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About ladyofthebog

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  1. Day 61 & 62: Whispers in the Dark (basement) My husband is getting a forearm tattoo today with an artist he loves. It's been a year wait list, I can't wait to see it. I'll probably post it on here. Worked out for the past two days (back/biceps and then shoulders + hiit). I've been feeling anxious for the past two days. I'm not sure where it is coming from. Something in the air? It could be passing my test. I have this strange way of flipping good news into bad news as if I am waiting for the other shoe to drop? Is this an adult child of an alcoholic thing? Maybe it is just a human being thing. xxoo, Sophie
  2. Day 60 in the year of 2018: Short-cut to Monterey: Checking in at the airport. Flying without kids such a relaxing experience. I'm a hour early for my flight and sitting here reveling in the feeling of time stretching out in front of me. Motherhood has changed me in innumerable ways and surely one that must be mentioned is my approach towards flying. So, here I am, returning from yet another trip to California. How many times have I flown across these borders (Joni Mitchell's California is playing in reverse in my mind's stereo box). I miss the graceful hills and ocean breeze of my homeland. I miss the particularly Californian food- something so distinct yet so imprecise that I can never quite put it to words? I miss the heat of the sun cutting through the cool sea wind. Just this last weekend I was driving through Damascus, revealing in the verdant (I always appreciate this word because it was on the one SAT I took and got a perfect score while hungover. Is it sad that I am still proud of that so many years later? Don't be like me, kids, wasteful in my youth, strident), mossy landscape rushing outside my windows. Oregon is so unabashedly ALIVE, deep and dark. The beauty of where I am from is stark- not West Texas stark- but open, inviting. It's a place where people seem secondary- nestled into the crevices of the sloping hills. There is something particular about growing up next to the ocean: you learn yourself to be secondary, perhaps, aware of great depths. Control is an illusion. So, I ate a ton of sushi. Gorged on sushi. I don't have any regrets. I went to the gym with my bff, attempted to show her how to dead lift, hip thrust. I have a new appreciation for personal trainers. Cues at hard, identifying what's not working is hard. Not so hard to recognize what is working. I feel healthy these days. It's taken about five weeks but I'm the place again where my body craves exercise, my lungs want to pump. I feel like there is always a roadblock from me getting totally ripped but I also recognize I don't really care to have the discipline that it requires. My life is often about other things than tracking macros. Lately I have been struck be a few things (non-fitness related) that I thought I'd share: This one has been on my mind for months in various configurations- Humans are social beings. Our relationships are what sustain us and to deny it is not to look close enough. The very fact of frontal lobe dementia, traumatic brain injury should let us know that we are not our own. We are caught and suspended and held in a web of relations. Who we are and who we *think* we are is so much bound up in others. Not just tattooed but the very sinew of our being is formed by the doings of others. It's like the butterfly's wing and a hurricane analogy but in flesh. What happens to someone in Somalia or Shanghai doesn't just affect me when I see it but affects the course of my life! Who I am as a person relies upon so many micro-interactions that erupt into macro-consequences. I'm not sure if I am making myself clear but lately I have been thinking in a very REAL sense: I am you and you are me! What happens to one of us happens to all of us. Taking care of others, we care for ourselves. I liked to the line from a Streetcar Named Desire in my early twenties- "I've always depended on the kindness of strangers" for a few reasons. First, what a deliciously enigmatic line? What perfection in prose! Second, I did depend on the kindness of strangers often. When you are young and female and fit in with a particular aesthetic, people want to help you and, if you are flailing like I sometimes did, there are many opportunities for that. Though, like our heroine learns in Streetcar knows well, that kind of kindness may come at a price. That line means something different to me now- and it is def not what the author intended. With no sardonic tinge, I can confidently write that we all depend on the kindness of strangers. We are here because of the kindness of strangers. We are at once both at the mercy of strangers and ourselves the stranger. Kindness. That's all I got. xxooo Sophe
  3. Hello world! I'm excited to log my fitness journey. I want to be accountable and I want to share. Life has gotten off the rails lately and I want to get in charge of my now. Thank you for stopping by! April 19th Start of my journey. Here we go. Let's keep this up. Attached is me today! Today, I'm running about 2 miles to and fro the playground with my daughter, Rowan. I'm going to try to do tonight some at home booty body weight exercises. I lifted yesterday. It's a deload week and I had a lovely time at the gym. Still getting the courage up to take my daughter to the daycare there- I'm freaked out about the cesspool of germs no doubt layering every surface there. We shall see! Trying to decide whether I want to track my macros. In the past, it has contributed to some disordered eating to be frank. I'm in this to help get my mind healthy as much as my body. I've been struggling w/ depression and w/ the introduction of some pharmacological intervention as well as conscious choices and mindfulness I've been feeling a lot better. I eat pretty healthy, snack a bit because of the mom lifestyle. I meal prep for my husband's lunches, toddler food for my little 13 month old bundle of joy. I'd like to start meal prepping more for myself, too. xxoo QUEST Hobbit frame of mind daily walks/runs outside w/ the pooch, baby Rowbug, and possibly husband (if I can convince him) weekly hike weekly dinner w/ in laws, my parents, and friends finishing permitting for the TINY HOME!! Fitness life GYM 3x/week (continue Strong by Bret program Hip thrust 3x10: 155p in one month squat 3x3: 145p in one month Run x2 week w/ family Elven Studies lecture/reading x2 per week