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Posts posted by klaybae

  1. 22 hours ago, Haikoo said:

    Last night I had my first real karate class. It was so much fun! Came home and practiced the series I learned  (part of the To San form) until I got it memorized. In reality, it's more of a mixed martial arts school, but they do a lot of karate. I really hope my joints do okay with it all because I would love to stick with it! It's great, too, because my son is a few belts ahead of me, so he can help me (taught me to tie my belt last night). This makes him (an 11 yo) pretty proud, I think, to be able to teach ME something :) Super cute.   It felt strange to be in the uniform, but I'll get used to it!


    Today I am getting a massage!!! I have had a gift certificate for almost 2 years and kept putting it off. Finally I realized I had only ONE free day left before the kids are out of school and there was one appointment left. Perfect!  I haven't had a professional massage since 2015. 


    Happy Tuesday!

    I'm really so excited about this! Boba is interested in starting martial arts of some sort, and I would love to as well. That is so special that he can take point on something with you! Do you have to wear a gi? 



    20 hours ago, raptron said:



  2. 15 hours ago, Haikoo said:

    Good for you!! It's okay if you have to change the rules. You have found out what is working and what is not. That's a step toward success.

    If I can finish the challenge doing literally anything with intention, it's a win n my book!

    • Like 3
  3. I AM NOT OFF THE CLIFF. I kind of slipped towards it and almost let go, but I hung on through the weekend and pulled myself back up. And I'm probably changing a lot of my challenge but that's better than falling off the cliff. More later. 

    • Like 2
  4. Congrats! I find the first 24 hours the most difficult, until day four or five when it feels gross for a couple days. I really enjoy throwing fasting into my life as I can (for things like productivity and insulin control). I’m glad you’re having a pleasant experience!

    • Thanks 1
  5. 16 hours ago, Daryl of Barbaria said:

    So I popped home today for lunch, happy to see two big packages on the front steps, then ultimately disappointed when neither one was the pair of tomahawks I had ordered. Oh well. A few more days then. At least I was able to get some practice in over lunch with my current hawk.


    I thought I'd show off my little backyard setup for hawk throwing. Inspired by https://tomahawkguys.wordpress.com/



    Cool setup!! 

  6. DAY FOUR??????????

    It's fine.


    Goal 1: ☻☻☻☻∟∟∟

    complete the first half of GMB's Elements program

    Goal 2: ☻☻☻☻∟∟∟
    row 10 minutes a day

    Goal 3: ☻☻☻☻∟∟∟

    eat keto M-F with primal carbs on weekends

    Goal 4: ☻☻∟∟∟

    complete half of my MBSR course

    Monkey is fun!



    Felt like I actually hit my stride (stroke?) again today. Debated going to 20, but really don't want to overdo my "do all the things" self right now, so I'm going to be cool and stay at 10 minutes this week. 



    Grilled fajita salaaaaad. Leftover chorizo deviled eggs for lunch. Eats were good! I'm doing the thing!



    Much better today. Much more present. Much more course work done.

    Other Things

    • Nothing to really report, except woo paid my taxes!
    • Oh, and hopefully next month I can spend a four day weekend in Germany camping at a heavy metal festival!  \m/
    • Like 2
  7. Just now, Haikoo said:

    I have been the psycho yelling parent with the windows open. I apologize to my kids (while reminding them they probably owe me another sort of apology), forgive myself, and bide my time (until the next time, because there will probably be a next time lol)

    Definitely samest of sames. Boba was really sweet. "You're the best Didi, you just got angry. I'm sorry I wasn't listening." Ellie too. "I know you and Boba told me 'no' and I should respect your boundaries." LIKE UGH. 


  8. It's day three and I'm still doing daily updates? 

    Streak obsession is strong.


    Goal 1: ☻☻☻∟∟∟∟

    complete the first half of GMB's Elements program

    Goal 2: ☻☻☻∟∟∟∟
    row 10 minutes a day

    Goal 3: ☻☻☻∟∟∟∟

    eat keto M-F with primal carbs on weekends

    Goal 4: ☻☻∟∟∟∟∟

    complete half of my MBSR course

    Frogger. That is all. 

    Okay, I'm actually not as TERRIBLE at it as I let on, but the whole "heels aren't flat" thing really bums me. I've been trying for years to fix my squat. It's come so far! But it still sucks. And so does my frogger. I hit another wheel pose today though! A nervous, doubtful, hesitant, tired and shaky one, BUT I HIT IT. It might seem silly to be so happy about this, but I couldn't even backbend like this as a kid. It feels good. Doubly good because after a spine injury that left me in a long-term care facility while I learned how to shit in a toilet and walk unassisted again, I never thought I'd do it. I did it.

    I'm also adding in a daily 15 push ups, because reasons. That is going surprisingly well. 



    I felt really tired today. Possibly because day 3 of keto after a two week carb bender (that kicked off with an entire weekend of booze-as-sustenance). But I also did it. 



    The chorizo deviled eggs I whipped up for lunch were so. good. And I have the other half for lunch tomorrow. Scooooooore. I really wanted to cheat today. It's been an emotional day. Maybe one of my most emotional since I quit smoking. And no cigs and no carbs to bandaid me through it meant I had to feel the ENTIRE DAY OF FEELINGS. Which I did, until I didn't. On to mindfulness...



    I got seriously overwhelmed and overdid and tired and parenting-exhausted at supper and blew up at my kids. They were being proper jerks (as kids do, it's fine). I really should have completely removed myself from what was going on, but I felt like I couldn't I tried expressing an SOS to the other grown up but my morse code must be pretty shitty because he did not pick up on it. He also didn't pick up on it when I flat out said "Hello my Limit Break is full, it's about to be unleashed, can you stop what's happening or something." 

    It wasn't stopped and I really ripped into my oldest two and I felt super shitty and DOUBLE EMBARRASSED because it's getting warm and we (and everyone else) has the windows open. Oh. Well. 

    Oh yeah. I did not do my coursework today. But I am a little ahead and my next in person class isn't until Friday. It's fine. 

    Other Things

    • My average daily steps were around 13k last time I wore my fitbit. I've averaging 7k now. It feels. Like I need to focus on this next challenge because I already have a lot on my plate. K.
    • This week I've started going out of the house "as myself." I didn't realise that was like, a big deal for some people. And an incredibly terrifying ordeal for some. I am really lucky that I either don't fucking care enough about the looks people give or things they whisper, or else feel safe enough in my immediate surroundings to do it, or both. 
    • I sent my brother a pic of me and he was actually really jealous that I am several inches shorter than him, around the same weight, and we look about the same size / wear the same pant size. "You look stronger than me and probably have more muscle mass than I do." Hopefully someday, I can grow a better beard than he does too (impossible, his beard is glorious).
    • I took some pictures of some areas I'd like to keep an eye on (legs, calves, back). Like, my belly has really taken the hit in my most recent weight gain, but I look pretty dang great imo. I really want to get my waist measurement down though, because T can cause weight gain, and it will likely all go to the belly (male fat distribution pattern).
  9. 22 minutes ago, Jakkals said:

    Battling my internet addiction problem has never worked before, I wonder why it will work now.

    Quitting smoking has never worked before either (for me), but that doesn't mean this time won't be the time it does. It's been over a month, now!

    You can't find the way unless you keep searching for it.

    Edit: How's lights out going?

    • Like 2
  10. 4 hours ago, klaybae said:

    I really understand. Personal basic care like showering and brushing my teeth are among some of my first struggles when I enter a depression. You don’t have to be embarrassed. But I know that doesn’t change how you feel so easily. Just remember, you’re among people who love you and understand and aren’t going to judge you (as harshly as you judge yourself).

    I feel like at the end it seems like I'm saying we are judging you a little bit, but what I actually meant is seriously ZERO NONE NADA. 

  11. 47 minutes ago, deftona said:

    I don't know why it's socially acceptable to comment on anyone's body, ever. Even if they think it's a compliment. 

    THIS x1000. And I get so angry when I am told to just “learn to take a compliment” because there are so many MORE MEANINGFUL and sincere ways to compliment me 


    huffs in anime 

    • Like 2
  12. I really struggle with accepting (and giving) compliments about weight loss. Growing up, I often didn’t eat during severe depressions. I would lose weight, and people would compliment how great I was looking, what a good person I was for choosing to lose weight, and completely ignored it as a sign of mental and spiritual unwellness. It felt like they were gleefully salting a very large and open wound. 


    Now I just really struggle to compliment weight loss, unless it’s a close friend and I know the loss is intentional + know their big why. It feels too much like I’m validating the belief that we are less worthy if we are fat and vice versa. 


    Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts on all this. It’s possibly something we could all examine a little deeper.

    • Like 3
  13. 5 hours ago, Wicked Pixie said:

    God, it's really almost embarrassing to type out, but get comfortable with being uncomfortable applies to lots of things, right!?!?

    I really understand. Personal basic care like showering and brushing my teeth are among some of my first struggles when I enter a depression. You don’t have to be embarrassed. But I know that doesn’t change how you feel so easily. Just remember, you’re among people who love you and understand and aren’t going to judge you (as harshly as you judge yourself).

    • Like 1
  14. 3 minutes ago, Heidi said:

    Thank you @klaybae -- you must be magic.

    I heard back that I was the top candidate and that the panel are moving into the background check phase. If successful, I will be formally offered the position. The process takes two to six weeks.


    I credit going to yoga at dawn in the park and then hitting the steam room afterwards.

    Fingers croseed. Future reports as events warrant.

    Hopefully it all wraps up before the challenge ends (purely for selfish reasons). How exciting!

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