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About Ensi


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  1. Ensi - Love!!!

    Curiously enough, it seems that overnight oats don't give me any weird symptoms! My own theory is that the oats absorb so much liquid during the night that they don't start such a huge process in my stomach, but that's just my theory. I'm gonna keep experimenting I did a kettlebell workout yesterday, and today I want to focus on rest and nutrition. I'm still not back to my pre-depression leanness, and I've had some weird feelings of tiredness, DOMS and bloating. I think that I was pretty excited last week (meeting CSS and realizing that I could keep studying), and it was a bit harder for me to process while recovering from the depression. I'm not quite zen yet. Besides, Shark Week should start next week, so it might be PMS. actual footage of my management department figuring out the exact depression costs It's just my body that's tense, though: my mood's been fine, and I feel calm. So, today I want to take a couple of steps back, and remind myself of the principles of intuitive eating. I literally have no idea what the picture 7 is, though. What is it?? All I see is a rabbit that's squashed...? Or peeking out of a hole?? *distressed screaming* Hmm I wanted to talk about something earlier in the morning... But I can't remember what it was. Anyway, I'm focusing on those principles today. I have healthy foods at home, so I'm all set to relax! I want to go out for a walk at some point, though, because the sun is shining I did yoga in the morning, and I'm going to do some steam inhalation to ease the symptoms the cold and dry weather is causing. Hmm a smart move would be to translate the resume in Swedish (finally)...! Now the thesis is off my hands, and I feel like I have the mental energy for it. I'll see if it happens
  2. Ensi - Love!!!

    Yay I am so excited!! I'm slowly gaining confidence - I think the decision to study more made me feel easier. Now I have more time to really focus on computer science and get to know people and possible careers on the field, and get better at what I want to do. I only started studying computer science three years ago, so even if I know a lot already, my main studies have taken the major part of my attention. What exactly do you do for a living, again? I remember you've talked about it, but I can't remember exactly how computers were involved Ohh you've been doing things like that? That sounds cool! I created fictional horse stables on expage.com. Then there was Geocities, which changed a lot. Gosh I'm starting to remember all the pretty graphics that people created back then...! A lot of pastel colours and bling bling
  3. LadyShello Finds Her Way

    Sounds like your week is filled with possibilities! I hope you have time to ace everything
  4. Deffy # 35 - Triple Threat

    1. Drawing 2. Studying (ha! squashed a million flies here ) 3. Cooking But I spend an alarming amount of my time browsing NF :DD
  5. Ensi - Love!!!

    Thanks! I recently made a website for my CV with Bootstrap, and now I'm converting it to a WP theme with the help of a book I have. I had a hard time grasping the idea of WP, but I think I'm getting it now. Am I right: you can code the structure and style, but the idea is to manage the content via WP dashboard? It seems like a great idea...! I imagine that this way the customers can customize the content themselves, too? I'm currently converting my regular HTML to WP functions. It's working so far, and I'm starting to realize just how useful this is! (If this didn't make any sense and I've understood the whole WP wrong, then... whoops!)
  6. Ensi - Love!!!

    Hmm the morning porridge is certainly making me feel weird...! I feel heavy and my toes and fingers tingle, and my breathing's a bit shallow. I also got some red spots, and I'm bloated T__T ... this sounds bad. I'm not giving up just yet, though: I'm trying overnight oats tomorrow morning. I've prepared the oats in the microwave, so they haven't had much time to absorb the water - I hope that letting them soak overnight makes some difference. I can eat some oat bread easily, it's just the porridge that gives me a hard time. It's a very tasty breakfast, and I hope I can get used to it If not, I'm thinking of starting my morning with some fruit and quark / cottage cheese, and having an omelette later on. I just need something new, because my regular breakfast is getting booooriiiiing. The course on modelling information systems started today, and I already made some new friends! ... well OK, we're making a group work together, so we might hate each other soon But it was nice to get back to studies. I saw someone who looked exactly like HC, and it was a bit hard for me. I guess this will just get better with time. I think getting to know new people on the courses I'm taking will help, too. I actually went to meet some math people (le gasp!) to buy some materials I need for a course next week, and they seemed like a nice bunch. They have a room where you can go do your math homework together with your friends and get help! I might use that possibility. I did my favourite Yoga with Adriene video in the morning, and I'm gonna do some other video in the evening. I'm basically on vacation now that I turned the thesis in The weather is lovely, and I went for a short walk after lunch. Hmm I might try and create my own WordPress theme today just to play around with it. I hope you're all having a lovely day today
  7. Kamar-Taj Gonna Ranger: The Doctor Strange Themed Mini Challenge

    Hmm I couldn't think of anyone I'd be super angry with, but when I thought about some things that have been going on, I did find some things and people that make me frustrated. It was good to get it out of my head
  8. Ensi - Love!!!

    It's been a good day I got my push-up training done in the morning: 6 - 6 - 5, and Bulgarian split squats: 6 - 5 - 5. I spent the morning cooking, and later on I went for a bike trip. The weather is getting colder, but the sun was shining and it was nice to get some fresh air I picked up a couple of books from the library (The Martian - I'm gonna start reading it soon!), and stopped by the store to get some groceries. All in all I was on the move for an hour and a half. I bought snickerdoodle protein powder that one of my fav Youtubers uses, and it tastes really nice! I'm gonna try it with oatmeal tomorrow morning. I felt OK after my breakfast - there was some slight weird feelings, but I only took half a portion of oatmeal so it wasn't too bad. I'm gonna keep doing this for a week to see if my body adjusts to having oatmeal in the morning. Later on, my friend called me, and we went for a walk that lasted two hours. So, it's been a rather active day...! Mid-cycle shenanigans are making my muscles a bit tired and I'm a bit sadder than normally, but it helps me to remember that this is pretty normal for this time of the month. I try not to react to sad thoughts that might come up, and I focus on doing nice things. And getting enough rest! I took a nap, and I'm gonna start reading the book soon. Mom called, and we sorted out a couple of things. It's all good now She'd be happy if I travelled to Winterfell next week, but I really feel like staying home right now. Maybe I kinda want to keep some distance to Winterfell in order to feel more connected to my own life and making my own decisions, you know, so that my parents don't influence me so much. I appreciate that I have such a close connection to my family, but I'd like to take some distance to go solo for a while. I've somehow changed, and I want to get to know myself a bit better again. Maybe take myself to the movies I want to see the new Blade Runner, and the Kingsmen sequel... Push-up progression 14th October: 5 - 5 - 4 16th: 5 - 5 - 5 18th: 6 - 5 - 5 22nd: 6 - 6 - 5 The next one will be... one hell of a workout D8<
  9. Ensi - Love!!!

    I actually just thought it was a random insult (I love random, nonsensical insults), but I Googled around and: From IMDB :DD ED; Aaaand on Youtube:
  10. Deffy # 35 - Triple Threat

    Pet peeves! 1. When people sneeze in their hands while they're using public computers. Kill me. 2. When people ask me for advice, and tell me "no, I can't do it like that" to everything I suggest, and then keep looking at me like I'm gonna give them something better T_____T 3. I think this is a newly discovered one: when my friends talk highly of their new boyfriends and then say, "and I'm such a boring idiot compared to him". I also discovered a whole new level of rage when my friend told me she has ADD, but "my boyfriend said that I'm perfect just as I am <3 I guess I just have to learn to love myself!" as if she wouldn't get help. I went from zen to Hulk in... well, it was an instant change. I could continue, but, you know, I can't show that I am an enormous green rage monster.
  11. Ensi - Love!!!

    ... the breakfast was delicious: oatmeal with quark, cottage cheese, banana and peanut butter. I was super focused, because it was nice to try out something different I used half the amount of oats to see how my stomach likes them, but they're different from what I've used before. I've had "jumbo oats", and now I just have regular ones All in all, I'm happy to start this experiment. I'm more satisfied mentally, which means that I won't go and snack on this or that later on. Besides, 1 kg of oats costs 1 euro and that's so cheap I can't EVEN. I felt bad in the evening. I had an unpleasant moment at the library where some older man hinted that he might message me about something "not library related". I helped him with using the computer and I was stuck with him for a long time arrrarRRRGGHHHHHHHH Other than that, work was lovely When I got home, I called Mom to chat. There are some things going on with Mom that have bothered me a lot, but most of them stem from the fact that we stay in touch too often. I'm going to turn it down a bit, maybe call twice a week at first. I felt really bad after the call and wanted to cry (OK this might be mid-cycle shenanigans), but I turned my focus on the WordPress book I borrowed from the library. It has clear instructions, and it's helping me to grasp how WP works WP seems pretty awesome, actually. I'm super happy to get deeper into it! Sleep was good, and I'm going to have a fun day today I've felt a bit run down after a rather exciting week, but I hope to squeeze in a light workout - maybe yoga? I'm not going to push myself with push-ups until I feel better, but light exercise is always good My mood's been good, and the sudden possibility to get a computer science degree feels unreal. I haven't wanted something this bad in a long time, and it's hard to believe that it's real...! It feels too easy? But I have worked hard, and now I can use that hard work as a stepping stone towards new things. Yay! All in all, I am happy that I have succeeded in turning my focus from what didn't work to the things that might work. Now I have a new goal, a goal which I believe will benefit me greatly in the future.
  12. Owlet Conquers All

    I hope you enjoy the birthday cake!
  13. Ensi - Love!!!

    Ohhhh myyyyyyy. I need to go to the store to get some breakfast ingredients...! Thanks, Terah! I mix eggs with chocolate protein powder and make a mug cake that way There are other ingredients like banana and a dash of salt + milk, too. Coconut milk is probably something I should look into - I'm not sure if I'm still uneasy having milk because it's not paleo. It's not an easy thing to challenge the food police... The thing is that I am still a bit agitated about carbs, grain and dairy! But it would make my life a lot cheaper and easier if I learned to eat oatmeal, for example. But if I eat a big bowl, my digestion goes crazy. If I wanted to eat oatmeal, I should take a week to make my daily portion gradually bigger Like, I know now that carbs just fuel me and give me sooo much more energy, but it's still so hard to let go of the "carbs are evil!!" thing I had going on for years. Hmm. How about a mini challenge for me: quark and oats with fruit for breakfast every morning for the next week? Oh pointing me to the right direction is all that I asked for! Internet is filled with tutorials, and you helped me a lot by helping me find the useful ones I borrowed a WordPress book from the library today. I think it could help me understand some things that I think I kinda understand... but don't. Haha. I love learning about it, though, because WordPress seems to be everywhere, and I understand that it has huge advantages! Yess we got this recovery thing I'm gonna do that breakfast challenge for the next week...! Quark is filled with protein, oats are delicious, and ohh I'd love to have them with banana. I'm gonna take a short evening walk to the store to get some ingredients now
  14. Ensi - Love!!!

    Yay!! Wait... if we all just follow each other, where are we going, exactly? Are we like a flock of birds? That looks cool, so it's probably us. ** The exam went OK... I guess After the exam, I had lunch with a friend, who also studies linguistics and technology, and told her about my plan with the master's degree. She thought it was a good idea, and we talked about it some more. When I was talking with her, I realized that the reason I've been so hesitant to dream about studying more is because I took computer science without an entrance exam. I've thought that somehow it means that I am not good enough to study it?? It sounds weird, I know, but there are so many people talking about how difficult computer science is that I've thought that I've just been lucky to pass my classes with such high grades. But hey, guess who's changing?? I've decided to let go of those limiting thoughts: I am enough, and I am capable of learning everything I need to know. I can ask for guidance and help, and every time I do that, I learn more. This is a field where there is always something new to learn, so I can just get used to not knowing things. My plan is to focus on web development and design, and the master's degree offers wonderful possibilities to learn about educational technology and game development. I haven't been this excited and happy in a long time! I was tired yesterday after all the exciting things that have happened this week, so I lay in bed all evening I did go for a walk with a friend, but other than that, I just relaxed and let my body recharge itself. I've just had breakfast, and I'm thinking of sleeping some more before I go to work. I have a shift from 10 to 4, and then I'm just gonna keep resting. I'm super tired of my regular breakfast (a chocolate mug cake). Do you have any nice suggestions? I like a sweet breakfast, and not with too many grains