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klaybae

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Posts posted by klaybae

  1. DAY TWO OKAY I AM STILL HERE WOW.

    So. My progress for week one. I have an official streak! I'll break each section down a little more below. K? K. Cool.

     

    Goal 1: ☻☻∟∟∟∟∟

    complete the first half of GMB's Elements program

    Goal 2: ☻☻∟∟∟∟∟
    row 10 minutes a day

    Goal 3: ☻☻∟∟∟∟∟

    eat keto M-F with primal carbs on weekends

    Goal 4: ☻☻∟∟∟∟∟

    complete half of my MBSR course

    GMB
    Yesterday was the Elements assessment. Today's focus was on the A-Frame (think downward dog) and moving in Bear (taking downward dog and moving forward and reverse--spoiler: backwards version SUCKS). As difficult as I find this when I throw it in reverse, I actually like this best of the three Element movement patterns. Partly because it's my strongest form. Partly because it has done WONDERS for improving my overhead shoulder ROM, increasing overall shoulder strength, and keeping fibro trigger points at bay.  Seriously, if you have shoulder issues. START. RIGHT. NOW. Mostly it's my favorite because it doesn't call out how shittytight my hips are in front of the entire class. Thanks, Bear. YOU DA REAL MVP. Tomorrow is Frogger, though. Oh the hip-miliation.

     

    Rowing

    Yesterday I stopped at exactly ten minutes. Today was pretty much more of the same. I can really tell it's been a few weeks since I broke my rowing streak (and never got back to it hurrrr), because something feels weird. My cadence maybe. My stroke is way less powerful, and I'm compensating with a higher stroke rate. Which results in a significantly more elevated heart rate. Which makes me have ZERO interest in pushing for more than ten minutes each day, at least until I get re-coordinated. Right now I just care about restoring consistency. Longer sessions can come later.

     

    Eats

    Food's been delicious. I'm bbq'ing lots. Today my calories were in a much better (for me) place, and still around 70% from fats. I think I'm ending the day around 11g net carbs? I've also been drinking a ridiculous amount of water. And coffee. Might really need to reel in the coffee, but I'll see how my sleep fares. 

     

    If you want to see food pics, Proof of Rowing (PoR), and more, check out the new IG handle I made just for NF challenges! If you have an IG account dedicated to bettering yourself through health, fitness, or tacos, lemme know how to follow you. PM me, or drop it here if you want. Or follow me, and I'll throw a follow right back atchya. :winkwinkwinkwinkwink: I'm gonna warn you though. I seriously suck at accountability threads. Like, just expect this challenge to drop dead at a moment's notice. My IG will do the same. NOT THIS TIME. NOT THIS TIME. I AM AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT IN BETTERING MYSELF. (I'm also just boring and take shitty pics.)

     

    Mindfulness

    My course seems like it's going to require 30-45 minutes a day, with maybe a solid hour one day a week. I've been a pretty solid practitioner of mindfulness for many, many years, but I've never taken a "real" course on it. Read loads of books, practiced many styles, etc. But this is new for me. It's strange to do it in person, with people. But I want to really reconnect to this practice, maybe I'll deepen it, and maybe I'll be able to help others as well. 
     

    Other Things

    • I've started wearing my Fitbit again. If any of you are tracking steps this challenge, feel free to add me to any weekday or weekend step event things. It's a great way to feel good about yourself, when you see how much better you do! (Makes note to add "Increase overall daily movement" to next challenge.)
    • I had a most excellent bath cri today, reading Brene Brown's Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for Courage and the Strength to Stand Alone. I feel so. Okay. now. About this thing that so many people tell me is going to LITERALLY destroy everyone and everything I love. Periods of transition (from anything to anything) are hard, period. They always suck. Discomfort signals change and growth. And that's good. And that's where I aim to be. And this uncomfortable time (for me and family and anyone else) will pass, and in ten years it won't be anywhere close to how badly I would feel if I were still living without the highest level of authenticity. It's too important to me, to teach my kids to be true to themselves, and also show them. It's also just important to me, for me. It's me. It's literally just me. It's fine.
    • I'm nearly out of my favorite incense. I think I'll try something new. 
    •  Shark week be sharkin.
    • At Hammi's suggestion, I've ordered some black currant black tea. Maybe that will help me lay off the coffee a bit. STILL CAFFEINE THO. 
  2. 9 hours ago, Wicked Pixie said:

    Methinks it's been a great deal too long since I've been home. I'm back and about to create my Rangery challenge as well!!! Love you seester! It's good to be home!

    Shall I @ you for the accountabilibuddies group too!? Weeeeee

  3. Mindfulness can be a great tool for preventing the spiral, but once I’m sucked in, survival mode (stuff like your goals) is usually the best option. I hope your goals serve as a helpful reminder. Sounds like this isn’t your first depression rodeo, but I hope you can stay/become healthy and okay-er 

    • Like 1
  4. 2 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

    Hammi, I think your username is prophetic. You are bringing back all kinds of veterans with this thread.

    We heed the call of the Hammiwammibobammi

    • Like 1
    • Haha 1
  5. A long time ago, in a Nerdiverse far, far away.....

     

    ..four FIVE mysterious travelers, brought together by forces both magical and mundane, surpassed their masters, attained phat loots, and dominated their demons. The Fighters of the Night Man. The Champions of the Sun. Imbued with the Magic of Friendship. They oozed metaphysical glitter from every pore.

     

    tenor.gif?itemid=9021678

     

     

    @Haikoo the determined ranger
    @Devyn the spiritual assassin
    @Hammlin the scouty ranger

    @Wicked Pixie the journeying ranger
    And @klaybae the deadliest druid

    Then Shit Happened, and the Winds of Fate knocked them to the corners of the globe.
    Undeterred, their bond endured.


    AND NOW THEY BACK Y'ALL. 
     

    Welcome to The Ultimate Battle Ress: Vol. 1

    Week 1 Focus: Don't fall off a cliff.
    At least check in here a couple times this week, even if you can't be arsed to update your challenge thread. Even if you just post "x".
    If you have the energy and time, be proactive in reaching out to members who haven't posted in a couple days.

    Week 2 Focus: TBD
    TBD...

    Week 3 Focus: TBD
    ???

    Week 4 Focus: TBD
    Profit

    • Like 1
  6. 23 hours ago, Hammlin said:

    /me stands at the base of the hill you are climbing with you.

     

    Ready for a great adventure, friend.

    I love you always

     

    2 hours ago, Haikoo said:

    I've missed your face!!!

     

    Hope you appointment goes better than expected today!

     

     

    <hugz>

    Thanks Koobie. AND THIS REVIVAL Y'ALL!!!!! WEEEEEEE. I'm going to make our OG REVIVAL group after I do this here lil type up

     

    1 hour ago, Daryl of Barbaria said:

    I'm here to follow along and offer support. Great challenge and happy returns to NF!

     

    Sorry to hear you've had to deal with so much unprofessional BS.

    Thanks very much <3
     

    Hokay. The First Day.
    What a turbulent day. I'm tired. Let's view the polls and see how our dear Klaybae is managing the first week!

    Goal 1: ∟∟∟∟∟∟

    complete the first half of GMB's Elements program

    Goal 2: ∟∟∟∟∟∟
    row 10 minutes a day

    Goal 3: ∟∟∟∟∟∟

    eat keto M-F with primal carbs on weekends

    Goal 4: ∟∟∟∟∟∟

    complete half of my MBSR course

     

    MY WORD! The first day is in the bag, and I've not fallen off a cliff yet. Applause for everyone! I did eat quite a bit more than I meant to (maybe? I don't really know what kind of intake I'm aiming for. Le'ts wing this badboi), but my net carbos came to 22 g. noice.

    Today's Eats

    breakfast: butter coffee

    lunch: scrambled eggs with avocado, cheese, tobasco, and creme fraiche

    afternoon snack: beef chips and mixed nuts

    supper: grilled burgers topped w/ sauteed mushrooms, bacon, and raclette cheese + creamed leeks + steamed spinach

     

    Hey guess what? I also remembered this cool spoiler function. Now, if you don't want to read trans cri content, you can skip it! The marvels! The wonders! No stress!
     

    Spoiler

    My doctor made me come in for a B I L L E D appointment to tell me to contact my former psychiatrist myself, and that her office will not be endorsing my decision. Because "it is wrong, this is wrong, you have a family to think about." I'm pretty sure a phone call to express this darling sentiment would have been equally as effective. She went on to tell me to think about my established relationship and my three children, and the impact, and how this is too much. So I asked, "Don't you think a therapist who specialises in helping gender dysphoric people and their families would be better suited to make this call?" I don't know if the office will even schedule an appointment without a referral from my GP, and I'm 99.9999999999999% positive my insurance won't cover it. Even though compulsory insurance in Switzerland is legally obligated to cover gender affirming therapies and treatments. So this is one of the (myriad?) ways they fucking get around it all. I knew there would be gatekeeping and bullshit but. Yike. 

    When she shook my hand, she barely gripped it, jerked her hand away, and wiped it on her blouse. Maybe she knows something about a wacky infectious disease I'm carrying that I don't? As a subhuman creature, may I be released from the mega expensive taxes I pay in Switzerland? Hahaaaaa as if they'd give up that sweet moola.

    Doctor appointment stuff aside. I dressed in men's clothing today. I felt even worse about my breasts. It's not always as easy as "just dress butch." I think it's quite shit how trans men are really considered like something even more other than trans women...at least here in Switzerland. My dysphoria is less legitimate. My need for different primary and secondary sex traits is less legitimate. I am supposed to be happy to live stone butch and shut up and stop making people uncomfortable. Don't you know, "women who want to be men" can stealth so much more easily? As horrible as it feels, I told my partner that I'm making the decision to express my gender as a man from here on. Because the last dang thing I need is another gatekeeper asking me a stupid question like, "But how can you be a man if you wear women's clothes!" Oooooooooooooooff.

    I got some really nice socks though. And some new jeans and shorts. And swimming trunks! And boxer briefs! 

    Following this path will only destroy my relationships and rip apart the very fabric of family values itself! Nah, fam. I don't buy this bullshit. I'm exactly the same person I've always been to my partner and children. Me feeling better about myself? Feeling safer? Feeling truer? That's only going to be good for all of us in the long term, even if it's really blowing right now. AND HOOOWEEE DO IT REALLY BLOW RIGHT NOW.

    My heart is an ache. Maximum stubborn mode has been fully ignited though. So thanks for that, Dr. Douche.

     

  7. Just now, BNJMMN said:

    I also did a youtube guided Tai-Chi routine the other day. That was pretty nice and relaxing, however I think it will take some time and practice to make full use of it. You have to think a lot about what you're doing when you haven't done it before. 

     

    I'd definitely be interested in a link!

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