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Bean Sidhe

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About Bean Sidhe

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    Persistent in the Face of Chaos
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  1. So more proof that PT wasnt helping. Sat are a busy day here. Walk Agent Ninja for .75 miles, Farmers market, ran errand for clothes for Youngest agent for a thing next weekend, Youngest agent to friend, come back sort out plans for event, go to pet store, go to grocery store, pick up missing agent, come back, talk to neighbor, pulled the pepper plants and a few other things from the garden, took the debris and put it in the compost bin or on the curb, walked both dogs (2 miles for one, .75 for the other) and just sat down. All done in about 12.5 hours. current step count is 17383 steps. My ankle hurts, but my knee isn't bad. No meds today at all for it. I still need to do the bike time and boxes (that's the plan anyway). Am I tired, YES... but I am not hurting. when I was doing PT, I would be able to do maybe half that and that was with the tylenol every few hours . will it get grumpy later, probably, there were moments it caught or I twisted wrong, but I was able to keep going. MRI people called yesterday and we are now in a game of phone tag. they called the house and left a message to call them back. I called them back and got an answering machine. My phone does not always work in the office, so I have them calling the house so I might get the message to call them before 4 pm. Knee is starting to stiffen up, time to get moving again. Oh and dinner at some point.
  2. Okay, update time. Work was better. Super stressful training done and I melted. There was some drama (not mine) and I am trying to do more. Boss is already at "lets watch your work load" but more may be coming down the pipe and I don't kow who we can trust to take it since coworker is getting worse and not better. I did the walking, I am beating the entire walking challenge since Monday by over 10,000 steps and I am already over my 10 for the day. Time to hit the bike since I keep thinking if I lose the weight and it still hurts, then maybe they will believe its not the arthritis. But all I want is my bed adn it not to be a tease. The days I have to get up, the bed loves me and tries to keep me, the blankets makes me one of its people and is sad to see me go. A day I can sleep in, it throws me out saying it hates me and refuses to be comfy and the blankets pile up weird and mock me. I need sleep. bed be nice
  3. So I am getting Xanax this time. I tried an MRI with the "happy" pill last time (don't remember which pill) but I am not a happy drunk, it makes me very depressive and afraid I was a failure when I couldn't hold still I ended up crying so hard they stopped which only made me a bigger failure so I cried more. Office roomie says Xanax will make me sleep. We will see. I don't know. and no, not picking up anything over the counter. Hubby's job could be lost if he even gets second hand, I was the wrong concert exposure to ANY drug that is not legal by the feds, so Oh and my new shiny Anxiety ring won't go since its metal. And part of this may be that I am not the "OMG, the pain... How horrible this is" since I am still doing what needs done because there is no "hey lets not walk the 8 mo puppy since shes stoopid and ate her bed because she was bored and no one was playing with her when she had energy." I need to be walking her more, playing with her more, but I need time and energy
  4. Probably. This is the ortho guy and I kinda liked him last time. But I think he assumes "there is arthritis and she is fat and she is whining because PT hurt" when really it may be something else. I mean I have walked around on a broken foot before for over a month and a half before the broken bone partially tore a tendon. so he probably assumes normal people don't do that. Thats the goal. bought a new seat today, the old one was horrible which is what the reviews said. but now I need to change out of jeans and get on the damn thing. Problem is, I don't wanna cause I am tired and I have an Agent Black demanding attention from the keyboard
  5. I am alive. the world got dumb adn I have been having a hard time dealing. So I am restarting (the last restart lasted 2 weeks) but I think this one might work. So part of the problem was PT made my knee worse. It was more swollen, it hurt MORE (even on non-PT days) and teh PT lady even thought she saw bruising, so she said not to come back till I talked to the Dr. I mean it was Work, PT, Walk dog, collapse. nothing else. It hurt too much. My ANKLE even hurt all the time. I had the anti-inflammatory and more tylenol in those 4 weeks than the rest of my life. PT thought I tore something (probably the meniscus), but said we needed the MRI. One neat thing about the PT, I found riding the bike does not hurt, which will be great come winter and when walking isn't safe. We have a bike now (came late last week) and I have been on it the last 3 days. Its not long since I have been walking as well, but its the routine. Just saw Dr on Tues. He was in there for less than 3 minutes and was done. Didn't understand how I couldn't sit still (Anxiety jerk) and how it couldn't be that the MRI was making me claustrophobic but it was the lack of control and telling me to hold still made me tense the muscle to HOLD. But he still thinks it is the arthritis. Knee replacement is now 50-55 years old, and if the shots don't work (We know they dont) and PT doesnt work, we may need to talk about a NERVE BLOCK (messing with the nerve in my leg) may be the only option. Oh and I need to lose weight since its the fat upsetting my arthritis (They didn't weigh me or even ask pain scale this time) FML;. Oh and I have to wait for the MRI to be approved by insurance before I can even schedule it. If the MRI doesn't work, it may be diagnostic Knee scope to see what is going on. So I had a few bad days. I didn't care. The weight didn't go up, but I also felt so useless being on the couch so much icing my knee. So I am trying to take things back. I re-did my challenge to remove the PT, Remove the watering of the garden (it is frosting suddenly) and Boss has taken away OT. Not the amount of work I have to do, but the pay for OT and has told me to stop working as much. He admits that co-worker needs to step it up and is on top of him to do things. But I don't see him being much help and the new coder has been working one 1 project for like 2-3 months that doesn't even help with what I have going on. So we will see. I did go back to arching on Sunday. Not much, but I realized how much I missed it. My bowstring is dead, but I have been using Youngest's bow and doing some small practice in the yard. Probably scares the neighbors, but it is VERY BLUNT arrows (all foam padded) against the shed door so it safe. So I am trying. to get back to doing things and caring. So I need to do something. I can't live like this all the time abnd the depression and anxiety are bad which means getting my house and life in order will help. Wish me luck and maybe to pass the MRI.
  6. Other things I recommend when my reflux is bad Bagel with cream cheese (Bagel absorbs the acid, cream cheese is a base) Ice cream sandwhiches (DQ because at least that tastes better if it does come back) Basically a starch and a dairy can do so much good. Sorry you had to pull out of the study. Hopefully you feel better soon. (I have been reading, just not logging in again)
  7. So Friday I had a ton fo things to do, I was going to leave on time and got stuck staying an hour over. UGH. Saturday I did all the things, like 17100+ steps between farmers market, Thrift store once, then twice, errands, grocery store, garden work, cleaning, walking Ninja dog twice, Yappy dog once. I hit 7.59 miles, but I forgot to fill in the boxes because by the time I wanted to look at them I was too tired. Oh, We went to the thrift store a second time because I bought this really nice coffee table (replacing our 20 year old Target flatpack one) with a wooden table with a cool pattern with glass inlay top and metal legs for $25. And it was so easy to clean up, almost no scratches or dings. I am so happy Sunday I was tired and we had people here. MIL stopped by, Brother S was here. We were supposed to do a thing, but rain hit. I ended up napping since I was so tired, but only for an hour which didn't really help. Steps were non existant as we canned and cleaned and watched football Monday was back to work, working late, then come home and walk the 2 dogs separately (Yappy dog barely does the block, Ninja dog needs at least 2 mi to not be crazy and Ninja throws a fit if Yappy and her are split up) Boxes were done (No PT all weekend) but I did things. 11867 steps later, it was done So yeah, I am trying, but sleep is the one thing I really need
  8. Sorry. I did really well last week, and then, well I went splat I did things Monday and today, but I am really still feeling like I need to sleep for a few months.
  9. I have done them and I spend a ton of time on them at work. But when it comes to do them at home, I find it a bigger pain. I don't keep any passwords or usernames saved in my browsers and all cookies nad history is pretty much cleared every time I close the browser (which I tend to do between websites), so even come here requires the spoons to log in and do things. Excel does not require as many spoons when it is constantly open and on one of the 2 screens as a constant reminder to do my stuff. In a number of ways, this is so much easier and allows me to be lazy and annoying to myself at the same time.
  10. So update The spreadsheet is maybe fixed. Going to have to burn it in for a day, but it is looking right. Today was my PT heart rate zone test. I am proud that I managed to do it, but the last 2 parts were bad. I was about to tap out, but I finished it before it. 30+ minutes on the bike and my leg muscles hurt, but not the knee. And the heart rate zone 1 and 2 levels I should be at. I am just proud I did it. I also did the 2 walks after I got home. Long walk with Ninja dog and tiny walk with Yappy. So far I am at 11702 and while I am getting tired, I am doing okay. That is a massive "Not like my mom moment" who can barely do the PT, let alone all that movement. Now to do PT exercises, the boxes, eat dinner and get some sleep. Bed sounds so good right now
  11. thank you. I am hoping it is a simple fix. The big part is figuring out what I missed.
  12. I like my spreadsheets, I do. It is so much easier than when I tried to do it by hand. The problem is, it means being at the computer. But I love how I have everything auto formated to show green when completed, Red when not and it does the counting based on what is put in the field. So much faster than by hand. Thanks. I am almost always crazy busy, so this should be normal. It just doesn't feel it.
  13. So as I finish up my day of boxes (what I can do before bedtime) and I just now realize all the complicated Math in my spreadsheet is incorrect. In one place I have 44 pts and in Another spot for today I have 51 pts. Well fudge Highest point total so far 44 One Good thing DONE Time with Agents DONE One way I am not like mom I was sore and didn't complain at PT Notes Did I get all pts in: Needed Possible Strength 5 5 Flexibility 7 7 Life and Family 8 8 Future Me Favors 12 9 Daily Skirmishes against Chaos 5 5 Campaigns against Chaos 4 4 Walking 6 5 Fuel 8 8 Points earned for day 50 51 Did I make daily point goal TRUE I have a heart rate zone test thing tomorrow after work for PT. The goal is to help me identify where my real heart rate should be to get healthy? Hopefully I have time to fix this. because now I am annoyed and angry since it took FOREVER to rewrite this whole thing. At this point, I am only missing 4 boxes. but I hate the math not being correct.
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