Bean Sidhe

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About Bean Sidhe

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  1. Bean Sidhe

    Bean Sidhe Vs Chaos... I am still here...

    Tuesday Okay so didn't realize what I really had scheduled yesterday. So Not only was it the usual chaos of work, I had to take Dad for a walk, then go to the meeting at Youngest school where they tried piling about 4 things on me. UGH, I got home after 5:30 and I was so tired, I couldn't focus. I managed to start my homework about 7:30 and I got some done, but I am seriously feeling behind on that since I have chosen family coming this weekend (maybe. There is a huge winter storm coming through). So not sure what will happen there. I will also admit I am feeling more than a bit overwhelmed because besides the usual work/school/Agents mess you throw in helping my parents DAILY and its tiring. Challenge wise, I did manage to get moving and get all my boxes done. Mostly because when I didn't want to Hubby kind pushed me to, offering to be the Jerk for me. I also got on the treadmill for the second day in a row (Thanks to Hubby for making me) and I got all my stretches done, and that helped some too. But mostly, I am just trying to keep going. BTW, been having some issues with the tendon in my foot I ripped years ago being mad and my other hip not liking me in the mornings. I am hoping the stretches and the exercise will help both. But again, right now, it feels like 1 more thing
  2. Bean Sidhe

    Bean Sidhe Vs Chaos... I am still here...

    Thanks. I have used that idea of the micropromise here before. Like "I saw J3NN did this, so I need to do it." or "I told Flea I would do this something, so I need to make sure to get it done." One of the reasons I come here is to have people keep me on task and to help them. If I was left to my own devices I would probably be doing a "well, not worth doing it today, maybe tomorrow/next week" Feel free to use whatever out of my challenge works for you. I hope it helps and if you want me to check in and say "Did your 3 things (or whatever) daily, I am totally up for that. WE can do this J3NN, I really believe that.
  3. Bean Sidhe

    J3nn's Three goals for 2019

    @J3NN I am so sorry that things have been so rough lately. I can totally understand that feeling of just "What next?" and it making it hard to get out of bed. I totally think a challenge revamp would be a good idea and sometimes, it can feel better to take the bit of control and say I will do 3 or X or something. Trust me, that is where I am at. As far as whining/complaining. You are fine, we all have those moments. I know you have read my challenges and I have had the same moments. sometimes being able to go "why me" can actually help since you can finally voice what you are thinking and that is okay too. I am here to support you and I know you will do great with however you revamp it. Sometimes being able to do something can make it feel like you are still in control of something, even if nothing else is. *hugs* Here to cheer you on or listen if you need someone to talk to.
  4. Bean Sidhe

    Lateral Planet Eats to Live

    My parents were the same way. we had at least one if not 2 boxes of hostess treats a week in the house and after school every day we could get one. And soda was a constant. I guess its a matter of 2 things: A) What is "okay" has changed a bit since we were kids and B) Maybe they thought we would outgrow it?
  5. Bean Sidhe

    Bean Sidhe Vs Chaos... I am still here...

    Monday 1/14 Non-Challenge wise: It wasn't great. Issues with one of my classes not having any info until after about 4 pm. The instructor still doesn't have everything posted. Issues with getting my dad to therapy (do you want me to take him or not), and it ended with a full panic attack over the instructor for a class telling us that we may need to be recorded for an exam and use a lockdown browser. Oh and will skip over the first day of classes at work BS and the fact I forgot to arrange pick up for an Agent (thought of it before school, but oops) Challenge wise I did better. Mostly because after the panic attack I needed some control. I got all my boxes and 39/24 pts. I did make myself get on the treadmill last night which helped (mostly because I couldn't deal with studying after everything). It felt good to walk and I got all my stretches done since I have been noticing some tightness in my lower back. Hopefully I can get that back to where it was. I really don't like the idea I can no longer touch my toes. I was doing it just fine. Ugh, one more thing to work on I guess.
  6. Bean Sidhe

    Athaclena takes 2019 one week at a time.....

    Good luck, I am sure you will do great
  7. Bean Sidhe

    Lateral Planet Eats to Live

    No going to lie, I did this too for a bit. It didn't work for me either. Part of the reason I dont' see fasting working for me. I was eating once a day for years and got huge. no thanks. regular meals it is. Good luck We usually get snow well before now. Actually my Dad had his stroke snow blowing 6 - 8 inches in late November. We do get pretty hot, but maybe not your definition of hot. I hope the walks go well. I would love to walk right now, but that whole snow thing has outside walking done until people clear the sidewalks. (so March, ugh)
  8. Bean Sidhe

    Lateral Planet Eats to Live

    See in situations like this, I would of just said skip it, but that is not a good plan since that is how I got here. Great job doing at least something for food. I will totally swap you for the 12" of snow I got Saturday and the freezing fog we have this morning. Good luck getting the walks in and hopefully puppy is okay with shorter ones until the heat dies down.
  9. Bean Sidhe

    Bean Sidhe Vs Chaos... I am still here...

    So the Blah that hit with the 12" of snow on Saturday didn't go away. I got 3 of the boxes and it was all from picking at cleaning. It helped, but I know I should of done more. Mostly, I was just mad I couldn't get out, mad our dinner was cancelled, mad the mailman refused to step 1 foot out of the truck to deliver my las textbook for classes today and mad that I can't get a break. We did get 26 1/2 pints of blueberry syrup canned, but that was about it. Sunday went betterish. We got out and got a bit done. Not everything I needed to which means back to studying and doing homework while running errands mid week. But we got ourselves and my parents dug out. One of their neighbors had done their driveway at least once (the neighbors are starting to find out my dad had a stroke), so it wasn't too bad. But my back to classes nerves hit, along with a case of "I am not ready for choosen family." and I got some anxiety going for the first time in a bit. This happens before each semester and not having all my school stuff arranged made it worse. But mostly it was the worry about doing school and my parents and all the other stuff. I had a small productive spurt and then went back to Nope don't wanna. Overall sunday I got all my boxes and 26 out of 24 pts. So that is something. but I really could use another like 2 weeks before classes start. Or maybe its the burn out from being in school so long. I dunno. But classes have started, I have my first homework assignments (only one class so far), here we go. If I want to or not is not longer an option. Time to just do.
  10. Not the best title for a challenge, but honestly, I haven’t given up yet. This is not going to be a fun gif challenge, but more a “I just need to keep trying but I really like the idea of giving up” challenge. Spoiler has the basic background, but basically, I am just trying to remember that trying is worth something. The big thing that isn’t in that spoiler was my dad had a small stroke the Monday after Thanksgiving, and that changed everything. He’s doing better now, but we still have a long road to get from where we are to where he wants to be and when things return to whatever normal will be. There is so much going on here with family drama, its draining. Especially since him being down has really shown how bad off some of my family let themselves get. I don’t ever want to not be able to care for those I love. However, I need to get back on track. I need to eat better and cut out the dumb sugar, I need to get moving again and work on keeping the chaos under control. So I am going to try. The one thing that went really well last challenge (thank goodness) was the “Do x number from a category a day.” In the light of all we faced, it let me still do SOMETHING and gave me a feeling of control when I really didn’t have any. That being said, I don’t think I am at a point where I can go back to doing it all, but I do want to make it just a bit harder. So the plan, is to increase the number of things I need to do in each category to get my box. See below for the plan Strength (Do 2) – because I need to be strong right now § Balance ball crunches § Wall sit § Side kicks § Leg lifts § Reverse sit ups § Sit ups § Knee to elbows § Push ups § Balance ball push ups Flexibility (Do 4) – Because I have proven, these help § Wrist Extension stretch § Upward Dog/Child pose § Meditating Groot § Butterfly § Ballet/Toe Touch § Sitting fix/Shoulder Stretch § Warrior 1 § Warrior 3 (bird thing) § Side stretch § Forward bend Life and Family (DO 7) – These keep me able to either take care of things or are taking care of people § Take down holiday decorations (we have more Christmases, but I just don’t care this year, I do a bit a day) § NF time (being here keeps me honest § Spend time with Agents § Work on Garden planning/starting (Seeds need inventoried and started, number of trays ect) § Plan § Be in bed by 11:30 § Floss in morning § Floss before bed § Work on one thing off Part B list (as much as I wish that would go away) § One good thing each day § Water a plant § Homework time daily (Before classes start, it will be clean up/prep next semester time, book and supply info) Fight Chaos – Clean Daily (Do 2) - Because when things are clean, it’s easier to do stuff § Peninsula/Island § Table/Half wall § Desk § Bathroom up § Bathroom down § Clean off door to basement § Clean off Dresser Fight Chaos – Purge/Organize (Do 2) - This will help pair down what’s here for more stuff (or more one spots to clean) § Front room § Computer room § Basement § Nightstands § Counter over dishwasher § File 1 thing a day § Purge one thing a day Walking (Do 1) - This didn’t change, since there are so few goals. Hope is to really hit more like 2 a day, but I don’t want to put too much pressure on me § 10,500 steps a day § Walk 15 minutes a day (outside or treadmill) § Walk to Mordor (update files) Fuel (do 6) – Another key, eating what I need to eat, and not what I don’t and maybe even track it § No eating after dinner § No stupid sugar § Track Breakfast § Track second breakfast § Track elevensies § Less than 3 bottles of tea (gets expensive and cuts back water intake) § Eat Yogurt daily § Eat Bananas daily § Eat Dried apricots daily § Eat Breakfast § Eat Lunch § Drink 120 Oz of Water a day Here is to hoping this gives me some hope. I am tired and part of me feels like I should accept it will never happen, especially with as much as life hates me and those I care about. The other thing telling me I am wasting my time here is looking at those around me, and seeing how bad they let themselves get. Maybe I will end up like them, no matter what I do. But I want to see progress to get somewhere so bad. Here is to admitting Motivation is gone, hope is not far behind, but well I just keep trying to go forward. Mostly because, I know that all the mess behind me isn't where I want to be.