Whisper

Logging food as accurately as possible is a success unto itself. Walking and getting active minutes isn't about losing weight, it is about improving just about every other physical and mental health metric. I would just really like some relationship between what I'm doing, and what the scale says, but staying more focused on long term trends then individual weeks.

Your father strikes me as a man of refinement and taste, so I must assume that he goes for the fancy measuring spoons for his bathroom needs. That's like what, $16 a set? And he's screaming because HE dropped one in the toilet? Like, the only way I could understand screaming in this situation would be if someone dropped it im the toilet and then returned it to the kitchen. But it lives in the bathroom? Replace it and move on with your life man! Sadly, I am fairly sure you're still stuck here on Earth.

I spent the whole first spoiler trying to spot the dead salmon...

Week of Thanksgiving I was off work, and therefore much less active, and mostly off my meal plan. I expected to gain weight and instead lost a bunch. Last week, I was mostly on track with food, and much more active. I gained back almost everything I lost the week before. I'm still down a little over the last two weeks, but I'm back above target for this week. It is frustrating. Walking was excused Monday as I had to be at work 2.5 hours early. Walked 1 block two days I was running a bit late, and 2 blocks the other two days. Had a bit of a walk trying to find a restaurant Saturday. Did some extra walking inside a grocery store today. Saturday was the company Christmas party. Started feeling panicky leading up to it, but went any way. I don't do well with lots of conversations around me, so worked on focusing on the table I was at. It was hard, but mostly good, and I am happy I went. After church today, had a small group lunch. Was tempted to skip, too much social already, but I skip it too much, so went. It was good. 3 couples plus myself, so really just one conversations, and I could mostly just listen until asked a question. I'm not good at jumping in to conversations. Tonight I reasserted a boundary with a member of the group. She knows I don't want my birthday acknowledged, so she makes a bit of a production of not mentioning it "here's a little cupcake for not-your-birthday". It feels like I've asked her not to point to something, so she's drawing a circle around it instead. So I texted her that. She apologized and said she'd stay away from it.

Good luck with the hoof trimming tomorrow!

My big, long term, overarching goal is to be under 300 lbs on my 40th birthday. To do this, I need to lose an average of 1.6 lbs / week, for roughly the next year. I currently weigh 379.8 lbs; 377lbs on Dec 23rd would be on long term target, but I'm hoping to be closer to 373lbs. Goals for this Challenge 1. Continue to log food. Most of what I'm eating is from BistroMD, but there is always other stuff added and logging helps me keep on track. 2. Walk 15 minutes every morning. This isn't for weight loss, but for better overall health. The solution to every mental and physical health problem I have seems to be "lose weight, get 150 minutes of moderate activity every week". A morning walk gets me 70% of the way to that goal. Liking the idea of walking around two blocks to get to my car, so making that the default, but should that not be feasible (winter is setting in) walk a few laps inside at work before starting my shift.

Things that NEED to happen TODAY Wash all the laundry (first load already started) Done Sign up for benefits at work Seriously thinking about the high deductible plan, math on this is freakish, but if I spend a lot on healthcare next year, it would be cheaper. Done~ish. Signed up for PPO, but might change depending on answer to some questions tomorrow. I think the HSA plan is better long term, but there is a risk of getting hit with all of the deductible when I refill my narcolepsy med next month. Might be worth working on saving up for the deductible this next year, and changing plans next open enrollment. Shower / shave (after laundry; limited water pressure) Done Things I would like to have happen today Fold / hang / put away clean laundry All hanging stuff hung, folding not done collapse and put away all banker boxes Collapsed and put away lids, boxes still need doing. play my violin for 10 minutes change sheets on bed fill box with books I don't want to keep Take out recycling Done Take out trash Done~ish. Took out two bags. Bonus Points: Took a walk around the block!

Went off a cliff, still recovering. Decided to skip going to painting yesterday. Decided to ship going to church this morning. (honestly thinking I might have some agoraphobia) Went to start laundry and realized I haven't opened my front door in a few days (almost tripped over the cat food I forgot to bring in) Walks haven't been happening. Additional goals for my days off: Go for 5 x 15 minute walks every day. Aiming for 7:50, 9:50, 11:50, 1:50 and 3:50. This will also hit my hourly step goals. First few days were good, then zero Spend at least 15 minutes each day studying Spanish Didn't hit 15 minutes every day, but done at least a little bit Watch at least 1 movie in Spanish Not too late to make this happen, but probably won't. Spend time painting at least once This happened Play violin at least once Not too late to make this happen Things I have achieved: Got all boxes full of books onto bookshelves First pass through all boxes of stuff, now taking fewer boxes. Living room is still a huge mess, but I feel like I'm so much closer on it. Things that NEED to happen TODAY Wash all the laundry (first load already started) Sign up for benefits at work Seriously thinking about the high deductible plan, math on this is freakish, but if I spend a lot on healthcare next year, it would be cheaper. Shower / shave (after laundry; limited water pressure) Things I would like to have happen today Fold / hang / put away clean laundry collapse and put away all banker boxes play my violin for 10 minutes change sheets on bed fill box with books I don't want to keep Take out recycling Take out trash

Weight doesn't make a bit of sense to me. This last week, I've been less active than normal, like, a lot less active. I haven't been following my meal plan at all. I expected to get on my scale and see my weight up this morning. Instead I'm down 6.4 lbs. Like how? How does that even work? I was about a week behind my weight goal, now I'm two weeks ahead. Oct 14 393 393 Oct 21 391.4 385.6 Oct 28 389.8 390 Nov 4 388.2 388.8 Nov 11 386.6 387.2 Nov 18 385 386.2 Nov 25 383.4 379.8 Dec 2 381.8 Dec 9 380.2 Dec 16 378.6 Graph

I've head a flurry of activity today and made some real progress. Got most of the boxes full of books stuffed onto shelves. Doing first pass sorting on boxes of stuff and getting it compressed. Still a big mess, but have more room to move. Also, finally changed insurance policies; should have done this months ago, rate was really high with Maggie, but I just didn't want to deal with it. Dealt with it; going to be saving about $370/month on car insurance.

Stayed home today. Had other options, but decided a while ago that I didn't want to deal with Thanksgiving. It was ok, had q quite day. Got a headache and don't really know what to do with myself, so going to bed early. Took headache stuff and sleep meds. Brushed and flossed. Practiced Spanish. Good night

I am less not ok. I went to painting. Someone put a bag on one of them, but I think I fixed it ok. My brother called. We talked. He thinks I should look for a psychiatric nurse practitioner. He's gonna call me more often.

A conversation with my brother. In bed crying right now. Need to go to sleep. I got exactly the news I wanted today but it still hurts so much.