Segev

I'm actually highly competitive, and a dreadfully bad loser, which is part of why I hate it. Because I always, always, lose if there's physical activity involved. Well, unless I compete against little kids or something, but you know what I mean. I simply am not athletic, and lack any talent for athleticism that would let me keep up or come close to matching anybody else doing something similarly athletic. New people joining sports activities might start "worse" than me, but they're better within a month. I know I don't like running. It gets back to physical exhaustion and feeling sick, only now adds having to limp back home while feeling sick to the problems of any sort of stationary workout. I'm obviously not DevilSlayerDante, but I do listen to podcasts while and when I force myself to work out. It helps a little, but the desire to focus on the podcast often leaves me with more excuse to wait between exercises. And exercising takes too long as it is. x_x It's too miserable to want to spend my idle time on. I wish I knew where this supposed endorphin rush is meant to kick in. At least then I'd probably have something other than self-loathing to push me into the miserable slog that is a workout.

For me, it's physical misery and boredom, with a hefty touch of frustration if it's any sort of physical skill test, because I never notice improvement in them. The latter. The frustration would lessen if I could get good at some of them, but the problem is that I don't. I have participated in sports and the like (mostly as a youth) that my parents forced me to actually attend regularly, and I never got any good at them. I was always noticeably the worst player on the team and the most common loser in any grouping. It wasn't fun. "Every physical activity I can imagine and have time/money to afford" covers it for me. A minimum of an hour drive-time to get to something means I don't have time to actually do it on weekdays, and I somehow doubt "weekend warrior"ing anything would be worthwhile. Especially something I don't actively look forward to.

Eh, maybe. You're grossly overestimating how much I enjoy swimming. If I enjoyed it enough to be worth that kind of time commitment, I probably would already do it. It'd probably become another sink of money on a membership in something I never use. I work... hrm. Including the second job during school weeks, just about 45 hours a week. Adding another two hours to three days... plus the irritation of driving soaking wet or of using (ugh) public showers... MAYBE I could talk myself into it. I suppose it won't hurt to look into semi-public pools again and see what the closest indoor one is. (Outdoor is right out; too many ways it can be closed to give an excuse not to go.) When I actually swam regularly, I was 12ish, and was on a swim team that practiced in the mornings daily. I know I don't have the time commitment for that, nor the interest in competing (because losing will make me pissed off and unpleasant to be around, and I will lose), but maybe I can convince myself I can push for enough time spent in the water to make the trip worth it. Maybe. >_< Worst case, I waste a month's membership fees.

I envy you that. They all just make me miserable. It's not even (usually, unless I do something stupid) a pain of "ow stop this now," but rather a full-body "you dare? I shall make you sick and miserable for the rest of the day!" At BEST, if I manage it for several weeks, I stop being sick ALL day, and am just really worn out and rubbery in a way that makes me look forward to the day being over so I can collapse. The body may be meant to move, but that doesn't mean mine WANTS to. It wants to pace all day long, sure, but actually getting any real exercise in is always punished. (Like I said, if "walking" counted as exercise, I'd be a lot thinner and healthier.)

Heh. If 'walking' counted, I'd be in much better shape than I am. I walk a fair distance every day just crossing the facility where I work. Sadly, no form of exercise leaves me liking how I feel after it's done. There is, admittedly, a sense of "well, I got that over with and don't have to beat myself up for having failed to do it again for another 23 hours," but that's hardly motivational. I wish I knew why other people got "runner's highs" and "endorphins" out of it. Am I really just that weird in that I'm the only person who finds nearly all activities that qualify as "physical" a chore, at best? I used to like swimming, but unfortunately the nearest pool is a thirty minute drive away, which is not conducive to actually doing anything on a regular basis. I don't have an extra hour to devote to driving three weekdays per week on top of whatever time I'd have to put in to actually get anything out of it. Especially when I have no idea if I could really motivate myself to use it. It'd just be nice if exercising left me feeling at all good afterwards, as opposed to sick, sore, and dreading the next time I have to do it lest I fall out of the habit again. >_< Incidentally, just started doing it again. First time I've managed it twice in the same week this year. I'll just keep trying to force myself through it and hope I don't find an excuse to stop again. Ugh.

I dunno. Maybe it's just that I'm inherently lazy, but there are literally no exercise-type activities that I have tried that I actually enjoy. Everything is something I have to force myself to do. And it seems the more consistent I am about it, the harder it becomes to force myself to do it AGAIN, because it just keeps getting more and more unpleasant. Admittedly, after 4ish weeks of being consistent, I don't feel SICK after exercising, but it's still...ugh. I dread starting, look forward to being done (and for excuses to quit early), and am drained and generally feel worse for having done it that day. And since it takes apparently months to actually show anything for it, I've never managed to push myself consistently enough long enough to see anything other than, "Well, at least I'm not nauseous after exercise today," as an actual benefit. It makes it VERY easy to fall out of practice - even a cold will do it, and I tend to get more colds when I'm consistently exercising - and ever-harder to push myself back into it. I loathe sports, I don't like running or anything of the sort, "gym exercises" are a chore at best. I'm aware that this is, at this point, "an attitude problem," but it's one that forcing my way through hasn't worked on.