I'm new in this forum. I can relate to your issue and I know how to fix it.
focusing on calorie counting is devistating becasue in this modern civiliziation, food is a form of plessure.
counting calorie more than 6 months will break a lot of people.
I recommend you to focus on fresh whole food, less junk like fresh meat, fish, eggs, grain free liftyle.
carbohydrartes will make us fat and stimulate insulin release which can make our fat tissue grow.
By eliminating grain, carbohydrates from our diet you won'w have to focus on your calories at all, only what is in it and whats not.
I recommend you try low carb diet, interrmitent fasting, ketogenic etc.