Echoceanic

Yay! I got my food intake under control. Honestly, mostly I needed to calm down. Once I got my head on straight I knew what to do. Thanks to everyone that checked up on me, even if I didn't post a lot.

I've been tracking one way or another in bullet journal form since 2012 or so, so this is exciting. The mattress thing sounds exhausting, but hopefully you get used to the new one too. My only experience with that is the first time I slept on a mattress that wasn't a decade older than me, I overslept so badly I woke up at 2pm and missed everything.

For a bit yeah! It's nice to see you!

Thanks I'll check her out.

A bit of an overview of the past few days: - I pretty much get hungry every 3 hours again, apart from epic fails like the eggs. If I time it I might get rid of the starving feeling. - I consistently wake up stomach-gnawing-hungry, so that's a bit rude. - We don't really have what is considered snacks in the house? - I'm on a pasta moratorium (apart from lasagne) and resting the peanut butter a bit too. Tired a bit.

Hi Sal! Another drive by hug coming your way. :)) It's okay to have times where everything is on hold due to strong emotions. If you let yourself feel them they do less damage. She picked you. She likes you. You can talk about at least some of it with her, at least she'll be aware of it and know it's an issue. But yeah liking yourself is really hard.

Mostly because I already eat a lot of legumes - they are usually my main protein for the day. The meal mentioned usually has either a can of beans or a can of chickpeas in it, sorry I didn't mention it. Though yeah I will pay more attention to those too. More potatoes is always a good idea too, thanks. I think the heat kinda messed up my usual meals too because cooking is a lot in this weather and hot food is too. Thought about this last night. My caloric intake is... not really a thing I think about? As long as I'm full and and not crying at the end of the month money-wise, I don't really care about it. The option is still available now, but wont be when I need to get up at 5 or 6 am for my first shift soon. I was trying to get used to it, and since I wake up naturally at around that time too (I was oversleeping actually, hence the drummer in my head). Due to the cost and the general hassle - I fully expect their response to just be 'eat more' - I'm avoiding it unless I am sure something is wrong. The less sleep = more food happened at my last job, but it was exacerbated by all the stress - I basically had to eat every two or so hours.

I'm back for the rest of this challenge! Hope everyone has been doing well. I didn't really have much to say over the course of the almost a year I've been away from here (reason why I took a break) but these days I find myself with a problem, so I thought I'd better post here before I go crazy in confusion. If anyone can help it's you guys. See, I've always had a good relationship with food. I did have outside pressure about the amount of food I ate (aka people thought I didn't eat, then acted surprised I did) but it didn't manifest into anything. And I have always eaten quite a lot. But also I have slept a lot. And now I stepped sleeping as much and got to a nice 7-8 hours a night that didn't make me feel like a drummer used my head as a practice space on the daily. Due to the heat I've also gotten in the habit of drinking about 10 glasses of water a day from my usual 4. All great stuff. But, my appetite has gotten bigger. Like, a lot bigger. Like, I had three fried eggs with cottage cheese, and was hungry half an hour later - had to eat one and a half gyros in order for my stomach to stop freaking out. Five meals a day, all pretty large, all about three hours apart. I'm hungry all the time, the stomach hurting kind of hunger. I have a few go to meals and snacks but they have begun to take a tool on me (I can't eat another peace of bread with peanut butter or I'm going to scream). This naturally leads to frustration and anger and stress which of course make the situation worse. And I have no ideas left. I am also on a pretty tight budget. So this month I'm gonna try and see what to do. If anyone has any tips, or can just reassure me a bit, I'd appreciate it. Current plan is to introduce a lot more meat in my diet - I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat more vegetarian meals than meals with meat in a week. I don't think 'increase the physical amount of food in one meal' will work because I don't want to make myself sick but I'm gonna try and see if I can get into the habit of refilling my plate (a full plate used to fill me, now not so much). I also know I've been eating a lot more simple carbs just due to the fact I can't think of what to cook and the veggies with tomato puree and mushrooms get annoying. So I'm going to switch out pasta with frittatas for a while as a 'we have nothing in the house' meal. Updates will happen when I figure stuff out. An addendum - I haven't had any extra physical activity - actually exercising less these days due to heat, knee inflammation that just passed and just general reshuffling of priorities. And my weight hasn't changed. I also don't have any other symptoms, not fatigue, nothing, so I'm pretty confident it's not a medical thing. The less sleep = bigger appetite has happened before, hence why I connect the two. So let's see if I can stop being hungry.

And now April Fool is stuck in my head. Not a bad thing mind you.

I have a habit of doing it by hand in a notebook. With dates and amount and everything. Also, this is your reminder to keep copies of everything. Everything you sign, everything that is sent to you. File (and backups) or physical copy. That way if something gets messed up form their end, you can have proof. And you can remember everything like that. I had an idea that might work with your visual inclinations - in regards to your self talk. I had someone I know use an empty jar, and every time they stopped themselves from talking negatively about themselves (like, "no I'm not stupid, I made a mistake like any person would and that doesn't invalidate all of my other choices"), they put something in the jar. It could be a piece of paper with the thought, or a marble, coins, or really anything you have laying around (I don't remember what theirs was). The jar will sit and remind you, and eventually the act will get easier (it's gonna be really hard at first, sop expect the jar to be semi-empty for a while) so you can feel a sense of accomplishment to see physical proof of you improving your mindset - that is a big gotcha for my brain "see? I do things!".

Okay, so I buy some canned stuff (tomatoes, chickpeas) to have to add to meals when I need to bulk up things, and I always have lentils, rice and beans in the house. I usually make sure I at least have a plan for what I'm gonna eat for a few days - when I have the mental energy I go to the fridge and plan meals. The fact I know what I'll eat tomorrow for at least one meal makes it way easier. A checklist helps - every meal needs a source of protein and a source of carbs (not an exact science but this fits with what I usually like eating) and I add veggies and seeds to everything. I usually prep half of the meal in advance - example, I'll buy chicken and cook it, then divide it in three boxes and store it in the fridge and have one with a bag of frozen veggies, one with rice, and one with another thing. You can do this with vegetarian meals too. You can heat stuff up in your oven very easily (I tend to not care about this that much I eat cold food all the time, but that's me). If I have leftovers, I either eat them for breakfast/dinner, or I combine two leftovers. I usually prep up to four meals, and make a little more than I need to, so I can have that in the fridge. Bulk cooking stew/chilly/beans, dividing into a few parts and adding other stuff to it for variety daily. I tend to like my veggies raw-ish so I don't cook them a long time. Another tip is having a list of meals you can do when you literally can't even. I feel like grilled cheese (toasties?) would be on your list. Frittatas with mushrooms and peppers is on mine. Basically, something you can do even when you can't do anything and that will make you feel full and better, with stuff you always have at home. It helps you save money on takeout, and it is generally healthier than it. Though sometimes you will have takeout and that is fine. Hope this helps!

So basically if you manage to have a routine and do all of this stuff without collapsing/hurting yourself (sleeping injuries notwithstanding) you win.

This is great. Interest on debts can get wild, so doing it this way would be good. I'm glad your mom was willing and able to help. You are doing really well. I'm glad to see it. In my experience telling people when you need alone time for whatever reason makes everything easier. Uuuum... I have never had a microwave (I don't even have a freezer right now and my oven is older than me). I prep meals (I have three different levels of prep) all the time. I can write what I do if it would help? Remember to breathe. You're doing alright. You have made so much progress don't let your mind gaslight you into thinking you haven't. Argue with it if you have to (sometimes saying things aloud helps).

I'm waiting till all four of em emerge. Especially because on one side I have a tooth that is basically three walls and a filling (it kept hurting until the dentist hollowed it out) so I'm thinking if the wisdom tooth is healthy (good chance, I haven't had many problems) they can just yank this one out.

I will have to have some of my wisdom teeth removed, because my other teeth will crowd. So this sounds awful.

I haven't had a day like this in a while, but I remember them. Ugh yeah this kneecaps me so much.

It happens. You sort one thing at a time, when you feel like you can.

You are injured. Pushing yourself will only make it worse. You are allowed to take care of yourself by doing less.

I don't think I'm doing a challenge this time around but I am for sure going to hang around with my blueberry tea.

I used to think my hamstrings were the tightest portion of my body. Nope, apparently it's my calves. So much that walking in flats for more than a few hours makes my lower back hurt. So I have a love/hate relationship with stretching/flexibility/mobility in general.

I designated mine to housing my home workout things, and use a hanger at the back of my door for the not quite dirty clothes. But depending on the size of your chair it might not work (mine is so small I can't fit in it).

The only reason I use my relatively expensive journal is because it's the only thing I could find that has enough pages so I don't have a notebook pile up.

I feel like everyone I know has an issue with flexibility.

I think I don't have this problem because we don't have a basket. We've always just remove the clothes from the hanger and put them away immediately (or left them on the chair for a few hours and then put them away).

I'm currently doing his posture routine and that has been super helpful. I mostly find a video and use him as a form check guide and wind up with new exercises to try. As a previously talkative kid with the energy of a Labrador puppy, I am eternally grateful for patient parents.