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About Vendettaressa

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  • Birthday May 30


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    in the screaming sounds of silence


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  1. If Blethanland is anything like Vendiville, there are about eighty good million reasons and almost no socially acceptable reasons.
  2. It didn't even occur to me it could be used for that, especially given that we're trying to diagnose/determine root cause of a cerebrospinal fluid leak and not having dates for when things were worst/good days is a real pain... This is an excellent plan!
  3. yay health issues! So this four (technically three) week challenge is going to be me doing what I know I need to do. 1 - Walk my new dog every morning and evening for at least 20 minutes. 2 - Cuddle my dog for at least 15 minutes every day. 3 - Complete all schoolwork ASSIGNMENTS by Friday rather than Sunday. 4 - Journal for 5 minutes a day. There. That's it. Any bonus objectives, I'll be more than happy to accomplish, but baby steps.
  4. So so so many down and depressed days. Made it through the holidays. January hit and I became an emotional wreck on the verge of becoming an alcoholic. it's taken three weeks to recover from the worst episode yet, and my husband has found a dog to adopt that will be acting as a companion for me. we are working to get me in therapy, but this requires answering a phone call to schedule appointments, which I don't do. My grades are also severely slipping and I'm likely to not make President's List again this semester even though I've made it the last two semesters. This respawn, I'm g
  5. So I'm clocking in and joining a week late, but the extreme depressive episodes have finally gone down enough to where I might function. So I'm getting the spreadsheet up to date with the school I did yesterday. I'm going to focus on being a mage for now since that's where I'm struggling most, but I would love ideas for where to put walking since I usually have to use it to clear my head and breathe.
  6. Well, keeping up with the forum failed. I've done great at keeping up with the facebook group, but I can't remember to update here. -.-
  7. As always, holidays spin me into mental and emotional turmoil. To restore a sense of balance and peace, I'll be visiting the druids for a little while! Mental: Faithfully log food/walking/soda/workouts every evening before bed. Read a Korean board book once a week. Begin mindful meal preparation every Monday evening. Physical: Complete Water Series A or B three times a week. Walk a different path of Christmas lights once a week. Spiritual/Relational: Participate in one family event every week with different family (bio, in-laws,
  8. I'm still on the very first one called General DOMS. Not gonna lie, if I progressed when I thought I could, I would get nowhere. That's one of my problems, and I'm trying to overcome it by "yes, I've done this for a month, I can try now". Would muscle soreness be a good indicator? If I'm getting less and less sore when doing these exercises, Is it time to move to other exercises?
  9. fPROGRESS UPDATE! LIFE Finish my first year in college with As. Last class of the year! Still on track to make straight As! Get a promotion. Officially Network Technician 2! Become more fluent in Korean. I can now read without mixing syllables up and I can tell you what parts of speech a word usually is. However, I am going to change this goal to: Write a lullaby in Korean. Become more fluent is far too vague and doesn't allow me to set timely goals. HEALTH Get down to 200lbs. Still hovering at 230, but I'm working in the Acad
  10. So I have my starting point. I'm literally starting from 0 on the bodyweight exercises. I have no shame and no qualms about admitting that, because I'm going to get better! I want to end up as an Assassin. I want to be able to freerun and do parkour and free climb. I've been training for almost three weeks and I feel pretty sure I can beat the first boss battle here in another week. But I want to set up my goals with dates so I can actually give myself incentive to train. Should I be following the bodyweight exercises the entire time, move to gym stuff, how long should I be spending on each ti
  11. Totally relate. I'm sure you can do it this time!
  12. So I have been working extremely hard lately to pretend like I don't care. hahahahaha. I care. A lot. Painfully so. During one of my suicidal and depressive states very early this month, I bought Academy and Yoga. I figured, wth, maybe exercise will kill me as bad off as I am. NOPE. I've actually taken a lot of joy in my bodyweight squats and elevated pushups and planking. It's surprising when you find yourself somewhere you always wanted to get to but thought getting on the path would be too hard/too time consuming. Not even kidding. tore through the mindset quests. I know I'm supposed to not
  13. How to hold myself to it. I want it, but I can't manage to break through the fog of desperately needing sleep and then being slammed during work so I don't even get a lunch break or a meal sometimes. I can't wake up early because I work from 2p-3a, and I have to watch the kids at 7a, so I barely sleep as is. I just don't want to give up and I can already feel my priority list shifting to edge it out. How do I hold myself to this?
  14. Welp. Back in the tavern of starting over again... Unlike normal, I am not actually starting over during a manic high. I'm starting over because I've been suicidal for two months straight. I'm the only income in my family and the only chance my children have to survive. As suicidal as I am, death isn't an option. So pouring that self-hatred, rage, and hopelessness out and transforming it into something else is where I'm starting today. Signed up for the Academy last night. Turns out, it was the wakeup call I needed, to change my mindset and fight again. One of the most key thoughts during the
  15. I wondered if anyone else was doing NaNo this year!!! I'm Vendettaressa on the forums!
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