Diadhuit

There was some people from the Netherland at the conference, especially one seating next to me. They might have spread that to me [emoji19] Yet, I'm slowly back to my feet.

So, it appears that you are healing from stomach bugs when you feel hungry again. I started eating before that, but yesterday at midnight was impossible to avoid some rusks!

What is a ta-dah list? I read that to be happy it makes sense to have an I-did list. But I can't resolve and it's on my to-do [emoji57]

Yaaay!

Thanks!! I had a great weekend after, spent with my mentor and another former colleague. I missed speaking the language of my region and while I don't really speak it, they do. We sat, chatted about life and career and feel better... Better... until I got really sick on Monday! It seems I have cought a bad viral belly flu. Called the doctor, he scared me about not drinking (he's right) and the fact dehidration can cause clots in me... [emoji33][emoji33][emoji33] But could start drinking again in the afternoon, so I'm slightly better. Even if still not in the eating mood

Where are you at?

Yesterday I thought I needed to use food to heal. Was in pain and blaming me and food. But... it turns out it's a virus! [emoji85] I think the premise can still apply, if I don't make the blaming leap.

Wow!! congrats!!

That makes sense, yes! I have that on my one-day list too. I'm kind of dating a guy now who organises races, so I have less than a year to get a bit fitter. If the story goes on [emoji5]

Fair point, my spiritual director would say the same. Yet I'm drawn toward the examen (even a partial one), and the block feels more 'the enemy' work. It's complicated to explain better than this. I have to say yesterday I did the last part and I'm happy to say it felt like coming home [emoji5]

Stressor one is done and was successful! Talk was good, made some (re)connections to lay down a path out to another company in case I want to do that. Nearly decided I will go and ask to change team more openly. I just can't stay where I am. But first stressor two, moving in [emoji5]

I think I'm a bit better. I have a strong sense of justice and I see an injust world and want to cry. What's the point in spending all these energies to say we like diversity if this happens?!? (I know, cryptic, but can't reveal context) Anyway, my plan is to probably leave soon, yet where can I find anything different? In@Whisper thread I was reminding him about an evening prayer and how I could do it as well. Didn't do it, but still it might be a good way to find what is moving in my heart.

I think I'm a bit better. I have a strong sense of justice and I see an injust world and want to cry. What's the point in spending all these energies to say we like diversity if this happens?!? (I know, cryptic, but can't reveal context) Anyway, my plan is to probably leave soon, yet where can I find anything different? In@Whisper thread I was reminding him about an evening prayer and how I could do it as well. Didn't do it, but still it might be a good way to find what is moving in my heart.

I like your goals and yeee you are back! Do you want to run a race or a park run (https://www.parkrun.com/) would meet your criteria? I like those, because it's a weekly run and it gives you the time as a real run. Do you like in the UK, right?

This made me chuckle. I needed a bit of a laugh. The bright side is that at least you can have a bit more money. Is it worth the effort? You guessed correctly. Baptised Roman Catholic, practicing Roman Catholic and Church of Ireland, Christian by faith. I attended some Lutheran services (not sure it's the right term in English) but I'll admit my knowledge has some limitations. Anyway... spiritual direction is not common in catholics either. I have been very lucky and after two failed attempts I found the person that clicks with me. Befriending a gesuit priest has its advantages... they know people [emoji16] I do struggle with my consistency too, yet when I was regularly doing the examen it was really easier to see the path. Yet I find some resistance to it now and it might be because it would show something I don't want to aknowledge. I started with this book: http://www.loyolapress.com/a-simple-life-changing-prayer.htm And the examen goes like this: : 1. Ask God for light. I want to look at my day with God’s eyes, not merely my own. 2. Give thanks. The day I have just lived is a gift from God. Be grateful for it. 3. Review the day. I carefully look back on the day just completed, being guided by the Holy Spirit. 4. Face your shortcomings. I face up to what is wrong—in my life and in me. 5. Look toward the day to come. I ask where I need God in the day to come. I then adapted to me, where point 2 is feeling the best moment in which I was closer to God. The point 5 was the one that falls first, yet the most powerful. I find that way too often what I ask is realised, in ways I don't expect. And shows God's care and love, and also their sense of humour. Now, I realise I've written a lot, but maybe it was a lot of words that I needed to hear for myself. I am going to switch off and pray the examen before falling asleep. Goodnight!

Wed - physio exercises twice a day every day (unless dancing, max 1/week skipping) - not really - cook once per week - not yet - in bed at 11 every working day, 12 weekends - 11.30 that works since I'm off tomorrow - meditate / pray daily (as little as: 'Goodmorning, I love you more and more and I feel God's love' acclamation is enough) - no I am not ok. I am really not ok. I want to just sit down and cry. I want my ex back and I want to smash his face for getting back to me and opening a can of feelings. My grandma fell again and she is in deep depression and wants to die, and I'm afraid I won't see her before she does. At the same time I'm getting a huge fear of flying that is getting to me even on land. And I love my job but I'm about to snap to my boss. We were in disagreement with a person to hire, and honestly if that is how people get hired I distrust the whole industry and the idea of fairness (if, indeed, I had some left). I can't discuss details, but I want to shout from the rooftops how injust the field is! At least, it's not a candidate vs candidate situation, yet it's the first time that I want to leave the industry based on inequality on hiring (until now it has been about inequality full stop). I better boil my rage down now.

I believe these are signs of a level-up coming. I felt them in the past and latently feel them now. Don't force it and cherish these feelings. They will guide you. I'm not doing that now, I'm fighting the struggle, so I'm the not the person to follow example from. Are you journaling? I found it gives direction. Even writing down the best and worst moment in the day, it will reveal themes. I'll admit, I need to go back journaling for the same reasons I'm telling you to.

Thanks! I honestly think your progress are amazing, and I know I'm judging only with what you write, but I think you came a very long way. Thanks for the book review, I probably wouldn't have joined the FB group anyway. I also should go back to therapy, not because it helped, but because I need to talk to someone.

Thank you!! I am glad too, even if sometimes I forget about it. I think I could adopt this technique: https://forge.medium.com/move-tasks-from-your-to-do-list-to-an-i-did-list-a1193ab4440d Since a lot of my stress comes to put effort into things and not seeing immediate results, having a list of what I accomplished in a day could give me a different feeling...

I am not worried about me finding work tbh. I am thinking of changing company anyway. Yet, Brexit uncertainty brings lower prices for houses, people made redundant and higher food prices (most is imported here). Ireland is probably THE place where being vegetarian harms the environment because meat is local, vegetables are not (beside potatoes and cabbage)... Irish economy might gain from Brexit, because it was overexpanding, so this slow down is overall beneficial long term. I really hope to find what works for me, I'm embarking to a 8 weeks mindfullness course on compassionate living. We'll see!

Tue - physio exercises twice a day every day (unless dancing, max 1/week skipping) - one exercise out of two - cook once per week - not yet - in bed at 11 every working day, 12 weekends - yes! (also: yesish on Monday) - meditate / pray daily (as little as: 'Goodmorning, I love you more and more and I feel God's love' acclamation is enough) - yes (also: no on Monday) It seems that yesterday I had a bad day... I was floored at work. But I got good news about the house, they should be finish the toilet in a week and I'll get the painters in the next day!! I was not expecting that, it's great!! Beside the works for the master bedroom (floor) and maybe stairs (removing carpet), it seems they can finish all up before I get to leave the apt! Amazing news!

This gives me the shiver of something I long for and also a big fright.

Ugh! What job do you do? Why is there this much overtime? Is it paid at least?!?

Do you have a spiritual director (or companion as mine prefers)? I found that a good one is a blessing! And she is preparing me for the exercises and since lately I was always crying when I was talking to her, I realised how important it is not to start now. Do you practice the examen already? Or biblical readings every day? Journaling? Don't want to discourage you only because I didn't have time though!

I think this is for the best! Knowing you need help is something already, yet allowing someone to help you is really difficult (for me at least!). I'm proud of you!!