Whisper

This week has taken a lot of spoons. Today has been a mess as well. Yoga hasn't happened, but holding most things together. 

My new manager is going to retire at the end of this month. Kind of feels like I got promoted to the position I've been filling, just in time to have a whole bunch more stuff heaped on me.

2 hours ago, Rookie said:

Hey  good job on your colours! Lots of green!  Oh and congrats on the promotion, you deserve it

Thank you.

2 hours ago, Rookie said:

Loving the paintings. I do like the one you don't know if you like. Maybe whats bothering you is the horizon line? 

I kind of like my wonky horizon line. I mean, Picasso couldn't paint a straight line, why should I? 

I'm not really happy with how the water turned out, and the sky is too much of a line.  Got some thoughts on how I might do it differently, but my painting teacher want's to work with me on it.

1 hour ago, Chesire said:

I count it as successful for lots of reasons but mostly because I always knew I was still doing it, even when I couldn't get back to it for a few weeks. I never actually quit.

Not only a win, that's metal!

I'm here.

I'm doing ok on most fronts. People keep buying me drinks, so yellows not greens there.

Work running extra, so no yoga yet this week, but still good on walking. 

I'll try and update and post my grid tomorrow, but wanted to post at least something before going to bed tonight. 

On 9/11/2022 at 8:33 PM, Jupiter said:

I have no plans, no goals, no nothing, except for trying to be here.

Getting back and being here can be the biggest challenge of all. 

Had a meeting with HR manager and my manager; promotion finally went through.  Lead Maintenance Technician, making an extra $4/hour. Not going to change what I'm doing much, but nice to have it formally recognized and compensated.

2 hours ago, fleaball said:

Really don’t want to shower despite needing to.

I feel this far more than I would like. I don't understand it at all, even got a little note reminding me that I'll feel better if I just get in the shower, but still it gets procrastinated. Finally took it, feeling lots better for it.

Hoping that you were able to find something you could do and feel better for having done.

Did two laps around my building yesterday (1 mile)

Got out early this morning and enjoyed wondering around the neighborhood. 26 minutes, 1.3 miles.

13 minutes ago, fleaball said:

That’s why the to do list for later tonight includes showering and various pampering things, since I’ll be too dead to do anything else. 

Good plan 

Not sure if I like this one.

Worked on painting. 

Finished yesterday strong. Was gifted a starbucks drink this morning, so starting avoid sugary at yellow today.

Two laps around the outside of my building is 1 mile. Did that yesterday and today.

5 hours ago, Rookie said:

  Reveal hidden contents

In other news I am low key stressing because I am definitely thinking its about time I move Daisy. I don't really want to get into it too much but basically grass has stopped growing back in June or July because of the drought and there isn't enough hay being put out for the number of horses we have. Everyone is slowly losing weight. And once round bales do go out I suspect Daisy's allergies will flare up again because there are a few horses already coughing from the little bit of hay they have gotten. AND I am waiting to hear back from the vet about Daisy to see if I need to make an appointment for her because she had clumps of calcium in her urine come out which is abnormal (its normal for them to pee out excess calcium, but not for it to be clumps) or if I can wait until her teeth are being done in a few weeks. And my barn owner was judging me for getting a 4th dog which I was prepared for.. and I know there are a few others that will as well because it IS crazy but talk about me behind my back like a normal person and pretend to be happy to my face lol. 

 

I'm sorry that people are being sucky. I hope you get a good solution for you and Daisy.

Map my walk says that going around the outside of my building is just a bit over half a mile. Did that twice this morning for a full mile.

13 hours ago, Whisper said:

But like,  in a grid, with actual colors. 

Decided to put Map My Walk on my phone so I can get a feel for distance. Looking at the screen while installing, first thing under "Similar Apps" was Dumb Ways to Die

Clearly, this challenge is more dangerous than we first thought!

Kind of a meta goal for this challenge; find some good nature trails to walk/hike near my home. I discovered a love for it at my last place,  but before Monday, hadn't gone in the year and a half since I moved. Need to find places I could stop at on my way home and get back into it.

Wasn't feeling well Tuesday, but got out and did a loop around a couple blocks in the pre-dawn cool. 

At work today got outside and circled the building. 

Not a lot of distance, but was still proud of myself for getting outside. 

Should be 10 degrees cooler tomorrow, and another 10 degrees cooler Friday, so hoping to go a bit more.

I want to have one of those neat little grids with the goals and days and colors to quickly see how I'm going, but while I don't have the spoons to make that right now,  that doesn't mean I can't write out my goals.

I like green/yellow/red because it feels like giving myself more grace, and a chance to recover from a slip without saying  "screwed it up, might as well go all out!"

1. Be active on the forum. Green for posting, yellow for lurking, red for no show. 

2. Fill my water bottle first thing in the morning. Yellow if later in day, red if not filled. If I fill it, I drink water, if I don't fill it, I tend to get soda.

3. Avoid sugary drinks. Green is none, yellow is some (small from drive-thru) red is lots.

4. Eat vegetables with dinner. Not sure how to gradient this...

5. Walk outside every day. Again, no minimum, so no scale. 

6. Do yoga 3 times a week. Aiming for MWF, but flexible. Going to be using a disc I first found in college called "Yoga Conditioning for Weight-loss". Absolutely the best beginner yoga video I've found. Has 4 workout levels you can choose from, depending on level of flexibility. Yellow for just starting it, green for completing the first section (about 15 minutes) 

Yesterday would be.

1. Green 

2. Yellow 

3. Yellow 

4. Red

5. Green

6. Gray

Today would be:

1. Green 

2. Green 

3. Yellow 

4. Green 

5. Green 

6. Green 

But like,  in a grid, with actual colors. 

Tuesday didn't really happen. Woke up with a bad headache and feeling sick to the stomach. Tried getting up for work; failed. Called in and spent most of the day in my nice dark bedroom. Did manage to get out for a walk in the morning,  just around a couple of blocks.

Today, still had a lingering headache but made it to work. Wanted to stick with the walking challenge, but new I wasn't going to walk in the 105 degree heat when I got home from work, so walked around the building while it was still cooler. Did a little bit of yoga too. Had sugar snap peas with dinner. Doing well on my mentally formed but not yet typed goals...

My most recently completed painting 

Three paintings started this weekend 

Imma word salad now. Maybe at some point I clean it up, most likely I don't.

I've been thinking a lot recently about who I really am, who I spend most of my time being, and who I want to be.

Most of the time I'm a stressed out worker with probably depression and maybe narcolepsy. I'm so tired all the time that the mere thought of doing something outside of work is almost violently rejected by my mind. I'm also realising that I am psychologically incapable of looking forward to things. Even things I know I will enjoy, or be happy I went to, are looked at with mild dread. I never actually WANT to do anything.

So the world keeps getting smaller. I do to work and I go home and I go to work and I go home ad infinitum. This challenge, I want to focus on cultivating  the truth of who I really am, and breaking free of the rut.

I am an artist and a musician. (and it would be awesome to someday support myself that way)

I am mostly highly reserved, and occasionally bombastic (especially with bell choir) 

I am delightfully queer, and you can choose the definition you like, be it modern or archaic 

I am not a sinner trespassing in the garden of an angry God.

I am a prodigal come home; fully seen and deeply loved.

Most relevant to this challenge:

I am someone that loves getting out and walking in nature.

I like the way I feel when I do yoga.

I enjoy eating vegetables.

I feel so much better when I drink water.

I've got a plan for turning those into goals, but it is late, and I am tired and back to work tomorrow, so I'm going to hit submit so this doesn't get lost and finish it up upon the morrow. 

Oh my goodness! She is unspeakably adorable!