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About Ensi

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    Pirate at Heart
  • Birthday 04/02/1991


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  1. Thank you both! Lots of hugs back <3 Most likely! There are several guards that take turns at the library, so even though he isn't there all the time, there's a possibility. I'm fairly sure I'll see him there some time. I 100 % knew it might come to this when I gave him my number, but I have zero regrets, and I still like him very much as a person. Of course it'll be awkward to see him at first, but I hope we can say hello at some point when we see each other at work. He's a funny guy
  2. Small steps, right? You are allowed to make your life look like yours, no one is going to come and tell you that you're doing it wrong (except for your ED). And maybe we're not talking about being harsh, but maybe it''s more about helping each other see our toxic thought patterns? I'm just sometimes a bit timid to do so, because it's easy to be misunderstood online, when our discussion is totally text-based...! But please know that I wish you only good, and I know how hard it is to change the mindset and thoughts. It takes time, and it also takes courage to stand up and say, "this is me and this is how I live!" and then fight off the things that make it feel impossible to live your own, authentic life This is a safe space, and we never want to be harsh towards you as a person, just your ED. You made a big realization today, well done
  3. @Tobbe I somehow have a sense that you're still trying to find the "right" way to practice IE, in a sense that there should be rules that everyone practicing IE should follow instead of finding your own way. For example, you said earlier: "Shouldn't we always, 100% of the time, prioritize taste? And I thought the mere mention of calories was a big NO-NO when doing IE. Is it not?" Isn't this sentence filled with rules? "Shouldn't we always, 100 % of the time", "a big NO-NO"? We all have our needs and challenges. Someone can be really chill about counting calories and have no ED behaviours, but that doesn't mean that my way of practicing IE is threatened in any way. We're all making our own decisions based on the information we have. If I reacted to everything I read online, I'd be insane by now I have my own guidelines, and I try to honor those. If I see someone else counting calories and it works for them, then that's fine. It doesn't affect me in any way. I try to be a caring parent to myself, offering myself nutritious foods and sweets, because life's short. I also try to build myself a life where food is just food, not something I have to worry about. I just wanted to say this so that you understand that it's far more important to start making changes to your everyday life to see what works for you instead of trying to find the ultimate truth somewhere online. (I didn't mean this to sound harsh, but if it sounded harsh, it's not meant to be harsh towards you, but your eating disorder. You're obviously a very intelligent nerd that loves reading, but at some point you need to start experimenting like a scientist I'm sure you're handling things with your therapist. Just have the courage to live by your own guidelines, not your ED's rules.)
  4. Something I've noticed this week: doing yoga helps me listen to my body better. I'm always so busy trying to practice IE that I forget that truly listening to your body is a big part of it. What I mean is the moment when you tune in and listen to your body: does it need rest? Movement? Food? I've started to learn to silence my thoughts and listen more this week, and it's a good feeling I'm gonna do some yoga a bit later on. Do you think exercise helps you to stay in tune with your body better?
  5. Why don't you want to use that much oats? Is it from the place of restriction, or do you feel better about having a little less? Again, the intention is the key here. I can see that...! It's cool to see the group being so active :'D I've had a few rough weeks, but I'm starting to get my head back in the game again. I'll just try and slither my way in the conversation now...
  6. Oohhhh my. I decided to let Kyle go and not contact him anymore. My final message to him was a very vague "if you feel like it, send me a message" kinda message, and I haven't heard of him since. I feel relived and peaceful, like I'm myself again The situation got ridiculous, and I feel so much happier now that I don't have to think about it anymore. He's a lovely person, but not the right for me. I got strength to do this by talking with Vinnie on Messenger. He's a like-minded introvert, and he helped me to realize it's over between me and Kyle. We talked about how we both like being alone, but he's changed his mind about it and is moving in with the woman he's currently with. We also talked about our relationship and the fact that we have a strong bond, no matter what (he said he would have asked me out for a date long ago, but things happened differently). I'm very, very grateful to have him in my life. He had an evening shift at the library, and I went there to hang out with him and do my math homework. Grandma passed away today. She has been in a care home for a couple of years now. She passed peacefully, which is good. I feel bad for Dad, though. I need to travel to Winterfell at some point, for the funeral the latest. As you can imagine, I'm going through a ton of emotions here, but at the bottom of it all, I feel peaceful. I feel like there's a weight lifted off my shoulders, but I also feel like Kyle has given me some experiences that have been really good for me. I'm happy to keep studying and enjoying the spring - there's more and more light every day!
  7. Hi everyone! I'm making a comeback now, hoping to be more mindful about intuitive eating again I've had a pretty stressful start for the year, but it's looking smoother now. It's been really easy for me to see that extra stress and worries make it hard to practice IE...! I'm gonna focus on enjoying life and food from now on. How have you all been?
  8. Thank you This is my personal Ragnarok. And I mean that in the style of Thor: Ragnarok I've had had to take a good, long look at myself and my life, and it's been a disgustingly honest and dirty experience, at the most part. I've seen some ugly stuff, but also a lot of good stuff. Now I'm trying to find the daydreamer in me, and build myself up better. (I guess I have the same character flaw as Thor: not believing in no-win situations and instead thinking that there's no way I won't win in the end. Whatever winning means... Sometimes it's not quite as I think, but my ultimate victory is to be calm and healthy, so... Here we go!)
  9. Hello! Welcome to my Battle Log for 2019! I may take part in some challenges, but I've come to notice that my goals are no longer something that the 4-week format serves all that well...! I prefer journaling about certain topics, until I've achieved the purpose of journaling. My challenges don't really lie in eating habits or exercise anymore, but in figuring out who I am and becoming my own person. I carry with me some emotional baggage and self-limiting beliefs that I'd like to work on in order to live a life that looks like me. This is what getting out of the cage means: I've built myself a perfect little cage to keep me safe, but these days it's only suffocating me. I recently started dating a man, who's made me see myself and my life from a whole new perspective, and I feel like it's a good thing. Nevertheless, I have a lot to think about, but I feel like I have a possibility to become something new and healthier this year. We'll see! I have a lot of studies and other things to do IRL, but I'll journal here as much as I can! I'm also active in the Intuitive Eating Support Group that's been really helpful in my own IE practice Let's have some fun this year! Welcome aboard!
  10. Welcome to the IE Group! This group is for everyone, who wishes to practice intuitive eating. It doesn’t matter, if you’re just starting or if you’re a seasoned veteran: everyone’s welcome! This group is for sharing ideas and experiences around intuitive eating, and to offer guidance with issues that members might have. Rules: Intuitive eating is a very personal experience, so we’re not here to tell one another how to do it “right”. Instead, we support everyone to find their own way and navigate through their issues Discussion should be mostly about intuitive eating and everything that has something to do with it Personal venting is allowed, but put it under spoilers Do not share material that encourages dieting or food restrictions - this group is not the place for that Sharing material on intuitive eating is allowed Avoid discussing exact calorie amounts or goal weights, as some might find this triggering (or put them under spoilers, too) Taking part in challenges and other activities is optional. Use this group in any way you find helpful Taking part in discussions that you find difficult or emotionally taxing is not expected of you. If something's too much for you to handle, feel free to skip the discussion It is very likely that there will be discussion surrounding eating disorders and/or unhealthy relationship with food, since many discover intuitive eating after a long time of dieting or suffering from an eating disorder. This is why it’s important to understand that we are not trained psychologists, therapists, or dietitians: this group doesn’t replace getting professional help for your issues with food, but we’re here to offer support to one another. Some of us might have a healthy relationship with food, some not, and it's all OK: we're here to learn and grow How to join? Come and say hello! If you wish to give a brief introduction of yourself and/or a link to your current challenge, that would be lovely ( But don't feel pressured to share any information you'd rather keep to yourself.) What are the challenges about? The point of the challenges is to give one another mental support as we do things that are new and/or scary to us. For example, we might try eating our fear foods, or spend a week paying extra attention to our hunger or satiety signals. We encourage you to come up with your own challenge ideas and tell us about them: this is a wonderful opportunity to get support for something specific you're struggling with! Current members: Ensi Terah Tobbe Mad Hatter TheGreyJediRanger Arkania Tanktimus the Encourager RedStone suzyQlou Mahalak annyshay Cheetah Diadhuit Defining Intuitive Eating Resources Books Evelyn Tribole, Elyse Resch: Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works Intuitive Eating introduces the principles of intuitive eating and helps you to establish a healthier relationship with food Evelyn Tribole, Elyse Resch: The Intuitive Eating Workbook: Ten Principles for Nourishing a Healthy Relationship with Food A workbook to help you to learn the principles of intuitive eating in practice Kathryn Hansen: Brain Over Binge Brain Over Binge is the story of a recovering bulimic and realizations that have helped her deal with her eating disorder Videos and podcasts How To Stop Counting Calories And Find Food Freedom! A video by a young woman who's recovering from an eating disorder. She has many helpful videos, and she often rants about unhealthy relationship to food and diet culture. Worth a watch, even if you want to keep counting calories (which is not wrong!). My Journey From Counting Calories to Intuitive Eating - a video from the same Youtuber. Trust your hunger and make peace with food - a TED talk by Eve Lahijani. The Recovery Warrior Show - Eating disorder recovery podcast with interesting interviews. Body Kindness Podcast - Podcast about being kind to yourself and your body. Fearless Rebelle Radio - Summer Innanen's podcast! Discussions about diet culture and body positivity. Articles 6 Reasons to stop counting calories + 11 things to do instead Activities and exercises Journal Prompts (from @RedStone)