ladyofthebog

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Everything posted by ladyofthebog

  1. *So, before we begin: this title is kind of a misnomer as I am not planning on becoming an assassin for the Many-faced God in Westeros. Nope, staying staunchly ranger/druid hybrid over here. I, have, however been thinking a lot about identity, personality, and self. Particularly, I've been thinking and feeling hard on the concept of what lies below the self and how projections of personality relate or do not relate to that foundational self. I've spent a lot of time with dead and dying people over the past years and I've got a lot of wisdom locked up in my psyche to process. Questions I've been grappling with: 1) What roles do I identify with and how do these roles combine to conceptualize a theory of self and personality? 2) What are ways (short of like, a wild mushroom trip in the desert) to shed those conceptions of self? a) are there ceremonies for such a thing? where there once? can we make new ones? b) how long can we live in this liminal space 3) What is left behind? how do we reintegrate? I like to think big :p. Plus, I've been thinking about my workouts as more functional lately. Rather than just seeing how much I could lift or considering aesthetics as I have done in the past, I've been thinking about what I could do with the strength, moves I am practicing while I am doing it. This is kind of embarrassing but I'll even imagine fantastical scenarios in my head while I am doing a certain exercises! Being a faceless woman assassin seems like an appropriate role for that. The other stuff I want to do that doesns't really fit in with the faceless man motif is r/t getting into the body and celebrating it like the temple that it is. I'm a pretty sensual, feminine person and I want to make a point of living deliciously. My spirit animal will be Inara Serra from Firefly and whomever strikes my fancy. My last challenges have all been Hobbit related which is great because HOBBITS but I'd like to make a point of expressing my more refined self as well! Logistics of challenge: * WISDOM: Explore the dynamics of the many-faced (wo)man by journaling and listening to Alan Watts/Ram Das lectures. * DEXTERITY/STRENGTH: 6 workouts/week. Track weights. Yoga x 3 week * CHARISMA: Do something purely sensual for sensuality's sake every damn day; share music on this piece Cheers, y'all! xxoo Sophie
  2. ladyofthebog

    Simple & [Sloth]-like

    I love that dog and adore you all for caring for foster pups! Following and I just wanted to thank you so much for always providing support on my challenges. Feels niiiceeee
  3. ladyofthebog

    LadyoftheBog is Faceless (Wo)man While Also Channeling Inara Serra

    Significantly improved day thanks to walk with my mum and Ro but then learned that my dad went to the ER yesterday and didn’t tell me because I “have to much on (my) plate.” always tell me of ER visits! Sigh. I do feel somewhat relieved as the law of threes is now fulfilled!! Trouble comes in threes and just in time for the super moon
  4. ladyofthebog

    LadyoftheBog is Faceless (Wo)man While Also Channeling Inara Serra

    Whoops, that posted twice... apropos to the day, I suppose: Shit Drizzle (as in regards to storm aforementioned above) Thank you all for your support. It feels good to have this little pub of friends on a back alleyway in this little corner of the internet. Appreciate y'all. Today was another less than optimal happening. I had the shadow experience for the job I interviewed for a weeks ago. Did not go well. This job would be for the certification I've been working on for the past few years. It would be in a new role for me though I have done many of the components for the job in previous work as an RN in womens and childrens services. The RN that I followed was just... incredibly negative: negative about the job itself, negative about me being able to do it (without years of experience), just negative. We were supposed to see clients but they all canceled so that I spent three hours being grilled like I was on a hibachi grill. The upshot is that I think I did well! I comported myself with integrity- i was honest about what I did and didn't have experience with. I did the best I could. Unfortunately, I now wonder whether I want this job and whether I would be a good fit. By the end of the three hour marathon of grilling, I suspect that the RN at least thought I was smart, kind and likely competent but she still believes that this position should be held by someone with experience (she has twenty years) because we work as independent clinicians- different than a lot of RN roles. THEN WHY DID YOU HAVE ME IN TO GRILL for three hours, I may ask, but alas I don''t like to make waves. When I explained to her that I work largely independently now handling emergency hospice situations and actively dying patients in their homes or in facilities in highly unique and changeable conditions so I was accustomed to working independently, I think she liked that... the problem is that I don't even know if I want the job anymore. I worry that I am goldilocks of the job world. Should I keep holding out for the best job for me?I can see it out there, on the horizon but it's blurry and maybe it's not a job at all but a cactus or cow (I am now imagining myself as a cowgirl, obviously). It's PRN (as in 1-2 days a week and as needed so I am cut if needs are low) so it isn't a huge commitment. Much thinking to be done over the next few days. Maybe they won't even want to hire me and the decision will be made for me! going to do cardio now before picking up the beastling. xxoo, Sophe
  5. ladyofthebog

    LadyoftheBog is Faceless (Wo)man While Also Channeling Inara Serra

    should we rename it brushetta? i don't think kids would be into that. true about the fire part! i didn' treally think of it that way but undoubtedly so. i love that movie. thank you for reminding me! she's not quite gg status but her health needs to be a priority. it's all just so hard. do you make it to order? kidding. don't make resentment soup, not good for business, you know what story i've been so happy to rediscover with my daughter? stone soup. what a wonderful story! and thank you for your always support, rusk. i appreciate it and follow along with your challenges despite it may not appearing so! thank you, sir wiles! yeah, i hope that we can do nudge nudges into a better place. thank you for your support.
  6. ladyofthebog

    LadyoftheBog is Faceless (Wo)man While Also Channeling Inara Serra

    should we rename it brushetta? i don't think kids would be into that. true about the fire part! i didn' treally think of it that way but undoubtedly so. i love that movie. thank you for reminding me! she's not quite gg status but her health needs to be a priority. it's all just so hard. do you make it to order? kidding. don't make resentment soup, not good for business, you know what story i've been so happy to rediscover with my daughter? stone soup. what a wonderful story! and thank you for your always support, rusk. i appreciate it and follow along with your challenges despite it may not appearing so! thank you, sir wiles! yeah, i hope that we can do nudge nudges into a better place. thank you for your support.
  7. ladyofthebog

    LadyoftheBog is Faceless (Wo)man While Also Channeling Inara Serra

    work out done and feeling GREAT. man, i love moving me boddyyyyy
  8. ladyofthebog

    LadyoftheBog is Faceless (Wo)man While Also Channeling Inara Serra

    End of Week: In Which All Goes to Shit and I AM VERY HONEST ABOUT IT INTERNET I feel like there is going to be a lot of shit in this post. Is cursing kosher here? WELL THERE IS GOING TO BE A LOT OF SCATALOGICAL LANGUAGE here because omg. So, on Saturday the 6th workout/week did not transpire because directly following some *ahem* quality time knowing Dr L (thank you, child nap) we get a call from in-laws that my husband's mother has fallen down the stairs. We live pretty close so I zipped right over. My MIL is young, she was a teen parent, but, unfortunately, a large woman so we ended up having to call the fire departments and paramedics to get her out to what ended up being an ambulance. I spent the rest of the day into the night with her at the hospital. When I got home, I ate sad pizza (like the saddest) that Dr L had ordered and I picked the cheese off of because, fucking dairy. Is it even pizza then or is it just sad tomato bread? Well, anyway, it made me feel like crap. The upside/downside of eating healthy is that shitty food makes you feel even more shitty, I have found. Moving on next day, my husband pissed me off because he wanted me to call in sick to work. Mind you, I work only once a week and my husband always wants me to call in sick. He also "forgot" that I had a phone interview the other week and I was left hanging trying to do the call and take care of the chick at the same time so I had that lingering resentment simmering in my resentment soup. I try to explain that I take my job seriously and that I have a bunch of people (including dying people) counting on me literally every time I work. That said, I feel like I'm trying to eat my cake and have it to, I suppose. I'm grateful that I technically don't have to work but I like having the opportunity to help people, I like feeling my brain juices flow, and I like to feel my impact on the world. I just wish he would take my work seriously and somehow that means taking ME seriously in my mind. So, the work day was actually fine. I attended one death, help manage the pain and discomfort for someone who was actively dying, had the opportunity to help a family find something meaningful to connect with their actively dying relative (reading the bible to her), and had a man hold my hand who was otherwise non-responsive. GOOD STUFF. So, today, I've been trying to tend for my in-laws and deal with a very pissed off toddler. I think my in-laws are more grumpy tbh. They don't deal with difficulty well and have trouble caring for themselves in the best of times. I feel shitty even typing that but I guess I need to get it off my chest. My MIL is having difficulty getting up and moving which makes it so very hard. It really puts into perspective why a healthy way of life is so very important. She has trouble getting around as it is and this injury has just brought to light how much we need to put her healthy as a priority. It's the unspoken thing in our family. We don't talk about her health because it's such a sensitive subject even though we all really want to... I am hoping this terrible crisis makes an opportunity for that. Just a little more activity, just a little more healthy foods would really change her life anyway, i am going to get a workout today and keep on keeping on. correspondences: all the water puns please. i'm pretty good at getting things done, it is my mind that is the problem! recovering over-achiever over here (roll call, who else is with me?????) hmm... I love difficult to understand things much more fun than easy to understand things!! I'll check it out I think that they are good because they are usually more in real time updates. Proper challenge updates are more like checking things off a list (or at least for me)- therefore, way less entertaining. Is it rigid? Working out a shit ton comes second nature at this point and, like, fuck, I HOPE I can do at least one sensual thing every day. I think that it seems rigid when looked back on and less when actually doing it. and, to be honest, the sensuality thing has more to do with mindfulness than anything else. I want to take time to appreciate the wonder that it is this body and how it feels more often rather than constantly trying to change and improve. Like right now, I'm thinking about how incredibly sensual the soft mohair sweater I am wearing is and how it feels on my skin (like gentle angelic spiders!). all of this said, your comment made me go check into the great tome of Sophie's past and I came up with some interesting insights that I'll share sometime!
  9. ladyofthebog

    Farflight wants more...life...

    late to party! enjoying reading your challenge so far. second the issue with ibuprofen (motrin is what people know as the brand name). hard on the stomach and can actually interfere with muscle growth apparently.
  10. ladyofthebog

    LadyoftheBog is Faceless (Wo)man While Also Channeling Inara Serra

    Mid--Week Update:: * WISDOM: Explore the dynamics of the many-faced (wo)man by journaling and listening to Alan Watts/Ram Dass lectures. This is one of my favorite Ram Dass' lectures. I listened to it again this week while puttering around the house. When I think about how this man has changed my life, I think about the whole web of causes and reactions. I think about how we are related in large and small ways. I *try* to go out of my way to be kind to people I meet because I believe that we are all living in one big lake. Our actions disturb the surface building together and making waves. Those waves can be forces for good or for suffering but the point is that one action leads to another and another, so intertwined that we can't see the pattern of it. Some small kindness can avert a disaster or save a life somewhere down the line. Anyway, when I think about Ram Dass and what he has done for me (or anyone I've learned so much from) I think about waves and how all can live that way. 10:10 onward is good. (the myth of success; joy is not a checklist) * DEXTERITY/STRENGTH: 6 workouts/week. Track weights. Yoga x 3 week HEY! On track this week to finish strong with 6 workouts. Only clocked in yogax2 and once was with my daughter and a weiner dog puppy literally climbing all over me but it happened. * CHARISMA: Do something purely sensual for sensuality's sake every damn day; share music on this piece M: massage for Dr L (what I've decided to call my husband on here. Not terribly creative but...) The key to doing something nice for my husband is not to ask him! Is this a dude thing?? He'll never say yes to something for himself if I ask him- I just have to do it! T: shower after working out (ahem, I workout just about everyday in the middle of the day. This means I spend half the day a sweaty mess usually. Begone with that!) and using lovely shower products that have been moldering in the back of our cabinets. bath W: Nighttime routine down. I've been practicing abhyanga (fancy way of saying oil self massage), doing a face care routine- including retinol which I recommend to anyone above thirty tbh, hand cream, a lavender salve I made, and putting on some essential oils into the diffuser. I love nighttime after the chick has gone to sleep. It's the only time all day that is wholly mine. Th: took a bath (admittedly with my daughter because, that's the reality) in the middle of the day. My legs are now shaved and I love the feeling of rubbing them together. Thank you all for keeping up!
  11. ladyofthebog

    LadyoftheBog is Faceless (Wo)man While Also Channeling Inara Serra

    Salutations: i'll send over! do you have an instapot perchance? If not, no biggie as I changed up the recipe I used to do it with the instapot! Tonight I made golden lentil soup (fancy words for tumeric lentils) which is a recipes I adore too. I can send that along too if you are curious! i have for sure thought about wrecking people's shiz before while lifting weights. Also, when running? I'm glad to know I'm not alone and I would love to read a thread of what people imagine while working out! Mind is a powerful ally for sure. DUDE, that would be awesome to link my workout into some kind of narrative. You know, funny you should mention Princess Bride, I was contemplating crafting this here thread for a Princess Bride themed challenge! the child slept until 6 am this morning! I feel grand! Children, consumers of sleep. Right now, the little Rowboat is napping away peacefully. I even want to go peek in and watch her sleep but best not to wake her... I'm not technically a vegan- I recently stopped dairy because I am convinced it doesn't do my GI any favors. I've been a vegetarian/pescaterian for a very long time. I figure I don't eat anything I couldn't kill? I don't mind going fishing so I'll eat fish! Plus, it's so very healthy... I'm convinced it is partly why my Filipino side of the family lives such long healthy lives? I mean, a lot of confounding factors but the healthy diet of fish and veg couldn't hurt either. Anyways, this is a ramble to say that cooking vegan food is VERY fun because you have to get creative. Hope you are well!
  12. ladyofthebog

    Thom starts building consistency

    i love your attitude, that this sorrow is clearing you out for something greater but also sorry that it happened. would like to add that the name cootamundra is AMAZING. i wish we had a cootamundra. maybe i'll have to name our household that.
  13. ladyofthebog

    Dr Deffy's Holistic Hotness

    dude, my doc didn't know about nuvaring either recently! wild. it's my favorite birth control so far. not sure why it isn't more popular? maybe it freaks people out putting something up their vag? what i didn't know, "peng" gosh, i love british slang.
  14. ladyofthebog

    20 seconds of courage

    yay! glad you are here i echo what @Guzzi wrote so eloquently and would like to add that putting into words is the first steps out the door on your journey. to reference the inestimable gandolf, "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door,” he used to say. 'You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no telling where you might be swept off to.'” healthy and active is hot and really that comes in all shapes, sizes, and verbs. sounds lke you have the body type that many women love to squeeze on.
  15. ladyofthebog

    Thom starts building consistency

    aww cutie! she is an inspiration and i can't imagine how hard that must be in a kid. i'm a nurse and always wanted to work in peds (well, technically i have but w/ newborns) but don't think my heart could bear working with kiddos who are struggling. i hope the med changes are going to do her well.
  16. kishi! i'm lax on this log but keeping up(ish) on the challenges! better updating on the challenge here:
  17. Hello world! I'm excited to log my fitness journey. I want to be accountable and I want to share. Life has gotten off the rails lately and I want to get in charge of my now. Thank you for stopping by! April 19th Start of my journey. Here we go. Let's keep this up. Attached is me today! Today, I'm running about 2 miles to and fro the playground with my daughter, Rowan. I'm going to try to do tonight some at home booty body weight exercises. I lifted yesterday. It's a deload week and I had a lovely time at the gym. Still getting the courage up to take my daughter to the daycare there- I'm freaked out about the cesspool of germs no doubt layering every surface there. We shall see! Trying to decide whether I want to track my macros. In the past, it has contributed to some disordered eating to be frank. I'm in this to help get my mind healthy as much as my body. I've been struggling w/ depression and w/ the introduction of some pharmacological intervention as well as conscious choices and mindfulness I've been feeling a lot better. I eat pretty healthy, snack a bit because of the mom lifestyle. I meal prep for my husband's lunches, toddler food for my little 13 month old bundle of joy. I'd like to start meal prepping more for myself, too. xxoo QUEST Hobbit frame of mind daily walks/runs outside w/ the pooch, baby Rowbug, and possibly husband (if I can convince him) weekly hike weekly dinner w/ in laws, my parents, and friends finishing permitting for the TINY HOME!! Fitness life GYM 3x/week (continue Strong by Bret program Hip thrust 3x10: 155p in one month squat 3x3: 145p in one month Run x2 week w/ family Elven Studies lecture/reading x2 per week
  18. ladyofthebog

    Onward

    so many things to respond to: 1) oh man, those cakes. i want to devour them. i would have no self control control around such beauties 2) cool about LA! i had no idea about dan inosanto. unrelated but also warm place: we're planning a girl's trip down to palm springs this... spring (i just realized how apt that is) which is kind of LA territory. oh, how i miss california. 3) i think having small children is hard but ultimately strengthening to marriage? kind of like why impact makes bones stronger. my husband and i were together for a good long time before having a nugget. we got used to the bacchanalia that is love w/o marriage. gosh, looking back on it it seems almost roman in it's opulence, doesn't it? having a kid has made us work more as a team than ever before... which has been difficult. so feeling you on the marital struggles there but ultimately hopeful for us all?
  19. ladyofthebog

    LadyoftheBog is Faceless (Wo)man While Also Channeling Inara Serra

    Week 1: It Begins I worked out at night yesterday which I just loathe. Still made it through and woke up this morning feeling tight all over and not in a good, "hey, how grand! I worked out my body so well yesterday" but the "I am too little butter spread over too much bread" kind of way. Still stoked I convinced myself to do it and on track to have hit my 6 workouts/week goal. It's going on 5 weeks now that I've hit the 6x/week and I'm really feeling good for it. I think the general malaise may be because the tiny munchkin woke up at 450 am yesterday and 530 am today. Given, she does sleep through the night and goes to bed at dusk basically but, man, these are too early of hours for me to maintain! *photographic evidence of working out when the sun has gone down; doesn't really capture how drenched i am with sweat So, living in a tiny house we don't have a pantry. Still, liking this solution fine: * also on diet related stuff: I MADE DELICIOUS VEGAN PHO. I am constantly on the search for vegetarian pho (yeah, I get that pho is technically beef broth) and haven't found something that either 1) is probably actually beef broth with tofu 2) isn't very far from me. I AM SO HAPPY about this self sufficient pho development. Started this book and just wild about it so far: This isn't a very coherent update on this quest but what can I say: sleep deprivation. Will update on quest's parameters at week's end! I especially like to imagine sneaking about when doing spider push ups. true dat. yes on epic music! i like to listen to viking chants sometimes. i have read the badass book! it was awhile ago when it first came back but i remember it as charming! i'll share philosophy lectures as i listen to them and we can nerd out on them! yes, i agree about conclusions- you never step into the same river twice! i remember reading heraclitus back in the day and really liking that idea.