. Discover the land. I tried to pay extra attention to what I was seeing on my walk today, and I did notice some things. The way the light shines through the leaves was quite beautiful in several places. I sat in a little dead end where I don't normally go, and noticed a huge willow tree that I didn't realize was there. Also noticed that another large tree had what looked and felt like berries on it. That's a pretty distinctive feature, but I'm not sure what species it is. Oh, and we were all paying extra attention to the weather today because of the tornado warnings. (At least one touched down less than 10 km away.) Spirit of the land. Paid extra attention to my prayer alarm. Purify the land. Paper both days. I know a lot of days are "I got rid of a little bit of paper", which doesn't sound like much. BUT. I started out with four boxes of paper. Now I have three, and I can almost consolidate into two. Also, even the easy and fast papers take a few minutes to deal with, and they are definitely not all easy or fast. And some aren't to be gotten rid of, but need to be kept and filed, and I haven't been counting those. Walk with the people of the land. I read, but did not post both days, I think. Talk to the land (bonus). Yesterday yes, today no. Learned that "indibayaan" has a different meaning from "indibayan", but not so different that you couldn't confuse them. And this is probably a pattern that will carry forward in other words. Tricksy. Work has been busy, so I've mostly been collapsing into comfortable internet relaxing when I am at home.

You are right, getting myself to show up was hard and a long journey and I am proud of myself for that. Which was part of the reason that the failure was so devastating - I had screwed up all my courage for months for this and it all sort of fell apart on me. But I have another try this coming Monday. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Touch the land. I had a shower before I realized I hadn't done this, and wasn't about to take a second one. Visit the land. Just breaks at work. Discover the land. I noticed that in the parched grass behind my work, there are bright yellow flowers growing. I'm not sure what they are - I didn't think to look them up until later - but I suspect a legume of some kind. Spirit of the land. Not really. In fact things got snarky enough at work (see below) that I should probably count negative points for the day. Purify the land. Ooh no, completely forgot. Walk with the people of the land. I ... do not remember. Talk to the land (bonus). I am going to do this right before bed. (Which is also, conveniently, just after this post.) Work today was what happens when the gods laugh at your feeble human efforts at technology. Hidden due to much venting.

Just don't respect my proofreading.

Meh, it is what comes from doing things on the floor from a squatting position all your life. I get a lot of practice. I hope it brings you some joy and peace. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Touch the land. Today I did not. Visit the land. I did leave the house twice for errands. Discover the land. At an intersection near my house, I saw an animal scurry past in the dark. It was only a second or two, but I saw it's basic body shape, height, and way of moving. And I cannot for the life of me figure out what it might have been. Spirit of the land. I did a little, mostly early in the day. Purify the land. Just a tiny, tiny paper that had a task that needed doing. I started the task but did not finish it. Walk with the people of the land. I did. Talk to the land (bonus). I did not. My scary thing left me feeling nervous early in the day, and was disastrous in the middle. I was very nearly sobbing the whole walk home. It took a while to recover after that. So not the best day for getting things done, I'm afraid.

There was an "I" missing there... 🤦‍♀️

I am glad that it helped you. Now feel less bad about not being able to come up with an elegant and helpful reply.

Touch the land. Today I was a monkey and an awkward backwards bear. I was also a rebel, because I did not do the A-frame to squat (don't need to improve my squat depth), but just tried to walk my hands towards my straight legs, because I do need to work on my pathetic straight leg flexibility. Visit the land. Went outside for the last meditation in my mini-course, then ended up on a very short walk because of frogs. Discover the land. I went to visit the frogs. I heard bullfrogs in this area for the first time! Spirit of the land. I did a meditation outdoors, and worked hard on paying attention to my prayer alarm. Purify the land. Got rid of some recipe cards. Today's section: fruit-oriented desserts. I will never make a meringue base for fruit. I barely even make desserts. So why did I have like five recipes for this? 🤦‍♀️The me of the past who collected these things apparently thought me of the future would be a more ambitious cook than I really am. Walk with the people of the land. I did. Talk to the land (bonus). I did this as well. I think part of the reason that I was having trouble with this course is that I have a feeling I skipped a lesson somewhere. Got some knitting done, went to D&D, came home and... felt off. For a really long time. Eventually realized that it is at least in part because I have something booked for tomorrow that is making me nervous and afraid and, for some reason, sad. I went out to my backyard to do my little meditation and the frogs were so loud, even though they are a block away. After the meditation was done, I found myself drifting to the back of the property to hear them better, and I just needed to be closer. I ended up throwing on a skirt and shawl (no, I was not fully dressed at 2am in my backyard!) and heading down to the dock. And I sat with them for a while. This is probably just me, but I find them very comforting when I am feeling alone or melancholy. They surround you like old friends, calling out their songs. They are also individuals who are alone and looking for a connection instinctually. They end up alone, but also not alone at all, together, all around you, and the result is the beautiful music of their singing together. And it makes me feel less alone, somehow. And so that was my evening. May you all have frogs for when you are alone. (Turn up the volume; it is quiet.)

That would be quite awesome, now wouldn't it?! It sounds like you did your other self-improvements that you gave as examples by starting as projects and then just not stopping, even if you did frame it as having an end point. So clearly that works for you. It's just thinking of goals that give you enough fire to care? Is it that you're not sure of the direction to take, or the framing to get you there?

I kept one of them. The other will be up on eBay if it's worth the selling. (Selling is my son's job, at least in theory. His full closet says it's not been happening though. It may become my job. 🙄) Just two, but they are longer than is usual, so more like four regular manga volumes in total. One other unusual feature is that the language from the non-Japanese character is very simple (he says simply "yes!" a lot). He's operating in a second language that's probably tricky for him to speak (though he can understand okay), and that's a realistic portrayal of that experience.

Yes, back tomorrow! Er um... I came back in action, but not in posting. 😅 Yes, like Scaly Freak said, cats are normally very resistant to messing up their homes in this way. So if the litterbox is too close to food or bed, they may not use it. They don't normally need training. If they are ever NOT using their litterbox, it can be a sign of a medical problem (or it can be as simple as "it's near the washing machine and the sounds scares them"). ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Double update! Touch the land. Yes for Friday, no for Saturday. No excuse for Saturday, it wasn't even that hot, I just didn't want to. Visit the land. Other than breaktimes outside, no. But I did have outside breaktimes both days. Discover the land. I was rather engrossed in my book, I'm afraid. But I'm presently watching a finch couple and a squirrel play in the tree outside my window. Spirit of the land. On both days, and little bit, but not a lot. I should probably read my book again, eh? Purify the land. Got rid of at least one game both days (how did I end up with two copies of Super Mario Galaxy 2?? And move with them??) Walk with the people of the land. I posted on Friday but not Saturday, although I did do some reading. The unread threads that I have left are the long ones now, so getting to the end takes a while. Talk to the land (bonus). I haven't done this for days. I made an effort to at least tick the boxes on Friday, but I can't say as I did a ton more than that. I had to go to bed early enough to at least attempt to get enough sleep for the following workday. Saturday after work I was feeling quite tired and just not in the mood to do anything. So I mostly settled myself in and read both volumes of My Brother's Husband. (And cried. Some really touching scenes of grief in there.) I feel refreshed, so I am hoping that today will have many ticked boxes.

Are you finding the time to train but not to journal, or does no journal = no training?

Sorry for not including in my previous post. Page did not update until afterwards. Naturalist colouring books sound cool! Yes, do play! I have a lint brush (the velvet kind, not the sticky kind) from the dollar store, which I used to brush down the surfaces. After that get the bulk of it (you will need to clean the brush often), any stubborn bits can be got with wet fingers if you feel the need. For carpet, I just run my hands in the direction of the nap to scrape up as much as possible. The urine test on the male can showed something weird (that his sister might also have), so he is going back the vet again, but he has to be shut in a room overnight with no litterbox to make him hold his pee. It really was a bad vet day for all cats. The best I have come up with so far for that particular item is that maybe I can use it as reusable gift wrap. It really is big, roughly 5 feet square. Thanks!

Can I call a bye for the day? It was again very hot (a 20 minute walk made me feel like I was melting and took a couple of hours to recover from), and I also had a headache and the beginning of bleeding time, which brought lethargy and achiness (no, I did not try the calendula tea; hot beverages were unappealing, as was getting up to walk to the kitchen, so I should probably chuck it). I spent a fair amount of time just lying on the ground with my eyes closed. I have not accomplished anything much today, nor is that likely to change. Back tomorrow.

I hope your fast is treating you well and you're getting what you wish to out of it, and I'm glad that your priest was able to find you a way to keep going with the schedule you are keeping. And that you have learned some things that will help you out in future fasts. Yeah, when you are tired the dressing process can take a long time. Step 1 is no longer "find clothes that match"; that's way down the list. It's not even "assemble all necessary clothing". It's "take a minute to remember what clothing is required to be a fully dressed human being". Depending on the degree of tiredness, this can also extend to "remember where you keep each thing", "figure out which pieces to start with" and "after picking each one up, figure out how to put it on correctly". Rumour has it that some people have the wherewithal to do things like put on makeup in the morning, but that sounds like tall tales and legends to me.

Me too. The hyperthyroidism sounds pretty treatable, and the the diabetes has been okay to medicate even though the food is a pain, but it is theoretically reversible too. So it could be much worse. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Touch the land. My prediction yesterday was accurate. I thought about it a couple of times and just noped out of it. Too hot and humid. I am already shedding clothes indoors and I'm barely even moving around. I think it is supposed to be a little bit cooler tomorrow, and if not, I will do a breathing exercise or something. But there will be something. Visit the land. I went outside for break to lie down in the shade and read. Discover the land. My tiny patch of shade did not offer up much to explore. Spirit of the land. I paid attention to my prayer alarm and touched water as appropriate. Purify the land. My efforts here were thwarted. I drew three items out of my box of Things Needing Decisions. First, a first aid kit that I was entrusted with for the local Scouts before Covid shut everything down. I don't live in their district and don't know any of the current leaders, so I went to contact them via the website. But they are shut down for maintenance, so that does in the Future Stuff to Do pile. Second item was a really lovely scarf-type thing. I think it might be meant to be a sarong or swim wrap. It doesn't work well for me as everyday clothes due to its shape and size, and I can't quite figure out what it would be good for, but I like it. So I hung it up in the hopes it might inspire me. Third item was a jar of dehydrated calendula petals. Looked up uses for them thinking maybe I can just get rid of them if I haven't found a use for them thus far, and turns out they are good for just about anything anti-imflammatory, including making a tea for menstrual cramps. I may need that in a few days, so I put it aside to try out. So despite my best efforts, I got rid of nothing. Walk with the people of the land. Not yet. I'm going to keep working on this for a bit though. Talk to the land (bonus). I think I will do this as well, but haven't yet. My new job finally got announced to my coworkers today. It was not a well-kept secret, but they had the decency to act a little surprised and happy. And because the job got announced, I was able to book in for the D&D training. Which means for two of my work hours, I get to watch other people play D&D and get paid for it. (The fact that I have to pay close attention to the logistics and maybe take notes is a small price to pay.) Also put together a neat dystopian fiction display where the sign has "1984 is Now" in graffiti, and I put a Big Brother eye behind each book on display for a tiny jump-scare effect. (I'm not really a display person, but I'm quite proud of a couple of the ones I've come up with recently.) Other than that, motivation in the heat is once again low. And sleep is tricky when the inside temperature does not want to drop below 27°. But hey, first world problems. I'm doing all right. Things are even starting to look a little tidier! Not wanting to move around does incentivize me to sit and do some of the longer and more boring sitting/reading/researching tasks, and it's not like those don't need doing too. So although the exercise is suffering, there are upsides to this heat wave too.

I had to think really hard about what should move when, and how far. And it just felt much more stretchy on the legs especially, which is really shouldn't because it is the same position surely? But it does. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Touch the land. Today I did not. I will try again tomorrow, but honestly it is still 27° at 2am because heat warning for the next couple of days, and the high heat and humidity are not motivating me to move around and generate MORE heat and moisture. Visit the land. Hung out outside on break. I am enjoying this Arsène Lupin book, but holy cow the chapters are long and they have no internal sections. I finish every break on some kind of cliffhanger. Discover the land. There was a patch at work that had not-quite-ripe wild strawberries a little while ago, which I remembered to check on today. I was either too late or it got mowed away, since there was not a trace of berry to be found. Spirit of the land. I liked my nighttime outdoor meditation session from a few days ago, so I did that again. Purify the land. A science experiment I made once for work and kept to use for future (densities of liquids). There are only two layers in the bottle now when there used to be three, so something has happened in there and I am not scientist enough to know what. Only that I can make it again, so out it goes. Walk with the people of the land. Yup! Talk to the land (bonus). Left off this one today, but did ask a friend who has indigenous friends if she knew anyone who was learning this language, because it would be nice to have someone to practice with. The cats had a bad vet day - the diabetic one is probably going to have an insulin increase as her diabetes is still uncontrolled, the other female cat has suspected hyperthyroidism (which explains her sudden interest in chasing her tail), and the male cat is also drinking a lot, but hopefully that is just the heat. Everything is hot and sticky and it took more willpower than it should have to get what I got done done, so I'm happy with my results.

Pretty normal for things to, uh, relax a little during a holiday weekend. Sounds like you got some stuff done. Just as long as it's not every weekend I suppose, since you mentioned having not a lot of time during the week. With the piano, do you think it's the instrument itself (would prefer a different one), the location (ugly construction site in unpleasant to be in, and the feeling carries over to the instrument), the music (not interesting/challenging/too challenging), having it feel like just another obligation rather than a joy, or just the whole music-producing hobby itself needing a rest/rethink?

It's a shame it's quite expensive! The aerial place does not allow you to pay for just one class, you have to get a membership of some kind. That means that if my new work schedule (whenever I learn what it is) doesn't line up with at least 2-3 classes I want to take that are at the right level, it won't be worth the money. So wait and see. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Touch the land. I did some backwards bear, which is WAY harder than forward bear. Visit the land. I walked for shopping, then went back out briefly for foraging. Discover the land. I ran into a ton of black raspberries on my trip to the store, so I snacked on them while I walked. That gave me the idea to harvest some milkweed buds to go with the cheese and spinach ravioli I had bought. And while looking for those, I found a nice stand of daylilies, so I grabbed a few flowers and buds. My ravioli ended up very tasty and I am proud of it. Spirit of the land. Very minimal today, but not non-existent. Purify the land. Got rid of some recipe cards for things I will never ever make. Walk with the people of the land. I surely did! Talk to the land (bonus). I continue to find learning by pure oral repetition hard, but I'm trying to trust the process. I'm sure I would forget things if I saw them written down too. It was a pretty chill day. My errand-running used up a couple of hours, after which I built a tower of noodle-cup future lunches (I could really use some shelves), I helped blood cycle the poor cat by holding her still while she was stabbed in the ear, I sorted through some library books, and I played some board games online with friends in the evening, and then I got my new Angband character murdered (stupid death knight lived up to his name). Really not much else to report.

I hope you find a job that's worth caring about.

Happen to have photos of either of these? I am intrigued.

Touch the land. I sorta forgot to do this, mostly because I never had supper. I had a late lunch of enough soup to make me look a good four months pregnant though. 😅 Visit the land. After this post, I'm going to go outside and do a seated meditation session. Discover the land. We shall see what I discover by sitting and listening to the night sounds! Edit: I can hear the frogs from my backyard. Also the cars from the highway quite a ways off (which makes sense, as I can hear the train too). The moon was beautiful. The ground had a rich fungal aroma, and the grass felt very nice on bare feet. Spirit of the land. Did gratitude journalling, and will be having a meditation session outside. Purify the land. So much today. Did some cleaning of the tidying-up kind. Kept running into small papers, which got shuffled off to the recycling. Also did cleaning of the more cleany kind, and removed large amounts of cat hair (and some of my own) to the compost by scraping it out from under furniture, off soft furnishings, etc. Ew, but also glad it's gone. Walk with the people of the land. I posted on at least two threads. Don't ask me which ones. Talk to the land (bonus). Yep I did. This lesson was really hard. Since they are teaching whole sentences at once (because of the nature of the language), the phrases are long and not so easy to remember if you've been away from it for a few days. I have been hearing from my son how he has already formed a friend group to hang out with, and made connections with a lot of other people. I envy him how easily and quickly he makes friends (at least, casual friends). It sounds like the group is large enough to be interesting but small enough to get to know most everyone (around 80 people), and he said he's already met people from every province except PEI. So that trip sounds like it's off to a great start. My day was a lot more boring. I took my list of piles of stuff from earlier and have been rolling against it for most of the day. So I got some knitting done, got rid of a few phone apps and items in my download folder, closed a few tabs, read a bit of email.... A little bit on a lot of different things. Might do a little more after the meditation. Time to get outside and get on that. See you tomorrow!